Weekly Randoms 6.26-7.1

mrsrep123

Gonna start including the weekend dates again since we no longer need a separate thread for it...

What's going on this week?

mrsrep123

I was surprised to see we did not have one single post yesterday...

psherman42wwsa

Nothing new happening over here this week. My baby still is a terrible sleeper, wakes up the minute I put him down. Its exhausting and I cannot get anything done unless dh is home. 

mrsrep123

lrwardrop said:

Nothing new happening over here this week. My baby still is a terrible sleeper, wakes up the minute I put him down. Its exhausting and I cannot get anything done unless dh is home. 

@lrwardrop will he tolerate a carrier?

mcvgal

@lrwardrop sorry to hear he's not a good sleeper. Depending on what type of stroller you have, can you try setting him in there and walking around the house until he sleeps. That way he's never actually having to move away from your arms.

One week from today DD will be 4 months old already. Maybe because she's my last baby, but time seems to be passing so much faster with her than with my boys We had a family movie date and watched Cars 3 over the weekend. I loved the movie. 

psherman42wwsa

 I use a carrier during the day. Its night when I'm so exhausted. I keep wondering what I'm doing wrong and why everyone else has a sleepy baby. My first was a terrible sleeper too.

Family movie date, how cute

starphish18

mrsrep123 said:

I was surprised to see we did not have one single post yesterday...

Yeesh!

starphish18

@mcvgal Almost 4 months already!? Holy cow! I can't believe it's been that long.

My H went back to work today, so it was my first day by myself as a SAHM. It actually went really well! She waited patiently while I ate breakfast, we did morning chest snuggles like H used to do, we ran to Target so I could pick up some shorts and a latte, I got some laundry done, we had a lot of couch time because she didn't want to sleep anywhere else, and I finally got her to chill in the RnP so I did a couple other tidying things around the house. She was barely fussy all day, apart from just wanting to be with me. Only downside was I didn't get a nap in, so I'm pretty tired.

Remind me, who's a SAHM, who's back to work, and who's still on maternity leave?

ShadeofGreen816

@lrwardrop I'm right there with you! DD is a constant cluster feeder and sleeps 3 hrs max at a time. We'd gotten into a pretty good rhythm last week with consistent 2.5-3 hr stretches in her DockATot. Then the last two nights she insists on being held and only slept 1.5-2 hrs max. Ugh. So. Tired!! 

@starphish18 I'm still on maternity leave for 9 more weeks! Already seems too short although I am 2 days/week when I go back for now. 

mrsrep123

@lrwardrop hmm... have you tried a white noise machine or app at night?

@starphish18 I have 5 more weeks of baby bonding time. I will use the remaining 6 weeks of bonding time spread out through his first year. It's great because the time off can't be denied so I'll use 1 week while we move, 2 weeks over the holidays, then the last week for his 1st birthday (I did the same with DS1).

Glad to hear your first day alone as a sham was both productive and easy-going!

Jens_Hoes

I'm currently on leave. I go back August 28th and I know it's still so far away, it doesn't seem like enough

We have such a hard time sleeping during the day, she seems to always want to be in my arms. And ironically she sleeps so well when other people are here, but when it's just her and me... nope! Such a pain in the butt. I can't complain though, she sleeps much better at night. 

Kateriee

I'm a SAHM. Luckily DD sleeps well in her bassinet or PNP day or night. Since she's slept a lot today we will be up all night. I'm not pushing a routine yet and I'm able to sleep when she does.

I had my six week PP check up and was cleared for exercise and sex. I'm looking forward to bonding physically with DH. I miss sex.

I'm a little irritated with my doctor though. Today he said usually people at six weeks have lost 25lbs and since I'm only down 15 lbs I should start counting my calories. I plan to diet and exercise but I feel he shouldn't be judging where I'm at and where I should be.

 This is the same doctor who said my baby was really big, I would most likely labor for 20+ hours, possibly have a c section due to not dropping and having a big baby and I'd go past my due date. She was a week early I laboured 10 hours at home 2 hours at hospital before I had my 5.8lb daughter naturally. (This ended up being a longer rant than I had anticipated)

psherman42wwsa

@mrsrep123 I use a white noise machine. I'm 2 for 2 with bad sleepers so I feel like I've tried most things. 

Im on maternity leave but we have decided I won't return to work. I'll be a sahm for a year or two. It's a lot of work being at home but I know I won't regret the opportunity while my boys are little. 

If you guys are sleeping for 2 or 3 hours at a time, consider yourselves lucky! I sleep for 45 min max. I made a Dr. Appt for this week to talk with them about the grunting when I lay ds down at night. He grunts so loud and kicks his legs like he's very uncomfortable . it almost sounds like he's choking or gagging on something. He does this flat and in the rock and play... Mainly just at night. Does that sound normal to you guys? 

psherman42wwsa

@Kateriee I would be annoyed too! 

redheeler

@lrwardrop DS grunts and kicks in his sleep a lot, but doesn't sound like he's choking just grunting, if I woke up to everytime he did it I'd probably only sleep for 45mins at a time too, so it does sound normal to me. Deinitetly ask about it as it may not be for him, but babies make ALOT of noise in their sleep for the first few months

mrsrep123

@lrwardrop ugh, I'm so sorry. 45 min max?! And I hope I wasn't too annoying throwing out suggestions especially that you are 2 for 2?!

I noticed recently that DS2 will grunt and kick in his sleep intermittently. I'll "shush" for a bit and he settles back down. I think we just finished a growth spurt, though, and we are heading into his second leap... so lots of changes over here... just as I was starting to see a pattern/routine forming, lol.

mrsrep123

I dislike how a random poster bumped @Jens_Hoes off of the last birth announcement. 

Jens_Hoes

@mrsrep123 I felt the same way, and I even refused to open the thread for a week or so after she posted. I thought I was just being petty, but glad someone else feels that way lol

OmegaRose3

Why on earth do people who have never once participated on this board feel the need to share their birth stories here? That's something I never quite understood about TB.

I'm in the same boat as you, @lrwardrop DS is eating quite a bit, wants to cluster feed and can be a bit difficult to get to stay asleep on his own and I'm pretty adamant about not wanting to bed share. Hoping I can get him in DD's crib and DD into a toddler bed here soon now that SIL is moving out and her room should be empty by the end of the week if everything goes as planned.

@mcvgal I like the idea of a family movie night! Sounds very sweet

@starphish18 I am a SAHM although DH and I have been talking a bit about me working something small and part-time for a little while so we can get into a better place when our lease is up come September. We'll see, but I'm not willing to entertain anything until I've had my 6 week checkup

mcvgal

@Kateriee that would be so annoying. I can't believe your weight was even mentioned.

kns1988

@mcvgal, wow, 4 months! Are you noticing any new, fun milestones? 

@starphish18, I have 3 weeks of maternity leave left. I'll be working 3 days in the office and 2 days from home when I go back. I thought I would be more sad about going back - I am a little bit, but I also think it'll be a good routine. I'm worried about my tiredness level, though, because I always get sleepy when I drive lately. 

Has anyone else struggled with expectations versus reality when it comes to maternity leave? I'm savoring the baby bonding time, but I thought that I would have more time to do things that I wanted to do. I thought I'd be hiking more, reading books, going for day trips... kind of like a vacation. Instead, I'm barely keeping up with laundry and cleaning, I pump and feed DS every 3 hours, and the time is flying by. I'm going to try to make the most of the last 3 weeks at least. 

psherman42wwsa

@mrsrep123 I wasn't annoyed one bit. I'll try any suggestion I haven't already. 

@kns1988 my husband had the same thoughts when he had some time off after baby was born. I had to remind him that the time off is for bonding and caring for your family, not getting chores done. It drives me crazy that my house isn't clean as I would like it and I cant get laundry done, but I know eventually I will get into a routine. I say sit back and snuggle your baby these last 3 weeks, you'll miss these days.

mcvgal

@kns1988 I was the same was after all my maternity leaves. I felt like I didn't get much accomplished, especially this time with all my hospitalizations. However, I feel like such a better mom now that I am back at work. I go into the office 2 days and work from home 3 days. I thought I'd be more tired, but I have a desk job so I feel like I get a lot of rest at work.

As far as Lucia's milestones, she has started smiling a lot more. She recognizes my voice and starts to look around to find the voice. She's also slept through the night 4 days in the last 2 weeks. I hope she continues that trend.

luckywife10

@starphish18 I'm on maternity leave until the end of July. H and I are discussing if it's even worth me going back to work though. I do have to work until the beginning of September, but then I might quit.

I'm also having trouble getting DS to sleep on his own. I've let him fall asleep on me after some night time feedings. Now he wants to fall asleep on me every time and will wake up and cry if I move him to his bassinet which is right by my bed. 

I'm annoyed with H because I was supposed to go to a new moms group this morning, but now I can't go. A plumber was coming to our house tomorrow to do some work, but he called H and said he had an opening today if we wanted him to come over. H said yes, knowing I wanted to go to this new moms group. I have to be home when the plumber arrives because he has questions about the project he will be working on. It would have been nice to get out of the house and meet some new moms, oh well.

Jens_Hoes

I'm only three weeks PP but I had such different expectations of what I'd be doing. I know I'm just getting the hang of everything but some days I can barely squeak in a shower, I definitely thought I'd be way more active and productive. 

ShadeofGreen816

Jens_Hoes said:

I'm only three weeks PP but I had such different expectations of what I'd be doing. I know I'm just getting the hang of everything but some days I can barely squeak in a shower, I definitely thought I'd be way more active and productive. 

So agree @Jens_Hoes! I'm needing to start studying for my NP boards. But there's no way until she starts taking somewhat predictable naps during the day. Hopefully that happens at some point after 6ish weeks. I think I'm putting way too much faith in the magic six week mark (magic mostly only in my own head!). 

mamatowildones

@Kateriee that's awful. And IMO please don't push weight loss. It'll happen! Are you BF? With my first I cut calories and my milk plummeted within the month and was gone by month three no matter what I did. This time I've only lost 15 at 2 months pp and focusing on feeding my son and myself enough to keep it up. It'll come off. It took 9 months to gain and it'll take about a year to come off for most people. At least it does for me. I'm always at my pre pregnancy weight by the end of baby's first year. 

mamatowildones

Ok so where are my fellow moms of boys? I'm on boy number 3. Today at the park I overheard a group of moms about my age talking about having all boys and how those moms have to make their peace with being alone during holidays because their sons will be with their wives families. It made me tear up right there in the park. 
I mean things can go in so many directions. I know what kind of mother in law I want to be. But I can't imagine being without my sons the majority of the time. It really upset me to think this could be my future. 

mcvgal

@mamatowildones it makes me sad to think of that too. But, I think instilling the traditions early on make a difference. My brother is the baby of the family and he tends to do a lot of stuff for/with his in-laws. However, he and my sister in law always make time for my mom on the holidays. We are a very close knit family and my sister in law just took for granted that we all celebrate with my parents too. It also helps that she is super cool, fits right in, and feels very welcome in our family.

starphish18

kns1988 said:

...
Has anyone else struggled with expectations versus reality when it comes to maternity leave? I'm savoring the baby bonding time, but I thought that I would have more time to do things that I wanted to do. I thought I'd be hiking more, reading books, going for day trips... kind of like a vacation. Instead, I'm barely keeping up with laundry and cleaning, I pump and feed DS every 3 hours, and the time is flying by. I'm going to try to make the most of the last 3 weeks at least. 

So much this. On good days, I can usually fit one thing in that I want to do. But on bad days, I don't have time for anything. I was also hoping to do more walking, reading, etc...even napping. But it never happens. I'm trying to cut myself a little slack and give it time to settle into a routine, but it's hard to feel like I'm doing so little right now.

starphish18

Day 2 of being a SAHM was so very much worse than day 1. Everything has just been crap. June projectile vomited all over me first thing in the morning. I cleaned us both us, gave her a bit of time, and fed her again. She then got hiccups and spit up a bunch more. And all day, she's just been very fussy and will only nap on me. I've been so tired today, plus hungry because I couldn't manage to make lunch, and frustrated that I couldn't even get us out for a walk. And then my H came home early because he pulled his back, and he took a hot bath, made lunch, and then took a nap. I was so frustrated with him. I get that he's in pain, but he could have at least asked if I wanted lunch, too. I sat there glaring at him for most of his nap. I know some days will be worse than others, it just really sucks sometimes.

mcvgal

@starphish18 sorry to hear today didn't go so well 

ShadeofGreen816

@starphish18 sorry about your day!! This week has been more bad days than good for us too and I know how defeating it is! And tonight MH did the same shit - got home, complained about his day, complained about the baby crying and then went upstairs to work out and shower without really asking if I needed anything as the baby was attached to my boob. It's so not like him so I tried to cut him some slack but it pissed me off. Like dude, I didn't even remember to brush my teeth... and you get to work out? Cool. 

chailife34

ShadeofGreen816 said:

@starphish18 sorry about your day!! This week has been more bad days than good for us too and I know how defeating it is! And tonight MH did the same shit - got home, complained about his day, complained about the baby crying and then went upstairs to work out and shower without really asking if I needed anything as the baby was attached to my boob. It's so not like him so I tried to cut him some slack but it pissed me off. Like dude, I didn't even remember to brush my teeth... and you get to work out? Cool. 

Ugh so much this. I haven't slept for three nights with a very fussy Isaac (we're changing formulas since he's so gassy) and I asked DW to watch the kids so I could try to sleep for an hour or two this morning. Heaven forbid, I finally get to sleep and am startled awake by her complaining about the dishes. I get up in a daze and start emptying the dishwasher, she comes over and tries to take the dish out of my hand. I snap that I'd take care of it and to leave me alone and she takes DD and leaves the house to cool off. Seriously wtf. The dishes could wait until I woke up. She sleeps in the guest room so she's actually getting sleep, I don't ask for any help with Isaac at night. Frustrating

kns1988

mamatowildones, it won't necessarily be like that with holidays! The mom of one of our employees was visiting camp today, and he gave her the biggest, longest hug this morning. He's a really big guy at over 6 feet tall, and you could tell he loved his mom so much. It almost made me tear up. 

psherman42wwsa

@mamatowildones I married a mommas boy, we go to both sides of the family every single holiday. Its exhausting . my H will never miss out on a family event on his side.. And there's a lot.

Add me to the list of annoyed wives. My H also complains that he doesn't sleep well and tonight he needed to go to bed at 945pm because he was so exhausted... Apparently he needs 9 or 10 hours of sleep all the sudden. Also one day last week when he got home from work he made a comment about dinner not being ready, I wanted to hurt him... Im at home all day with 2 wild animals, be happy we are all still in 1 piece.


I wanted to mention too that most dad's, including my H.. Seemed to not connect as much with my babies since they are usually attatched to My boob all day. Once ds1 got a little older and more interactive my H has really stepped up and they really bonded. My H and ds1 are always together playing now and watching them makes me so happy.  

sweaterboots

@mamatowildones my family lives in another state so DH & I take turns every year on who we see at Christmas! I have no plans on changing that with the baby

redheeler

lrwardrop said:

**snip**

I wanted to mention too that most dad's, including my H.. Seemed to not connect as much with my babies since they are usually attatched to My boob all day. Once ds1 got a little older and more interactive my H has really stepped up and they really bonded. My H and ds1 are always together playing now and watching them makes me so happy.  

So much this! DS1 was FF and I had severe PND so H spent much more time looking after him, as a result they bonded really well from day dot. This time around I'm EBF and not suffering from PND so I'm much happier to do the day to day mundane so H doesn't get to hold him as much and doesn't get to bond as much. As a result he seems to forget that I actually need help ocasionally so if DS2 is crying while I'm doing something else, H will just stay watching TV rather than getting up to give DS a paci or just hold him. I find I resent him much more this time around because of it too. I know he's a good dad, but it's frustrating at the beginning when they're not helping, they just assume that you can do it all.

Jens_Hoes

@mamatowildones my husband is very close with his family, so we see them a couple times a week and do holidays on and off with my family. He definitely doesn't just come to my things, I'd say I do more with his side of the family. 

And add me to the hating my husband club today. He doesn't seem to understand that what I do all day is exhausting. She legit slept on me from 3pm until he got home, and I hadn't even gotten up to do anything. He complains he's tired from work but I do all the MOTN duties alone, and obviously feed her all alone, he doesn't realize how much work it is. 

mamatowildones

Thank you ladies. That makes me feel so much better. 

And yes yes sometimes my DH can really annoy me with comments about being tired etc. but he does work insanely hard so I can stay home. I've learned to just ignore the comments.

MoshiMoshi7

@mamatowildones we see DH's family every Sunday and alternate holidays with my family. I've worried about the same thing with DS, but I think as long as you're a good MIL, your sons and daughters in law will always make an effort.

I must say, even though I mostly lurk lately, it's so nice to be on a BMB. I wasn't with my first and felt like I was completely alone in feeling resentful toward DH and overwhelmed with doing everything. We had a strong relationship and rarely fought before kids, so it was something that caught me completely off guard. I feel like this time has been better because I knew what to expect, but it's still nice to hear that it's not only me.