FFFC 6/9

[Deleted User]

For all my fellow LOTR fans out there

*not guaranteed to be flame-free*

Ready4theParty

I have not brushed my teeth in a week.  The thought of even putting a toothbrush in my mouth makes me gag. Not to mention the texture of toothpaste or mouthwash right now sends me over the edge. I've been scrubbing my teeth with a washcloth in the shower each morning.

Dani0329

@Ready4theParty
Difficulty brushing my teeth, one reason I tested. It is a struggle morning and night. 

FFFC: I don't agree with judging parents, but I judge poor car seat safety. It makes my skin crawl. 

Cricket99

@Ready4theParty right there with you. Mostly because of the texture as well. I've been just brushing with water... at least it's better than nothing.

@Dani0329 I harshly judge poor car seat safety! I had to tell a friend that it was not ok to put her baby in a snowsuit in the car seat. That was a fun conversation.

As for me: I grabbed Burger King for lunch and the toddler's afternoon snack was my left over fries. Sorry not sorry.

GraceUponGrace09

@Ready4theParty Wow, sorry it's been so bad for you. I feel like if I didn't brush my teeth for a week the smell of my breath would give me MS! Lol. 

@Dani0329 SAME! One of my biggest pet peeves!

FFFC: I might get flamed for this but I gotta admit yesterday when the"debate" was going on about women's body shape and LLR leggings, I wanted to yell, "Fight, fight, fight!" I'm hungry for some bump drama. We're all so niiiice! 

You did not hear me say this. (Runs for cover) 

Shanski70

@GraceUponGrace09 I'm sure it's just a matter of time until something causes an uproar on our board.  On the whole, I'm actually kind of relieved our board is nice (I'm not great with confrontation in real life or the interwebs).

FFFC: My husband's family is real big on going to every single male child's sporting events.  It is so bizarre to me.  When I grew up, most of the time my own parents hardly attended my sporting events, let alone my Aunts and Uncles-they NEVER came to a game/meet.  I refuse to go to any of them on three points: 1) I resent the hell out of the fact that they make a big deal out of the male's events but no one even acknowledges the girls events; 2) I've got better things to do with my time than go to jr high/high school sporting events (even if its just a nap); 3) My kids are so much younger than the rest of the family I sincerely doubt that a single one of my in-laws will even remotely pretend to feign interest in their sporting events when they're old enough to play.

GraceUponGrace09

@Shanski70 Yes, I'm glad it's nice/friendly here too. I prefer the boards the way they are now verses when I was on 4 years ago. However, some bump drama every now and then is super entertaining. 

[Deleted User]

@Ready4theParty wow that sucks. I've only gagged a couple times while brushing my teeth, but that was bad enough. I hope you're over that aversion soon!

@Shanski70 that pisses me off to no end. It was like that at my high school with hardly anyone coming to the girls' events and the whole school turning up for the boys, just because "girls sports aren't as exciting." WTF?

@GraceUponGrace09 yeah I'm sure something will come along, but our BMB does seem relatively tame so far. I had to say something yesterday because 1. I'm really struggling with this PP body and trying to accept it. Everyone is different, shouldn't we embrace that? and 2. Just because I choose to wear comfortable, loose clothing doesn't mean that I'm automatically someone who lets herself go. I'm just learning how to dress this new body in a way that still makes me feel beautiful. Thankfully I'll have a bump soon and can go back to the tighter t-shirts and not feel like I have something to cover up!

My FFFC: I don't clean up DD's messes during the day-I leave her pile of toys, all the movies she pulls off the shelf, and various other disasters for when DH comes home and he cleans it all up 

sbishop426

I let my dog eat whatever my son drops on the floor from his highchair. I'm not sweeping up every time. I also rarely clean his pacifier when he drops it on the floor. It's too much effort plus I like to think it's building up his little immune system. I'm that mom. I do sweep a couple times a week and vacuum weekly (most of the time) so our house is relatively clean but I'm definitely not doing that every day.

jakobaby

@sbishop426 Lol I don't clean floors or bathrooms. Not because I can't get my hands dirty, but because I have a cleaning lady for that. The dog is on floor duty and my husband vacuums in the interim.

My FFFC: I told on a coworker today for being an idiot. Honestly, I normally stay out of it but I can't take her shit anymore. 

muchwanted

I feel worse if I don't brush my teeth. I've brushed more since my BFP.

FFFC: I've tried the Doppler every other day for the past two weeks with no success. With DD I found it easily the first time I tried at 9 weeks, and it's irritating me that I can't find it with this one. As a repeat loss mom, hearing it briefly would really help my anxiety. 

Ready4theParty

@GraceUponGrace09. I really wanted to say something but I don't feel like I know people well enough, as far as if they struggle with body image, used to have an eating disorder, ect.  

This may be another FFFC but I don't think mom's intentionally let themselves go, and I don't think LLR or yoga pants help a mom let herself go.  Kudos to the moms that eat healthy and work out regularly during pregnancy but that's not me.  When pregnant and with a newborn I do what I can to survive.  Priorities definitely change.  With my first two I gained 25 and 18 lbs.  I lost most of the baby weight in the first month, and by the time baby was 6 mo I was back to pre baby weight but that doesn't mean I have my pre baby body back.  I don't expect to ever get that back.  I wear my yoga pants because they let me play with my kids better than my jeans, fat or skinny.  I don't spend an hour a day working out because I'd rather spend my time with my kids.  That doesn't mean I am not healthy.  My BMI says I am overweight, but all my vitals will tell you I am in great health.  I didn't let myself go, I accepted the change and challenge that is being mom.  And before anyone says I need to also put myself first...I do, it's just not the same way it was with one child or childless.

[Deleted User]

@Ready4theParty can I love tit that twice?

I debated putting this in a previous post, but I struggled with some disordered eating in high school. Those thoughts never really go away unfortunately. I'm very thankful to have been in a good place for awhile now, but those types of comments still touch a nerve. Not trying to beat a dead horse, but this is something I feel really strongly about and I will speak up in case there's a mom out there somewhere who may not have that voice.

Ready4theParty

@schaze I am sorry to hear about your disorder.  I struggle with body image, and after high school was put on meds that caused weight loss (unrelated).  The comments from people telling me how proud they were I got healthy we constant.  But in truth I wasnt healthy because I had a BF at time who was emotionally abusive and my then 130 lbs was not small enough (his sister was a semi pro model).  While I didn't have a diagnosed eating disorder people thought I did and it may have been borderline.  I now sit at 200 lbs and people keep telling me I need to get healthy and it rubs me wrong because I am in more ways than one healthier than I was at my "healthy" weight.  Your not alone.

[Deleted User]

@Ready4theParty hugs, momma. Mental and emotional health are just as important, if not more so sometimes, than physical health.

PleaseSendPicklesNow

@ready4theparty I get it. I couldn't have gotten through my last pregnancy without my tiny, Disney children's toothbrush.  I think it had Cinderella on it, if I remember correctly. My husband laughed at it, but it was the only way I could brush my teeth without vomiting! 

My confession: I think people who refuse genetic testing because "I wouldn't have an abortion, no matter what," are looking at it the wrong way. Because if you're going to have that baby no matter what, don't you want to be prepared to help them? If they have a rare genetic disease or syndrome, don't you want to give birth at a hospital with a level 4 NICU, with specialists who know their syndrome on hand to help them? I mean... duh?

Or is it only important to give birth instead of having an abortion, and then whatever happens to the baby afterward doesn't matter? I really don't get it. 

Edited to add: Maybe some of that bump drama y'all crave is on its way now! 

madcouplewithabox

I'm going to an event and the underwear I had on was making me feel even more pudgy than I already do, and I couldn't go home for new ones...so I took them off... I'm in a dress. 

EmilyLove25

@PleaseSendPicklesNow I agree 100%. I personally would want to do whatever causes the least suffering and just be prepared to provide immediate emotional needs especially if the child would only live hours.

On the body image stuff-I am that awful person who just wears leggings to any semi professional work event and pair it with flowy tank tops or sweaters... umm, it's just comfortable! And I really don't need anyone enjoying my form fitting clothing aside from DH. BUT hugs and love to anyone struggling with body image or fearful of how their body will respond after birth OR feeling guilty for not eating clean or perfectly right now. Your body--of which your mind is a part--knows what it needs and tells you. I believe so much in trusting our bodies. The female body is the most miraculous thing on this planet--big small frumpy dresses to the 9s naked torn up after birth up 50 pounds down 20.... in all forms. It grows life!!!!!!

PS Disregard pregnancy hormone excess

Ready4theParty

@PleaseSendPicklesNow we didn't do genetic testing with DD2 "because we would love it no matter what" but also because we got jerked around by our medical team with DD1.  Results came back in the high but normal range that DD had some heart issues at the 12 week tests.  We saw an expensive specialist who performed an echo on DD1 in utero and determined she had a small hole in her heart.  We got a second opinion that had a worse diagnosis that DDs hole was growing as she grew and it might not be repaired.  They prepared us for the worst.  We ended up transferring to a new medical team when DH got relocated two months before my due date and they pretty much laughed at us for all the wasted money and time because everything is too small and an echo wasn't reliable.  We were still prepared for something to be wrong.  DD1 was born perfect no defects, no issue.  

PleaseSendPicklesNow

@ready4theparty I've never heard of a test at 12 weeks that can detect a higher likelihood of cardiac defects--that's so cool! What kind of test is it? The science nerd in me is jumping up and down. 

With our first, I had a non-invasive genetic test around 13 weeks. But only detected Trisomies 13, 18, and 21. If only it had included information about his heart!!!

When did they do your daughter's echo? Our son's first echo was at 24 weeks. This time, our doctor wants to schedule one between 16 and 18 weeks because of our sad new family history of congenital heart defects.  Do you think that's too early? 

ecolton01

I know I'm late the the party : .... but wine ...when people try to give me the line of bullshit that wine is "ok " during pregnancy it drives me insane and even more so when I see preggo ladies drinking it ! I mean it's 9 months , does it suck sometime , absolutely but I could never ever justify drinking wine while pregnant. I am not sure if it is just coincidental but every women I know that drank wine while pregnant have children with HUGE heads , including my sister !! She would have sometimes 2 glasses late in pregnancy with dinner more then one night a week and I would barely sit at the table when we were at family functions  ... I have herd it all that there is no evidence of actual harm yadada yada but for me I think it is just obserd .  

scatteringashes

@PleaseSendPicklesNow My husband and I are declining genetic testing, 80% for practical reasons: our insurance is strictly okay, and without any reason to suspect something is wrong, a lot of that testing has to come out of pocket. We don't have that. So we have tackle those hits when they come, if they come. 

I don't know if we would make a different decision if we had disposable income. 

On the topic of body image and positivity: I will fight Everyone and Anyone on the topic, all the time. I grew up fat (neutral descriptor) and struggle with binge eating and mental health issues -- and I grew up spending my whole life feelings shitty and inferior because I don't know how to instinctively eat "normally". So now I fight for literally everyone to be their best self in their own body, because absolutely no human deserves that shit. 

Also my feminism is loud and assertive, so. 

GraceUponGrace09

@ecolton01 Oh man, don't get me started on that one. Which to be fair, our adopted son has been diagnosed with FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome) and it absolutely breaks my heart to see the ways he struggles and will continue to struggle his whole life. It's completely preventable and makes my blood boil when I see/hear of mom's being careless with it! 

PleaseSendPicklesNow

@scatteringashes "Insurance doesn't cover it, and it costs too much out of pocket" is a VERY good reason not to do it! It's only that very specific line of reasoning I mentioned above that drives me crazy and seems illogical.

scatteringashes

@PleaseSendPicklesNow I feel you.   

Ready4theParty

@PleaseSendPicklesNow we did the non evasive testing at 12 weeks.  But it was just the usual.  We had the first echo at 22 weeks the second was at 32 weeks.

PleaseSendPicklesNow

@ready4theparty Cool, I didn't know there was a noninvasive test that can detect heart conditions.  I'll ask my doctor about it, thanks.