FFFC 6/2/17

NYTino24

What are your confessions?

*not guaranteed to be flame-free

jess0211

My Mom decided on a nickname she wants LO to call her and I hate it (so does DH). Our family has some nicknames for grandparents but usually it's something the kids came up with. Eta I don't have the heart to tell her bc she was so excited. I just think random nicknames without any context are kinda silly.

mariposa_767s

@jess0211 What is it?  My mom chose Nana which I'm not fond of.  But she was adamant so I just said whatever.  Some things aren't worth arguing about.  I do refer to her as Meemaw sometimes just to irritate her though lmao

Mine is that I don't like notifications on my phone...like the little numbers that pop up when there are emails, messages, etc.  I either turn off notifications or clear them right away.  Visual clutter gives me anxiety.

zigzag8412

@jess0211, my dad picked "G-pa" which is a name he started calling himself when my sister got her dog... I think it's definitely a grandparent denial name (like "I'm not ready to be a grandparent so I'll pick this funky, abstract, non-traditional, 'cool,' grandparent name").  But I don't really care.  It makes me chuckle and suits him.  One of my favorites I've ever heard is a friend's dad who wanted to be "Pop" so his wife picked "Lollie" and together they were "Lollie and Pop."  
@mariposa_767s +1 for notification/visual clutter stress!  I opened my email yesterday and about had a panic attack when it showed 181 emails (99% junk from recent "new mom" sign up stuff that I need to unsubscribe from)!
Mine?  Last night I was fighting a migraine and DH was out so I made DD take her own bath while I laid on the couch and watched Hulu... I was not a very good/engaged mom last night...

hippiestinkmom

Told Honeybear I was cleaning when he called earlier, but I've been sitting on my butt watching Youtube because I'm too hot to move around. I did get some things done in the garden and I fed the animals though, so there's that!

mariposa_767s

OMG Lollie and Pop is so cute!

@zigzag8412 there are nights when I don't feel like momming either.  I will totally allow more ipad time for DS on those nights.  Sometimes we need that.

ElizabethSchuyler

@mariposa_767s I got into a fight on Reddit one time because those douches said a woman who "puts her phone face down has something to hide." No, the notifications bug me and I hate that stupid light and I'm sure there's a way to turn it off but I am lazy so I just put it face down. The end. Insecure fools. 

cottingham3

I ate 8 pizza rolls for breakfast! Yes, I know how bad they are for me...but we had a BIG box in the freezer for the summer when we need random snacks for the pool or beach. I rolled over in bed and told DH I was craving them. When I  dozed back off he went and made them for me! It was too sweet for me to explain that he has to help me curb m cravings toward something more healthy...especially first thing in the morning! I have also already had about 24 oz of water since to try and help cleanse my system!

BayCamp

Mine coorelates with my wahmbulance post: I am in absolutely no hurry for my 2.5yo to potty train. I barely have energy to clean to minimum as it is, let alone be constantly worried about cleaning accidents. It gives me anxiety and I feel like I can't relax when he's not in a diaper. 

zigzag8412

@cottingham3 Are cravings contagious? Excuse me while I go fix some pizza rolls...

DuchessOfCambridge

This is kind of a deep confession:

I frequently worry that I will be too bossy towards DH when the baby is here. I worry that I will be so so controlling and will act like he is incompetent of taking care of the baby and it will be really hard on our relationship. Even if I don't act on it, I worry that I will still think it and watch his every move. What I want more than anything is to not be like that and understand he is also a parent and equally capable of handling the baby, especially because he WANTS to be an equal parent. He actively does not want everything to have to fall on me.

ElizabethSchuyler

@BayCamp I am right there with you. Once DS hit two people started asking about potty training. I'm too exhausted and I don't have enough patience right now to do it. Not happening. I'm not worried. It'll happen. If it's after this baby is born, that's fine.

zigzag8412

@DuchessOfCambridge that is deep!  And definitely realistic.  I think your awareness of it combined with your desire to combat it are both really great head starts.  DH and I definitely ran into that with DD and all I can say is *communicate!* Even if it's not it the moment, either before or after, articulate your concerns.  Because half the time DH interacts with DD it's based off of a history I wasn't there for and makes 100% sense in context.  Also - realize you're both learning and you're both new, and you're both going to make mistakes.  Sounds like you have a good handle on it so far.  But rule of thumb- don't ever let the kids come between you and your SO.

BayCamp

@DuchessOfCambridge my anxiety manifested in the newborn stage in micromanagement. Especially since I was never more than 15 feet from the baby and he worked alllll the time.

DH and I had a deal where he would call me out when I was doing it and we both tried to not get upset. When it was pointed out to me I'd make an effort to calm down and in return he'd take it in stride as long as I made an honest effort to stop. 

DuchessOfCambridge

@BayCamp that's a great idea. It's not fair for me to treat DH like he's dumb. I think i also need to tell him my concerns and that will help.

mariposa_767s

@duchessofcambridge I agree with the others.  Communicate and express your concerns; allowing him to do the same.  It's hard to have a newborn and those fears are natural.  Acting that way is natural too.  Open communication is a must.  Also realize that there are multiple ways to do things.  That's one of the hardest things to realize.  My ex and I held DS differently and soothed him differently.  I still feel my way was more effective but had to allow him the opportunity to figure out his way.  Now he has another little baby and is the main caretaker/soother.  We were different but did our best to communicate about it.

DuchessOfCambridge

@zigzag8412 @BayCamp @mariposa_767s thanks ladies! I'm feeling a little better about it. I tend to be pretty micromanaging in general. DH told me he didn't know he folded laundry incorrectly or got out of the shower the wrong way until he married me

lancomechica2

I've eaten 3 doughnuts in the past 24 hours. 

kissthesky32

BayCamp said:

Mine coorelates with my wahmbulance post: I am in absolutely no hurry for my 2.5yo to potty train. I barely have energy to clean to minimum as it is, let alone be constantly worried about cleaning accidents. It gives me anxiety and I feel like I can't relax when he's not in a diaper. 

Same. The pedi asked if I was potty training my boy who just turned two. Uh. No. Not until he asks. 

kissthesky32

I have an actual confession this week! I went out to dinner Wednesday and had a half glass of wine and a raw tuna appetizer. Flame away - they were both delicious and I would (will) do it again. 

DuchessOfCambridge

I can't stand nose rings. I hate them so so much and whenever I am talking to someone who has one, it's all I can do to not stare at it and wish it out of existence, especially the ones that dangle. The only one I don't mind is my mom's. I still don't like it but she's had it my whole life (cultural thing) so I hate it less.

2Dash

I made blondies for a girls weekend trip I'm about to leave on! I cut them into to squares instead of leaving them in the pan so I could have one now. I had two!

DuchessOfCambridge

Sometimes when people post pictures of their ultrasounds and it's not a profile shot, I'm just like

am+mommy

@DuchessOfCambridge My DH also gets out of the shower wrong IMO. He gets out completely wet to dry off on the carpet whereas I dry off in the shower so the carpet isn't gross and wet. The only solution is he is not allowed to shower first. It makes me feel dirty stepping out clean onto a squishy wet carpet.
 I also have a nose ring.


My confession: I hate all fast food. 

DuchessOfCambridge

am+mommy said:

*snip*
 My DH also gets out of the shower wrong IMO. He gets out completely wet to dry off on the carpet whereas I dry off in the shower so the carpet isn't gross and wet. The only solution is he is not allowed to shower first. It makes me feel dirty stepping out clean onto a squishy wet carpet.

YES. His reasoning is that is what a bath mat is for. No, it's disgusting to step on something wet and icky and cold.

ariasbabyblog

@BayCamp Why would you potty train when you and the kid aren't ready? We didn't potty train my 4 yr old until after his 3rd birthday. He understood more what was going on and what we wanted him to do, we took a weekend, loaded him up with water and he ran around naked the entire weekend. After that he was pretty much potty trained for pee. Poop took a little bit longer as he was nervous about pooping in the potty, but by 4 yrs old he had no issues. If we had tried to potty train him sooner it wouldn't have gone as smoothly as it did and we probably would have had regression problems after his brother was born. We likely won't start potty training DS2 until he's closer to 3. He will turn 2 one month after baby girl is born, and I just don't want to deal with that.

My FFFC is I don't see any reason to potty train as soon as your child is physically able to crawl onto a toilet, and I think the small potty training portable potties are ridiculous and gross.

hippiestinkmom

Oh god my Honeybear sets my teeth on edge when he does some things around the house. It took our whole first year of marriage to figure out what chores he's good at and which I'm good at and we do them accordingly. Nowadays we do the ones we're good at and leave the other bit for the other spouse. I still do the lion's share only because he works full time and I'm a SAHW.

hippiestinkmom

DuchessOfCambridge said:

Sometimes when people post pictures of their ultrasounds and it's not a profile shot, I'm just like

Oh I hate that we didn't get a profile shot this last visit! But we did get the perfect "thumbs up"!

DuchessOfCambridge

@hippiestinkmom that wasn't directed at you! I actually did see your baby's thumbs up! Sometimes there are posts of baby like sucking its thumb or crossing its feet and I'm just like but where even is the head??

ArtificialRed

I have sucked at parenting this week. My kid is so bored. Being pregnant is kind of the worst and while I don't want to wish away my last few months with DS, I'm so over this. 

hippiestinkmom

DuchessOfCambridge said:

@hippiestinkmom that wasn't directed at you! I actually did see your baby's thumbs up! Sometimes there are posts of baby like sucking its thumb or crossing its feet and I'm just like but where even is the head??

Oh no I wasn't offended! I was agreeing with you and it reminded me how annoyed I got. XD

liz4382

Haha some of my own U/S we got from the NT scan (they emailed us around 30 of them) I don't even know what's what!  

MississippiCatfish

I didn't know that I got out of the shower wrong until I was in college and my roommates held a family meeting to see who was doing it.  In general, I lacked awareness because of my upbringing. I remember a roommate saying he could never figure out why the counter was always sticky until he saw me spraying a Cake pan with PAM and not wipe it up. I was like, "oh. Yeah. That makes sense." No one ever told me to do that, and I didn't pay attention enough to realize what was happening. 

@DuchessOfCambridge I think the parenting balance is just something that those of us fortunate enough to have really involved partners constantly have to work on. Like communication, money, sex. It's a balance and something you just have to be open about, for us, because we all lack a little self awareness. You're never "done" because both parents are constantly evolving, along with the kids and the relationships between everyone. Wanting to never go down that road is a perfect start, along with recognizing your weaknesses. 

BayCamp

@ariasbabyblog mainly because he won't keep his diaper on. Like ever. If we're home he's ripping it off, I've tried everything short of duct tape to keep him in it. Everyone keeps telli me that a "he's ready" cue and I really just think he likes to grab his penis. 

MississippiCatfish

@baycamp I might have missed this in earlier discussion, but have you tried putting a onesie on him backwards? I haven't had this problem yet with any of mine, but I have had friends who have been able to keep diapers on their kids who wanted to rip them off that way. A few have had to buy onesie extenders because their kids were big for onesies, obviously. 

ariasbabyblog

@BayCamp I reread my post and realized it sounded rather judgy and I in no way meant it that way! I get the penis grabbing (two boys here!) and DS1 did a lot of that when he was an older two and really still does it anytime he's naked at 4 yrs old. I think that's a boy thing, not a cue thing. Screw what everyone else 'thinks' is a ready cue, you know your son. If you think he is ready, go for it, if not, they can jump off a cliff, they aren't the ones who have to deal with potty training. Is he pulling his diaper off at night or all day long? 

DuchessOfCambridge

Guys I'm full of them today. I think I just want to complain about stuff.

1) I think it's dumb when people post a picture for someone's birthday on social media...but choose a picture of their own wedding. To me, that looks like you're shamelessly AW more of your own wedding pictures instead of focusing on the birthday person.

2) Today is my bff's birthday and I so want to celebrate her but this migraine is seriously awful and I am very nauseous. I just want to go home as soon as I'm done with this report and hole up in bed. Don't wanna go out dancing

BayCamp

@ariasbabyblog no judgement taken! Luckily only during the day. @MississippiCatfish he's Houdini. Out of all the clothes! We'll just take it day by day, and also luckily he only does it at home. I see a lot of naked backyard kiddie pool time in his future this summer. 

NYTino24

I'm just as excited to ditch my commute and work BS as I am to meet the baby and stay home with it during maternity leave. Plus, being able to make calls during business hours, pee and eat relatively easily when I want to, and being able to run errands during the week is going to be great. (I get the reality of having a newborn that eats and sleeps all of the time, but I will have 1 kid instead of 25-30.)

ineedsixeggs

My FFFC is that we have a tiny potty and I think it's adorable. It's a My Size Potty so it looks like a miniature version of ours, and even makes flushing sounds. My daughter loves it. 

But also we're not officially potty training. I just got it because she goes with me to the bathroom every time anyway, and I hate how close she stands to me. So I got her something to sit on and put it on the other side of the room. 

jess0211

I'm in a meeting with a bunch of dudes in a suit and I'm in jeans and don't give a damn.