TTCAL week of 6/26

dpjennifer

1. Introduce yourself if you're new.
2. Status?
3. R/R?
4. GTKY: What are you currently reading? 

dpjennifer

2. Status? Benched. CD 21.

3. R/R? So the wedding went great! The cookies I made turned out awesome. I had a nice relaxing manicure (for first time in my life) and got my hair done. DH's stupid friend that we thought had a falling out with us over the bridal shower actually talked to me, was nice to me, and went out of her way to ask me questions!?! (I know, I know... I almost passed out too!) And the twat with the baby didn't bother me. 

In other news... NO idea what my body is doing right now. Ever since my last MC my BBT chart is having a weird like tri-phasic pattern. So determining when I O'd and when AF is coming is difficult. Thus, it's hard to know when we should be using protection for BD, since we're benched, and don't wanna get KU and have the doctor's on our *ss. *sigh*  Wish I knew what my stupid body and BBT were doing!?!?

4. GTKY: What are you currently reading? Listening to The Princess Diarist by Carrie Fisher on audiobooks, cause Harrison Ford is my first love. And started reading the After Cilmeri series. 

MooFish2364

@dpjennifer I'm glad the wedding went well! I'm not sure if DH and I are supposed to be benched or not. My RE told me we could have relations, just didn't say if they could be procreation relations. Lol. 

1. Not new

2. Benched? NTNP just in case we are supposed to be benched. RE mentioned being benched for 2 months if he removed a fibroid, but he didn't and never mentioned waiting. 

3. I'm kinda enjoying the NTNP route this month. I didn't think I would since I've been so focused on TTC for the last 2 years. But it's like a relief. I think it helps that I will be going to see my RE next month for a plan and he seems really positive that we will be able to get KU. I just keep telling myself that this might be our last kid free summer so we can enjoy each other and have fun doing adult things.

4. I'm currently reading Treasure Island. I love adventures, especially in the summer. I also love pirates so it's prefect. Anyone know of any other pirate adventures?

dpjennifer

@MooFish2364 LOL. I hate it when doctor's advice is specific and yet vague. Hope you figure out your relations situation. HA Can you call and get clarification?

Taking some TTA or NTNP can be very relaxing. It seems stressful going into it that you're 'wasting time.' But knowing you have a month or a few that you don't have to worry or stress is actually sorta nice.

pghren

I ended up enjoying being benched and took sone extra cycles away from TTA to focus on life without the stress of "will I be pregnant then?" 
2. Status? TWW 8dpo will likely start early testing tomorrow
3. R/R? I have a mixing bowl ful off what was supposed to be icing but ended up being more of a cupcake "glaze" that now I'm not sure what to do about. I'm not sure it can be saved, but I'm having a hard time throwing it out. 
4. GTKY: What are you currently reading? ... nothing but Math textbooks unfortunately

rklinge0

I guess I will do a formal introduction. I had a nmc right before thanksgiving, my edd was supposed to be next week. After the miscarriage, I went back on birth control and took my last pill last Friday. I wasn't benched by my obgyn but just didn't feel ready. 
Status: I assume WTO, although being on birth control messes with my cycle and honestly just waiting for my body to straighten itself out.
Rant/rave: being home during the summer is such a mixed rant and rave itself. Hubby takes this time to sleep in but doesn't think I need to sleep in. On the plus side I get to take naps on a regular basis; that was my favorite part of the weekend during the school year. 
I am not much of a book reader except for children's books. I do read articles. 

Mack2342

@dpjennifer. Glad the wedding went well and you got some well deserved pampering. 

@MooFish2364. I hope all works out with the RE and you come up with a plan

@allowachick. FX crossed for you

AFM, CD 2.  Start femara tomorrow then US on the 5th to see how many follicles and when to do IUI process. 

Rant AF arrived.  Very bummed that it showed up. We will start 3 cycle of IUI which is typically all they do so not sure where will go from there if it doesn't work. While I'd like to stay positive I also want to be realistic.  Just makes me sad 

I'm not reading anything except children's books to my almost 2 year old. 

dpjennifer

allowachick Can you add some more powdered sugar and beat the crap out of it to see if it stiffens and is salvageable? 

ladipale

1. Introduce yourself if you're new. So not new its depressing
2. Status? TWW - about 7 dpo... just trying to stay busy and stop being a crazy symptom spotter. I keep telling myself its fine if I'm not KU this time because our vacation is next week and will involve lots of yummy beer
3. R/R? Babies everywhere, pregnant people everywhere. Sad, empty uterus. just the usual, nothing specific
4. GTKY: What are you currently reading? I'm reading Into The water - its awesome! Thriller.

mdfarmchick

1. Introduce yourself if you're new.
Natural miscarriage on 2 June. 1 DS who will be 2 in August. It takes me over a year to get pregnant every time. 
2. Status?
TWW
3. R/R?
No. Just that it's Monday. 
4. GTKY: What are you currently reading? 
It's time for a new book series. I have a couple that I've been considering. Right now I'm reading Grace Not Perfection by Emily Ley. 

mdfarmchick

@ladipale I'm sorry. It is Monday. And it's always good to look forward to vacation. What kind of vacation are you doing? Beach? Mountains? Lake? Travel?

ladipale

@mdfarmchick - Mountain! We go to Central Oregon every year and its amazing!

mdfarmchick

Nice! This is my first time living anywhere in the west and Oregon is high on my list but a bit far to drive. Haha. That sounds so gorgeous. And cool. It's been over 110' here for a week so I keep trying to talk DH into San Diego or San Francisco this weekend. 

ladipale

@mdfarmchick - where are you living? I live in Bay Area but spent 10 years in Sacramento

40momma

Status CD11 so getting ready for plenty of BD
R/R Had a great weekend away camping with friends. One of the guys on our trip had a dream that I had 2 kids, weird. He doesn't know about the mc. I'll take that as a sign  
GTKY: What are you currently reading? Currently reading North of Normal, great book and crazy true story of a young girl who grew up with a very very 'liberal' family, living in teepees and living off the land. Unfortunately it's the book for this month's book club which I've been avoiding since April. We have 9 ladies in book club and 4 of them are pregnant! I'm with you @ladipale, pregnant women everywhere! 

@MooFish2364 I love that your RE said 'relations'. What a funny term to use 

pghren

@dpjennifer I added half and half and turned it into ice cream. It's very sweet and still kinda tastes like a buttercream

mdfarmchick

@ladipale Vegas. California seems to have pluses and minuses, but honestly I go wherever DH goes for the job. And Vegas isn't so bad.

acunamatada

1. Introduce yourself if you're new.
New-ish. Had what feels like a never ending EP in May-June. 

2. Status?

Super benched, got MTX two weeks ago and need to wait two cycles. I think I MAY have just gotten AF this weekend but idk what my body's doing anymore. 

3. R/R?

DF hates "protection" and this girl has NEEDS 

4. GTKY: What are you currently reading? 

I'm not much of a reader but I did just finish The Apartment a few weeks ago. I couldn't even tell you the author, I picked it up on a whim in an airport. It was just okay, I'm not very into horror novels. 

ladipale

@acunamatada - diaphragm maybe? used one between my first 2 kids. DH couldn't feel it - does take some pre planning (more than condom). but also - he should get over it... doesn't he have needs? 

acunamatada

@ladipale I was looking into that but we're hoping to TTC as soon as I get my 2nd cycle so I think it'd be a waste considering how long we'd be using it for. He's got a much lower drive than I do so he's less concerned about a dry spell.
We're going to stick with spermicide, pull out, and I'm charting. I don't have complete faith in those methtods but I figure if we do it all something will work! 

rklinge0

I used the pill. Although since having my first, I don't have regular periods on them. The whole first year, I had 0 periods. After my miscarriage, it's been every other month. 

pghren

@acunamatada Sounds like he and my DH have similar philosophies on the matter. It's pretty much how I dragged him back off the bench

SP128

@allowachick  mmmmmm ice cream. 

@dpjennifer  Glad to hear that the wedding went ok and the twat wasn't that bad.  Still maintain that twats are bad especially pregnant ones.

@ladipale  DH always wants to go to Oregon.  We use his parents' timeshare and there are never any there.  I hear it is beautiful : )

@MooFish2364  Enjoy the NTNP.  Relations? Procreations?  It rhymes.  Glad that RE is positive with a plan.  Next month is almost here : )
1. Introduce yourself if you're new.  Been hear for sooooo long.
2. Status?  3 days past egg retrieval.  Cheering my embabies along from home.  Anticipated 5 day transfer on Thursday.
3. R/R?  The bloat from all the IVF meds is unreal.  Very uncomfortable.  
4. GTKY: What are you currently reading? I'm reading the Girl with No Name.  It's dragging.  I read The Throwaway Children and it was good.  Both by Diney Costeloe

zamoraspin

@40mommaGet it girl!

@acunamatada I told MH that if we TTA this cycle we'll be using the pull-out method, lol. 

@ladipale Your R/R almost reads like a haiku. 

1. Introduce yourself if you're new. Still new-ish, mmc confirmed 6/13/17 
2. Status? Benched until my follow-up on 6/29 just to confirm all is clear. Have gone back and forth on ttc this first cycle and generally making it a bigger deal in my head than it is. Am tracking and may O before appt so may be a moot point. 
3. R/R? I missed so much work with the mmc. MH is off on 7/3 and I wish I was off too and we could have a really long weekend and do something fun, but already worried about my hours. 
4. GTKY: What are you currently reading? "It Starts with the Egg" but I need to find something NOT ttc related. I tend to listen to audio books these days, the last book I listened to was Neil deGrasse Tyson's book "Astrophysics for People in a Hurry". 

rosemaryandthyme

@ladipale  DH is a born and raised Oregonian (Portland area) so we are up there a lot, and were living there when we met/married.  Love Oregon!  Central is beautiful and I like it better than the Portland area in many ways.  We're hoping to move back up to the PNW in the next 2-3 years. I hope you have a wonderful trip!

@40momma Good luck and have fun!!  

1. Introduce yourself if you're new.  Still pretty new, recap is MC on 6/5 at 18 weeks, due to T18.  
2. Status?  4 dpo in what's now officially our one and only benched month.  I was surprised that I actually seem to have ovulated 19 days post-delivery, so assuming AF comes when expected and nothing shocking happens with it, the doc said it was fine if we wanted to start TTC next month instead of waiting a whole additional cycle because with the T18 diagnosis we have now, there's not really anything that we should be doing/waiting for additionally to prevent future MC. Both myself and DH are feeling good about TTC so soon...wheee!
3. R/R?  Not really a rant or rave, but I am attending a baby shower today.  Am I crazy?  Maybe.  But, I really do want to go...this mama's been through a lot to bring her little guy here: infertility, lengthy hospitalization both before and after a premie delivery, etc, etc, so I'm determined to go and celebrate her journey and feeling positive about it.  I just hope I don't have to endure too many, "so when are you going to have another baby??" questions from well-meaning but oblivious little old ladies...yikes.
4. GTKY: What are you currently reading? I just finished the Red Rising trilogy, and freaking loved every second of it. Like, I seriously miss the character now that the series is over. If you're at all into sci-fi, or enjoyed reading the Hunger Games (and other books like it), I super highly recommend it.

dpjennifer

@rosemaryandthyme I just downloaded the first book of the Red Rising series! So I'll probably be listening to that sometime in the next month or two.

acunamatada

@allowachick @zamora_spin We were NTNP for the longest but EBF made my cycles wonky for almost a year. The thought of TTA due to the possibility of birth defects from MTX is so nerve-racking! 

rosemaryandthyme

@dpjennifer Yes!!!  It's so good, and I love it so much that I want to evangelize everybody into reading it just so I can talk about it with more people, lol. They're in the early stages of making a movie and I'm so pumped!

jchpg

1. Not new. TTC after my first pregnancy and first loss in March. 

2. CD1. I had such high hopes this month. I mean I always do, but this month in particular. This is so hard.

DH will leave for vacation before me, from cd10-15. I will use opks again this month. Last month with my first use it said my window was CD 15-17 ish. I'm hoping we will still have a shot this month. I told him he better be ready as SOON as I get off the plane!

3. Rave- I just had an amazing experience at a scientific conference. My first time in my new field. It was great to have some new motivation to keep me going. Rant- MAJOR jet lag! I have to "get back to normal" for two weeks and then start all over again. I'm just tired and need a break. Waiting for vacation in two weeks!

4. Just scientific papers and a lot of news. I need to start reading books again I miss it.

 @dpjennifer I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed the wedding

@MooFish2364  I hope things with the RE go well and you get a new game plan. I'm debating starting to ask about initial testing to see if maybe we need some help.

@Mack2342 I'm sorry you are here too. I was rooting for you. This is just so hard.

@ladipale I understand the looking forward to good beer as a positive twist. But I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for you! 

@40momma Camping sounds fun- We used to go all the time. 

@SP128 Good luck with the transfer on Thursday! 

@rosemaryandthyme I hope you had a good time at the shower. I don't think your crazy. It can be a difficult reminder but It can also be a positive experience. I went with a friend to an ultrasound at 30 weeks just after my MC- she didn't know about my loss yet and it was still new for me. I was worried about breaking down- but it ended up giving me a lot of new hope and excitement for what is (hopefully) in my future. 

MooFish2364

@jchpg if you are debating on seeing an RE for help I would definitely make the call. We have been TTC for 2 years total now and I wish I would have gone in sooner. All of our tests came back normal and I ovulate on my own. It's been a long 6 months of testing to only just now discover that I have endo. If I would have had it removed sooner I could have maybe had a baby by now. 

dpjennifer

@jchpg just a warning that a lot of times your insurance will not cover RE testing unless you 'qualify' meaning either 2 losses, or no PG for 1 year. It sucks, but that's how insurance works. Just an FYI. If you have no problem paying for this out of pocket, then disregard the above.

Also, I know it's cliché to hear it and I HATED hearing it, but 1 MC does not necessarily mean you won't have a successful PG the next time. I know that I am not the example of that, but it is true. Over the past year and a half I've seen SO many ladies show up on this board with their 1 MC (or sometimes 2) and they're here for several months and then they get their BFP and they are gone. They don't come back because they have successful PGs. The success stories of those ladies greatly outnumber the ladies living tragedy like myself...

Also be warned that even if you end up having a 'problem' with RPL that a large percentage of us never get to find out why. I've had so many tests done and so far they really don't have a clue what my issue could be... which is depressing.

Not trying to knock you down or change your mind, I just wanted to give you some info so that you have a better idea what you could be walking into! Basically, you could have no problem and end up with a successful PG next time from doing nothing. You could have an issue that they could easily find with some testing and doing it early could save you heartbreak. Or you could have an issue that you could spend an exorbitant amount of money on that may never get diagnosed because they just don't know how to test for everything yet.

rosemaryandthyme

@jchpg RE: baby shower...I think that's a really lovely way to look at it.  It ended up going just fine for me, pleasant, even.  I did turn down the change to hold the new little baby, I just didn't feel ready for that yet, but overall I call it a win!

zamoraspin

@dpjennifer I'm so sorry not only for your losses but also the unexplained aspect. I can't really imagine how hard it has all been for you, but I also know not knowing/not having information would be very hard.

@jchpg, I agree with @dpjennifer that the majority of women who have one loss will get ku again and have no problems. Even knowing that it is weird to me that the medical protocol AL is just, hey go try again and see what happens. As others have said, there are issues that are fixable (sometimes easily - like vitamin deficiency) and it's kind of frustrating that there isn't a very basic protocol for a round of testing after a first mc to look for simple stuff that might help. 

dpjennifer

@zamora_spin Agreed with not knowing. I really wanted the testing done after 2, since 2 with no live birth seemed to indicate a problem to me, and was super frustrated to hear "Just try again." Like losing babies is no big deal. *sigh* I for one, am glad I know that there isn't a simple issue I can fix... however, not knowing what the problem is and not knowing if I'll continue to have MC or ever have a healthy baby is stressful as well. I keep wondering why I put myself through all the testing when the only thing I apparently can do is keep trying and hope for the best. It's a double-edged sword.

zamoraspin

@dpjennifer That is all beyond shitty and also so incredibly disappointing that medicine/science can't come up with a better plan for you than "Oh hey, keep trying". I agree it doesn't really feel like doctors understand what a big deal it is to go through an mc, let alone RPL. It's good that things have been ruled out for you, but the not knowing really sounds terrible, and I know for me that would be harder than having a diagnosis. 

jchpg

@rosemaryandthyme I'm glad to hear the shower went well, I'd call it a win too!

@MooFish2364, @dpjennifer, @zamora_spin these are all really good points. I know that statistically I should be fine, but for me it makes sense to at least look sooner then later if there is at least something we can catch "early." When we started TTC early last year my OB and I discussed testing if I were not pregnant by this June/July. While with my MC I was successful at, at least getting pregnant, I still wonder. Of course I know we might not be able to identify anything- BUT if we can- I'd like to know sooner then later. I do also have other heath issues, so there is a possibility that could be having an effect. I am lucky to have a specialist who works well with my OB.  

I have a few friends who have recently given birth or will soon and it took them nearly a year of trying- they tell me "at least know you can get pregnant" though I am am not sure if its better or not to have had this experience. I know they are just trying to be supportive. 

zamoraspin

@jchpg That makes complete sense to me to look into it sooner than later. I am 35 so when we started ttc I was told to try for six months and then call for a referral if we had no luck. I got ku within a few months - but one of my questions for my dr when I go in for follow-up is, does this re-start the six months, or how does that work? At my age time is very valuable. I have had folks (including my mom) tell me the same thing - "at least you know you can get pregnant!" Sometimes I find that to be comforting, sometimes I don't. I agree, people are just trying to be supportive and they don't really know what to say. 

rosemaryandthyme

@jchpg @zamora_spin True story: when we couldn't find a heart beat at 18 weeks so were sent for an ultrasound that showed baby was no longer alive, "at least you know you can get pregnant" was legit like the second thing THE ULTRASOUND TECH said to me.  I still feel so weird about that.  I get that she was attempting to say something to comfort me, but geez oh man, lady! 

Mack2342

@zamora_spin. My RE basically used the time we first started trying for our 2nd child and said I should have come to him earlier.  ****TW**** my DS was born in aug 2015.  Then we got pregnant in June 2016 and MC in august 2016. Pregnant in march 2017 and MC early April.  So RE just before I found out I was pregnant in march and he said I should have come sooner. He started the clock from when began trying for #2 which was Jan 2016.  Said I should have come after first loss due to my age.  I'm 42.  I think it varies from dr to dr though and your circumstances 

zamoraspin

Thanks for sharing @Mack2342, that is helpful info.  

dpjennifer

@zamora_spin @jchpg I hate the "At least you know you can get PG." That's really frustrating in my case, because its like "well, clearly that's not the issue for us" and makes me just want to punch people in the face. Especially when my OB was all overly optimistic back when and "just try again, just because you've had 3 losses doesn't mean anything." Like... lady... no. Just no.  I am glad I ruled things out, but sucks still being in the same situation with no answers...