Weekly B-Fest (6/20)

feeislove

I noticed we didn't have one of these for this week so here we go. 

My current B-fest is how much of a glutton my husband is. We had enough cereal left to serve a good 2-3 bowls. DH who is on a "diet" decides AT TEN O' CLOCK AT NIGHT he's going to have cereal. He eats it. All. By himself. Serves himself three times. I was GOING to have cereal for breakfast tomorrow before we leave for Atlanta because I have a feeling he's not going to want to stop for breakfast on the way and I'm not the type to skip breakfast. I get hangry. And now I don't know what I'm going to eat because we're down to barely anything since this week is grocery week. The last time I went to the grocery store I bought TWO bags of cookies. One of which was a family size. They lasted all of 4 days. 4 DAYS Y'ALL. Did I have some? Yes. But I'm not the reason why both bags were gone in 4 days. I know this is stupid but its really grinds my gears when I buy enough food to last for two weeks (we do groceries bi-weekly) and certain things are gone within days. Especially considering ONE OF US is supposed to be on a diet. 

curlyq423

I go back to work tomorrow after nearly two weeks off.

aprilsarahjune

@feeislove Bummer to the lost cereal and cookies I know in my house, though, for one person to successfully eat a healthy diet, all members have to commit to it and we just can't keep the temptations in the house.  So, I feel for you and am with you at rolling your eyes at DH for his thoughtless over-indulgence, but from experience, I don't think anything will change for him unless the cereal and cookies are never purchased in the first place.  Human nature.

BF: It's only Tuesday??!!! I still have 3 1/2 days of this office sh*t.

feeislove

@aprilsarahjune I know that's the logical thing to do. BUT since I'm pregnant and I want these things I'll just have to hide them from him. I am not even sorry about it 

aprilsarahjune

feeislove said:

@aprilsarahjune I know that's the logical thing to do. BUT since I'm pregnant and I want these things I'll just have to hide them from him. I am not even sorry about it 

Pregnant me (who was just told (politely) by my ob yesterday that my weight gain was more than he expected) says, "Yes.  Buy it and hide it."

yasandson

I feel for you @feeislove just like i feel for my husband, because pregnant or not : im the glutton in the house. The family size pack of tostitos and its salsa disappear in an evening. Family size cookie box, same. I ate a box of 24 bags of popcorn within a week and a half. Costcos Box of 30 frozen croissants... H will probably get to eat 5-6 of them. 
So yes i feel for all of you victims of gluttons... But then again, my stomach over everything ❤️ mouhahaha 

@curlyq423 hope you enjoyed your vaca!
@aprilsarahjune my ob said the same. When i gave her the evil look, she added "well you know its not bad per say, just will be difficult for you to lose after". Really woman? 

KAK37

Super B***fest over here! I'm so sick of working for people who don't believe you when you say you are coming back after maternity leave

natleilynn

@KAK37 that was the first thing I said when I told everyone I was pregnant. But our last director went out on maternity and never came back so I guess it happens more than we think! 

jessafishy

I'm sick of my mom making passive aggressive comments about how long it's been since she's seen DS. You are right, we haven't driven 3+ hours to see you since March. You also haven't driven 3+ hours to see us either. So shut up.

tsa208

MIL badgered us into going out to dinner last night - tried to get out of it, but she said she'd drive to us (1 hour away) and would treat us to dinner, so sure, I'm tired and she drives me up the wall but why not. After dinner, she kind of balked at having to get the bill. I was super annoyed because we're trying to conserve money (you know, baby on the way + me taking unpaid leave) and in her text she said, "Can I treat you to dinner?"

So then, walking around downtown, she points to one of the more expensive restaurants in the city and asks since she treated us to dinner (because obviously it still burns her that she paid), would we treat her and her BF to dinner there. Granted, I really don't think she knows how expensive it is, but she just has an incredible intuition for being annoying. She really just thinks we don't take her out as much as a doting son should.

KAK37

I know it does I've seen it happen too. I'm a very honest person. One who is honest to a fault and too me it questions my honesty and integrity.

I mean shoot we are having babies. Ita not a new thing.

natleilynn

tsa208 said:

MIL badgered us into going out to dinner last night - tried to get out of it, but she said she'd drive to us (1 hour away) and would treat us to dinner, so sure, I'm tired and she drives me up the wall but why not. After dinner, she kind of balked at having to get the bill. I was super annoyed because we're trying to conserve money (you know, baby on the way + me taking unpaid leave) and in her text she said, "Can I treat you to dinner?"

So then, walking around downtown, she points to one of the more expensive restaurants in the city and asks since she treated us to dinner (because obviously it still burns her that she paid), would we treat her and her BF to dinner there. Granted, I really don't think she knows how expensive it is, but she just has an incredible intuition for being annoying. She really just thinks we don't take her out as much as a doting son should.

Wait, I was not under the impression that children were obligated to ever take their parents out to dinner. Yeah, it's a nice enough gesture, but my parents are MORE than happy to just have a potluck at my house. 

Then again, DH's parents would much prefer to go out to restaurants, but a) they always pay and b) after this baby comes + when BIL & SIL start to have babies, I think we're all going to be about done with family dinners at actual restaurants for awhile.

yasandson

@KAK37 i dont think its a matter of honesty. Im pretty sure a lot of women really had planned on coming back from maternity leave... But then life happened and they just couldnt. 
@jessafishy those comments would make me go insane. 
@natleilynn / @tsa208  you re right it def shouldnt be an obligation. 

*inside joke : missed our loudmouths* ❤️❤️

Edited to add tag

tsa208

natleilynn said:

tsa208 said:

MIL badgered us into going out to dinner last night - tried to get out of it, but she said she'd drive to us (1 hour away) and would treat us to dinner, so sure, I'm tired and she drives me up the wall but why not. After dinner, she kind of balked at having to get the bill. I was super annoyed because we're trying to conserve money (you know, baby on the way + me taking unpaid leave) and in her text she said, "Can I treat you to dinner?"

So then, walking around downtown, she points to one of the more expensive restaurants in the city and asks since she treated us to dinner (because obviously it still burns her that she paid), would we treat her and her BF to dinner there. Granted, I really don't think she knows how expensive it is, but she just has an incredible intuition for being annoying. She really just thinks we don't take her out as much as a doting son should.

Wait, I was not under the impression that children were obligated to ever take their parents out to dinner. Yeah, it's a nice enough gesture, but my parents are MORE than happy to just have a potluck at my house. 

Then again, DH's parents would much prefer to go out to restaurants, but a) they always pay and b) after this baby comes + when BIL & SIL start to have babies, I think we're all going to be about done with family dinners at actual restaurants for awhile.

She was just raised a whole different way - very deferential to her parents. I mean, we do the normal stuff - celebrate her on birthdays, Mother's Day, spend time at Christmas or family hangouts but we don't treat her like the family matriarch like how I think she treated her mother and it bothers her, as I think she thinks it's "her turn." At some point, your relationship with your parents matures and moves more toward peers, which is great because it's a whole new aspect of your relationship. But she still sees DH (and sees me) as kids for some reason so that relationship hasn't made that turn like it has with his dad. I'm like, We're mid-30s, have a mortgage, careers, a baby on the way, We're pretty grown, lady.

All morning long, I'm like "Don't take it out on DH. Don't take it out on DH. Don't take it out on DH." And then I text him, "Didn't realize last night's dinner was going to be a quid pro quo." Gah, couldn't help myself. 

natleilynn

@tsa208 oh I totally feel you there - DH and I have been together almost 14 years and I still feel like my in law's look at us like these little kids that are in high school making googly eyes at each other. At what point am I the wife???

aprilsarahjune

@KAK37 That is such a tough one.  After my second pregnancy (third child), my bosses directly offered me a part-time option and I think it was out of fear that I was just going to quit after a short time back or not come back at all.  I have come back after 8 weeks with all my pregnancies because this is my career that I have worked hard at and my family relies on me for financial support.  Experience tells employers that some women will either change their minds during their maternity leave and just not come back or that some women are just not disclosing their plans to stay at home after maternity leave.  This is in part due to US laws (both the ones that we have and the ones that we don't) and the corporate/HR policies that come into play in an attempt to comply with those laws.  Want to maintain employer-paid insurance coverage for your delivery, post-partum, and pediatric care? You can't quit, unless you can afford to pay 102% of the premiums through a COBRA program.  Have partial or fully paid maternity leave?  You can't "quit" before your leave; you have to go on maternity leave with the intent of coming back to receive those checks.  So, sometimes women are forced to manipulate the system in order to get the bear minimum for their families.  A lot of HR policies state that you will have to pay back any maternity or medical leave benefits if you are physically able to return but choose not to, but in reality, most people ignore that threat (or don't read the policy to even know it exists) and the employers rarely enforce it, except maybe out of a last paycheck. 

And I am a person who has been super annoyed by the precedent that other women have set by simply "not returning" after maternity leave.  That precedent has made it harder for women of childbearing age to find employment because employers look at their past experience with women not returning and in turn discretely discriminate against women in hiring and promotions, especially when the employers have spent a lot of money training and providing benefits for young female employees for the women in turn to stay home after kids.  Employers, large and small, know that they have a greater risk of losing their investment in their employees when they hire women.  It is a real risk and economic loss.  I hate that precedent and struggle from both the female employee's and the employer's perspectives.  But it is not entirely the fault of either side when you understand the employment laws and cultural norms silently manipulating them. 

I am not sure how to respect women's choice to stay at home and provide fair employment opportunities to women who continue to work, but I share your frustration.