Private FB group

mzlildncr

Has anyone created a private (invite only) FB group for us due in Feb 2018?

katekate628

Id love an invite if someone does @mzlildncr

SunflowerMama428

I think we were waiting til later to weed out the crazies 

eggplantface

SunflowerMama428 said:

I think we were waiting til later to weed out the crazies 

Really nothing is stopping OP from creating a group and inviting people to join, but the smart money is on waiting until much later. Stranger danger and all.

julievdm12

 Most of the BMB's that I've been a part of don't start a Facebook group until the due date month. 

julievdm12

and by "most" I actually just mean "all" lol I've only been a part of 2.... 

azmamatobe

I'm in a Jan18 Group o FB (my due date for now is Jan 31) and have no fears really.

TattoosandLace

Wayyyyyyyyy too early for that. 

mrsgunsta

Yeah...I'll wait. 

soulcupcake

I've been part of over a dozen DDC/BMB over the years, and quite a few moved to FB, eventually, usually way later in the pregnancy or after the babies are born.

barrelocarol

I'm up for it! I formed wonderful friendships during my first pregnancy.  These women were from The Bump and located around the world, but I was so appreciative of the support and felt so grateful to have found them. 

RSaini

I would love to join if one opens up later  

TattoosandLace

I'm a year out from my last BMB. We've had our FB group for a year and just weeded out a crazy last month... 

Ashoes123

I'm dying to hear about these crazies you speak of.  Any examples you can provide? I'd like to get a sense of what to potentially expect.

eggplantface

Who's got the link to the July 14 catfish??

meatballs37

@TattoosandLace a year later on fb and still had crazies?! Whoa! How many were in the group before that out of curiosity? Our aug 16 fb group is pretty mellow. 

the_other_mother

@meatball37 I've always thought it would be kind of exciting to have a crazy exposed in the group. Haha. (Definitely not like the example where someone asked for things and they were given to them though.) 

sabriel1

Ashoes123 said:

I'm dying to hear about these crazies you speak of.  Any examples you can provide? I'd like to get a sense of what to potentially expect.

*Stuck in the box*

We had one who pretended to be a vet and would answer all these related questions and was super active. I can't remember how it all came out but she wasn't really a vet at all and she worked for some kind of government agency. It was weird af

meatballs37

We had a few on our last BMB that I suspected of cat fishing. But none of those people joined our fb group. Strange...

NYTino24

*lurking from Nov* Heyyyy @eggplantface! 

Here ya go!
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12463790/possible-catfish-on-july-bmb-update-in-op/p1

eggplantface

Yay!!!! @NYTino24 thank you!! 

You guys (A17) had that person who had two usernames and posted on both your board and S17 with different due dates, right? Did anything ever come of that?

NYTino24

@eggplantface Yeah, and now I can't remember who it was!!! (I only lurk August when summoned back since my loss.) 

eggplantface

@NYTino24 Eek I'm sorry!! 

NYTino24

@eggplantface it's okay! My November baby is doing very well! 

Ashoes123

Thanks @NYTino24 I just spent wayyy too much time reading that  whole original thread from the Jul2014 group. Holy fuck. Good lesson for all of us. 

Chawk17

Ok now I've got to sit and read. WHY catfish in a bmb group lol

justme04

CAdreamin13 said:

Okay, I just talked with another Mom from my old BMB because I couldn't remember exactly how the chaos went! Not sure if anyone remembers, but we had a regular who collected donations for another Mom and then spent it herself. We think that's how it went anyway. She was busted, but it made for a lot of angry people who gave out of the goodness of their hearts. You just never know. I sometimes wonder if these crazies are the same people and come back and pull new shenanigans.. 

On our June 2011 facebook group  (we moved after babies were born and felt we knew each other better) about a year to a year and a half ago we had one of those. Someone who stole collected money and then seemed to be buying herself a lot of nice things and flaunting them on her both her facebook page and the groups.  Shortly after that instance there was a woman who would cause all sorts of drama them get butt hurt and deactivate her Facebook account for a month and come back like nothing ever happened....there is actually a lot more back story with her but I can't remember it all mostly timelines of hers kept changing. The last time she deactivated the group took a vote and overwhelmingly decided to vote her off the island because things didn't add up and they were tired of her crazy flair ups on topics she would bring up and then alleged be victimized over leading to her month of Facebook deactivation. If I remember correctly because I wasn't even actually online for the last flair up it was over redshirting for kindergarten and from what I heard no one was even mean....just most people didn't plan to hold their kids back. Just stated their choice and why. No one went on the attack but this particular woman.  The kicker was later when booted woman started sending several of us friend requests even though most of us have our Facebook profiles on lockdown and our pages are hard to find without exact, specific information. I know people always give up trying to find me and just ask me to search for them.

ladybug0088

I was in October 2014 (my DD came ended up coming in September) but all of this had just gone on with August and the FB drama was unreal. We had a few crazies on our FB group so it eventually split into two groups! 

I'd rather wait....awhile....haha

mbirdie

Made the July drama my late night read last night and holy. Was enough to make me change my username from including my first name!

lainikins

I do not remember the specifics, but in June '12 there was a women who collected funds for some donation. She ended up keeping them all for herself and told people she donated it. I could completely wrong with this, I had a newborn when it was all happening, but it was someone who was very active in the group and it was a huge fiasco. I am all for a Facebook group, but not yet. I want to get to know people (as best I can) first. 

hullabalou

Just spent way too much time reading that J14 thread. Whoa.

TattoosandLace

mbirdie said:

Made the July drama my late night read last night and holy. Was enough to make me change my username from including my first name!

*stuck in box*

I'm glad you changed your SN to not include your name. 

soulcupcake

Ashoes123 said:

I'm dying to hear about these crazies you speak of.  Any examples you can provide? I'd like to get a sense of what to potentially expect.

I've been part of several groups where at least one person faked their pregnancy/identity/baby, and several others who faked illnesses, life problems, relationship problems, etc., and conned well meaning members into giving them money or sending them things. Sometimes there were just members that caused drama. I was friends with one member who created drama and took advantage of other people's generosity and then bounced when she was called out. And that was when our littles were over a year old. It's really not uncommon. I've seen it happen on every forum, sadly. Before TB bought out BF.com, where I used to be very active, there was a longtime, 10+ year member, who lied about everything. Her entire "life" was a fraud, and she built close friendships for many years. It was a huge fallout and really sucked for many people. I've been burned by several people who turned out to be lying liars and shady-ass people. They know how to spin elaborate lies and manipulate people.

So some folks are less keen on sharing too much and getting too close very early on.

bananaalice

So, is there a group, or should we make one? I was in a january 18th group because I thought I was pregnant last month, and was actually very sad to leave it, a lot of sweet people and good topics.

NYTino24

@eggplantface Here is the August catfish thread.
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/89995516#Comment_89995516

and part 2: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12702687/baby-gear-questions-and-suggestions/p7

Melissa9481

These catfish threads have me like People amaze me! 

GraceUponGrace09

We had a crazy on May '13. She had major complications, pregnant with twins, they were born crazy early and people were just starting to talk about doing something to help her when her story started unravelling. It was so crazy! 

Chawk17

Ok we are all aware of stranger danger on facebook. But what about strangers in real life.  In my town in 2008 a pregnant lady was approached on a transit  about how far she was pregnant. Simple question...deadly answer. 

So I am really worried about answering  this question what will be your responses when asked?!  Creeps are everywhere. 

eggplantface

@Chawk17 In the words of Jed Bartlet from The West Wing, "That's a thought that's gonna fester." Thing is, I hope no one ever asks me because no one should ever look at a woman's protruding belly and assume she's pregnant and ask about it. That's just asking for trouble. So perhaps I can shut down the question with "It's a tumor."

Chawk17

I like that response! I think I'm going to be a total B to any stranger who inquires or Dares to touch me.

SunflowerMama428

I've literally been lost in these threads for two days. I miss the old bump sometimes.