TTCAL Check-In Week of 6/12

dpjennifer

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What is currently your favorite way to relax and escape the pressures of TTCAL?

dpjennifer

Status: Benched

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I’m doing pretty well actually. I’m past depression of AF, my weight is about the same, and I had a good weekend that was fun and productive.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? None.

GTKY: What is currently your favorite way to relax and escape the pressures of TTCAL? Right now I’m focusing on trying some new recipes and looking a designs for some pretty cookies to decorate for my SIL’s wedding in a few weeks!

icecubeinthedesert

@dpjennifer, I'm so glad you're feeling better about things. Find any great recipes that you'd like to share?

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 2 losses, in September and March

Status: TWW! I'm so excited because I've now had two cycles in a row where I ovulated in the same CD, and it's the earliest I've ever O'ed! Maybe my body is finally getting it's ish together after a year and a half off BC. Will start progesterone tomorrow after confirming with a second high temp.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? pretty good this week. Was just anxious that DH was going to run out of baby juice before I O'ed. This weekend wasn't very fun though because I was working on a last minute proposal due Wednesday. But I got a great headstart on it! Oh, and we went to see Wonder Woman. It was pretty good!

Any testing coming up/any recent results? just HPTs, but not until mid next week.

GTKY: I tend to throw myself into work, whether that be work work or house work. Sitting and wallowing while watching TV doesn't end week for me.

looeeze

@dpjennifer I glad to hear that you're feeling better. Fun weekends can go a long way sometimes. 

@icecubeinthedesert Hooray for TWW! Good luck w/ progesterone. 

------------

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc: MC about two weeks ago at 5.5 wks.

Status: WTO. Decided to jump right back in.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I really don't like my job. It's important work but my heart isn't in it and it just doesn't feel right to be here. Going well: I'm trying to cut down sugar and successfully resisted the temptation of a delicious-looking milk chocolate/caramel cupcakes this morning.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? No

GTKY: What is currently your favorite way to relax and escape the pressures of TTCAL? MH and I have been talking a lot of walks lately. It's nice quality time together. 

dpjennifer

@icecubeinthedesert I will keep you posted since I'm testing out a few new recipes right now to see which ones I like to make 'for real' for the wedding! But a favorite staple of mine is the Land O'Lakes Best Ever Butter Cookies. It's easy-peasy to make, rolls out like a dream, and bakes up well whether you slightly underbake it, hit it right on, or brown them! Tastes great.

janelane33

Status: finally in the TWW! Today is CD 29, I O'd yesterday after being positive I wasn't going to this cycle as my last cycle was a chemical pregnancy.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?  This past week I have definitely been feeling better about things and finally stopped being angry. I'm not the happiest at my job, but it's tolerable. Nothing to rant about. My rave is that I've stated eating healthier and I love how it makes me feel. 
Any testing coming up/any recent results?
 No tests
GTKY: What is currently your favorite way to relax and escape the pressures of TTCAL?  
I like to read, walk my dogs and I make my own mala bead necklaces, which is time consuming and very relaxing. 

icecubeinthedesert

Update: has a hard time focusing to get work done today because a co-worker came in from maternity leave with her 8w baby. To work there all day. She even brought the baby to our optional seminar too. She's kind of a friend, but I definitely thought that over stepped some boundaries there. Work was my one baby free zone (other than everyone talking about their kids, which I can handle to a point).

@looeeze, I'm sorry about your job. Are there any other options for you in your field where you live? 

@dpjennifer, mmm those sound so good right now.

@janelane33, hey there ovulation buddy! I don't think we've met before, and I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad you're feeling better. Great job on the healthy eating! I'm not sure I know what a mala bead necklace is. So you have a pic of one you've made that you'd like to share?

janelane33

@icecubeinthedesert Hey! Good to meet you! I just joined yesterday, and am still getting the hang of this, but its nice to be able to have some people to talk with who are going through all this together. Thank you for your support, sometimes it can get really rough, and I'm sorry for your loss as well.
 I have a co worker, (whom I never really liked to begin with because she is so lazy,) who always complains about her PG symptoms to me. I had a mmc in January as well as the chemical pg in May, and she knows about them both, so it drives me crazy when she does that. People can be so clueless and self absorbed.
Mala beads are also known as yoga beads, or bhuddist prayer beads. I've made two so far and am working on a third. the first is made with amethyst and white jade, the other is labradorite and rose quartz, and the one I am currently working on will be all rose quartz with pyrite. I love your pug!! My husband and I love dogs, especially pugs, we have a Bugg and just rescued another dog in March, not sure what kind of dog she is though. She's super sweet and loveable  

janelane33

@icecubeinthedesert

looeeze

@icecubeinthedesert babies in a place you weren't expecting (like work) can be so hard. I'm so sorry! My boss just had one and she brings him in twice a week for the full day. I love babies so it's nice to see him-- now-- but at first it was reeeeeally hard. And last week was no picnic either-- I was fresh from a loss and she knew about it and brought him in anyway and my whole attitude was "i get that you dont have childcare right now but also f you." It sucked and I don't have any advice, just wanted to say I'm sorry you are feeling that way. 

icecubeinthedesert

@janelane33, oohh pretty! The coworker I mentioned knows about our two losses as well, and she was sympathetic (even got me a care package with fresh baked cookies and other goodies after she heard of my second). I just don't understand why she needs to bring the LO into work, and if she doesn't have someone to watch him, why then are you going to the seminar you don't have to attend? I just don't get it (sorry for the rant)

icecubeinthedesert

@looeeze, that's totally the feeling I had too. Plus, it's a research lab and she's helping someone with an experiment. I don't know that I would want my baby there at all. Another example of why I need my own office, lol.

janelane33

@icecubeinthedesert rant away! I totally understand. That's just rubbing it in your face, which is rude. And what I find hard about situations like this, is that if something were to be said, most people would just brush it off.

looeeze

@icecubeinthedesert makes sense-- and especially if she knows about your losses and didn't have to be there! 

dpjennifer

@icecubeinthedesert Sorry! That sucks. I always find it the worst when I'm doing ok and think I'm in a 'safe zone' and then am suddenly confronted with triggers and can't escape. It's the worst! I hope your day was able to get better!

icecubeinthedesert

@dpjennifer, I got in a really bad mood last night finding out that the medical bills I paid for my last MC required more documentation to be completed, and of course my scanner couldn't just cooperate and make that easy. But I did end the night doing some yoga before bed, which made everything all better.  usually when I'm in a bad mood, I'll just make it worse by sitting around (pity party of one), but I forced myself to get active. I think I'll be doing a lot more if that from now on!

How is everyone else today?

janelane33

@icecubeinthedesert I hear you on the pity parties, sometimes I have to throw one for myself as an outlet to get rid of my bad mood. But yes, yoga is super helpful! I love how relaxed I feel afterward. I also love to go for a bike ride. Hope everything works out with your medical bills! 

ChloandCoco

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Hi ladies, I introduced myself a couple of months ago to the TTGP board, but ended up being more of a lurker. I'm not ready to jump into the daily threads, so I hope it's ok if I hang out here.

A week ago I started to miscarry at 6w6d and an US confirmed it was a blighted ovum. This was my first loss and second pregnancy.

Status: Limbo? My doctor (GP), said that I have to wait 3 cycles before TTC again, but she wouldn't fault me if I started trying again asap. She's not an OB, and I'm just wondering if other doctors have said the same thing?

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Rant - This week I'm just struggling in general. I regret going to my GP instead of my OB and now it seems a little silly to make an appointment with my OB since I'm pretty sure it's completely over.

Rave - I think the bleeding is over.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I have an US on Thursday to make sure my uterus is empty.

GTKY: What is currently your favorite way to relax and escape the pressures of TTCAL? To escape I started watching Grey's Anatomy from the beginning. I find it has just enough fluff/drama to help the time go by faster.

@dpjennifer - I'll have to try the Land O'Lakes Butter Cookies, they sound super easy.
@icecubeinthedesert - I really want to see Wonder Woman, I'm hoping to go sometime this week or next week. And that's really not cool that your co-worker brought her baby in to work. 
@looeeze - Good job on resisting the cupcakes! You have way more will power than I do right now, haha.
@janelane33 - Congrats on being in the TWW! And those mala beads look very interesting.

janelane33

@ChloandCoco Thank you, and I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, it's really a horrible thing to go through. And it can be hard to find people who really understand. As for what your GP said, I think most Dr's recommend waiting at least one cycle, but there are women who do conceive right away. When it's an early loss, then your body may be ready again sooner physically, but some women aren't ready emotionally. Do what feels right for you. 
I also do the Netflix/movie/tv show marathons to unwind. It can really take you away to another place for awhile. Aside from the mala bead necklaces, I also make bracelets, so I usually do that while I'm watching something to help pass the time even more!
Hope you're feeling better soon! 

kiki75

@ChloandCoco I don't think you're silly for going to your GP. Lots of people do that. I think this just may influence what you choose next time (eta for clarity, because it would make you feel more comfortable, not based on anything else). Do you use your GP for your annual exams/pap? If not, depending on when you're due for it, I might start with an OB/Gyn to get to know them better. 

Personally, I believe the 3 cycles rule is old thinking that hasn't been supported by research since. And it's fair that your GP was going with that since it's the more conservative thing but, as GPs, they have a lot to keep up with so perhaps the latest in MC research isn't one of the things she's really familiar with. I was seeing an OB/Gyn when I had a MMC at 9 weeks. I did the misoprostol and a follow-up US a week later (I had made a placenta so she wanted to be sure everything passed). She told us that we needed to wait until my next period to try but after that we were cleared. I felt comfortable with that and would do it again. 

ChloandCoco

@janelane33  - It is really hard to find people who understand, but a few ladies have reached out on the Bump and it's really meant a lot to have support (even if we don't know each other IRL).

@kiki75 - I will definitely be going to my OB if/when I get pregnant next time. I just really like my GP, she's a no-nonsense kind of doctor, but she does seem a little out of touch with new research and it's really hard to get in to see her. I was just a little shocked that she told me to wait because I didn't have any medical intervention, everything is happening naturally. 

janelane33

@ChloandCoco I know exactly what you mean. After my first mc, I asked my best friend of ten years for support, (I wanted to get together for tea or lunch) she said she was too busy. We are no longer friends. I know people are busy, but if she had been in my place, I would have made time for her no matter what! So it's definitely nice to be able to have people to talk with, like you said, even if it's over the internet. And it's nice because in the outside world, I think people expect you to get over it and never mention it again, but it doesn't work like that and women here understand that. 

ChloandCoco

@janelane33 - Exactly! People IRL have been nice, but they really don't watch what they say. DH and I went to a wedding this weekend and my MIL kept talking about women who had recently announced they were pregnant, etc. I get that maybe she forgot, but it was very hard to sit through all that. 

janelane33

@ChloandCoco yes!! I have a pregnant co worker who always complains to me about her symptoms! And I'm so sick and tired of being told to "relax". That sucks that your MIL was telling you all that though. You're right, people really don't stop to think before they speak most of the times, and yet, if someone were to mention how it made them feel, most people would just accuse them of being over sensitive or something. 

dpjennifer

ChloandCoco Doctors give varying opinions on how long to wait after a MC, usually between 1-3 cycles. Sometimes it’s a ‘guess’ based upon medical research (which is ever changing in this area), and other times it’s based upon your specific situation. Also, FYI, beware of the episode where Meredith has a MC. And don’t give yourself worry about going to GP instead of OB. It was such an early loss that there’s nothing OB could have done, and with 1 previous PG that resulted in a live birth they probably wouldn’t have had you do betas. So don’t beat yourself up over it!

janelane33 I want to punch people in the face when they tell me to relax.  One day I may just be off my rocker enough to do it. *sigh*

KariAnn323

Sorry for the P&G - have to get to work. I'll come back this evening.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. MC in December and CP in March. Suspected low progesterone issue - taking progesterone supplements after ovulation

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm struggling with my family. We didn't go to a concert with them Saturday night. DH knew that AF was due sometime around this weekend and that I would be upset if it came so he wanted me to be able to stay home and relax. Monday night my sister texted me basically saying that I'm a horrible daughter who neglects our parents. I got really upset and spilled my guts about what is going on and how we're probably headed to fertility treatments. DH and I are supposed to talk to my mom tonight. It's hard though because I want her to understand what's going on so she doesn't get offended, but I don't want her constantly calling and checking on everything because right now there's not a lot to talk about.

I have an appointment with my OB on July 28th! We're going to talk about the progesterone supplements and how my post-O temps have been lower since starting it and my LP has been shorter which is the opposite of what is supposed to happen. If this cycle isn't successful it'll be in the middle of cycle 11 so I should be able to get the ball rolling on an RE referral and maybe some initial testing.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? OB didn't order a progesterone test for this cycle but I might request one so that we have an actual number to talk about at the appointment.

GTKY: What is currently your favorite way to relax and escape the pressures of TTCAL? I read a lot, mainly super trashy romance novels.

janelane33

@dpjennifer agreed!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way. It's so annoying. 
@KariAnn323 sorry for your losses, and to hear about what happened with you family. That was super nice of your husband to think of your feelings. I hope your talk with your mom goes well. 

ChloandCoco

@dpjennifer - Thanks for the heads up, I'll google the episode number to know which one to skip.
@KariAnn323 - I'm so sorry for your losses and everything that is happening with your family. At least you know you can count on your husband for support. Good luck with your mom tonight, and if you are worried about her calling/checking up on you could you tell her tonight that you don't want her to do that? Sometimes it's better to be up front about it. 

looeeze

@ChloandCoco I had an MC two weeks ago at 5.5 weeks. I didn't need a d&c either. My OB told me to wait til I got my next AF to try again, and only because it would be easier for her to determine EDD if I got KU. But because I've been charting and will probably know when/if I O, she said it was fine to try again right now. Hope that helps

ChloandCoco

@looeeze - Thanks, that does help! I'm going to use HPTs to get a better idea of when the HCG will be out of my system and then I'll use OPKs. I know OPKs won't tell me if I've actually ovulated, but in case I do, I'll have a general idea of the date. 

looeeze

@ChloandCoco That's exactly what my OB told me to do. She said taking the HPT would be cheaper than coming in for another blood draw. Sorry if I missed this, but are you also temping?

ChloandCoco

@looeeze I'm in Canada, and I'm pretty sure the doctor won't track my HCG levels unless there was something wrong, so internet cheapies it is. I took one last night because I thought I was a SS and since the bleeding stopped my levels would be lower. But no, it was very positive and that was like a slap in the face. I'm not temping, for my last two pregnancies I used OPKs and they were always positive on CD15. Do you still have HCG in your system?

looeeze

@ChloandCoco I'm sorry, that must be rough  I don't have in my system anymore. By the time I went into the ER it had already dropped pretty low. 

ChloandCoco

@looeeze - Ah, ok. I know at the ER last Monday it was started dropping, but it was still at 54,000. So, I'm expecting it to take a few weeks.

icecubeinthedesert

**TW, birth mentioned**You guys, my mom just sent me this text message (she's a nurse BTW) "Helped in OB and saw a baby boy born. An exciting end to my night. Was awake for hours on the excitement." She knows about our first loss, so I'm pretty pissed that she doesn't get that this might be a sensitive issue for me. And she doesn't really text me that regularly, so this was kind of out of the blue. Thanks Mom!**end TW**

@ChloandCoco, sorry to see you back here. I'll add to what others that I was only told to wait until first AF. This is actually the current recommendation after a MC from ACOG. But the bottom line is that with a blighted ovum, which doctor you see is not going to make a difference, unfortunately. There's nothing you did wrong, but I understand the feeling of wanting to know why and worrying about whether there's something else you could have done. 

@kariann323, that's so strange about your progesterone experience! I wonder what would cause that? I definitely had a longer LP (usually 12 days, but stopped progesterone at 14 days and didn't get AF until 16 or 17 dpo), but would have to say my temps were about the same or maybe a hair lower than normal, but that could just be a fluke cycle.

ChloandCoco

@icecubeinthedesert - I'm sorry your mom texted you that. It's definitely very hard when you don't think you have to put your guard up with certain people and then they go and make a comment like that. 

KariAnn323

@dpjennifer I'm glad you're feeling better now. I hope the positive feelings continue.
@icecubeinthedesert Yay for early O! That's horrible about your mom and your coworker. Yeah, my body is being super weird on progesterone. I really wish I could get in with my OB sooner.
@looeeze I'm sorry about work. Out of curiosity what do you do? Yay for successfully avoiding sweets!
@janelane33 Yay for O'ing. Long cycles can be the worst
@ChloandCoco I'm so sorry for your loss! Of course you are more than welcome to hangout here. I also find the dailies hard sometimes. This is a shitty club to be in, but these women are so amazingly supportive that it makes it a little bit better.

AFM: The talk did my mom did not go very well. Most of it was a bitch fest by her about how hurt she was. She basically said that our issues with TTC suck but it was a shitty excuse. She also said that we should be telling everyone what is going on. She really doesn't understand at all which I suppose makes sense. She got KU with me the first month they tried. I just wish she would make more of an effort.

icecubeinthedesert

@kariann323, I'm sorry your mom doesn't understand. My mom is much like yours. She's never experienced a MC and doesn't know how to approach the subject. Heck, my younger brother was a happy accident when she was AMA. So she just doesn't talk about what happened to me and instead talks about everyone who's having babies. Not sure of the logic on that one. Maybe part of my problem is that I don't talk to her about it much, but when I try to, she changes the subject to something else, so it's clear she's uncomfortable about it. Try to remember that this is a temporary roadblock in our lives, and while we wish our families could be supportive of it, sometimes its just something we need to get through, even if it's on our own. 

janelane33

@icecubeinthedesert Sorry that your mom sent that text, it's really insensitive. I hate how everyone forgets that a loss happened and goes about their normal lives while those of us who have had one have to pick up the pieces everyday just to carry on. I don't expect people to walk on egg shells, but at least thinking before they spoke would be nice.
@KariAnn323 Sorry to hear the talk with you mom didn't go well either. Even if she doesn't understand, what she said was pretty mean. You did what was right for you at the moment and no one should make you feel badly for that. I hope she will come around and be more understanding. My mom isn't always the most supportive person either when I need her to be, so I totally understand how that feels.
@ChloandCoco with my mmc they tracked my blood work until it was at zero again, I am also in Canada, I went every week until it had gone back own to normal. I had been 8wks along but the loss happened at 6 wks, it took a month for my levels to return to zero. But the home tests do work just as well, although they usually only will be able to detect hcg to 25meq/ml, so they may start to show negative before all the hcg is actually out of your system. Hoping it goes quickly for you. 

dpjennifer

@icecubeinthedesert Ugh… mom’s just don’t seem to get it usually! Sorry for the giant TW to your night. 

@KariAnn323 Sorry for unsupportive mother. I feel EXACTLY the same about my mom making an effort! But, I think MC is just something people do not understand unless they’ve been through it, esp. RPL. I can’t tell you the number of times my mother has tried to ‘help’ by saying things that make me horribly upset. Or that she’ll say that it’s just a part of life and that I can’t avoid people and babies forever. I told her I couldn’t handle Mother’s Day this year and she did what your mom did, and made it all about her and how upset she was. She seems so callous and unsympathetic, and yet at the same time I know she cares about me greatly. I recently had ANOTHER conversation with her (after she mentioned every random person in the entire area I grew up in that was PG) and it finally occurred to her that she had no idea how to help me or what to say…. A year and a half after our first loss.  So, hopefully things with your mom will get better for you... but I guess know that she probably means well but has no idea what you're going through and doesn't realize how hurtful her words can be. 

@janelane33 Exactly! I feel like with MC, if people know about it, they’re super sympathetic for a few days or a week… and then it’s like no big deal and you should be over it. I wish they would treat us the way that they treat anyone who’s lost a loved one that they had physically seen.

ChloandCoco

@janelane33 - Thanks for letting me know. Once I hear back from my GP about the US results today I'll ask if I can go in for bloodwork. And I know the HPTs won't show anything below 25meq/ml, but if I can't do the bloodwork at least it will give me a general idea that I'm close. I'm a planner, and tracking HCG gives me some idea of a timeline.
@KariAnn323 - I'm really sorry your talk with your mom didn't go well. Like what dpjennifer said, people really have no idea what it's like to go through a loss unless they've experienced it themselves.