FFFC

elisek

RE: public BF
I usually don't care in the slightest, but one time I was at an acquaintance's house for an all-women's fantasy football league draft. Her coworker was there for it as well and brought her husband and twin sons. They seemed pretty darn old. One came over and pulled down her shirt and she whipped it out for each of them. I went and fb stalked her later and determined they were over 3. That one made me a bit uncomfortable, mostly because it seemed like an appeasement and not anything necessary for nutrition or soothing. My mom BF me until 2 and I'm certainly not going to tell anyone what to do, but it felt like a weird choice to whip it out in an intimate setting around people she'd never met when it clearly was a voluntary time.

 

pebbledam

@elisek - yeahhhh, that would have been weird. I'm not going to tell someone that their kids are too old be be BF, but 3 is way too old for me. Is it selfish of me to want my body back earlier than that? Don't care.

heatherdubrow

In most states the law says that anywhere a woman can be, she can breastfeed there (not sure the actual wording). It doesn't bother me at all, cover or not. Breasts are not sexual, they're for feeding babies. I think most people need to unclench about it. 
Having said that, again, I always used a cover. I was out to dinner with my whole family and pulled out my cover at the table and my brother looked completely horrified. 'Do you really have to do that here??' were his exact words. So I do get that it bothers people in general. I still think it's no big deal.

Cricket648

I don't care about BFing in public with or without a cover. If I have a baby, I can't imagine that I would BF without a cover, just becasue I don't think I would want to feel that exposed in public. But, I really don't care what other people do. Also, I'd much rather see a boob than have to listen to a screaming baby, so I support public BFing for entirely selfish reasons. 

doxiemoxie212

Re: formula v breast, im def pro breastfeeding when it's possible but I will say DH is the eldest of 4 boys, he's the only one that was breastfed, and he's the only one with asthma lol lol also the only one with crazy food allergies, only one that's lactose intolerant. Toss up if he's the smartest (youngest might have him beat), but I doubt that was infant feeding related lol. 

pebbledam

Cricket648 said:

I don't care about BFing in public with or without a cover. If I have a baby, I can't imagine that I would BF without a cover, just becasue I don't think I would want to feel that exposed in public. But, I really don't care what other people do. Also, I'd much rather see a boob than have to listen to a screaming baby, so I support public BFing for entirely selfish reasons. 

^^ This 100%

FWIW, I would use a cover because I don't like drawing attention to myself.

@heatherdubrow - I don't think my brothers would care at all if I wanted to BF at the table. Were you and your brother BF? My mom was always really nonchalant about the fact that she BF all of us. That's probably why I don't think it's weird. We actually talked about it from time to time.

elisek

Someone force me to stop avoiding work!

FFFC... each TWW I go lurk on the potential BMB to see if I'd fit in or like the culture of it. 

fishsticks-n-custard

elisek said:

Someone force me to stop avoiding work!

FFFC... each TWW I go lurk on the potential BMB to see if I'd fit in or like the culture of it. 

Yup, I've been doing this too. 

heatherdubrow

@pebbledam he's in his 20's, not married, not thinking about kids. So it weirds him out. I'm sure when he gets married and has kids that will change. My older brother is totally cool about it.

lulu1180

@elisek I used to do that too....I think I stopped about 6 months in

Avrilmai

@elisek I've been doing that for the last few months. I think it makes it that much harder when AF arrives. I keep telling myself I'll stop. I haven't yet. It's also a bit of a gut punch when I see names I recognize from the intro thread but didn't get to know bc they moved on so quickly.  It is its own special kind of torture. 

TravelingCouple

heatherdubrow said:

In most states the law says that anywhere a woman can be, she can breastfeed there (not sure the actual wording). It doesn't bother me at all, cover or not. Breasts are not sexual, they're for feeding babies. I think most people need to unclench about it. 
Having said that, again, I always used a cover. I was out to dinner with my whole family and pulled out my cover at the table and my brother looked completely horrified. 'Do you really have to do that here??' were his exact words. So I do get that it bothers people in general. I still think it's no big deal.

Exactly, it's not sexual and it really bothers me when people go crazy about public BFing. Um, would you rather my child goes hungry? 

As for the cover, one size does not fit all, metaphorically speaking. I tried a cover but my DS wanted nothing to do with that. He'd swat it off. By summer it was WAY too hot for that so I used the 2 shirt method. BF doesn't have be full boobs out, but I'm not ever going to judge a Mom based on how she feeds, BF, formula, cover or no cover. You have no clue what's​ going on in the daily life but I promise you most (if not all) moms aren't doing it for attention. They're just trying to feed their hungry kid in whatever way is most comfortable for baby and mom.


My FFFC: Today's doughnut day... DH brought home half a dozen during his lunch break and there's only 2 left. So much regret.

mschanandlerbong1214

*TW - kids mentioned** 

I still BF my 2.5 year old regularly. It calms him down and that's sometimes how he falls asleep still. Other times it's total appeasement though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

As for public BFing - I used to try to cover because I was self conscious but it was a bigger pain in the ass trying to keep my flailing child latched and covered than it was to be modest without the cover. 

My FFFC - DH and I are trying Shettles method to hopefully up our chance at a girl since I'm two boys deep and our next kid will probably be our last. I know it's totally not proven to work but I figure it couldn't hurt lol

vflux33

@elisek @Avrilmai I do it too, but not to see if I'd fit as much as learn stuff about first tri and see how grads I like are doing. *TW I don't have any KU friends except my sister and she's not exactly a reliable narrator lol *End TW I probably lurk D 18 the most even though I obviously couldn't make it in b/c there are so many TTGP grads there. FWIW, I have learned a TON lurking BMBs. So even though it is kind of masochistic I still keep doing it. I probably should have stopped at 6 months like @lulu1180, but I actually started at a year TTC (which is probably much more masochistic).

heatherdubrow

@mschanandlerbong1214 doesnt that lower your chances of conceiving since you're not BDing as many times during your FW? Maybe it's my IF brain but that seems crazy.

mschanandlerbong1214

heatherdubrow said:

@mschanandlerbong1214 doesnt that lower your chances of conceiving since you're not BDing as many times during your FW? Maybe it's my IF brain but that seems crazy.

I don't know. Well still be BDing everyday during FW just not after O. It's a very relaxed version lol especially since my cycles are still weird and predicting everything is a pain. 

heatherdubrow

@mschanandlerbong1214 it was always my understanding you couldn't get pregnant after O...

hedgepig

Wow, this is long and there's too much for me to get all the tags right, so I'm just going to leave them off.

RE: Babies and Kids
I think babies are pretty darned ugly most of the time, although there are some who are way cute right away. I like the baby stage, but I DON'T like the toddler stage. I get super bored with playing with/chasing around toddlers and I just want them to get old enough to talk.

RE: Breastfeeding
All of this has been said very eloquently already - I definitely get uncomfortable when a mom whips her boob out to BF in front of me, BUT, I wouldn't want her to not do that, especially not because of me. I get uncomfortable because bare breasts are not something that we see everyday, so I feel curious about it, but embarrassed because I'm looking at something that I'm not normally supposed to be seeing, and I don't want to make her uncomfortable, so it winds up being really distracting. However, that will only change if more women BF publicly so that we can all get used to seeing more boobs!

@doxiemoxie212 So sorry about the vertigo! Do you know what's causing it? I had some last year and it wound up being allergy related. Don't feel bad about complaining, it's really the worst

doxiemoxie212

@mschanandlerbong1214 @heatherdubrow I thought the girl method of shettles was to basically only have sex 3-4 days before O or something, boy method was like 2-O (so yeah, boy method leads to more babies generally) 

doxiemoxie212

@hedgepig I spoke to a doc today who said it's likely viral (it has a weird name I can't remember but sounds like labyrinth to me), which makes sense since I've been having this temperature regulation issue, and every time I lay down from the dizziness I fall asleep (but am still able to sleep through the night, etc., so I'm sleeping like 16 hours a day). I just don't have a cough or stuffy nose or sore throat or anything, so I didn't really realize I could be sick, lol. 

hedgepig

@doxiemoxie212 That sounds a little like what was going on with me. Basically I had fluid build up in my ear drums that could be caused by a sinus infection, or other illness, or allergies. My doctor put me on allergy meds and decongestants and it cleared up. I hope you get relief soon... I don't think I've ever been as miserable as I was with the vertigo.

mschanandlerbong1214

Yes @doxiemoxie212 that's how I understood it too. 

fishsticks-n-custard

@doxiemoxie212 Labyrinthitis

doxiemoxie212

@fishsticks-n-custard yes! 

@mschanandlerbong1214 so are you doing a variation of it then? 

heatherdubrow

doxiemoxie212 said:

@mschanandlerbong1214 @heatherdubrow I thought the girl method of shettles was to basically only have sex 3-4 days before O or something, boy method was like 2-O (so yeah, boy method leads to more babies generally) 

That just seems crazy to waste fertile days because you want a particular kind of baby. 

heatherdubrow

Im wearing 4 estrogen patches today and am, admittedly, quite feisty.

zwink1

I think I'm missing something here... I was under the impression that the sperm was the sex selector. Why does the sperm care how many days before O you are? I'm admittedly light on the details of the Shettles method and I'm sure there's more to it than that.

I have no real opinions about BFing in public except that while you certainly have the "right" to do it where ever, rules of common decorum would sort of dictate that you not do it in certain circumstances... I'm referring specifically to instances like courtrooms with court actively ongoing. 

Babies also freak me out, so you peeps aren't alone. I was adverse to holding other people's babies anyway, now IF just gives me an excuse for family members who might be off put by my lack of enthusiasm for their small, wrinkly people.

eggplantface

@zwink1 The Shettles method says that female sperm swim slower but live longer, and male sperm are faster but die sooner, so if you have sex 3-4 days before O the female swimmers will still be alive at O and therefore fertilize the egg. If you have sex close to O the male sperm get there faster and fertilize it. It's all crap though, it's still a 50/50 shot. 

doxiemoxie212

@zwink1 the theory is that girl sperm live longer but are slow and boy sperm die faster buy swim faster, so if you only bang at certain times, perfectly sexed babies. The problem is it's been proven to be less effective at resulting in the desired sex than just randomness. So lol. But I guess if you want a certain sex baby more than you want  any  baby...?

jenotontx

heatherdubrow said:

@mschanandlerbong1214 it was always my understanding you couldn't get pregnant after O...

I was reading about this method on a different site that popped up when I was googling who knows what... the entire idea seems a little crazy to me but apparently the theory is that male sperm swims faster but dies quicker. So you have a better chance of having a girl if you have sex earlier in your FW because the female sperm is more likely to hang out in your body longer for the egg. It is also possible to get KU after O (+1) even though it's unlikely. 

mschanandlerbong1214

@doxiemoxie212 yes. A very relaxed variation. It's mostly just me praying for a girl because I'm the only vag surrounded by peens lol

@heatherdubrow I wouldn't really care either way just we just decided to test it out for the next cycle. But per my WTO r/r he likely won't even be here for this month. 

@zwink1 it still deals with sperm. The method basically says that girl sperm live longer so if you want a girl have sex earlier in your FW. 

zwink1

@eggplantface, @doxiemoxie212, @mschanandlerbong1214 ahhhhhh, I see. Thank you for the explanation! I was missing something.

Hmm, well, one of H's problems is that his team swims slowly, maybe it's just that they're all female and the urologist hasn't wanted to burst his bubble...or not.

pebbledam

Even though I'm totes not willing to forfeit any days during FW to try the Shettles method, I do hope that we have a girl. Well, more accurately, I hope that I get pregnant and would prefer a girl. 

jenotontx

@pebbledam I would honestly be equally as happy with having a boy or a girl but for some reason I have always envisioned myself with two boys. I think it's partially because I think of raising myself as a teenager and I'm like mmm boys sound like a good idea. When I think of a teenage daughter stealing my makeup like my little sisters did to me growing up and it makes me ragey. 

vflux33

I'd love one of each, don't get me wrong, but at this point I'm so freaked out about having any that I wouldn't hope too hard for one or the other. I just want healthy ones! I grew up in a household with no brothers and although sometimes I wonder "what if", we and our parents were totally happy with just having a full on vag house. I'm sure my dad would have liked a son, but he compensated by treating me like one occasionally, and never seemed too disappointed. But my parents struggled with IF for 8 years, so I'm sure that influenced their perspective. 

doxiemoxie212

I worry that the men in my husbands family can only have boys. DH is one of four boys. His brother has a boy. His dad only has a brother. Cousins are boys. DH recently went to a funeral I wasn't able to attend and came back and was like, wait, all the women married into this family. Not that like, a boy or two is bad, but I do not want four boys. DH still has scars from his brothers attacking him with swords. Nope nope nope. 

vflux33

@doxiemoxie212 MH has a sister, but for the most part both sides of his family are all boys (FIL has 2 brothers, MIL has 4 brothers, etc.) and mine is all girls. I know sperm is the actual determinant, but I always imagine our genes fighting it out in my mind even though this is 100% inaccurate. 

eta more words

mschanandlerbong1214

I just need some damn estrogen in my house lol I love my boys to death but I know one day they won't want to hang out with their mom anymore. I know the same could be true for a girl too but I was close with my mom so I would hope for the same. 

elisek

continuing the thread drift... @vflux33 - can we get a regular update on crazy sh*t your sister says??? 

heatherdubrow

I'm team don't give a F what the sex is...I have two girls and would be thrilled either way.