Finding the Right OBGYN practice

mcrosie

I really, really like my OBGYN - she's great, honest, helpful, reassuring, etc.

My problem is that the practice has 4 doctors and you deliver with whoever is on call. So they want you to see all 4 doctors throughout your pregnancy. Today I went in because I thought I had a yeast infection or UTI (I've never had either) and the doctor who could see me wasn't my regular doc. She was, quite frankly, awful. She went through my whole medical history and really interrogated me on why I was taking a specific medication, then criticized my regular doctor's decision to not send me to the high risk clinic until my second trimester ("I don't know why she does that. I always tell her she should send people early") and said some really harsh things about my weight (not what I've gained - I've actually lost 5 pounds in the first trimester - but my pre-pregnancy weight). All of this was before she ever looked at my vagina to see what was up - you know, the reason I came in. I left feeling worried, confused, stressed, and really upset. I didn't like that she was so harshly criticizing my regular doc, and I found the contradictory information really confusing.

Now I don't know what to do. From reviews, I'm not the only person who's had a lot of issues with this second doctor (apparently she's really harsh with overweight women too). I could probably get away without seeing her again throughout the pregnancy, but I don't know about delivering with her. How much does it matter who delivers you? Should I talk to my regular doc about the contradictory instructions?

Lizbeth86

Ugh I'm sorry, that stinks. I'd talk to your dr about not wanting to see that other dr for your visits, who needs to feel stressed and crappy leaving a routine visit.

With my first I chose an OB who was alone in his practice bc I thought I preferred to know who would be there for my delivery. He was great for prenatal care and he was there for delivery but he got impatient and pressured me to do an unnecessary c-section (which I know was unnecessary bc I chose to wait and LO was born a few hours later with no hiccups whatsoever).

So now I'd probably pick a practice with drs on call and not worry who was there at delivery because if things go the way they should (and the dr lets things happen naturally), your labor nurse will matter more than your dr.

jakobaby

In my experience, I had the same attending OB throughout my prenatal care. On D Day, I didn't know a single person. I ended up with a great midwife and better yet, a kickass nurse. It was a great experience and I didn't care who was catching, I just wanted him out!

mcrosie

Thanks @jakobaby and @Lizbeth86. So it sounds like I should probably just stick with my current doc, ignore the 25% chance that this doc is at delivery, and not worry that much because it doesn't really matter at that point?

There's another practice near me that gets really good reviews but it's only 2 docs and you go with the luck of the draw for whoever is at the hospital when you deliver. I wonder if I should check them out.

sbishop426

Mine is a small practice too, just my OB and midwife but they partner with another small practice and have an on call rotation. They share a similar philosophy of being hands off during labor which drew me in because first time around my OB who was also the one to deliver was very pushy and kept pressuring me to have a C-section. Luckily for me I'm stubborn and didn't give in to the pressure and delivered vaginally which very obviously annoyed her (you could tell she was getting impatient and wanted to go home, she was getting ready to go on vacation). Point being, I think it's important that you feel comfortable with everyone in the practice and you advocate for yourself. Is it an option to not see that particular doctor? She sounds rude and I would want to avoid seeing her if it were me. 

Lizbeth86

It's a really tough decision and I'm not sure what I'd do in your situation. We are so vulnerable! Maybe talk to your dr about your concern and see if you can get more comfortable? Otherwise maybe you could visit the other practice and see if you're more comfortable there?

I'm so jaded from my first experience that I'm now more focused on a practice's philosophy on unnecessary interventions more than any particular doctor, but that's my issue when I'm getting comfortable.

mcrosie

sbishop426 
I think its an option as long as I don't have any last-minute appointments where I see whoever is available. I think I might try to call my doctor next week and tell her that her colleague was questioning her decisions and said some really upsetting things to me that directly contradicted what she said, and that I'm really concerned. I'd be LIVID if I were a doctor and a colleague did that to me.

mcrosie

I'm also planning to hire a doula for the birth. I'm not all about a natural birth, but I'm actually kind of a stressed-out spazz and I like the idea of someone there who can help advocate for me or explain things that are confusing, if that makes sense.

Merinmac

I think it's a good idea to talk to your regular doctor about what happened! Even putting aside the rudeness and the criticism, you should not be getting conflicting information from 2 doctors at the same practice. Especially if they expect patients to see all of them. They definitely need to sort that out among themselves ASAP.

And as far as delivery, under normal circumstances the doctor only swoops in at the last minute, and at that point you do not care if it's your doctor or the bad doctor or Andre the Giant down there. She's certainly not going to give you crap about your weight while you're crowning, and if she did, you would have the universe's permission to kick her in the face.

Sorry you're having to go through this! Finding the right doctor is hard. Be open and honest with the one you like, and hopefully you'll never have to see the bad one again.

KatieEl

I agree that the doctor is not with you while you're laboring and does come at the end to catch the baby; however, and to me this is a rather large however, the are monitoring your progress and making recommendations/pressuring you into certain choices while you are there, either directly or through your nurses (e.g. ordering pitocin or telling you that the'll only "let" you have X amount of time left to dilate/push/what-have-you).  If theres a doctor who thinks that you can't deliver or are to overweight to deliver vaginally or what not they may try to convince you to use interventions earlier than you're comfortable with or even advocate for early inductions/c-sections.  I think it depends on what kind of birth you're aiming to have, if you're looking to minimize those types of interventions you may wish to seek out other practices.

I switched practices at 16 weeks with DS1 and have zero regrets, as the larger OBGYN practice I'd been seeing had a C-section rate around 42%  and anecdotally pressured numerous friends into early induction and scheduled c-sections, something I was trying to avoid.  Even if you look at other practices and ultimately decide to stay with the practice you're currently seeing I imagine it will give you a great peace of mind to know you looked at your options and made the best choice.

Finally, I cannot overstate enough how wonderful I think doulas are for ALL kinds of birth: medicated, unmedicated, scheduled C-sections, etc.  They're a wonderful source of support and information.  Your doula can also be a wonderful reference when it comes to the reputation of doctors/care-providers in your area.  Good luck!

mcrosie

Thank you all so much - this is really, really helpful. For those of you who switched practices, was it difficult at all?

KatieEl

Switching was super easy: I made the appointment with the new practice, called the old practice to cancel an existing appointment and ask where to send a request for medical records. They didn't even ask why I was leaving.

PleaseSendPicklesNow

@mcrosie I switched practices twice during my last pregnancy because my son had serious health problems that made us progressively more and more high risk and required different specialists. I switched once at 20 weeks, and again at 37 weeks.

Switching practices can be tough if you're doing it at the end. I felt a little lost the second time. But the switch at 20 weeks was honestly no big deal. I had time to form a good relationship with the wonderful woman who did my prenatal care from 20-37 weeks. I think the important thing is finding a midwife or doctor you really really click with. If you can get that, the switch will be smooth.

FireLily0

@mcrosie Sorry that you had a difficult appointment with the one doc, unfortunately they are not all created equal with bedside manner. I would follow up with your original physician about anything you are not sure about, just to give yourself piece of mind. 

Kezzy44

I'm sorry you had such a stressful experience. That is the complete opposite of how your appointment should go! 

There are 9 Drs in my practice abd with my first, one rubbed me the wrong way (happened to be the only male, too). I took the gamble because everyone else is great. This time around they tried to schedule me with him and I said no!

i agree with others to look into a doula. Then there will definitely be at least one person there who you feel comfortable with and is on your side. I wish I had with my first! DH and I were so clueless. 

mcrosie

Thanks everyone who weighed in here! I talked to my doctor today about the whole thing, and she said the doctor I met with is REALLY cautious and she (my doctor) isn't worried. We had a frank talk about my weight and how I should try to avoid gaining very much, which I am totally

GraceUponGrace09

@KatieEl I'm curious how you found out what the c-section rate was for the practice you were with. I know the hospital I'll be using is one of the lowest in the state but don't know about the specific practice I'm considering.

KatieEl

@GraceUponGrace09 oh gosh! You're taxing my mama brain memory lol.  I know I went down the wormhole of google, and I think I found the hospital stats first, which were the highest i'd ever seen, and when I called the practice I just asked them what their stats were like in comparison to the hospital stats and I was told they were "comparable" which was enough for me to say: see ya!