Worst day

12chachacha

Hi all, I haven't been on the bump in a few years, but here I am again.
I found out today that my babe stopped growing at 7w5d, no heartbeat. I should have been 9w1d today. I went in to get checked because I was having light bleeding. 2 weeks ago I saw a perfect embryo and strong heartbeat. I don't understand what happened.
Only a few people knew I was pregnant so I feel terribly alone (my husband is being great but he is sad too).
This is devastating. I had a lot of plans for this baby. It feels like a bad dream. I'm scared about what will happen next. I will have to see my doctor tomorrow to discuss next steps. 
I guess I have a few questions.
Has anyone on here taken misopristil/cytotec? What was your experience? How long did it take to complete the process?
When will I feel better? Like, stop crying so much and move on. My head hurts from crying. What can I do to help feel better?
Thanks all.

Mack2342

So sorry for your loss.  I have no experience with the medication.  I had a d & c for both of mine.  I wanted the process to be quick so my body could return to normal quickly so we could try again.  I'm older and didn't want to waste any time.  As far as emotionally, I cried every day for a few weeks.  I took a week off work each time so I could just grieve.   When I went back to work the first week, I cried there wasn't productive.  I found that everyday things got a little better and then one day I didn't cry at all.  It's a difficult place to be but it does get easier with time.  I still have moments.  My my first loss was almost a year ago.  I talked about it a lot to whoever would listen as that was healing to me.   Take all the time you need to grieve.  Everyone is different in how they handle things.   Again I'm sorry you are here.  I found this to be a great supportive community.  

jchpg

@12chachacha I'm so sorry you find yourself here. It's a community no one wants to join- but it's been a huge help to me. I misscarried at the end of March and took cytotec. It was overall a good choice for me. I followed tips a found on here- lightly wet pills before inserting and take pain meds a little before. I also used a heating pad for the pain. Overall it was a fairly fast process for me and my period started back up 27 days later. Just shy of my 30 day cycle. I think mentally dealing with it is different for all of us. About a month after I was able to hold it together better... but it is still hard. You will get through it! Speaking to people helped me a lot and these message boards have been a huge help. Good luck to you for an easy process. 

Stac928

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard. 

We had had a MMC. I tried misoprostol first. 4 doses across 12 hours. For me nothing happened until after 4th dose (around 7 pm). Felt cramping. Light bleeding, only noticeable when wiping (sorry if TMI). I kept up with pain meds because I was scared to death of the pain (I'm not usually fearful of pain). Around 9 pm I started having contractions, which continued to get longer and closer together. Took pain meds early. Still more than I could handle. My OB instructed that if the pain got more than the pain meds controlled go to the ER. Went to the ER, there I basically partially delivered the fetal tissue. IV pain meds were a miracle. However I ended up with a D&C the next morning because my body could not complete the process.  Period came 33 days after D&C (my regular cycle is 32 days). 

I took bereavement leave for a week. It's been about a month. I still cry sometimes. Less often. I don't know if I'll ever move on. But I have healed some. But we lost a baby, not something I will forget. We had a lot of support and for us some things like attending the hospital's memorial service for pregnancy loss helped. We also planted a memorial plant. You'll find things that help you too.  

zamoraspin

@12chachacha I'm so sorry you are going through this. I had an mmc (went in at 7w1d for u/s, only a sac measuring 5w was there, same when I went back the following week). By the time I went to my second appt I was bleeding. The dr said I could wait it out, take cytotec, or have d&c. 

I took the cytotec and for me it was the right decision. I took 4 pills vaginally. My bleeding got heavier and I had more clots come out within a few hours of taking the meds. I had cramps but they were just like really bad period cramps. I alternated Tylenol and Advil. 

The following am I passed what I think was the placenta and sac. I bled for 5 days or so after taking the cytotec, then spotted a bit, then no more bleeding. 

I read a study undicating that women who are already miscarrying may find the meds more effective, also weirdly Rh negative women have better reaction for unknown reasons.

If you take it do it when you have time to be at home. Get those giant 12 hour maxi pads, stay hydrated, and have someone home with you. Most women do fine with it but if you bleed too heavily you need to go to a hospital. 

kmoore6886

Hello ladies I am so sorry for all of your losses. I went in for my second ultrasound yesterday and found out that my pregnancy is not viable. There was no fetal pole or heartbeat, I had a frozen embryo transfer done so I know exactly how far along I should be. I am numb, this is my second miscarriage in a row and I'm feeling so hopeless. Now I have to decide if I will have a D&C and the tissue can be tested to see what happened or I can take the medicine to bring on the miscarriage. My doctor also recommended getting blood work done to see if I have a clotting disorder or something else that is causing the miscarriages.  Any advice?

TheRealVeronicaSawyer

@12chachacha I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how hard it is to get your head around losing a baby when everything was perfect just a couple weeks earlier. I don't really have any advice about the medicine. My first loss was natural and my second was a D&C. It's hard to say how long it will take to feel better. I missed a week of work because of the physical and emotional pain. Like you, I couldn't stop crying and thinking it was something I did (I know now it wasn't anything I did). When I did stop crying, I wanted to do anything to take my mind off of it. Like I started looking at new houses because I felt like I needed a change in my life. And, I wanted to start trying as soon as I could to have another baby. I don't know if those things are healthy, but that's how I tried to get through the gloom. And like others have said, this community is a great place to talk to others who have been through it. 

@kmoore6886 I feel like I could have written parts of your post. I'm so sorry for your losses. I also had two miscarriages. After the first, even though I was heartbroken and devastated, I thought it was just a one time thing. After the second, I felt completely hopeless. I didn't think I would ever have a successful pregnancy.  I also was going through fertility treatments (IUIs). So at first I couldn't get pregnant and then it seemed like I would never be able to sustain a pregnancy. My second was a missed miscarriage so they did a D&C and I got RPL testing and they tested the embryo. They couldn't find anything wrong. Of course, this is not what I wanted to hear...what was causing the losses then? I still don't know. I had unexplained infertility and now I was having unexplained losses. Having said that, I still would urge you to get testing done if they are offering it. Sometimes they can't find a reason (such as my case), but many times they do and then you can take the proper precautions next time. There are many ladies here who have had testing done and found out what may have been causing their losses. I do want to add that I did go on to have a successful pregnancy. I was scared as hell throughout though. I do wish you the best and I'm sure you'll make the decision that is best for yourself. 

kmoore6886

@TheRealVeronicaSawyer thank you for responding. I am sorry for your losses but it is wonderful that you had a successful pregnancy. I really don't know what to do, the d&c scares me because I don't want it to possibly affect my fertility (even more) due to scarring. However the thought of having a miscarriage at home is scary too. 

dpjennifer

@kmoore6886 I'd say go for the D&C and tissue testing if you can. As said above, they may not find anything. Or they may just find a standard chromosomal abnormality (the most usual cause of early loss). But if there's a chance they could find a 'problem' that would allow you to go on to have a healthy viable pregnancy next time, then I would take it.

12chachacha

Thank you everyone for your replies. I ended up completing the process naturally on Saturday before taking the medication. I took the week off work to grieve and heal, but my inlaws are in town this weekend which will be hard.
I'm haunted by memories of those few weeks. Finding out I was pregnant, seeing that perfect little heartbeat flickering on the screen. A couple weeks ago my uncle passed away and I had to fly home. I left my daughter home with her dad. On my way out the door I said, "take care of my girl" and he replied, "take care of my boy." And we both chuckled. The baby was already gone by then. We didn't know if it was a girl or a boy but in my head it was a boy. I had so many plans and ideas of what he would be like. 
I have to go back to work on Monday and I really don't want to. I wish I could skip ahead a few months. I want to get pregnant again as soon as possible. This is so hard.
@kmoore6886 I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you find some answers.

gingerdevika

Hello dear. I am really sorry for your loss. It is really such sad news. Your symptoms and posts not seems goods which can bring the terrible time for you. Your story sounds similar to me and I had also gone through such situation in my life. I know what you are feeling right now but it is the wish of God that you have gone though bad phase in this time. No growth and no heartbeat clearly show the indication of the miscarriage. I am really sorry to say like this, but in the past due to the imbalance of the hormones and irregular periods the chance enhance of the miscarriage. My dear friend, maybe the God is looking for the best and want good for your life. It is the time you need to hope for the best and keep the mind positive. You need to take the things with great courage and need the complete support of your husband and the family members.

Whatever happened in the past was not good for you. But it is the time to take care of your health properly so you can conceive the healthy baby next time. You need to make the changes in your life. You can eat the high nutrients foods and take the iron rich diet daily. You can take the pulses, green leafy vegetable and multivitamins diet for the betterment of the health. To make the changes in your life you can go for the morning walk daily and concentrate on exercise daily. It helps in balancing the hormones and regulate the periods to have the blessed and lovely baby. I wish you all the best and hope to see you soon here.