My "the easy kid" 3 yr old (who is almost 4, mind you) has thrown tantrums -- big ones -- pretty much daily recently. I'm wondering if we might have two special needs mood kids afterall. This kid was SO easy! And well-behaved! Now she is a mess. Last night she screamed and hit people while we all had dinner because she wanted to watch an "Anna song" when we had just watched "let it go" but didn't have time for another before the start of dinner.
Someone taught my near two year old booboos need to be kissed... so anytime he has a tiny pain he's running to me to kiss it. Feet shins fingers most of the time while I'm feeding dd
@kat81 I can totally relate!!! Our 3 year old has been having tantrums galore! I know it's just a phase, but I sure hope it's over soon! I do feel like it might be getting a little bit better now that we're 5 weeks into being a family of 4!
My three year old has been amazing with her new sister- better than I could've imagined despite a couple of screaming crying meltdowns where she is inconsolable. She can't explain herself but it's obviously related to new baby sister emotions. Her reasoning between sobs when I asked her what was wrong yesterday was "what's that smell - I don't like that!"... it was a cotton pad with witch hazel I was using.
I think the hardest part about going from one kid to two has been the moments where both kids were crying and I had to choose which one to take care of first and it's those times that really tear me up inside. Overall, DD is doing well with the change and she really does adore her brother. If he cries, she runs to him and she constantly gives him kisses and offers him toys. DD has such a big heart when it comes to other children and it's truly special to see her love for DS. The hard part has been changes that have inconveniently lined up with DS being born. SIL and her BF are moving out (thank god) and they've been behaving really crappy, inviting people over who have no business being around DD which she doesn't understand because she's only 2. They went from playing with her and bringing her treats all of the time to ignoring her and then saying she's going through "the terrible twos" when she cries or acts out because she wants their attention. I can't even begin to explain how angry and hurt that makes me for her. Hopefully them being gone won't hit her too hard because I'm at a point where I want nothing to do with them and I feel like their BS has made the transition way more difficult than necessary.
@OmegaRose3 so glad to hear they're moving out. I recall some horrible stories you shared early on! To your first statement, this has happened more times than I've liked and it is totally heartbreaking. I was feeding Rowan and DS1 was having a meltdown (Right before naptime) and he was crying and reaching towards me with both hands... ... ugh... He still isn't using his own words (22 months) which makes it that much more difficult.
@mrsrep123 The worst so far has been sitting in the bathroom feeding DS while she cried because she was tired and wanted to get out of the tub. They literally both started crying at the same time and I had to pick feeding the newborn because it felt slightly more pressing. I hate those moments so much.
@OmegaRose3 it does seem like the newborn's needs are more pressing but I think it is good to choose the older kid sometimes. The newborn won't remember having to go hungry for 10 minutes once but the toddler / older kid could be upset about being neglected. I guess it's just good to trade off. I am a "newborn first" person but DH reminds me it is good to make her wait sometimes and attend to the other kid(s). Being a little bit neglected is what being the third kid is all about, afterall...but also having all of this extra love that my older kids provide constantly!
Now to contribute to the toddler thread -- I mentioned before that my 3 yr old has been having more tantrums. Another thing is that she often "gets into" things. This morning most of the books in our office were off the shelves because she woke up early and we ignored her when we tried to sleep more (granted these are kids' books and so this was not really an "offense" per se -- she was just trying to look at some books!) The bigger problem was that last week she found some baby powder in the office, which is also the room where we have a lot of baby stuff because it will eventually have to be DD#2's room (she currently shares with us). Well, DD#1 opened it up and dumped it all over the room!! Well, mainly on the floor, but all over the room. It took two massive cleanings to get it cleaned. She "helped" but mainly I had to do it (it was father's day so I wasn't going to involve DH; also this happened because I let him sleep in on father's day and ignored the older kids while I fed DD#2).
I hope that all of our older sibling kids will get it together and adjust to their new lives and behave!
@kat81 it's definitely a learning experience trying to juggle both kids...crying is hard for me, I hate letting them cry and it doesn't help that DS goes from 0 to 100 really quickly and DD isn't use to having to share my attention so it's rough. It's easier when DH is home to help, but I think if I can figure out my timing better, I can hopefully avoid having more of those moments than necessary.
@kat81 I agree, sometimes you need to pick the older child, like if all they want is a sandwich or a snack, or a movie on or something small, it's easier to deal with the toddler for a minute first. But there have been a few times I've had to let DS2 cry for a little while, while I have quelled a tantrum that has taken 10mins
Me - 22 | DH - 32 | Married - 24 May 2014 DS - January 2014
TTC#2 - December 2015
BFP - 6 March 2016 | MC Confirmed - 21 March 2016 TTCAL | April 2016 CP | June 2016 CP | July 2016
I agree with taking turns on who to tend to first, however, when DS2 's crying seems to affect DS1 more, it makes more sense to deal with DS2 first. At that point, I'm trying to distract DS1- reviewing body parts (point to your elbows?), ABCs, or counting while feeding or changing or _____ DS2.
I bought DS2 a really cool Melissa &Doug puzzle set. It has about 6 double sided puzzle boards with interchangeable geometric shapes. He can spend a good hour flipping them over and doing several puzzles in his own. I am trying to have him do more activities like that, that I can supervise more from a distance.
Anything and everything. Daily walks to the park. The other day I let him sit in the sink and play with the water and cups while I cleaned the kitchen, now he wants to do it everyday.
Lots of coloring, especially those markers that only show up on special paper or chalk outside. I set up her play space with boxes filled with wooden blocks or animals or instruments or big lego style blocks etc. so she can pull out a box, play, and knows where it goes when it's time to clean up. Books are always good for a while. Melissa and Doug has a ton of fun stuff: water wow pads, puzzles, even a cleaning set (which DD loves to do her "chores" with Mama). It's been hot so we've been playing in a little shallow pool with cups and buckets - this keeps her entertained for the longest.
Lots of coloring, especially those markers that only show up on special paper or chalk outside. I set up her play space with boxes filled with wooden blocks or animals or instruments or big lego style blocks etc. so she can pull out a box, play, and knows where it goes when it's time to clean up. Books are always good for a while. Melissa and Doug has a ton of fun stuff: water wow pads, puzzles, even a cleaning set (which DD loves to do her "chores" with Mama). It's been hot so we've been playing in a little shallow pool with cups and buckets - this keeps her entertained for the longest.
those markers are extremely intriguing to me. DD1 loves coloring but inevitably loves coloring her own skin the most. Recently she got into washable markers and that was awesome because they came off with just water. But invisible ones would be even better!
I swear by those markers. Crayola has a kit that includes invisible ink stamps and has stickers and a coloring book in a box. Big fan over here.
Crayons are also low mess so long as you teach to only color on paper. If crayons end up on the windows/walls/table/etc, Mr Clean Magic Eraser cleans it up quickly.
How are you all not saying "no" or constantly yelling/having to tell your toddlers to not do something, like touch the bottom of shoes and then their face or the garbage?
@PartiallyDomesticated it's disheartening, really. We're kind of at our wits' end... I've read to: baby proof, distract, keep following up and stay consistent, just point out the dangerous and life-threatening things. I don't know, but we're over raising our voices to where we feel like we're yelling at this poor kid all day. There's got to be a better way
@mrsrep123 we yell "no" all the time. I used to feel worse about it, but really during the toddler phase that is what needs to be done. I figure all the good moments outweigh the yelling by a lot so I can't really be scarring the kids for life.
@mrsrep123 Some days are just like that here. I try to just remove DD from the situation and offer another for of entertainment, a toy she can play with or some sort of activity like coloring. Speaking of coloring, DH and I got some new furniture so we have a giant box that I am excited to put DD in with her colors. Hopefully it'll keep her entertained because she keeps waking up DS and I could really just use an easier day.
@mrsrep123 I feel the same way. I tell my toddler no and it doesn't even phase him. I've considered time out but I read it's not very effective at this age just yet. I've tried to just go with the flow and if he's not in danger or hurting other people I just let it happen and find a way later to prevent it. Anything that I keep saying no to, I just find a way to make it disappear. All the baby stuff he keeps getting into, like the swing and rock and play now stays in my room with the door shut. He keeps taking the paper towel holder out of his play kitchen and hitting stuff, so now that's hidden as well. I get myself more frustrated by saying no all day, especially when it's ineffective.
@lrwardrop time out is very effective here - one minute per age - DD is 2 so she gets 2 minutes. We have a designated TO spot and after we talk about it and she says sorry for whatever she did (hitting is the big one). Sometimes she just needs a break not time out, so she goes to her room to cool off. We lightly use "3 strikes" sometimes too.
We use "no" a lot too, but often I try to divert her to something else. She usually just wants to be engaged and will act out for attention, so I do my best to give her my focus and include Isaac in some way.
I was saying no allll day long to my 2 year old who is way harder than my 4 year old ever was. I noticed if I say a phrase like "Bradley please don't throw your toys in the house" and then I say "Bradley what did mama just say?" He'll repeat it and then he is way less likely to do it again compared to when I just say no over and over again. It ends in way less tears and time outs.
@lrwardrop we do the same, if I have to say no to it, I will take it away. And if it makes you feel better, DS once found a metal curtain rod (only about 3ft long) and hit the Tv with it before I could get to him and shattered it. We had only just gotten it and it wasn't cheap either. I am much more relaxed in what I let him get into now though, if it's not hurting anyone/anything, he can have it for 10mins. We have issues with him moving the bar stools to climb up into the pantry though, so I may have to get rid of those, or leaving the fridge open, but they're really minor issues. My kitchen cupboards haven't been childproofed in 18months and he doesn't go into them, only the cuterly drawer to grab a spoon or fork for whatever he's eating. Most of the things he can reach are plastic and/or his though so NBD. Most of the yelling I do is about volume now, that the toy he picked it too loud or that he is being too loud while DS2 is sleeping
Me - 22 | DH - 32 | Married - 24 May 2014 DS - January 2014
TTC#2 - December 2015
BFP - 6 March 2016 | MC Confirmed - 21 March 2016 TTCAL | April 2016 CP | June 2016 CP | July 2016
mrsrep123
member
Re: The Great Big TODDLER Thread
Overall, DD is doing well with the change and she really does adore her brother. If he cries, she runs to him and she constantly gives him kisses and offers him toys. DD has such a big heart when it comes to other children and it's truly special to see her love for DS.
The hard part has been changes that have inconveniently lined up with DS being born. SIL and her BF are moving out (thank god) and they've been behaving really crappy, inviting people over who have no business being around DD which she doesn't understand because she's only 2. They went from playing with her and bringing her treats all of the time to ignoring her and then saying she's going through "the terrible twos" when she cries or acts out because she wants their attention. I can't even begin to explain how angry and hurt that makes me for her. Hopefully them being gone won't hit her too hard because I'm at a point where I want nothing to do with them and I feel like their BS has made the transition way more difficult than necessary.
DS1 7/24/15
DS2 5/7/17
Now to contribute to the toddler thread -- I mentioned before that my 3 yr old has been having more tantrums. Another thing is that she often "gets into" things. This morning most of the books in our office were off the shelves because she woke up early and we ignored her when we tried to sleep more (granted these are kids' books and so this was not really an "offense" per se -- she was just trying to look at some books!) The bigger problem was that last week she found some baby powder in the office, which is also the room where we have a lot of baby stuff because it will eventually have to be DD#2's room (she currently shares with us). Well, DD#1 opened it up and dumped it all over the room!! Well, mainly on the floor, but all over the room. It took two massive cleanings to get it cleaned. She "helped" but mainly I had to do it (it was father's day so I wasn't going to involve DH; also this happened because I let him sleep in on father's day and ignored the older kids while I fed DD#2).
I hope that all of our older sibling kids will get it together and adjust to their new lives and behave!
DS - January 2014
TTCAL | April 2016
CP | June 2016
CP | July 2016
DS1 7/24/15
DS2 5/7/17
DS1 7/24/15
DS2 5/7/17
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
DS1 7/24/15
DS2 5/7/17
I set up her play space with boxes filled with wooden blocks or animals or instruments or big lego style blocks etc. so she can pull out a box, play, and knows where it goes when it's time to clean up.
Books are always good for a while.
Melissa and Doug has a ton of fun stuff: water wow pads, puzzles, even a cleaning set (which DD loves to do her "chores" with Mama).
It's been hot so we've been playing in a little shallow pool with cups and buckets - this keeps her entertained for the longest.
Crayons are also low mess so long as you teach to only color on paper. If crayons end up on the windows/walls/table/etc, Mr Clean Magic Eraser cleans it up quickly.
Wow I sound like an advertisement.. sorry guys
I will just leave this here.. mmk
DS - January 2014
TTCAL | April 2016
CP | June 2016
CP | July 2016
DS1 7/24/15
DS2 5/7/17
DS - January 2014
TTCAL | April 2016
CP | June 2016
CP | July 2016
DS1 7/24/15
DS2 5/7/17
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
Speaking of coloring, DH and I got some new furniture so we have a giant box that I am excited to put DD in with her colors. Hopefully it'll keep her entertained because she keeps waking up DS and I could really just use an easier day.
@lrwardrop time out is very effective here - one minute per age - DD is 2 so she gets 2 minutes. We have a designated TO spot and after we talk about it and she says sorry for whatever she did (hitting is the big one). Sometimes she just needs a break not time out, so she goes to her room to cool off. We lightly use "3 strikes" sometimes too.
We use "no" a lot too, but often I try to divert her to something else. She usually just wants to be engaged and will act out for attention, so I do my best to give her my focus and include Isaac in some way.
I am much more relaxed in what I let him get into now though, if it's not hurting anyone/anything, he can have it for 10mins. We have issues with him moving the bar stools to climb up into the pantry though, so I may have to get rid of those, or leaving the fridge open, but they're really minor issues. My kitchen cupboards haven't been childproofed in 18months and he doesn't go into them, only the cuterly drawer to grab a spoon or fork for whatever he's eating. Most of the things he can reach are plastic and/or his though so NBD.
Most of the yelling I do is about volume now, that the toy he picked it too loud or that he is being too loud while DS2 is sleeping
DS - January 2014
TTCAL | April 2016
CP | June 2016
CP | July 2016