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November 2016 Moms
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Things I love about my SO/H

m6aguam6agua member
in November 2016 Moms
So I wanted to post this yesterday but was way too busy chasing LO around.

I know we all have been venting a lot about our SO/H. With fathers day yesterday I figured lets get a positive thread going to help remind us that it isn't always bad (at least I hope).
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TTC#1 July 2015 
  • BFP: 9/16/15 — MC: 11/8/15 Blighted Ovum
  • BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019 
  • BFP: 9/12/19 — EDD 5/15/20

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Re: Things I love about my SO/H

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    m6aguam6agua member
    @kvruns You are too sweet, I can't imagine being in your shoes and still thinking of nice things to say. With that being said, after reading your post, I had a thought. Maybe your DH just doesn't know how to be a good dad besides the financial/provider part of it.  I mean think about it, way back when thats how it worked, dad provided and mom cared for the children. Maybe he just doesn't know how to do the emotional/hands on stuff.
    _______________________________________________
    TTC#1 July 2015 
    • BFP: 9/16/15 — MC: 11/8/15 Blighted Ovum
    • BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
    TTC#2 April 2019 
    • BFP: 9/12/19 — EDD 5/15/20

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    kvrunskvruns member
    m6agua said:
    @kvruns You are too sweet, I can't imagine being in your shoes and still thinking of nice things to say. With that being said, after reading your post, I had a thought. Maybe your DH just doesn't know how to be a good dad besides the financial/provider part of it.  I mean think about it, way back when thats how it worked, dad provided and mom cared for the children. Maybe he just doesn't know how to do the emotional/hands on stuff.
    That is part of it, the uncertainty or being scared part and the fact that he isn't in control - he can't make a baby magically happy when he's having a meltdown, he can't "fix" him like he can the car or a broken washing machine or whatever.

    It has been compounded by his anger issues which ultimately lead to apathy about it all. In many ways I think his anger issues scared him from wanting to be involved because he doesn't trust himself not to snap and do something unintentionally bad. He has been more involved in the past couple of months, still on a very minimal level, which is good but still. If he was actively trying to do better in other areas I think it would help but he refuses to try to figure out anything with his anger (it wasn't always like this, I never would have dated him let alone married him had he acted like this from the beginning) and refuses to cut back on drinking which creates this whole other vicious cycle. 

    And I'm scared that B will end up picking up on these actions and thinking it is ok to act this way. 
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    SandNStarsNJSandNStarsNJ member
    @kvruns: "And I'm scared that B will end up picking up on these actions and thinking it is ok to act this way."

    That's the challenge for all of us in one way or another. It's extremely humbling when a toddler begins to mimic how they see you. I know it has - and still does - cause me to change constantly. 
    Married: 08.05.11
    Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
    Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
    Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
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    kvrunskvruns member
    very try @SandNStarsNJ and I definitely have traits I don't want him to pick up on either.
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