PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - June

kelrauh

I need some advice. One of my 10 week old twins (3 weeks gestation) acts like he is starving. We feed him and he just screams and wants to eat more. He has been eating 6oz every 2 hours for the last 2 days and is still acting like he is starving and screams for two hours and its time to eat again. He has reflux and this seems different. I don't know if this just colic or is there something more going on like he can't get full. He is wetting through diapers so I know he is getting enough food. I am just lost what to do and his screams break my heart  

Tulips29

@Drove2u that's great news! Viktoria is such a little fighter!

@kelrauh is it possible your LO is gassy? Is he having enough dirty diapers in addition to wet? Colic was always a mystery to me. Have you tried gripe water to see if it would help? We gave grip water when nothing else helped during random crying spells and it helped him a lot. 

Drove2u

Guys!! Me and @tvh1982 are getting together in the Netherlands!! How fun!! 

tvh1982

Your twin sound a little like how my LO was @kelrauh. 
She seemed hungry ALL the time and cried and cried. Turned out she wasn't hungry, she was in pain due to cowsmilk allergy. Nursing was comforting her, yet also the reason why she was in discomfort.
She drank about 15 bottles a day!
Not saying your wee boy had that, but definitely worth looking into it.

The body she now outgrow @griffin5413. 
Its too tight to get her arms in, so with last time struggle I promised her she would get a different one The trousers I bought a bigger size (68) as it was the biggest they had I hope it works until 52 weeks (so she's not wearing the same trousers as in the first few months. 
The vest is still newborn size...hope it works for another 20 weeks

Yay!! Can't wait to meet you in real life @drove2u!!!

Griffin5413

Oh my gosh I'm so excited for you guys!!! @tvh1982 & @Drove2u. I can't wait to see pictures. First step in a group reunion is happening!

2legbaby

@kelrauh we had our LO one diagnosed with silent reflux because she would frantically nurse all the time. They do that to soothe their tummies but in the end all that milk  actually makes it worse. If he is on zantac let your dr know they may want to increase dose especially if he is gaining weight

Survived my first day back! Was actuially nice change of  pace and Medora loves her nanny!

ale9687

@kelrauh that's how A was too. That's how I knew it was silent reflux. We did have him on alimentum formula for cmpa but took him off bc he would choke on the spit up through his nose. Are his diapers really runny or mucusy? Also is your little one always stuffed up? Those could be signs the reflux is caused by a cmpa. 

kelrauh

Thank you for your responses everyone. We know he has reflux but I think the milk allergy is causing it. It turns out on sunday he was given his sister's formula instead of his own. I thought it was strange he didnt spit up the whole day but screamed at night. He is on Nutramigen which causes him to spit up horribly (out of his nose) but his stomach seems to feel better than on milk based formula. What formula does everyone use with LOs with milk allergies?

tvh1982

I use Nutrilon Pepti, but started with Hero Pep. Nutragimen was next on my list to try as we have 3 different ones here in NL and they all are composed different. 
So I do recommend to try a different one if you are not pleased with the result and don't go with the 'but he's much better than he was'
Of course give it time to get used to the new formula. 
Not sure which brands they have in the US, but I'm confident that they will be slightly different composed. 

ultratomato

@kelrauhi use that formula with my twins and it is covered by my insurance which is great only pay 10% of the cost and the most I can spend in a year per baby is $320 

janejane-2

Hi ladies! Things have been so busy with my twins that I haven't had time to keep up. They are now about 4 weeks post discharge from the NICU.

So one of my little boys also has reflux however the pediatrician didn't seem concerned as he's gaining weight. She recommended a wait-and-see approach. She says if I really want to I can always ask her for a zantac prescription but she prefer we wait. (What we're waiting for I'm not sure). He's a happy baby but I can see he has issues as soon as he's done eating and he always spits up some of his feed. Are there any side effects to those taking zantac? Is there a remarkable difference? 

Also, we tried formula for the first time yesterday, Gerber. I could tell they didn't care for it but took it anyways. Its supposedly helps with gas but I didn't see an immediate difference. We've decided to do breastmilk during the day and formula during the night. Once we're through the Gerber I have another formula, Earths Best Organic, to try. I'm open to any recommendations for formulas that might help with the reflux. 

2legbaby

@JaneJane su glad your LOs are home and doing well! Zantac is pretty safe but that being said if Medora did well off i would stop. All babies have reflux due to an incompetent or immature lower esophageal sphincter (keeps stimach contents in stomach)so it is very normal for all babies tii spit up multiple times a day.  GERD is when the reflux basically causes heartburn or discomfort. So lots of crying after eating, refusing to eat, spitting up so much not gaining weight.  A few of us have silent reflux babies where they are uncomfortable and want to nurse nonstop, having trouble sleeping due to pain, my little one will burp then whine and you can hear fluid come into her throat but not out-she would choke a lot in episodes like this- if your LO isn't showing other signs there may be no reason to treat! 

kelrauh

@JaneJane  - I am so glad your littles are doing well. I agree with @2legbaby on the symptoms. My LO has the same thing and screams (he also has a cows milk sensitivity). I dont have any suggestions on forumla yet.

@ultratomato - how do you get it covered by insurance? Mine says I have to order it though a durable medical supply and a doctor has to diagnose him. Did you have to go through any hoops?

@tvh1982 - thank you. I am debating on switching. I think I will use the rest of this container and see how he does and decide from there.

ale9687

@kelrauh we were on alimentum but it was so thin the spit up through the nose would choke ds and he couldn't breath for too long for my liking. You can thicken the formula, I read ppl have good results with carobel. 

@janejane if your little one isn't in discomfort while spitting up  you may just have a happy spitter. I wouldn't go by the amount of spit up, unless it's projectile which could mean a blockage but look at discomfort level. 

ultratomato

@kelrauh yes we had to have the milk test done and the doctor needed to write a script we also asked for it to be the liquid formula which makes it easier with two its worth getting it done 

Drove2u

I met @tvh1982 today. And Pia of course. We had lunch in the Netherlands and it was wonderful!!

Drove2u

Here's us!!! 

tvh1982

Both Pia and @drove2u where very excited to finally meet



So was I of course

2legbaby

That is so awesome @tvh1982 and @Drove2u! Looks like Pia had fun too!

tvh1982

She loves being part of a visit @2legbaby

Tulips29

Looking great, ladies! @tvh1982 @Drove2u I love that this community can bring people together all across the world. Pia is adorable! 

kelrauh

I need advice how to confront someone. Due to having the twins early and my hospital stay i had to go back to work before their daycare had openings. This has us relying on family to watch them while we work. My sister in law is helping a couple days a week. She thinks she knows how to raise my kids better than me and decided to feed them rice cereal at 10 weeks old. I'm upset not only is that putting my kids in danger I missed the milestone of the first time feeding them with a spoon. She bragged to dh when he got home and left before I got home. Dh didn't say anything to her. How do I tell her I'm pissed/upset without losing her help? It happened almost a week ago and I'm still beyond mad.

tvh1982

I soo too would be pissed of @kelrauh!

Does she has children herself?
It might be easier then to use the mum card and emotion as in: remember when your kids had their firsts, I would like that feeling with all their first. So please don't give them anything new to try or do without me being ok with it,

If she's not, you could still use the above, but tell her that it is so special being part of all the firsts your babies experience and you don't want to miss those. Some things are inevitably, as you unfortunately can't be with them 24/7, but other things like feeding them stuff, letting them use bigger toys, etc are you able to control. And you want to be part of all of those. So how fun it is for you to try them, imagine how much joy this will bring to a mother.
Please next time don't try anything new with them unless I've asked you too.

tvh1982

Do take a few breaths before talking to her. 
Dont hide your sadness if that emotion comes out when talking to her, but do try to breath away your angry. 
Eventhough it's painful she took something away from you, she probably did it with good intentions and you do need her help!

ultratomato

@kelrauh I understand where ur coming from and I would probably freak out but your babies did survive and sometimes it is not worth it to make waves. I would just explain to her that in the future u want to be the first to do things with them. I have this problem with my parents but it's just not worth it for me since they are helping us out so much watching the girls two days a week. And when they go to daycare you could also miss there first walk or crawl which worries me. Good luck hopefully your sister in law. 

ultratomato

So ladies I finally got my period after not having it for almost 6 months after being put on birth control. Well now my period is super heavy so I went to ob and they upd the amount of estrogen in my pills to another pill so I started a new pack but not to be gross or tell too much but I was going through a pad an hour the last couple of days I hope this subsides. Anyone else have this problem?

tvh1982

TMI for @ultratomato 's question;

My period has been back exactly 28 days after I became a mummy. 
No break here
It didn't go through a pad an hour though but it was (and still is) way more than usual.
Mind you before I hardly bled and was a max of 3 days. 
Day 1: I think my period is starting?
Day 2: yes yes it did
Day 3: I think that was it?
Day 4: What period?
Now there's no doubt and I needed better protection. On top of that it is killing me, sooo much pain. I too feel when I'm ovulating, I can tell which side. 
Its slowly getting less which actually saddens me. Because I've been told I probably could get pregnant naturally after giving birth, and as I feel my ovulation I know they are right, I felt the same as on hormones. As it's getting less, I'm afraid I'm going back to not ovulating but that means back to hardly having a period!

janejane-2

@kelrauh - oh my! I would be beyond angry. There's no way to "fire" your SIL and perhaps get a sitter for the days she was to cover? IDK but I would be so angry. She's not the pediatrician or the mom so why would she think its okay to give them cereal? She should have asked you first. I can't imagine babysitting someone's child (especially a newborn) and giving them anything but what I was given by the parents. IDK. Perhaps everyone else is right to let it go and be calm... that's just not me LOL. I do understand that there will be "firsts" that we'll all miss for different reasons but something like a feeding is an easy one to capture. Perhaps just tell her calmly that in the future she needs to stick to the milk and to not do anything without your okay. Sorry this happened to you  

kelrauh

@tvh1982 & @ultratomato - thank you for the advice. I decided it was best to have DH talk with her because I wouldnt be there today when she got there and I did not think I could text or call her without showing my frustration. I threw the rice cereal away and DH told her that we arent feeding them cereal and it made their stomachs upset so we would prefer that she doesnt feed them anything but their formula or breast milk until we indicate otherwise. He said that she was totally fine with it. She has 5 kids so she thinks that she knows best but forgets that I am their mom. 

tvh1982

Those are the worse, lots of kids (or even one) and knows best!

I hope no more episodes occure and she doesn't take away any more first and follows your parenting.
Glad DH could do the talk, cause I'm not sure I could've followed my own advice.

Griffin5413

I've missed so much  in just a few days! @JaneJane Eli has reflux and the dr hasn't done anything bc he is what she calls a happy spitter. He's not in any pain so she doesn't want to start medicating if it isn't bothering him. He even projectile vomits some of the time of he gags. He is on similac sensitive pro advance. Costco carries the big size of it and he does pretty well. 
@Drove2u and @tvh1982 so happy that you got to meet up and so jealous too! Lol
@kelrauh I'm sorry you are dealing with that. I'm glad DH was willing to have the conversation for you!

i can't believe Eli is almost 7 months. I was just saying to someone... well he will be almost a year by then which really was a trip! 

2legbaby

@kelrauh so sorry you had to deal with this! I'm glad your husband spoke to her, my mom took care of my sister's little one and did stuff like this ALL THE TIME! If I had rice cereal in thw house she likely would have done the same...also kept trying to her me to give her water as well.... ummmm nope mom love you but no

nellin-2

Hello, apologies in advance for the novel!

Jumping in at the end of the month to introduce myself and baby girl born on winter solstice (I'm in New Zealand) healthy at 37.5 weeks weighing 6.7pounds and 56cm (22 inches) Dad's already got ideas for a basketball career. 

After 3 years of IF starting with a lletz procedure for an abnormal pap smear, being diagnosed with pcos, surgery to clear a tube blocked with cysts, 7 failed monitored Clomid cycles, surgery for a polyp, a first IVF round that didn't make is to egg retrieval we finally got lucky. They retrieved 38 eggs with 14 making it to blastocyst stage (which given we only want two kids is probably as issue to deal with later), after waiting a cycle out of fears I was overstimulated our first frozen transfer took!

We had a textbook perfect pregnancy with fantastic results at every test/scan until 22 weeks. Despite having a perfectly formed heart they picked up a severe ectopic heartbeat skipping every second or third beat and at 24 weeks my cervix was shortening from 3.5cm to 2.5 in 2 weeks (a risk after lletz). My weekly scans then picked up mild polyhydramnios. 

Without bedrest but with limited activity and no bedroom exercise my cervix held though all the important milestones (apparently doctors here are not longer convinced bed rest makes enough of a difference). Her heartbeat slowly improved until it was normal by 32 weeks and at my scan at 37 weeks 3 days my fluid was back in normal range so I got the all clear to birth at the local birthing centre with strict instructions from transfer to hospital next door if there were any concerns.  
That night after walking the dog (very slowly due to the "Braxton hicks") my waters broke and after 3 hours of proper contractions and 2 hours of active labor we went to the birthing centre where they found I was already fully dialated and ready to push! 90 min later after a smooth easy birth apart from a large episiotomy I had my healthy perfect baby in my arms. The birthing centre was amazing we stayed 3 nights with meals for me and a bed for my partner and a midwife on site 24/7 so you could ask for help with every feed or concern.
I don't want this to be political or to boast but I am so grateful to have a public health care system in New Zealand which means all of my monitoring during pregnancy, the birth and postnatal care is free. We would have managed to find/borrow the money but I can't stand the idea that any baby would get lesser care because their parents can't afford it.

It's been the most intense week of my life.  I was so excited to meet her and so anxious for her to be healthy, and I was prepared for how hard it would be, but I wasn't prepared for how much love I could feel and how overwhelming my mothering instincts would be.

Breastfeeding has been tough (bleeding nipples are not fun but with a lot of help and lots of reading we are already improving). I'm making too much milk for her so getting techniques and positions that mean she is not overwhelmed and taking it out on my nipples! 
Successful breastfeeding is not intuitive but with enough help almost everyone can make it work. Fed is obviously best but breast milk is superfood for your baby. Don't suffer but if you want to make this work get help from experts. 

This forum has made so much difference since I found it at the start of our IVF endeavor. I'm so grateful for all the words of understanding and just having somewhere to vent with people that understand the heartbreak and emptiness of infertility and the hope and fears associated with overcoming infertility. 

nellin-2

@kelrauh OMG I'd be livid! Does She have kids? Could you try showing her the evidence that shows why this is a terrible idea so she can understand why you are so upset? 

capps42613

@Drove2u & @tvh1982 Omg! I didn't know it was happening so soon lol That's awesome, thanks for sharing the pictures! 

@nellin-2 congrats & welcome! Holy cow.. 38 eggs, 14 blasts is amazing lol Enjoy your precious babe! Glad we could be here for you.

nellin-2

@capps42613 Thanks!
Finally pcos came in handy! :P
The first round I was on the minimum stimulation dose and got three follicles and because they only count a cycle when they retrieve here my re said I think we can do better and we certainly did!
Assuming we don't need them all trying for number 2 we are thinking we will try and donate them.

Drove2u

@kelraugh my daughter is on solid foods now but we're still trying new foods. So each time we do me and DH do it together to see her reaction. Well my MIL fed her squash for the first time without either of us being there and I was angry. But the way we look at it is it's free help and in the end it really doesn't matter. For your situation though I would've been furious. 10 weeks!! That is way too young and she had no right to do that. I'm glad to hear it got figured out th

tvh1982

That kind of hurt @nellin-2 what you said about breastfeeding.
For me that sounded that one should have tried more to make it successful.
Try having a baby that's almost lifeless laying next to you, and you switch to a bottle in a heartbeat.
Some with PCOS produce more milk, others (like me) hardly produce any. Add extreme blood loss and fighting for once life twice makes milk production limited. 
No expert could have changed that.

nellin-2

@tvh1982 Oh no! I'm SO sorry that was never my intention!
Of course there are people for whom breastfeeding is impossible or impractical and infertility puts us at a much higher risk of that being the case. Or we don't want to or it's not going to be good for our mental health and that's really important too. 
Fed is always best and formula grows babies just fine. Sure breast milk has benefits that formula doesn't but I have a big problem with the guilt around formula feeding.  There is already so much guilt that mothers are faced with and I really didn't want to add to that!

My worry is that people who are struggling feel like they should trust their intuition or "try harder" or put up with the pain and misery.  The reality is breastfeeding is a huge learning curve for most people but that most problems can be overcome or improved with good advice and support.
In two days I've gone from agony and bleeding nipples and a baby turning away from my breast to almost no pain and an eager baby to feed. We might have managed that eventually alone but having an expert watch me feed and give me suggestions made a world of difference to me.

tvh1982

Thank you for re-explaining.
Language barrier, reading a text and still emotional having a though time I couldn't (even though my LO is a healthy 8 month old in 2 days) made me understand it wrong.

It is definitely true, even though it comes natural a lot of women have pain during breastfeeding which one shouldn't have.
My nipples were ruined day one as the hospital had given me a too small nipple cover. 
Then I was in pain as (not knowing) I had no milk and a baby that latched and loosened and did that over and over. 
I would definitely have benefited from a professional instead of all those 'amateurs'