So my husband is military and we are stationed abroad (in Japan). My friends on base are throwing me a baby shower, and I was going to invite my friends and family back home, even though I know they can't come, but so they get the cute invites and feel included (it's their first grandbaby on my side). I was going to include a cute little note saying we understand they won't be able to come, but wanted them to know we are thinking about them and wish they could be here. However, now my MIL has decided, without my previous knowledge, to host a baby shower when we travel home for the holidays after the baby is born. I don't want to send people two invitations, but she is very admit that I invite all my friends to her party as well (even though, most of them wouldn't be able to come to that party either, since she lives far away from my friends). My questions are - 1) should I even be inviting my friends and family to my "official" shower here in Japan when they all live stateside and include a little snippet and 2) would it be tacky to send them a second invite to my MIL's party? I don't want anyone to think we are just trying to get gifts - because I really just want my friends and my side of the family to feel included.
Also - I am trying to get my MIL to just host a "Meet and Eat - Brunch" for us instead, so that gifts aren't necessary, but we'll see, since she doesn't really talk to me.