June BF and Vents — The Bump
October 2016 Moms

June BF and Vents

Maybe I just like to complain a lot but I definitely need this thread. 

Re: June BF and Vents

  • I'm just now finally starting to calm down.  As you know we've been doing the sleep training.  It was going really well.  But H does not listen.  I only took off 4 days and now I'm wishing I would've been able to take off a full week since he now has to continue the training for nap time.  I'm sure he isn't doing the routine I told him to do and she's been crying for longer and longer.  I'm hoping it was just the loud thunderstorm we had last night again, but she cried for 20 mins before going to sleep when she had been down to no crying.  H then went into her room the past 2 nights when I told him not to.  I don't understand what he doesn't get.  Does he think I took off of work for nothing to do this?  Now I feel like after doing so well, she is regressing.  I hope I'm just overreacting but I really need H to stop.  I hate to say this but its so much easier when he's not there.  She was down to 7 mins for naps and now today with him she cried for 40 mins.  I know I have to chill out and let him do him while he is home with her but I still need him to at least follow the routine.  But at night, he needs to step off.  I was so mad last night I couldn't even fall asleep until 1am.  I wish I had a larger BM stash so I can say well if your going to go in there, then you need to feed her.  We were also down to 1 MOTN wake up and the past 2 nights have been 2.  I keep trying to explain to him that she is not necessarily hungry and we need to change her diaper and lay her down to see if she will fall asleep on her own before just offering the boob.  So now sleep training will probably take way longer since he just won't listen.
  • I hate that you're having to deal with that, especially after working so hard on her sleep training :/ I also know you've been doing your best to communicate why you are doing things the way you are with your H. Is there a different way you can talk to him about it to make it sink in? I can only imagine how frustrating that must be...
    Ladybug2821
  • I just get so passionate about it because I want to control the situation so I definitely overreacted.  Letting go of control has been the hardest thing for me about mommying an infant.  Wednesday and Thursday he did do what I asked and kept me updated so then I felt bad for getting so mad at him.  I have to realize things aren't going to be perfect and there will be some bumps in the road. 

    AllyTheKid
  • AllyTheKidAllyTheKid
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited June 2017
    OMFG. This man is so petty, I feel like I'm in a relationship with a 14-year-old...
    He has horrible phone service where he qorks, and for some reason his is terribly jealous of me participating in conversations with other human beings on Facebook.
    Well I got a cluster of text messages from him this morning, I'm assuming he swnt them all ealier and he didn't have service since they all came in at the same time. I promptly responded to those messages. Immediately after I responded to them, He sent "Are you choosing to not reply , or does someone else have better conversation" then "I gotta go" immediately after that one. His break is 10-10:15 and he didn't call me and rejected all of my calls. Which I find insanely childish. I left him a voicemail asking him not to call me or text me the rest of the day unless he changes his attitude, fixes whatever is going on in his head, and told him I have better things to do than deal with him being passive aggressive and trivial.

    So annoying, and of course it will all be MY fault somehow I'm sure!

    ETA- I sent him screenshots of our messages so he can see what times I recieved them. I'm frustrated that I even had to do that.
  • @allythekid Yes, that is very frustrating.  I would definitely bring stuff like this up in your counseling sessions.  Maybe he needs an un-bias opinion to be able to see how ridiculous that is.
  • He doesn't want to go now, he doesn't think we need it since he isn't drinking anymore. I had to cancel the appointment two hours before we were supposed to be there. I'm foing to talk him into going next week. And I'll tell him if he isn't going with me, then I'm going by myself and I need him to watch the kids for me.
  • Ok so I honestly think that S only cries when going to sleep at night when H is home. He's the one that actually made the comment because he says I want to be able to blame him. But then I actually thought about and all 3 times she cried at night since we started sleep training, he was home. All other times she went right to sleep. I wonder why that is. Well sometimes I know he is a distraction but even when he doesn't do anything she's struggled to go to sleep. I was looking forward to the weekend so I could do it all myself but then I remembered that H and I are going out tomorrow during the day. That means the babysitter is going to be putting S down for 1-2 naps. I know she'll follow the routine but I'm worried S will give her a hard time and we are prolonging the training. I just keep trying to tell myself she has improved and she is not a robot so some days might not work out how I want. Last night was awesome though. She went right to sleep without crying at 6:45 and didn't wake up until 5:30. She has never gone that long!  I fed her and then laid her down awake and she didn't wake up until 7:20. It was great!
    AllyTheKid
  • @LadyBug2821 Babies are pretty smart cookies, if she knows dad is home, and she knows dad usually picks her up, she's probably crying out of conditioning- and hoping dad will come get her.
    Johnny does something similar. When dad is home, he fusses less during the day, because he knows dad will just go put him in his bed until he stops. When dad isn't home, he tries to push his fuss boundaries harder with dear old mom. I know it isn't the same as bedtime fussing, but it's the same concept. They really DO know what they can get away with, and with which parent. 
    Ladybug2821
  • My period is extra painful this month. My lower abdomen is super sore and I've even flinched a couple times when S has kicked me there because it hurts. Periods suck!!
  • I still haven't gotten my period back. I'm grateful for that.. but also worried. What if we get pregnant and I don't realize it until later? We tried for 8 months for our LO so I highly doubt it but still. I like the reassurance each month knowing I'm not pregnant. Especially since we might be one and done.
    Ladybug2821
  • I hate that I have my period. I was hoping to not get it the entire time I'm BF. 
  • No period here either - I have peed on  a lot of sticks the last few months just to be sure I'm not pregnant when I plan on having a couple beers. 
    Image result for its raining meme

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @brzvice I still have a bunch of wondfos from when we were TTC so I pee on one a month haha. Are you on the mini pill? I am but am horrible at remembering to take it. A pack has been lasting about 6 weeks
  • @fitlady21 No birth control methods at all right now. Isn't it funny how peeing on a stick is oddly still satisfying even after we've been there done that so to speak?!
    My best friend exclusively BF her son and she didn't get her period back until 14 months PP. According to Kelly mom that is average for EBF.
    My situation is unusual because I nurse and supplement with formula, baby has STTN for months now and eats solids. Those are the factors that usually return fertility PP.
    Image result for its raining meme

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I thought it was weird that I got it back so soon. I EBF and the only issues with supply I've had are because of my period. It always dips during that time. But she was STTN prior to 4 months so maybe that was the reason. 
  • Yea mine has never STTN, has always been EBF, and still drinks a ton of milk even with solids. I'm willing to get my period back if that means she STTN! Haha!
    Ladybug2821
  • I just went down the target rabbit hole and spent a hundred on toys.. anyone else's LO love toys? Most babies play with 1-2 things. Not mine! She LOVES them all and gets so excited when she has new ones.
    Ladybug2821brzvice
  • S plays with anything and everything. She loves shoes for some reason.  I do want to get a walker and some type of toy that helps with standing. 
  • We have the little tikes cozy coupe walker and she loves it! It also plays music. We also have one of those sit to stand learning walker. She likes to play with it but hasn't been able to pull up on it because it rolls easily. We also have this the vtech learning table. She will pull up and stand to play with the toys on there! 

    My LO was taking a bath last night and stood up in it! She's getting to be so big.
    Ladybug2821brzvice
  • Speaking of periods and pumping, I was only able to pump barely 2 oz at my last pump, leaving me with a total of 8 oz for the day so far.  I have one more pump and should be going home with 16 oz.  That is definitely not going to happen.  This is why it is so stressful.  Now I have to take my pump home and pump before I go to bed and hope that gets me enough.  I think I only have 5-4oz bags left in my freezer so I was already hoping to be able to pump a little extra to be able to freeze more.  Well there goes that plan :(.
  • @Ladybug2821 Can you add a pump on the weekends to help increase your freezer stash? Also try freezing extra milk in an ice cube tray. That way you can use them one ounce at a time instead of defrosting a 4 ounce bag even if you only need 2 ounces.
  • fitlady21 said:
    @Ladybug2821 Can you add a pump on the weekends to help increase your freezer stash? Also try freezing extra milk in an ice cube tray. That way you can use them one ounce at a time instead of defrosting a 4 ounce bag even if you only need 2 ounces.

    Yeah, that is what I was going to start doing.  But this weekend I will have to do it just to have enough for her daily consumption until this darn period stops. 
  • I have a feeling when my period does return I will dry up completely. I'm lucky if I pump 5 ounces in 10 hour shift at work. It would not even be worth it at all to spend all that time pumping and washing parts for less then 1 bottle of BM for my LO to drink.
    Image result for its raining meme

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @brzvice Hopefully your period won't return any time soon!

    @Ladybug2821 I haven't researched it but I read somewhere that you can take certain vitamins the week leading up to your period that stops the supply dip. Might be worth looking into.
    Ladybug2821
  • Standing in the crib sucks!!  Just when you think everything is working, something else happens and throws a wrench in the mix. She's not yet figured out how to get back down so going down for naps has been a pain. 
  • So I have this dog that's 13.. she's been with me for over half my life. Always slept with me, never left my side, just a great dog. Well she's always been kind of grouchy but now that's she's older, she's very grouchy. She snapped at my LO today. The LO was patting her then moved her foot (which was underneath the dog) and it must have scared the dog because she snapped at her. Now I don't know what to do! I don't think the dog would intentionally hurt my baby.. but she could on accident. I would never forget myself if she did something to hurt her. Yet the dog was my baby for 13 years! What would you do? I just want to cry.
  • fitlady21 said:
    So I have this dog that's 13.. she's been with me for over half my life. Always slept with me, never left my side, just a great dog. Well she's always been kind of grouchy but now that's she's older, she's very grouchy. She snapped at my LO today. The LO was patting her then moved her foot (which was underneath the dog) and it must have scared the dog because she snapped at her. Now I don't know what to do! I don't think the dog would intentionally hurt my baby.. but she could on accident. I would never forget myself if she did something to hurt her. Yet the dog was my baby for 13 years! What would you do? I just want to cry.
    This is tough.  Would you be able to keep them apart until LO gets older?  I'm assuming that would be pretty difficult.  Uggh, I would have to say that if you think it is a possibility the best option would be to find her another home.  Is there anyone in your family that would be willing to take her?  That way you'd still be able to see her.
  • I could try my best to keep them apart but as the LO gets more mobile, it's going to be hard. Plus while I'm at work, the nanny will be there and that's a lot of responsibility on her.

    I hate to even ask family to take her in. I don't know what to do!
  • Different scenario, but I had a cat years ago that just would not stop peeing around the house. She was my baby but H couldn't deal with it anymore. And honestly it was getting out of hand. I asked my Dad if he would take her and he did. He had hardwood floors at his house (I had carpet at the time) and she never peed there. I don't know your relationship with your family but it might not hurt to ask. 
  • @fitlady Do you have a crate? I would just crate her when LO is out and about on the floor, let her out any other time, and although I know it would be difficult to keep them separated once LO is mobile, maybe just keep them in separate rooms? I 100% understand not wanting any accidents, and not forgiving yourself if LO got hurt, and if you feel the need to rehome, then do by all means! On the flip side, if you think this is a one-time behavioral thing, I would maybe look up some techniques on how to help your dog understand that LO is a family member not to be snapped at? It's always such a hard decision with pets.

    I am jealous of you ladies who haven't gotten AF back yet. I feel like I'm always on my period, or at least spotting. Booooo!

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