Weekly B-Fest (6/12)

sjohns908

Let it all out

beezeee

My BF is myself and my procrastination. I have a big filing today for work (needs to be ready to file by the end of the workday). I probably only need to put another hour into it, so I really should just wrap it up quick and get it over with, but instead I'm all, "I have plenty of time," and am just f'ing around on here. 

sjohns908

Worst part of being self employed is when you deal with stupid people and have to be nice because it's your reputation on the line. But dammit, people just suck. Who expects a handmade seller to answer emails over the weekend and throws a fit when they dont? Sorry lady, you're not getting a refund when I've already spent time making your order and paid shipping because you don't like how I didn't respond to your late-Friday email and you decided to get stuff from elsewhere. What a way to start a Monday.

mommykay-2

Only 6 people came to my daughter's 2nd birthday on Saturday. 15 rsvped.. So much for family. They all plan on going to my nephews 1st bday party next month. (My only sister didn't wish her only neice a happy birthday, didn't show up, didn't even send a card, but expects me to attend her son's party) 

I don't feel comfortable attending because for over a year she's called my daughter a terror, has not even acknowledged her, has not even said 2 words to her in the last year, and didn't even support my family adopting a cat from the pound.. She doesn't even know we have 2 now..

ariz17

@sjohns908 That sounds awful. Dumb people suck. @beezeemarie We'll quit trying to distract you 

Nothing too BF worthy yet for me. Other than that I'm tired. And were doing a group lunch today at work because a new girl started... and I just don't feel like being chipper or interactive lol. 

So in the end I guess I had a BF after all.

Brambles23

My BF this morning is not falling asleep until almost 1:00am and waking up a little before 5:30.  Stupid brain wouldn't shut off.  

natleilynn

@MommyKay you win. That is so incredibly $h!tty!

mommykay-2

@natleilynn being a hormonal wreck about it today too. I don't even know what to do anymore. Tired of it

natleilynn

@MommyKay you're justified. Eat some comfort food, take a long shower and cry it out. I'd be angry enough over the RSVP situation. Add in the family part and I'd be about 5 minutes from starring in a Lifetime movie.

mommykay-2

@natleilynn thank you. I should have a tv show at this point lol 

migdala

My BF is I hate driving 45 minutes each way to a routine check-up that lasts all of 15 minutes.  Can't it be done via FaceTime or something??  All they do is listen to the HB, which I can do at home with my Doppler, and take my blood pressure, which I could go round the corner and do at Walgreens.  My whole morning is shot for every appointment and I always leave feeling like nothing even happened...

VLillyV

@mommykay I'm so sorry that hardly anyone came to the party, at least you know now who is willing to make the time and effort for a next special occasion. I think you are also totally allowed to not want to go to that other party, it would only be fair and honestly, why put in the effort?

mommykay-2

@VLillyV it's just terrible that my family has favorites. I make it to everyone else's though and I'm just extremely heartbroken for my daughter. 
I'm pretty sure next year it's just going to be the family I made. It's just a sad situation I have here.

VLillyV

@MommyKay *hugs* I can totally understand.

tyannej

My BF is my hair. It is always a grease ball. I cannot do anything with it. Ever. Anymore. 

natleilynn

I'm well aware this could potentially make me out to a flaming b!tch, but I'm just super bummed out.

*TW*

I think I've told this story before, but long story short - my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 12 weeks. A week after my D/C my SIL and best friend both told me they were pregnant (due within a month of my original due date). So happy face throughout their pregnancies, I got pregnant again fairly quickly and life went on. Fast forward to now, my best friend has had a really hard time getting pregnant again. I've tried to be sensitive and don't talk about it unless she brings it up. Which....is never. She lives in a different state and since I got out of the first trimester she hasn't asked how it's going, for a belly shot, how DD is doing with it all, nothing.

I get it, she's going through a hard time. But I've been there. And I still made the effort to check in at least once a week to get a belly shot, see how doctor's appointments went, see how she was feeling, etc. Even though I was dying inside, I was still happy for her and excited for her. I mean, I had to watch two of the people I was closest to in the world be pregnant as soon as I lost mine. I understand the struggle, I do.

I just feel like I'm not allowed to be excited about this baby around her, which makes me sad...this will be our last and she knows I had a stressed out pregnancy the first time and didn't enjoy it because pGAL brain. 

Again...I'm not shoving this in her face whatsoever. She's not on social media and I have posted exactly one time about being pregnant online. I call her, I text her, I email her - and I am careful to discuss anything except babies and pregnancy. She rarely reaches out to me. I feel like I'm being punished because I got pregnant. And it just makes me sad. And I don't know what to do except continue doing what I'm doing and just not talking about it around her.

bluejeanbabi05

@natleilynn ugh, that's a hard situation for both of you. No flames from me. But I will venture to say it's probably a bit unfair to assume she's deliberately punishing you. I would guess she holds zero grudge against you and is genuinely happy for you, but is holding up her own mental health as what she needs to focus on right now. She probably even feels really guilty about it, too. Rock and a hard place

dumbledoredies

@MommyKay that sounds so crappy. It sounds like your family has no respect!

My BF this week is something that happened last week after my anatomy scan. The women's hospital is connected to the children's hospital. We were done with our appointment and waiting at the garage elevators with a large group of people including a young girl (probably 13-14 years old) with special needs. The elevator came and everyone started filing onto the elevators. There was this older lady, probably in her 60s, whose husband went to get on the elevator but she stopped him and was like, "no, we will wait for the next one. I'm not getting on there with that THING." I almost lost my shit. Unfortunately we were already walking onto the elevator because they were holding the door for us to get on so I couldn't confront her. Not to mention that when we got on the elevator we said thank you for holding the door open and the adorable girl with special needs was like, "thank YOU! I feel so smart!" And it was so cute. When my DH and I got off on our floor we both were just like I can't believe that just happened... what a heartless, horrible, cruel women! It's been eating me up inside ever since because I can't believe that there are people like that in this world. I lost some faith in humanity after that.

My other BF for today is that I have no motivation to work and I just want to go home. I'm sooo so tired. I painted our family room this weekend and ran a bunch of errands and completely wore myself out. I can't wait to go to bed.

natleilynn

bluejeanbabi05 said:

@natleilynn ugh, that's a hard situation for both of you. No flames from me. But I will venture to say it's probably a bit unfair to assume she's deliberately punishing you. I would guess she holds zero grudge against you and is genuinely happy for you, but is holding up her own mental health as what she needs to focus on right now. She probably even feels really guilty about it, too. Rock and a hard place

@bluejeanbabi05 you're right, that was unfair. I think I just feel like I went out of my way to make her feel like she should be happy before, even when I was sad. And it's not being reciprocated when the situation is reversed. But I guess everyone deals with it in their own way. It just stinks because before I got pregnant, we were so close and talked all the time. And it doesn't happen anymore unless I reach out to her. I'm just worried it's going to drive a wedge in our friendship that's not going to heal. But I guess there's not really anything I can do about that except give her space.

OliveOyl2014

@dumbledoredies omg I can't believe that people like that exist. Hopefully the young lady didn't hear her. Even if she did, it sounds like it didn't phase her. I would have a hard time holding back too. Who the f says something like that, and to a kid no less.  

ChocolateIsLife

First off @natleilynn , I'm so sorry about your first loss, and to have 2 of the women that are closest to you conceive while going through that had to be incredibly painful and shows your strength for being so happy(even if just externally) and supportive during their time.

I don't think your friend is punishing you, but I can see how it could feel that way. She is more than likely incredibly emotional and frustrated by the situation, and doesn't know how to show support right now. When I struggled with IF, it took a long time to get to where I could put on a happy face, so the way that I dealt with it was distancing myself from triggers that would be painful to be in, and had nothing to do with being mad with the other person. Sadly it sounds like this might be how your friend is coping.

You mentioned that you leave the topic alone about her struggles until she brings it up. I know that everyone is different, but it always meant a lot to me when someone who knew our situation would ask how things were. I hope she warms up and celebrates this time with you.

bluejeanbabi05

@chocolateislife +1 to asking about her situation. A lot of my friends didn't, because they didn't want to remind me of it, but to be honest I was thinking about it all the time anyway. I never brought it up on my own because I didn't want to bring people down or aw myself. Eta: and talking it about it was nice. Then she might feel more comfortable asking about your pregnancy @natleilynn

ChocolateIsLife

@bluejeanbabi05 Yep everything you just said. 

natleilynn

@ChocolateIsLife @bluejeanbabi05 that's a good call. Before I got pregnant, I asked how it was all going a lot more. I guess I felt like since I got pregnant, I needed to be extra sensitive to her...but maybe that's why she's pulled back from me. 

And thanks for not flaming. I feel like a terrible friend for being upset about it, but...it does hurt. Maybe we're just both hurting and not sure how to handle it. We've known each other our whole lives, but this thing has thrown us for a loop. 

bluejeanbabi05

@natleilynn you're not a terrible friend! The fact that you're so concerned about this shows that you're a really good person and care about her. 

ChocolateIsLife

Girrrrl there is nothing flame-worthy about this situation. You are right, you are both hurting for different reasons, and you don't sound like a terrible friend at all. Everyone handles grief so differently, it is easy to be hurt or let down when you think the other person isn't reciprocating support. 

natleilynn

@ChocolateIsLife @bluejeanbabi05 thank you both I feel better now. I think I'm going to call her after work and see how everything is going. Everything.

ariz17

@dumbledoredies Wow. What a horrible person. My mouth dropped when I read that. I am appalled.

@natleilynn That's tough. There is a couple that I know that have lost two babies and I always feel kind of awkward or guilty talking about my pregnancy around them these days. They are super nice though and always ask how I am. One baby had trisomy 13 and they asked me if my test results came back okay. We're not very close but I feel so bad for those two 

I hope the situation with your friend gets better. Maybe she does need someone to talk to about it. It is unfair that you feel the need not to bring up your pregnancy though especially since you were so supportive.

OliveOyl2014

For the third time in the last 2 months we are having a problem with ants. First it was the small ones, then ones with wings, now the big thick ones. We put out traps but these big ones don't seem interested. I have found them on the counters, our couch, and even on our bed. I'm so grossed out. 

Brambles23

@dumbledoredies reading that made my blood boil.  Many of my clients are children with special needs, so when I hear stories like that I immediately turn into mama bear.  I would have turned around right there (like I forgot something, needed to go back, whatever), and given that miserable woman a piece of my mind.  Ugh, I'm sorry you had to see that kind of ugliness in the world.

jesssssr

My bathtub is clogged   
it was working fine yesterday but not today

sjohns908

@OliveOyl2014 ugh ants are so frustrating! We have the little house ants every year and they are relentless. I can't set a pop can on my counter without them appearing out of no where within an hour and swarming it. But those big ones and the winged ones would be awful. 

DH goes outside and watches them to figure out where their nests are and sets the spike traps and sprays bug killer along their routes, which has helped.

OliveOyl2014

@sjohns908 sorry you have to deal with them too! And I think I'll send DH outside to stalk them lol. 

roo_baby

@mommykay I'm so sorry your family did that. Hopefully next year you can plan something really fun with DD's friends from daycare/preschool/playgroups/etc. so it won't make much of a difference to her who else shows up. 

@natleilynn Agree with the others. I have a friend who MC'd a few months before we got pregnant, and she's been really supportive and genuinely interested in my pregnancy. However, I've realized that I'm uncomfortable talking about it with her and hold back on the details. I would say turn up the baby talk a notch or two and see how she responds - she may care a lot more than you think but isn't asking questions because it seems like you are avoiding the topic. 

I have two BFs this week:
1. I had my follow-up A/S because they didn't get a good picture of the left leg the first time. They charged me another co-pay for it. I feel like they made the mistake the first time, I shouldn't have to pay again. 
2. I've been really anxious about money with the baby coming, and have been encouraging DH to cut back on unnecessary spending. Well, he went to a bachelor party this past weekend where they had two dinners over $100/pp (the second one was nearly $200/pp), and their lunches and bar tabs were pretty high, too. I've never gone to a bachelorette where we spent even close to that on food - maybe one really nice $75-100/pp meal but the rest is much more casual. DH did most of the planning, including choosing the restaurants, so he totally could have been more responsible about it. But he feels no guilt whatsoever. 

melarowan

Gah... work.  

Coworker at satellite campus says: that thing that we insisted you buy for us isn't right and I need it fixed today
Me: what's wrong with it?
Coworker: it's facing the wrong way
Me: ok.  Can you send me a picture or sketch of what you have so I can see (and not drive across town)?
Coworker: sure.  did you get it?
Me: no
Coworker: oops, I forgot to hit send.  How about now?
Me: still no
Coworker: oops, I forgot to attach the picture. Can't you just get it fixed?
Me: *grinding teeth* I really can't fix the issue until you send me a photo or sketch
Coworker:  I'll sketch it. Got it?
Me: you sent a file that is blank.
Coworker: oops
Me: *internal monologue: It's taken yor 3.5 hours to do exactly nothing and you make 2x more salary that me*

buttercream_frosting

OMFG Let me eat in peace. It' morning here so I'm having my bit of fruit and of course my coworker has to comment and make a joke that I'm all into the food just like his wife was during pregnancy. No dickhead, I am eating because I am a human being who requires sustenance and nutrition.

buttercream_frosting

@OliveOyl2014 Ants are the worst.

@dumbledoredies W O W. That woman deserves a pineapple shoved up her ass.

@MommyKay I'm so sorry your family were assholes and disappointed you and your DD. That really sucks.

Brambles23

*snip*
buttercream_frosting said:

@dumbledoredies W O W. That woman deserves a pineapple shoved up her ass.

Thank you for the colorful addition to my collection of insults.

sjohns908

Guise. I just can't with people today. I have someone who acknowledged that navy blue is a DARK blue but is also trying to say her navy blue item she ordered is black. No, black is black. Why would you expect your "dark" blue runner to be a lighter blue? She is also my 2nd customer today who is pissed I didn't respond to her message over the weekend. Did you work yesterday? Cool, me neither.

I can't. So done.

PizzaMonster3

buttercream_frosting said:

OMFG Let me eat in peace. It' morning here so I'm having my bit of fruit and of course my coworker has to comment and make a joke that I'm all into the food just like his wife was during pregnancy. No dickhead, I am eating because I am a human being who requires sustenance and nutrition.

GAH SAY IT LOUDER. Let me live! I want pizza, not "the baby wants pizza." I want a bagel, not "the baby wants a bagel." 

ChocolateIsLife

EXACTLY @buttercream_frosting and @PizzaMonster3 ! I want a grande, frosty premium margarita, not "the baby wants a grande, frosty premium margarita."