I don't find maternity pants comfortable. I have to pull them up all the time because I grow in my hips/thighs (story of my life really) so the top part is "bigger" while my hips are just right. I miss my normal pants and shorts where I have to wear a belt to keep them up but that's fine with me.
***TW in Siggy*** Me: 34 / DH: 33 Married: Nov 2011 TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014 TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
I don't find maternity pants comfortable. I have to pull them up all the time because I grow in my hips/thighs (story of my life really) so the top part is "bigger" while my hips are just right. I miss my normal pants and shorts where I have to wear a belt to keep them up but that's fine with me.
As I sit here in my 'regular' jeans with a hair elastic threatening its integrity while trying to hold the button, I miss my maternity pants immensely. However, laundry and I didn't find a time to get together this week.
@bumpybump I feel like they're great the first few wears after you buy them but then they stretch out and don't fit right, especially towards the end. Dresses ftw!
I hate avocados. I think they're a trendy hipster food and I hate that every restaurant including McDonald's is trying to feature them.
My almost four year old has always loved them. He just eats them diced and plain. I love it bc I know he's getting good fats and calories. It's funny to me how many things he won't eat but he will eat avocado.
@SouthernMama15 I hate plain avocado, but Guacamole is life!
I love my maternity pants, but like @SouthernMama15 said, after a wear or two, they are all stretched out and dont fit right. Though, other than my shorts, I havent worn pants in weeks. Dresses are life right now!
I hate mayo but I love miracle whip!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
So maybe I should rephrase. I have a friend that gave her dog a name and announced to the world they would like to introduce, Cooper Eugene (plus last name), as if she just birthed him. It's just so strange to me when people are like, "Come here Matthew." And then it's their dog. But, to each his own.
@aehogan90 ok that makes sense but names like Max are both people and pet names, so I wasn't sure how far "human" names went. But yea it'd be weird calling my dog Patrick or Suzan lol
DED! I may have just laughed out loud at my desk. My poor pod mate is in a meeting on the phone, oops!
My Dog is Oliver, but when I named him, I didnt know anyone named Oliver, but now I have 3 friends who had babies all named Oliver. So now I think Oliver is a weird baby name.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
If you legit like avocado, I say go all out, but if you're just eating it because it's cool like siracha or whatever else is "cool" I can't take it. And now I want McDonald's.
Dying on the pet thing. My aunt has a schnauzer/ shih tzu mix named Kelly. It was named when they got it, but she was still a puppy so it could have been changed. They have another dog named Jack. I call them Jack and Dianne because of the song and Kelly and Dianne are equally ridiculous things to name a dog.
@Nxy also dead from that comment. Getting a dog now just so I can name it Stapler.
@aehogan90 I actually think human names are hilarious for pets, but only male names for some reason. Someone named their dog Stephen and I died laughing.
Sriracha is high on my list of things I miss the most during pregnancy. Hot sauce is murder on my acid reflux right now. But my god, I lovvveeee that stuff. A few years ago I don't think a meal went by where I didn't douse what I was eating with Sriracha.
Also, I love ridiculous formal human names on dogs. I think it's cute when "Stephen" turns out to be the family dog. My cat was named Mindy Anna but I did usually refer to her by her nickname of "Moo-Moo"
Together: January 2002 Married: May 2008 Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
I just choked on my peanuts reading the human pet names "Stapler"
I think that avocados are good once in a blue moon not everyday all day.
I can't stand people naming there kids like "Money, King, Princess etc." Like why when i work in the mortgage industry I would get so many calls of people with those type of names and when I would request proof sure enough that was there name. I could not name my child any of those type of names.
+1 for loving avocado (even before it was super trendy) @brookedeyo That salad made my mouth water.
I guess my truly UO is that I love maternity clothes! At this point, as a 4TM, I basically live in my maternity leggings #leggings4lyfe
We haven't had a pet in years, but our first dog's name was another animal, "Gator". I thought it was totally weird at first (hubby named him), but I ended up naming our 2nd dog "Alli" so we had Alli-Gator.
My UO - I think Canadian maternity leave of 12-18 months is too long, and too much to ask of companies. I also worry that it leads to increased risk of PPD for brand new mamas, unless they have the drive to get out and about with a new LO (literally ZERO scientific anything to back that up, just going from personal experience).
@HappyToBeHere isn't it your choice though how much time you actually take off? Becuase speaking on behalf of my sil who only had 5 weeks off, most working mom's in the US would be happy with having the choice for paid maternity leave at all.
I agree with @Nxy. If I lived in Canada, Im not sure I would take the full year, but I would love to have the option to take it if I wanted it. I also know that companies that have to deal with longer maternity/paternity leave, have plans in place on how to deal with that. The company I work for has an office in Germany, and when someone goes on leave there, our company either places someone else (or multiple people) within the company to help cover for the whole leave or they hire a contractor. I really think that the US needs to get its act together and come up with a much better leave program for all parents!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
My company gives 1 week paid maternity leave and one week paid paternity leave at 100% pay. I then have to file a short term disability claim that is 6 weeks long (60% pay) . Then I can take an additional 4 weeks off (no pay) through the FMLA law.
@HappyToBeHere isn't it your choice though how much time you actually take off? Becuase speaking on behalf of my sil who only had 5 weeks off, most working mom's in the US would be happy with having the choice for paid maternity leave at all.
Oh yeah, you're absolutely right that it's the woman's choice, but it has been my experience that these 2 main issues arise:
- lots of daycares won't accept infants, because typically moms take the full year they are entitled to (in my area anyway, not sure about bigger cities) - workplaces discriminate against women of child-bearing age because of having to deal with the employee coming on, getting pregnant, and then the tensions around topping up pay for the year (if that's a company perk, which it is in many cases) PLUS having to hire another individual to fill in for that spot for the year. Even if the potential candidate is someone who really wouldn't choose to take the full year or year and a half, the employer can't legally ask that in an interview (obviously and rightly so), so the woman still gets discriminated against.
Personally, I don't discriminate, but we also have only a few women on staff with only one younger woman who knows we are super flexible and parent-friendly. DD came to work with me full time from from the time she was 6 weeks old until I put her into daycare part time at a year.
I know many American moms who definitely don't get enough time off, and I wholeheartedly agree that 6-12 weeks can be unreasonable. However, I think 6 months would be more manageable for companies, and would likely take some of the discrimination and tension away from companies who employ a large number of women.
My company gives 1 week paid maternity leave and one week paid paternity leave at 100% pay. I then have to file a short term disability claim that is 6 weeks long (60% pay) . Then I can take an additional 4 weeks off (no pay) through the FMLA law.
My sil had 2 paid weeks off because she used her annual paid time off. Then took 3 weeks of fmla because that's all they could afford her to be off for. We absolutely need to join the first world in terms of maternity/paternity leave.
@HappyToBeHere I somehow missed that you were in Canada. FWIW I totally agree with your points, and didnt realize the day care issue. I just cant seem to get my head around how differently the US handles parental leave, compared to other countries. I am fully aware that my company is pretty awesome for moms, but for dads, it sucks. Luckily, Dh also works at a company that has awesome parental leave. However, if I were still teaching, that would have been a completely different story. Not to mention the cost of care (especially in larger cities) and the fact that parents have to decide if paying for day care will be more cost effective than one parent staying home. Its just all so frustrating.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
Yes, @Nxy and @tova24, the US system is dated, and the fact that pregnancy is deemed a "pre-existing condition" (or was ... I'm not sure where you guys are at now), is gross. I'm super glad Canada celebrates family and supports new parents, I'm just saying it could probably be more like 6 months and keep both new parents and companies satisfied.
@HappyToBeHere I can appreciate the draw backs you pointed out. I know no matter how much (some) people in the states seem to think Canada is perfect there are definitely draw backs to your systems. I do still think the US would be wise to use y'all as inspiration to implement some programs that could work on our larger scale but we'll have to wait for aloooot of babyboomers to die off before that'll become a reality.
Bath and Body Works products are not worth the price and the scents are not even that great.
@brookedyo Now that is my kind of salad (minus the blue cheese). All the toppings, minimal lettuce. Don't get me wrong, I love lettuce but sometimes a salad full of toppings is necessary. My favorite is avocado, cucumber, tomato and feta salads drizzled with olive oil. So good.
Also speaking of blue cheese. Buffalo chicken and blue cheese together = sick. Don't ruin my buffalo chicken with your nasty ass cheese. Feta is where it's at. My first post baby meal will probably have all the feta!!
The first day May 2007 The yes day April 2012 The best day Nov 2013
I agree with @Nxy. If I lived in Canada, Im not sure I would take the full year, but I would love to have the option to take it if I wanted it. I also know that companies that have to deal with longer maternity/paternity leave, have plans in place on how to deal with that. The company I work for has an office in Germany, and when someone goes on leave there, our company either places someone else (or multiple people) within the company to help cover for the whole leave or they hire a contractor. I really think that the US needs to get its act together and come up with a much better leave program for all parents!
This has honestly always puzzled me about countries will really long Leaves, and I have an MBA! Is there an entire industry of "contractor" type, "jack of all trades" people that can fill in for maternity leaves for a year? I say that generically, but the higher up you get in the corporate ladder, the more knowledge and expertise you need- and that is just poof gone- when a woman takes maternity leave. I suppose I would liken it to teaching jobs in the US- a teacher often gets a full semester or even a year or two on maternity leave (union negotiation) so they use substitute teachers. That's great for people who like being substitutes but it's hard for my friends who have been those substitutes and would rather find a permanent (and tenured) job than jump from school to school every year. There are definitely skilled jobs (teachers, doctors, lawyers) etc but I feel like replacing corporate jobs at higher levels would be a lot harder; I'd also worry that if my contractor did a better job than I did for a year that they'd fire me when I return and hire someone else. For places with shorter leaves, work just gets divided amongst those left and it's just a "take it for the team" approach- my teammate will help cover my duties while I'm out, and I helped with some of her duties when she was out on medical. Here's it's just expected that people take up slack until the person returns and expect that people will return that favor if you ever need the extended time off. (Sorry that was long!)
@DeansGirl14 I know in my company, we hire a lot of people as contractors, becuase they don't live in the countries or states our offices are in. There will be a contractor coming on to help cover for me when I am out. They brought him on becuase there is literally no one else in the company who can cover for me. My team is 3 people, and we work on a very isolated part of the website, where we are the only ones who know the code base. The new contractor is already spending some time getting to know the code base, from me, and will take over once Im out, but then when I come back, he will probably move on to another small job at the company. I think it really depends on the job you do, as to how a company can cover for you.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@DeansGirl14 my SIL is a teacher and she pretty much has to save up all her sick etc time off for any future leave. So she has to plan like a year before she would want to try to save her time, and she works in an amazing school district. Weird re-negotiations on contracts.
I agree with you on the fear of someone being better. I was the first person hired on my team and have been here about 6mos, they just hired a second who starts next week. She is actually my recommendation and we worked together before so I'm comfortable with her-and she is literally starting in time for me to train her to take over for me when I leave. That doesn't mean I am not worried that we won't build our client base while I am gone and that when I come back they won't need both of us and she will have kicked my butt or something. I know my fear is unfounded- our company is growing, they have been amazing to me and promised they will have my desk waiting- but I could not imagine how I would feel taking a yr off....
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@Nxy and @HappyToBeHere I wish the US had better policies on maternity leave. Just to qualify for FMLA and short term disability, I have had to work for my company for over a year. We could use Paid Time Off too, but that doesn't extend the leave, it just lets you get paid a couple more days of the leave that you wouldn't of had.
In October, when I had a full thyroid removal/ complications, I didn't qualify for any medical leave. My company granted me compassionate leave, which was me borrowing 2 weeks of paid time off. It took me 6 months of no time off to make that up! It was terrible.
Totally agree on the ridiculous maternity/paternity leave situation in the US. I'm already nervous about coming back to work. The transition is going to suck. I feel incredibly lucky to get 16 weeks at 100% pay. It should be illegal to offer your employees a WEEK of paid leave... come on. And making people hoard vacation and sick days -going without a break for months before you deliver.
It really sucks. Countries like India give woman a year and in the US we get a bare minimum of 12 weeks unpaid if you have been with your company a year. I dread transitioning back to work and putting my little one in daycare at 3 months old.
Re: UO 6/15
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
I love my maternity pants, but like @SouthernMama15 said, after a wear or two, they are all stretched out and dont fit right. Though, other than my shorts, I havent worn pants in weeks. Dresses are life right now!
I hate mayo but I love miracle whip!
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
I mostly meant proper names like you mentioned. Timothy. Christopher. Elizabeth. Jennifer. To me, that would be super weird.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
My Dog is Oliver, but when I named him, I didnt know anyone named Oliver, but now I have 3 friends who had babies all named Oliver. So now I think Oliver is a weird baby name.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Dying on the pet thing. My aunt has a schnauzer/ shih tzu mix named Kelly. It was named when they got it, but she was still a puppy so it could have been changed. They have another dog named Jack. I call them Jack and Dianne because of the song and Kelly and Dianne are equally ridiculous things to name a dog.
@Nxy also dead from that comment. Getting a dog now just so I can name it Stapler.
@aehogan90 I actually think human names are hilarious for pets, but only male names for some reason. Someone named their dog Stephen and I died laughing.
@bumpybump I only have one maternity jeans and, although I love the no buttons thing, it's always sagging.
Also, I love ridiculous formal human names on dogs. I think it's cute when "Stephen" turns out to be the family dog. My cat was named Mindy Anna but I did usually refer to her by her nickname of "Moo-Moo"
Together: January 2002
Married: May 2008
Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
I think that avocados are good once in a blue moon not everyday all day.
I can't stand people naming there kids like "Money, King, Princess etc." Like why when i work in the mortgage industry I would get so many calls of people with those type of names and when I would request proof sure enough that was there name. I could not name my child any of those type of names.
I guess my truly UO is that I love maternity clothes! At this point, as a 4TM, I basically live in my maternity leggings #leggings4lyfe
We haven't had a pet in years, but our first dog's name was another animal, "Gator". I thought it was totally weird at first (hubby named him), but I ended up naming our 2nd dog "Alli" so we had Alli-Gator.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
- lots of daycares won't accept infants, because typically moms take the full year they are entitled to (in my area anyway, not sure about bigger cities)
- workplaces discriminate against women of child-bearing age because of having to deal with the employee coming on, getting pregnant, and then the tensions around topping up pay for the year (if that's a company perk, which it is in many cases) PLUS having to hire another individual to fill in for that spot for the year. Even if the potential candidate is someone who really wouldn't choose to take the full year or year and a half, the employer can't legally ask that in an interview (obviously and rightly so), so the woman still gets discriminated against.
Personally, I don't discriminate, but we also have only a few women on staff with only one younger woman who knows we are super flexible and parent-friendly. DD came to work with me full time from from the time she was 6 weeks old until I put her into daycare part time at a year.
I know many American moms who definitely don't get enough time off, and I wholeheartedly agree that 6-12 weeks can be unreasonable. However, I think 6 months would be more manageable for companies, and would likely take some of the discrimination and tension away from companies who employ a large number of women.
Sorry for the wall of text!
My sil had 2 paid weeks off because she used her annual paid time off. Then took 3 weeks of fmla because that's all they could afford her to be off for. We absolutely need to join the first world in terms of maternity/paternity leave.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
@brookedyo Now that is my kind of salad (minus the blue cheese). All the toppings, minimal lettuce. Don't get me wrong, I love lettuce but sometimes a salad full of toppings is necessary. My favorite is avocado, cucumber, tomato and feta salads drizzled with olive oil. So good.
Also speaking of blue cheese. Buffalo chicken and blue cheese together = sick. Don't ruin my buffalo chicken with your nasty ass cheese. Feta is where it's at. My first post baby meal will probably have all the feta!!
There are definitely skilled jobs (teachers, doctors, lawyers) etc but I feel like replacing corporate jobs at higher levels would be a lot harder; I'd also worry that if my contractor did a better job than I did for a year that they'd fire me when I return and hire someone else.
For places with shorter leaves, work just gets divided amongst those left and it's just a "take it for the team" approach- my teammate will help cover my duties while I'm out, and I helped with some of her duties when she was out on medical. Here's it's just expected that people take up slack until the person returns and expect that people will return that favor if you ever need the extended time off.
(Sorry that was long!)
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
I agree with you on the fear of someone being better. I was the first person hired on my team and have been here about 6mos, they just hired a second who starts next week.
She is actually my recommendation and we worked together before so I'm comfortable with her-and she is literally starting in time for me to train her to take over for me when I leave. That doesn't mean I am not worried that we won't build our client base while I am gone and that when I come back they won't need both of us and she will have kicked my butt or something. I know my fear is unfounded- our company is growing, they have been amazing to me and promised they will have my desk waiting- but I could not imagine how I would feel taking a yr off....
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
In October, when I had a full thyroid removal/ complications, I didn't qualify for any medical leave. My company granted me compassionate leave, which was me borrowing 2 weeks of paid time off. It took me 6 months of no time off to make that up! It was terrible.