PGAL Weekly Check-in 6/20-6/26

NYTino24

This thread is for women who are pregnant after a loss and who have a history of loss.

This thread is one huge trigger warning so if you just came to read, please protect yourself if you are not comfortable reading about loss.  This is a place where women can talk freely about their loss history.

*****PLEASE DO NOT post losses here. Start a new thread.*****

Hey PGAL ladies, "Today you are pregnant!"   

1. How far along are you today?

2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing.  What are your loss milestones?

3. How are you feeling today?  Struggles?  Successes?

4. How is your SO handling everything?

5. GTKY: How are you feeling about approaching or getting to the midpoint of pregnancy? Does it feel like it has flown by or taken forever?

NYTino24

1. How far along are you today? 18w5d

2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing.  What are your loss milestones?

NMC at 7w6d on 1/9. EDD was 8/21, only two months from today 

3. How are you feeling today?  Struggles?  Successes? 

I haven't cried in a few days, so that's a win. I posted the thread last week, but never replied because I was struggling a lot. The bigger I've gotten, the more strangers have asked triggering questions. I keep hearing that I'm all belly, and I think people guess I'm further along than I am. Baby has measured ahead at least a week, so it makes sense.

4. How is your SO handling everything?

He is so excited for our anatomy scan in 8 days. He kisses my belly goodbye when he goes to work. 

5. GTKY: How are you feeling about approaching or getting to the midpoint of pregnancy? Does it feel like it has flown by or taken forever?

I've been pretty busy since the second trimester started. That has helped with anxiety. Movement is becoming more and more frequent, so I am using the Doppler less and less. Sh*t is about to get real because I'm working on the nursery and scheduling pregnancy / baby classes to take this week.

lala123321567789

1. How far along are you today? 18 weeks exactly!

2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing.  What are your loss milestones?

MMC 12/20 at 12 weeks, baby only measured 8. 

3. How are you feeling today?  Struggles?  Successes? 

Good mostly. My last EDD was July 1st, so I'm not sure how I will feel then. I'm trying to think of something special to do that day, and I may do an instagram post. I think my AS is going to be extremely emotional, because it is scheduled for July 6th, so soon after my EDD. Also I am always worried before an US.

4. How is your SO handling everything?

He is amazing, he has started talking to baby and he is looking forward to being able to feel kicks. He is pretty disappointed because he has to miss our AS as he is fully booked with work. 

5. GTKY: How are you feeling about approaching or getting to the midpoint of pregnancy? Does it feel like it has flown by or taken forever?

Time has flown by. I can't believe I'm this far along and still pregnant. I'm just trying to enjoy every moment.

NYTino24

@Perfectypo If I could hug you, I would. I'll be thinking of you on your last pregnancy's EDD! 

lala123321567789

@NYTino24 I'm sorry you've been having a hard time. There are so many mixed emotions and feelings being PGAL. A lot of things can be triggering, and some days are a lot harder than others. All these feelings are normal, okay and very real. I've had a few days recently where I just had a huge cry missing my first baby. I am so thankful for this baby, and overjoyed to be expecting again. But this baby isn't a replacement. I'm still a mum of two, and I still miss my first baby and would have loved to meet him/her. You can be happy for your current baby but still sad about your loss. I feel that way a lot, and this pregnancy I see things so much differently than with my first, before the loss. Sending you lots of creepy internet hugs 

misschanandlerbong15

1.  How far along are you today? 20+6

2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing.  What are your loss milestones?mc at 6.5 weeks Oct16

3. How are you feeling today?  Struggles?  Successes? struggling today, woke up with some very light, brown spotting and it's pushed me over the edge. I keep telling myself that everything was perfect at my AS on Friday, I can feel the baby moving and I've listened to the heartbeat with my Doppler. Even with all that all I want to do today i curl up in a ball and cry 

4. How is your SO handling everything?he's great, I think he's still a little bummed we didn't find out the sex on Friday but too late now

5. GTKY: How are you feeling about approaching or getting to the midpoint of pregnancy? Does it feel like it has flown by or taken forever? on one hand I feel like it's been  really long time since I got my BFP, on the other hand I feel like each week is flying by and I can't believe tomorrow is 21 weeks

@NYTino24 and @Perfectypo I'm sorry you ladies are having a rough time.  I'll be thinking about you both and sending positive thoughts as you approach your EDDs

RiverSong15

Hugs @NYTino24 @Perfectypo and @mparm91 Thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way.

angbaby83

@NYTino24 and @Perfectypo I am sending you hugs and lots of positive thoughts your way.  I wish none of us had to experience this but am glad we are here to support each other.  I will be sending extra love your way as you get closer to your EDDs.  I made it through mine but it was tough.   Take all the time you need and feel all the feelings. 
@mparm91 Im Sorry you had spotting. Sending you hugs as well.  So many things can provoke anxiety at this point.  Glad you at least have had an appointment and have some reassurance.   I know that doesn't make the anxiety go away though.  

Bonnie Sue

1. How far along are you today?
17w5d

2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing.  What are your loss milestones?
I lost my last baby at 16w1d. Her heart stopped beating somewhere in the 12 week based on how big she was. She had Trisomy 18

3. How are you feeling today?  Struggles?  Successes?
I'm feeling great, except that I had a dream last night about a friend having a miscarriage (who isn't even currently pregnant) and that threw me off today. 

4. How is your SO handling everything?
I think he's starting to get less nervous after having the NT scan done. 

5. GTKY: How are you feeling about approaching or getting to the midpoint of pregnancy? Does it feel like it has flown by or taken forever?
it feels like it has flown by, and I'm excited to have my a/s done on Monday! 

lala123321567789

@mparm91 in so sorry about the spotting making you anxious. I'm really glad your AS scan was good and you can still feel baby and find the heartbeat, but that would still be so scary. Hugs 

@Bonnie Sue so exciting that your AS is on Monday!!!

NYTino24

@mparm91 You will get through this! How is it today?
@BonnieSue Sorry that dream threw you off.

KT&John

1. How far along are you today? 19w2d

2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing.  What are your loss milestones? CP- April 2016, MMC Sept 2016

3. How are you feeling today?  Struggles?  Successes? I've been feeling great physically. Emotionally- *TW* We got some not great/not terrible news at our anatomy scan. I shared specifics about what this means for baby in the A/S thread. I was upset in the hours after the scan and maybe a few times since but I'm somehow managing to remain mostly positive. It almost feels easier now to believe everything will be OK. 

4. How is your SO handling everything? He's doing great and always chooses to remain positive which is helping me.

5. GTKY: How are you feeling about approaching or getting to the midpoint of pregnancy? Does it feel like it has flown by or taken forever? Approaching the mid point is making me a bit nervous. It seems like it should be go time but I don't feel quite ready to get things prepared for baby yet.

KT&John

@NYTino24 and @PerfectypoThinking of you and sending you good thoughts as your EDD's approach.

@mparm91 I'm sorry the spotting happened and that it worried you. 

NYTino24

@KT&John I'm hoping your rescan looks good and there are no complications. More chances to see little one! 

MKMandeville

1. How far along are you today? 20 weeks + 3 days (measuring at 20+5).

2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing.  What are your loss milestones?

My loss milestones were very early. 
We had a early miscarriage /CP at 4+2 in August 2016
&
Ectopic pregnancy confirmed with blood work and ultrasound between 5-6 weeks in September 2016

3. How are you feeling today?  Struggles?  Successes?

I feel a lot better now after seeing her on the screen yesterday. She is measuring right on track and the doctor said everything looks perfect which has helped my anxiety come down. DH even commented on how much more at peace I seem (referring to me being too high strung about everything). 

4. How is your SO handling everything?

He is on cloud 9. He was itching for another girl and his dream came true yesterday. 

5. GTKY: How are you feeling about approaching or getting to the midpoint of pregnancy? Does it feel like it has flown by or taken forever?

When I look back at how far we have come I think it has flown by fast but when I look at how much farther we have it feels like forever. 

cwalker042

1. How far along are you today?
17+5

2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing.  What are your loss milestones?
MC at 11 weeks October 2016. Baby was measuring 7 weeks. 

3. How are you feeling today?  Struggles?  Successes?
Physically I feel great, mentally I still struggle with worry. My doppler has been reassuring me but for some reason my mind keeps reminding me that I could have a still birth. I have no idea why I would think this, but I do.

4. How is your SO handling everything?
Same as always, positive and chill. 

5. GTKY: How are you feeling about approaching or getting to the midpoint of pregnancy? Does it feel like it has flown by or taken forever?
I feel like the days are going by fast, but the weeks are going by slow, if that makes any sense. 

misschanandlerbong15

Thanks ladies, it has gotten better but hasn't 100% gone away so I'm still listening to the baby on my Doppler a lot more than I normally do just to keep myself from completely going crazy