*TW* Traumatic experience during pregnancy?

kaitieb14

So regulars know what happened to us on the 3rd with my anaphylaxis and not finding baby's heartbeat until ultrasound several hours in. I'm seriously struggling with anxiety now. Anyone who has experienced trauma during their pregnancies either current or previous, how did you cope? What advice do you have for processing in a healthy way? Hopefully this helps more than just me!

ShePersisted

Nothing as serious as what you experienced but my etopic pregnancy experience was very traumatizing for me and it took a big toll on my mental and physical well being. I was depressed and woke up anxious many nights. It took a while to get back to normal and I just let it pass and did not seek help. I probably might have to get help if I had not gotten pregnant again. 

Have you talked to your OB yet on how this has impacteded you? Perhaps not as it's been so recent I suppose?  I'm sure ladies here will have great examples of coping mechanisms but if that does not help maybe your OB can set you up for a couple sessions with a psychologist. Unlike a psychiatrist, a psychologist can help sort issues of anxiety without medication and can provide teschniques to deal with the trauma you faced. You could just be having symptoms of PTSD in a mild form and you may feel better in a week or two and finding some coping mechanisms will certainly help. The key is to let your OB and family know if you think you are unable to cope and get a couple referrals that you can call if it is affecting you. Absolutely don't hesitate and go with your gut if you think you need help. 

Hang in there hun - I'm sounds like it was a horrible experience and what your are feeling seems like an expected reaction to anything that traumatizing. You will get through this. 

kalenp

Some coping mechanisms I found helpful when struggling with pp anxiety and depression were essentially mindfulness exercises and meditation. I found Kristin Neff's guided meditations really helpful at grounding me in this moment right now and not getting focused on what happened before or what might happen in the future. https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#guided-meditations

jhsoontobe3

With my first I had a preterm labor scare at 29 weeks. My doctor was very dismissive of my concerns which actually led me to going to the ER several times (it was always a good thing I went to the ER!). Said doctor was horrible to me from then on (there's sooo much more to my story. My LPC actually urged me to seek legal action. But anyway)
I unfortunately don't have any suggestions for you. I struggled very deeply the rest of my pregnancy with anxiety. I do want to urge you to talk to your OB or your PCP or even anybody to find something that helps YOU. I ended up with PPD and PTSD from my expierence and not dealing with the anxiety. For me all it took was to see an LPC and talk about it. I needed someone to validate my feeling and anxiety. I just unfortunately didn't recognize what was wrong and my doctor was obviously useless in that aspect as well. 
I don't want to scare you! Just want you to know that the sooner you can get some help the better!! 
Sending good thoughts and hoping you can find something to help! 
You're off to a great start! 

kaitieb14

@jesslardarello I'm having my follow up with my OB in the morning to see how they want to modify my care going forward based on what happened. I'm definitely going to talk about the traumatic aspect of it and get some counselor recommendations. I feel like a few IRL friends aren't understanding just how serious it was and that anaphylaxis means both my son and I very easily could have died so they're like blowing it off and acting like it's weird that I still don't feel good (throats closed guys, that takes time to return to normal). I really like their practice though so I feel like they'll be supportive and I'm just talking to friends who understand why it was bad. The friend I was with has been amazing, probably because she watched it go down.

tashandma

 @kaitieb14 I'm so sorry that happened to you! 
About a week and a half ago, as i was driving to the store from work, I attempted to use my gps to get directions. As I was trying to type I realized that my fingers weren't tapping the correct letters on my keyboard on my phone. I wasn't sure if it was my eye sight or just a faint dizzy spell so I didn't worry too much. I called my husband to tell him what was going on and promised I'd let him know if anything else changed. I got to the store and went in to make my purchase and noticed that I was having the same issue with my fingers not tapping the correct buttons on the self check out screen. As I walked out of the store everything started to look weird and I felt like I was in a sort of fog. I called my husband again to tell him and he insisted I stay on the phone with him as I drove home- 30 minute drive. I got on the freeway and began having speech issues. I couldn't say the words that I wanted to and the fog that I was feeling in my head continued to get worse. H urged me to pull over and call 911 so eventually I was able to stop at a gas station. When I went, I couldn't even ask anyone to call 911 because I couldn't speak, so my husband had to tell them I needed help on speakerphone. I would try to say something like "I need help" but instead it came out like "help I 911". The ambulance took like 30 minutes to show up and during that time my head and lips and hand went numb.

**TW**
I was having Braxton hicks contractions and honestly thought my baby was dying. As I sat there totally helpless, I mourned my baby. I really thought we were both dying..it FELT like we were dying. 

It was absolutely the scariest day of my life. I ended up having a million tests run, and they have no idea what it was. They diagnosed me with some sort of brain trauma and that is all. I don't even think the doctors even understand what happened and how bad it was since I was almost completely better by the time I got to the hospital. Anyway, the next few days were pretty rough because I had to keep reminding myself that the baby is still alive well. I think it made it worse since they didn't care nearly as much about the baby since I was only 19 weeks pregnant. That was probably the hardest part. I think the A/S will bring some peace and also when I begin to feel more movement, I'm sure that will help. 

BayCamp

@kaitieb14 with my first pregnancy I had a large bleeding episode at 16 weeks and was put on temporary bed rest. It turned out not to be anything super scary (thank god) but with the amount of blood I lost I was convinced I was losing him. 3 years later and I still cry if I think about it. 

I think the biggest thing is allowing yourself to feel all the feelings. I felt a need to treat it like "no big deal" and spent the rest of my pregnancy in a secret anxiety filled state. What happened to you was terrible and it's ok if you need to talk to someone or just cry. 

mageemaay

@kaitieb14 Oh my goodness. I'm so glad you wrote this. This pregnancy for me has been such a roller coaster. We got pregnant very unexpectedly while I was on the mini-pill. When we finally calmed down and got used to the idea that we were having a 3rd baby, my bloodwork came back high risk for Trisomy 18. In that same phone call we found out our baby is a boy. I felt like I couldn't get excited because I was just so scared I was going to lose him. Our 12 week US was good, and everyone around me kept saying that they knew it was going to be fine. I know the sentiment was meant with good intentions, but it was so hard to hear because even though he looked good then, there was still no definite answer. Then the 16 week US had soft markers and my high risk dr said he thought my baby had it. Enter in blood work and MORE waiting. From 11ish weeks to 18ish weeks, we had no clue what was going on. When we got the good news, I obviously felt relief, but I still can't shake the anxiety. Anytime anyone asks about him or says how happy they are for good news, I start crying.

I told my husband that I feel like my anxiety was like blowing up a balloon with air. The good news poked a hole in it, but it's just VERY slowly fading. We've had our good news for about 2.5 weeks and I still feel so unsettled. I told my doctor at my appointment yesterday that I felt like a crazy person. In my mind I know I should be happy and relieved, but I still feel so stressed.

All of that to say- I totally get the feeling of not knowing how to cope. I'm going to keep following this thread for more ideas. While most of our friends and family knew how serious this was (because a quick google search will tell you immediately how awful it is), I don't think they understand why I still feel so overwhelmed.

Sending lots of hugs your way. I am (extremely anxiously) awaiting the moment when we get to snuggle these sweet little trouble makers that have made us worry so much.