Girl Moms

ArtificialRed

Can we have a similar discussion as our other thread but for raising girls? This feels so foreign to me!

mariposa_767s

I'm going to be scared if I end up having a girl.  The hormones of my 17 yr old step daughter are no joke!  2 more days and I'll know...2 more days...

av2323

Following!  I know NOTHING about raising girls.

MaximumEffort

I have a 5 year old DD. I'm not sure what's different with girls. She's a princess dress wearing, tractor driving little girl.  I guess what got me when she was little was worrying she would get poo or pee in her vagina, turns out it's not much of an issue. Boys pee up a diaper, girls pee towards the back I found Luvs to be best after pampers while boy mom's likes huggies for theirs.  

zigzag8412

I have a daughter, and granted, I started with her at 2 months shy of 5 years old, but girls are fun!  Don't be intimidated by gender, just invite them to join the things you enjoy and listen to the thing they enjoy (as they start getting old enough to tell you) then you join them sometimes too and take turns.  I am NOT a girly girl.  DD is.  So we paint nails and attempt hair styles she has play (fake) makeup and dress up clothes.  She also enjoys her baby dolls and gymnastics.  We go to the library and parks and run errands and do laundry and dishes together.   Each person is different, work on getting to know them and worry less about knowing their "gender."  Trust me,  when it matters to them, they'll tell you what they like!  Also, if you're concerned because you didn't have a strong female role model, remember this: You didn't have that and you still turned out as awesome as you are!  As long as you're present and trying, they'll have the best mom ever.  Life is the process of learning and growing.  We don't stop that when we become parents.  We are not realistically expected to know everything.  It's ok to admit you're learning this role, you're learning this kid.  When you realize you're learning, making mistakes is less intimidating and when they happen, easier to forgive (especially when you need to forgive yourself).  Girls are different than boys (and I don't have boys and only have brothers by marriage so I'm more "scared" of boys) but they're all your kids, and they're all your family.  And your family is beautiful!  You got this mom!  Anything specific you're worried about?  I haven't gotten to teenage hormones yet (and I'm not looking forwards to that)...

JDW0325

I was just about to start this myself. I know so much about having a boy but clueless about a girl!

MaximumEffort

She was still a rough and tumble ball of energy. I didn't give a pet name to her lady parts because it some point she would say her bottom hurts but it was her vagina. When she is a toddler Do Not freak out if she starts touching herself, toddler masturbation is a thing and completely normal. There will be many times that you'll be caught off guard with what you're explaining to a little kid. Don't complaint about your weight or looks in front of her, she will learn that behavior and it'll break your heart. 

ArtificialRed

@MaximumEffort I am now doubting all the huggies I added to my registry... I just assumed that as long as they didn't give her a rash, I'd like them as much as I liked them with DS. 

MaximumEffort

@ArtificialRed I started with pampers with DD and then tried out both huggies and luvs. I had friends with both boys and girls as well as the baby group I was in, it was the consensus that huggies worked best for boys and pampers for girls but luvs is the same as pampers. . I never registered for diapers. 

ShePersisted

One more for no clue on what to do with a girl but honestly when I had my boy I did not know then either what to expect and I figured it out. I think having a girl is so much more exciting because I am one, I know what A woman has to deal with growing up, the way the world can be harder and ways it can be easier. I'm keeping all my fears of unknown aside and I'm gettting excited. Matching head bands? Tomboy overalls? No problem Bring it on!!! 

ineedsixeggs

My daughter is only 18 months old, so I don't have a huge wealth of advice to give.

I never saw myself as a girl mom before her, because I'm not that girly myself. And that's okay. My daughter is totally her own person. Her love of shoes and jewelry was definitely not inherited or taught. But she also loves ninja turtles and baseball and getting dirty. She is full of energy and only recently started enjoying cuddles. 

Girls can totally pee on you during diaper changes too. So just be ready. 

There may be some discharge for a few days after birth. Don't worry, it's all from mom's hormones and will pass. 

Wipe from front to back and don't neglect the folds and crevices. 

zigzag8412

MaximumEffort said:

She was still a rough and tumble ball of energy. I didn't give a pet name to her lady parts because it some point she would say her bottom hurts but it was her vagina. When she is a toddler Do Not freak out if she starts touching herself, toddler masturbation is a thing and completely normal. There will be many times that you'll be caught off guard with what you're explaining to a little kid. Don't complaint about your weight or looks in front of her, she will learn that behavior and it'll break your heart. 

DD did this too.  Teaching the right names has been a bit of an ordeal.  Especially since now that she knows the proper names, she thinks it's funny to tell me her Barbie was "itching"/"scratching" her vagina.  Toddler masturbation was a rude awakening when I worked at DHS/CPS but it is a thing.  We do tell DD to keep her hands out of her vagina because we don't want her to scratch it and hurt herself and it makes our hands dirty.  But we also try not to make a big deal out of it.  My personal struggle has been teaching the appropriate settings to discuss her vagina in.  (If it hurts or if somebody who isn't her touches her there but not as a play story or joke.)  Kids are kids.  They rarely have modesty naturally and love to get a reaction.  I've had more intense conversations re life, death, and private parts than I ever expected a 5 year old to connect.  And do be careful about criticism in front of them.  I wasn't at first and when it came out of her mouth I about stopped dead in my tracks.  I'm much more careful now.

kissthesky32

I have one of each. I've found that raising DD and DS has been remarkably similar. My DD is more energetic and crazy than my calm and snuggly DS.

I try around both kids, but especially DD, to not criticize my or other's bodies and to be confident in myself and what I'm doing. To both kids, I make a big deal out of them being able to do/try/learn whatever they want - nothing is specific to a boy or a girl in our family.

Honestly, maybe my kids just aren't old enough (4 and 2) to have learned social differences, but so far life has been pretty much the same for and with both of them.

Oooo - my one difference: DS has definitely been more into hitting than DD ever was. But, I don't know if that's because he's a boy or because there is a little boy in his daycare class that hits everyone all the time and he learned it from him.

Bonnie Sue

@ArtificialRed I actually prefer huggies for my girl, and used pampers with my boy. I feel like huggies is thicker, softer and better quality than pampers. 

Bonnie Sue

I have a girl and two boys and I love how different my girl is than the boys. She is so sweet and a tiny bit more calm, lol. 

ArtificialRed

Bonnie Sue said:

@ArtificialRed I actually prefer huggies for my girl, and used pampers with my boy. I feel like huggies is thicker, softer and better quality than pampers. 

Good to know. I didn't actually have much of a fit preference between the two so much as I also thought the huggies were thicker and softer. Plus pampers have a really distinctive smell. Not bad, per se (I know both kinds have chemicals in them) but stronger regardless. Eventually I'm sure we'll switch to the costco brand anyway. I believe they're made by huggies and most similar to them. And with DS we eventually got to even cheaper diapers (store brand or Luvs depending on coupons or sales) because it's sort of frustrating after four years to still be buying diapers. 

baby3forme

I have a 5 year old girl and a 1 1/2 year old girl plus this little one is a girl! They are FUN and easy IMO. I've also never gotten peed on.  I agree with @MaximumEffort, Luvs all the way!!! 

RiverSong15

I also need this thread - I don't know anything about raising kids, but a girl makes me a little nervous because I have/had such a bad relationship with my mom.

Airynn Chica

I have 2 DDs. They play dress up and watch princess shows(this is new), draw/crafts, jump in mud puddles, jump off way too high things and like to help outside with the yard/garden/chickens. 

kwaldy

ArtificialRed said:

@MaximumEffort I am now doubting all the huggies I added to my registry... I just assumed that as long as they didn't give her a rash, I'd like them as much as I liked them with DS. 

I've literally only ever used Huggies on DD. 

NYTino24

I am one of 5 girls and our dad was always working, so we were mostly raised by my mom, but we all have our own personalities and some of us are "girly" while others are "tomboyish" and everything in between. I have taught, coached, summer camped (made that up), and babysat thousands of girls and boys. I'd say its 50% nature and 50% nurture, including what they are exposed to outside home. Whatever you do, don't ever tell a girl she does anything "like a girl / boy" or that she can / can't do anything because she's a girl or boy. Emphasize what's inside instead of outside and to accept others.

c+mpeachey

 lurking. 

I've got a girl already...... but 2 girls?! Oy vay

mommawolff11

I think my biggest fear with a girl is that I'll be too excited for ribbons and bows and dresses and such that I will end up going overboard and turn her off to anything remotely girly, which would break my heart a little after years of wanting to have a daughter (I know this fear may seem a little weird, but its there non-the-less). I have a little sister who is 7 years younger and I was so excited to have a sister after 2 brothers that I was constantly playing dress-up with her and feel like it may be why to this day she has only worn a dress once in her adult life (when I made her for my wedding) and I don't want something similar to happen with my daughter. Is it just a matter of not forcing it once they can voice an opinion or do other girl moms have other advise?

kissthesky32

@mommawolff11 When she's tiny, dress her however you want! Once she has opinions, listen to them and let her find her own style. My daughter chooses her outfits every day and every day I tell her she did a good job and that I like it.

AmberG34

Just please please please want to be a ballerina!! Lmao!! I have a 2.5yr old son and I've always saw myself as a Mom of boys. When I found out it was a girl I was happy but felt kinda weird. I didn't have the best relationships with my sisters/Mom growing up always got along with my brothers better. But I always thought to myself if I had a daughter I want her to be a ballerina and love the color purple! 

Her Dad wants her to do sports like everyone in his and mine family. I'm not sporty at all! Ugh, please let us have things in common don't leave me for your Dad!! Lol

ChattyKitty17

I wanted to be a girl mom so bad with my first and got that chance! I learned quickly I had no idea what I was doing, but so far I have just followed her lead.... she loves to dance so we put her in dance which I know nothing about.... she loves to sing and play superheroes and cook and play in the dirt and dress in princess clothes and go fishing with daddy! The thing I feel is most important is to watch and listen, they will let you know what the like and what they need.  Every child is different.

littlemissc17

@mommawolff11 I totally second everything that @kissthesky32 said. My oldest DD stopped letting me dress her when she was 4. She doesn't like wearing dresses, but she has her own style and is confident in what she wears and how she looks. Even though it's disappointing that she won't let me influence her style at all, it means the world to me that she's confident in who she is. 

peacedancelove

Is it sad that I'm the opposite? lol. I have a daughter and she's my wild rose and is very unique and kind of a tomboy. I am terrified for a boy because I have no idea where to even begin! I can't imagine it would be that different right? I am guessing raising them has got to be similar. ...at least I hope! lol.

asamapmaker

Hoping my girl will be a little more easygoing than her brother. And hopefully not as bossy as other little girls we know. 

MississippiCatfish

Girl moms, any headband purchasing advice? There are so many adorable options, but I'm worried I'll order something not knowing that a STM of a girl would say, "oh yeah, that will fall off her head." Or "that kind irritates their skin." Or something like that? I just don't want to go crazy on Etsy without being able to return things. 

baby3forme

@MississippiCatfish No idea because I'm always afraid to put anything on babies head. My kids both had a tonnn of hair at birth and I didn't want to risk it rubbing off in just the bow area. I'm weird but something to consider, I guess. 

ineedsixeggs

@MississippiCatfish I love knotted cloth headbands. They seem super comfy and they're not overwhelmingly girly IMO. 

I bought this pack for my daughter. They didn't fit until around 4 months but then she wore them all the time and still can. 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0179ZPMX8/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?ie=UTF8&qid=1499374194&sr=8-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=baby+knotted+headbands 

MississippiCatfish

ooodalollly said:

@MississippiCatfish I love knotted cloth headbands. They seem super comfy and they're not overwhelmingly girly IMO. 

I bought this pack for my daughter. They didn't fit until around 4 months but then she wore them all the time and still can. 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0179ZPMX8/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?ie=UTF8&qid=1499374194&sr=8-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=baby+knotted+headbands 

Those patterns are super cute!

dragonfly87-2

I go here now. Still adjusting to the thought of a baby girl. But while visiting daycares today, I saw some cute little girls and it got me more excited.

I am looking forward to teaching my daughter to be a smart, independent and courageous young woman. Our world isn't always kind to women, but I want her to be confident in who she is.

ariasbabyblog

I'm 20 weeks today and still struggling with the thought of having a girl. I have boys! I'm a boy mom! The thought of having a little girl kinda fills me with panic. I have some little girl things hanging up in our bedroom and we use female pronouns, but I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around "we are having a girl, a girl is coming into our house".

RiverSong15

I've found that saying "we're having a daughter" has been more helpful for me in bonding with the baby than "we're having a girl". Somehow, "daughter" is more personal, and has a greater sense of "belonging" to our family than "girl". I'm nervous about having a girl because of my own relationship with my mother, but I'm trying to think of all the fun and wonderful things to do with her. I'm not overly girly myself, and who knows what my daughter will be like, but I'm getting more excited to help mould her into a confident, independent, courageous person. The world needs more women like that. 

MississippiCatfish

@RiverSong15 I'm having a really hard time saying "daughter."  I've actually only said it to myself in the bathroom mirror. I definitely see what you mean. 

maegpie

@MississippiCatfish I would order a few different kinds for now. DD had minimal hair so clips didn't work and she pulled every single headband off until around 6months. Even now at 4 1/2 she has to be in the mood to wear one and it doesn't stay on for more than an hour.

SeekingSmall

I have 3 girls and absolutely love being a mama to them! They are all 3 super girly but very adventurous. Princess dresses and trying to climb trees and jump in mud puddles. The most important thing is just to not let your expectations of who they might be dictate who they are. I bought a ton of headbands for my first, and she would have none of that. They'd get ripped off as soon as I got a pic. My twins on the other hand are the accessory queens and it's rare for them to not have a headband or hat and sunglasses and necklaces, etc, etc. 

Logistically you'll probably get peed on. It will spray into the air as much as a boy (that was shocking), especially during the winter when the cold air hits them. And bubble baths are usually unwise as the soap can irritate their vulvas. Even the organic stuff. 

maegpie

+1 to the bubble baths are a bad idea. DD was able to start bubble baths at the age of 3 but the only kind we found that did not irritate her body was the aveeno brand. If you are looking for a soothing night time bath try to find something that does not have bubbles or just use lavender lotion after bath.

dragonfly87-2

Ok....full disclosure this is a pointless gushing over DH post. I was really worried DH might be disappointed about having a girl, since he really wanted a boy. Admittedly, I think I am struggling a little more than him with it, but I am starting to get excited.

Anyway, I made a comment to him about needing to start to look into names soon. He responded right away with, "I found one I like." I said, "No way, we just found out yesterday it's a girl and you take forever with things like this." 

He then smiled and said, "I really like Zoey." My heart melted...and I am so not an emotional person most of the time. I am not sold on Zoey yet (personally, I really like Riley), but I am excited he has put in the thought to find one he likes.