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mega-sensei

Hi guys!
Where do I begin? My name is Meg and I'm 26 years old. I've been married to my hubby for 5 years, together for 10 (since high school). In September 2015, we decided to "pull the goalie" and start a family. We were both working, had great health insurance, and an extra room. I have always dreamed of being a mother since I was a little kid, and I was so excited to finally have a baby. Every woman in my family who has children got pregnant at the drop of a hat, so I pictured getting pregnant as easy. My cousin, who recently got married, was eager to start a family as well. We are very close, so we wanted to be pregnant together.
Well, a couple of months went by, and nothing happened. My cousin got pregnant in December, and I still tried. I figured, "It's only been a couple of months, so it's okay." Month after month went by. Within the first year of us trying, 8 family members, friends, and co-workers announced their pregnancies. I started to get discouraged. My hubby and I are young, we shouldn't be having this problem.
A couple more months went by, and nothing happened. I tracked my period, checked my temperature, my mucus, and my cervix position. I bought ovulation strips and vitamins and TTC lube. We tried different positions, different times of day, had sex every day and every other day of my cycle, I put my legs up afterward and didn't get out of bed for a half hour. I read tons of websites on what to do, what not to do, what's wrong, what's right. I prayed to God, Jesus, Buddha, and Xenu. And nothing happened.
After about a year and a couple months, my husband and I went to the doctor. They gave us all the paperwork and told us that they needed a sperm sample. And wouldn't you know it, there was so much pressure to produce a sample that nothing happened (after several attempts). We could not get a sample. At this point, I had entered such a funk that I didn't want to try anymore. We decided to take a break from the baby making. Our marriage was starting to suffer. I was frustrated with the lack of forward momentum, and he was frustrated that I was becoming a basket case. Blame shifted back and forth. Something had to give somewhere.
Today, almost 2 years in, we are trying again, and we are getting serious about seeing a specialist. I joined the board because, at 26, all of my friends are either not thinking about kids yet or get pregnant easily. Some (read: a bunch) got pregnant on accident. No one in my family and friend circle can relate. Most of my circle doesn't even know, so fielding the "when are YOU gonna have a baby?" questions gets harder and harder to deal with. This month, I have attended 4 baby showers, and I have had a breakdown after every single one of them (all family related--we're close-knit so an absence would be very suspicious).
In short, we have no idea what we are doing. Neither one of us ever pictured ourselves being in this position, and we are so lost. Every month gets harder and harder to deal with, and I need help (advice, experience, mental sanity, and friendship).
Thank you.

Labluver2

So sorry you find yourself here but this is a wonderful group of woman and we all have the same goal but are all in different stages of our jouney. Have you seen an RE? I know you said you saw a Dr but wasn't sure if it was just your reg gyno or a RE. This process Def has its ups and down especially when you want something so bad and it just doesn't happen. I've learned to try and relax bc stress can effect conceiving. I do yoga go for long walks spa days.

Hopeful_mom

Welcome and sorry you find yourself here! This board is great and you'll find a lot of info on them.  Infertility is a bad word apparently that people don't discuss, it's ok and it's no ones fault. You'll find stories on here that have unexplained infertility and get pregnant through iui and don't even have to do ivf.  We all have different journeys on how we start a family and this is yours.
I understand the samples are tough for hubbies at times that why we do our at home and bring it in.  The first step is really getting everything checked out on both front and taking it from there.  Did you have an hsg which shows your tubes aren't blocked? You hope there isn't a problem and then your RE will take the next steps.  
I was on other forums and found this site after I went to a specialist and found out I have low amh and I'm old, was 39 at the time BUT I should've gotten pregnant the 2/3 years prior of TTC.  It's still unexplained as low amh truly means my clock is a time bomb and age is a big number in my factor, unfortunately some woman at 25 will have the same outcome you just never kno.  I found a low amh thread on here and was up all night reading like it was a novel I couldn't put down.  It was started almost a year prior so I got to learn so much, read the heartbreak and all the SUCCESS!!! It does happen for some its fast and others it takes more time.  It was just helpful to read and get a glimpse of the journey.  Do you have a follow up appt? What are your next steps?

Sugarbreak

Welcome to the group! You have my deepest sympathies. I can relate to so much of what you've described and hope that this board can be a source of comfort for you. I think it's a good step to get connected with others who can understand what you're going through. It might even be a good idea to find a group IRL or see a therapist who specializes in infertility. (I did the latter and it helped immensely.)

Infertility issues can be so overwhelming. I think it's important to stay as grounded as possible. While you're taking a break and deciding your next move, take good care of yourself. 

Sugarbreak

P.S. Re: your husband's issue. Don't hesitate to discuss your fears or anxieties with your Dr., RE, nurse, etc. and see if they can make accommodations. For example, due to past trauma, I have a big issue with male doctors, so my clinic has accommodated me and made sure I only see female nurses and technicians. If your hubs is having issues producing a samples, is it possible for him to try at home and deliver the sample to the clinic? I feel like a good clinic will do their best to accommodate and they must have some kind of alternate protocol for this scenario. I'm sure it's not uncommon.

mega-sensei

Thank you ladies! I've been to my gyno, and she told me that my uterus and cervix are fine. Hubby went to the urologist yesterday, and was told that everything appeared to be in the right place. As for the trouble with getting a sperm sample, the urologist didn't talk much about it other than to keep trying. Our fertility office has specialized condoms for collecting samples, so we'll try that. My fertility doctor doesn't want to do much to me until after we rule out any issue on my husband's side of things, so we're kind of stuck until we get this problem sorted out.

Sugarbreak

@mega-sensei Waiting is one of the hardest parts about infertility and pursuing treatments, at least it has been for me. 

[Deleted User]

Welcome!  We used a perforated collection condom for our first sample too.  That may be easier to do at home, but then you just have to hurry hurry to drive the sample over lol good times. GL with everything though getting to the bottom of it. ;)  (((hugs)))