You said what?!?! — The Bump
January 2018 Moms

You said what?!?!

I thought this might be a fun follow up to yesterday's birth plan thread.

STM please share with us the funny, cringe worthy, embarrassing things you/ your partner said or did during labor


crizz13
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Re: You said what?!?!

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  • @KatieEl  lmao thats hilarious!

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    KatieEl
  • Kinda funny, I worked night shift in the OB department I delivered in and a few hours after night shift came on and some decels, we agreed to a C/S. As I entered the OR suite, the song "Working the night shift" literally Just started playing on the radio. I was like Really!, and my Nurse/coworker and I were laughing about the coincidence.... Which at that place coincidences happened all the time and were usually blamed on a benevolent ghost Margaret. 
    crizz13Shanski70
  • My OB went to break my water and proceeded to say the WORST thing you could possibly say to a laboring woman:
    (11 am)OB: Ok, so we just broke your water and it could be up to 18 hours before we have a baby. 
    Me: *eyes get really big* Over my dead body. 
    DS was born at 12:43pm. So it definitely was not 18 hours.
    jakobabyPleaseSendPicklesNowcrizz13CANTW82BMOM
  • @cyanope I just want to give you big praise. You are the first woman I have ever known to admit to pooping while giving birth. They say it happens a lot but anyone Ive asked says they didnt. Unless its just that many woman dont even know? 

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    cyanopeselahluna
  • @cyanope  And the professionals there see it all the time, it is not a big deal at all. A discreet wipe by the doc and its like it never happened. 

    I remember one mom in the delivery room jokingly said her baby was 'going to be all "Cash me outside Dr. C!"' All of us were laughing, except for Dr. C who I had to explain the viral video to. 

    missblaze
  • Yep, @LemmyRN! DH said the nurse cleaned it up SO quickly that it barely even registered to him that I had pooped! 
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    LemmyRNcrizz13
  • This thread is great!

    I was induced with DS and decided to ask for the epidural when the pain got to be pretty intense. They said the anesthesiologist would be right in, that he was next door. An hour and a half later, he was still not there. I was pacing and completely irrational that once he did arrive, I tried to negotiate in minutes how long it would take him to get the drugs in. I said, 'How long is this going to take?' He said, 'How about 10 minutes?' I said, 'How about five?' We settled on 7. Honestly, I don't know how long it really took but my nurse was such a rock star to keep me still through it, profanity and all. It is so hard to sit still when a baby is pushing through your pelvis.

    Also, if DH tries to shush me through my screams this time, I'm going to chew his head off. I was way too nice last time.

    Side note: the reason it took the anesthesiologist so long to show up is because they had an emergency in the room next door. Dad fainted during the epidural and cracked his head open!
    crizz13LemmyRN
  • I'm surprised they let Dad watch, @jakobaby! When I had mine, the anesthesiologist told DH to go hold my hands so he couldn't see my back. He told us that they don't let partners (or anyone else for that matter) watch for that exact reason...too many people pass out! 
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    EDD: 12/30/17
    crizz13LemmyRNjakobaby
  • Love this!
    My labor was 37 hours, so I had ample time to say lots of embarrassing things... however, what I remember is that right before they told me it was time to push, I just lost it---crying hysterically and proclaiming that I was a failure who would never financially be able to provide for her. Honestly it was so dramatic. I was really proud of myself for being that ridiculous  :)

    @schaze  I am beyond jealous.  For the whole 37 hours of labor I was not allowed to eat the entire time. After 12 hours, I exclusively talked about food—what food sounded good, what I wanted people to get me after I delivered, what I was going to eat next week, etc.  

    *TW*

    DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015

    DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017

    BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019

    BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020 

    crizz13whitta1218Shanski70
  • When it came time to hold up my legs and practice pushing, the nurse took one and my ex took the other. After the first she asked, "Are you feeling okay? Light-headed or queasy?"

    My ex answers before I can: "YES."

    She just looked at him for a second and said, "Well, we don't want Dad fainting, so let's bring that rocker over here."

    The nurse was the BEST.

    @Shanski70 I also started shaking uncontrollably when they said it was time to push. It didn't stop until about half an hour after he was born, and they said that was normal. 
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  • @livingoffpbjs @cyanope My nurse swore I didn't poop (I was 22 and so mortified by the idea) but I saw her walk away at one point during pushing, hands cupped, into the bathroom.

    I totally pooped, but she's a doll for pretending for my comfort, lol.
    Pregnancy Ticker
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    crizz13EmilyLove25JuliaGoolia719CANTW82BMOM
  • I labored to 8 cm pretty calmly and managing pain. When doctor came in and said it was time to push, I told them I couldn't because it felt like I needed to poop. They said that means it's time to push. We went back and forth of them telling me I needed to push and me saying no, until I just started pushing. I have no idea if I did or did not poop. I didn't ask and they didn't tell.

    While I was pushing, I screamed: It's not working, she keeps going back inside. Lol

     
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    LemmyRNmissblazeShanski70
  • @EmilyLove25 ditto. They wouldn't let me eat after noon they day I was induced. Then I didn't get to eat through my labor and then the next day I had Banner at 6 pm. They still didn't let me eat till the next day and only after I had my blood transfusion.  So I went 48 hours. I lost sh** on them. They also broke my water at 9 am and a lot of blood gushed out, probably why I needed the blood transfusion. And they wouldn't let me shower until the confirmed that I didn't need another blood transfusion. It was the most disgusting I'd ever felt. I'm delivering at the same hospital this time. But I'll be a repeat c-section so it should go smoother. 

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  • Love this thread!! Thanks ladies! :)
  • @cyanope Luckily, DH took it upon himself to sit down and look away when I had mine. I'm delivering at a different hospital this time because we moved. Their policy is that dads have to step out for the epidural. The L and D nurse told me they had too many accidents!
    cyanope
  • Awesome thread!  I was in labor with DS for approximately 18 hours.  The little guy kicked the top of the bag open so I was barely even a half centimeter when we got to the hospital.  The labor and delivery went pretty smooth.  I know for a definitive fact that I pooped continuously while I was pushing.  At one point I commented on how bad it smelled and then apologized.  Craziest moment was while waiting for the placenta to come and realizing it wasn't going to do it on it's own.  Dr. turned to the nurse and said I am going to need the sleeve and all I could think was, "The [email protected]#k?!". Yep, got the full manual sweep to remove the placenta.  My epidural had basically worn of at that point, OUCH!
    LemmyRN
  • I said so much crazy sh*t during labor that DH told my sister there's no way he can do that alone with me again. 

    I was yelling for Jesus to take me and telling DH with complete sincerity that I wanted to die. 

    During pushing I asked if I could take a 15 minute break, to which I was denied. In my defense though, pushing is exhausting!

    When they put DS on me, the first words from my mouth were "omg look at his head!"

    EmilyLove25jakobabyLemmyRN
  • @egirl1025 I also had the OB elbow deep in my uterus. I have to say that the actual giving birth part was almost painless compared to the elbow deep in the uterus. Most traumatic experience of my life. And now the rest of you lovely ladies know that this is a possibility. I'm sorry.
    egirl1025
  • I had a C-section. After DD was out and they were cleaning her off, I started to feel VERY queasy. Ryan brought the baby around to hold her near my face and all I could say was, "I'm going to throw up!" My OB asked if I was feeling nauseous and when I said YES, she stated that this was because she was holding all of my organs in her hands, and if I could hold on just another minute, everything would be put back into place. LOL. Yeah, I quickly told her that I needed something in the IV for nausea, STAT.

    I use Hypnobabies! http://www.hypnobabies-store.com/link.cgi?affiliateID=472

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  • missblaze said:
    I had a C-section. After DD was out and they were cleaning her off, I started to feel VERY queasy. Ryan brought the baby around to hold her near my face and all I could say was, "I'm going to throw up!" My OB asked if I was feeling nauseous and when I said YES, she stated that this was because she was holding all of my organs in her hands, and if I could hold on just another minute, everything would be put back into place. LOL. Yeah, I quickly told her that I needed something in the IV for nausea, STAT.
    No. Holy. F**k. Omg I don't even know how I'd react to being told that. Maybe "OK THAT DIDNT MAKE IT BETTER"
    LemmyRNdarkrose88ollydolly
  • missblazemissblaze
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    edited June 2017

    @EmmyMommy123 In my OB's defense, I'd been seeing her since I was 16 (so half my life) and we had a close relationship. lol 

    ETA: THAT, and I'm very science-minded, so I appreciated the explanation. Didn't lessen the nausea though!

    I use Hypnobabies! http://www.hypnobabies-store.com/link.cgi?affiliateID=472

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  • vjraabvjraab
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    Pooping was my biggest fear too! I was so proud of myself that it didn't happen, but my husband broke the news to me days later that it did. 

    The part of my labor with DD that still makes me laugh was (not when I projectile vomited red popsicle on my mother) but when the doctor pulled the 2 foley balls out. My husband nearly lost it. I've never seen him so queasy. 

    Labor is is so beautiful! 
    EmilyLove25
  • I just remembered that I majorly eye rolled the intern (it was a teaching hospital) who sprayed IV fluid all over me and DH called me out on it. 

    I also told DH it wasn't that bad when it was over and he told me it was a good thing I didn't have contacts in or my glasses on because I couldn't see all the equipment and blood everywhere.

    After delivery, my bladder was still too full but I was not allowed out of bed yet. My nurses were so sympathetic about what I had gone through, they decided they would push my bladder empty instead of putting another catheter in. They literally pushed on my bladder and made me pee the bed for a good 5-10 minutes until it was empty. DH wasn't really aware of what was going on until I yelled at him that they were making me pee myself. The nurses laughed and told me that they were trying to do it discreetly! 
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  • bainidhedubbainidhedub
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    edited June 2017
    I remember apologizing to the nurses when I was pushing bc I couldn't tell if I was pooping or not and that was gross.

    Food was a whole 'nother one for me too... I went 24 hours from breakfast (a bagel at 5am bc I couldn't sleep due to contractions) til the next morning when I got the hospital breakfast, but since I'd had a c-section they had me on the "liquid" diet, and since I'd gotten to the room in the middle of the night I didn't get to do a menu page, so even though I had checked off "vegetarian" on my pre-registration form I ended up with chicken broth. I was so, so hungry I considered eating some but fortunately a nurse came in and helped me get some vegetable instead.
    Once I finally got cleared for real food I asked the nurses if I was allowed to eat snacks and not just the official meals, and they were like "Ummm.... yeah. Eat that Chipotle."
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  • Cricket99 said: 
    @egirl1025 I also had the OB elbow deep in my uterus. I have to say that the actual giving birth part was almost painless compared to the elbow deep in the uterus. Most traumatic experience of my life. And now the rest of you lovely ladies know that this is a possibility. I'm sorry.
    Definitely ranks right up there with my IUD removal for most traumatic experiences.  The strings for my IUD ended up inside my uterus, so a fishing expedition commenced.  All I can say is that cervical/uterus pain is an all together different level of pain and I have my teeth filled without novacaine.  
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