Weekly Randoms 5/30-6/2

ginger1228

I didn't see this started yet, so here you go!

ginger1228

I just needed a place to complain that I've lost my Target debit card. I can't find it anywhere. 

And yesterday I lost a package of hot dogs. H was grilling steaks and I wanted him to throw on some hot dogs but they're nowhere to be found. We both know they were in there. Luckily I had some in the freezer so I was able to satisfy my grilled hot dog needs. 

What has my life come to? 

Poppyseed72017

@ginger1228 I woke up this morning wanting a hot dog! I had forgotten about it until I read this. I'll have to check if I have any franks in the fridge. 

PurplePumpernickel

I had hot dogs for dinner two nights in a row, and discovered after 34 years that I do indeed like sauerkraut. 

ladybray

I finally found some gluten free hotdog buns at ALDI so I am on that band wagon too. Of course it gave me heartburn but it was worth it.

Oh good news! Cotton candy blizzard is back at Dairy Queen! Already snagged one!

nktrodden826

@ladybray you're GF and eat blizzards? Brave mama!! 

crzyforbabies

Mmm hot dogs! I have been craving a nice burnt one. 

I am in my second to last week of school, but there is a lot of stuff I need to do before I'm free to go. Yesterday I had to make it upstairs to put away bags of guided reading books, and that was exhausting. I'm hoping to have more energy today, because my classroom is a mess! Good news: I don't have to give sub plans to my principal for next year until after school lets out!

star_beagle

I'm starting to get some major anxiety, not over the actual labor and delivery process (which does freak me out a little, but I've been surprisingly "It'll go how it goes" about it and not my usual planning for every contingency self) but over how people (read: my dad and my MIL) will react when they aren't allowed in the room when I'm close to delivery and for the 2 hours afterward when I'm getting cleaned up and DH & I are bonding with the baby. I'm tempted to tell everyone (including my poor mom and sister) that it's not a show and if you can't be supportive and respect our wishes then we don't want you there. Seriously, this keeps me up at night. How do I strike a balance between getting the support I need from my mom and sister (because I will need them during labor, in addition to DH) and not having MIL anywhere near me? I'm also not entirely sure I want my dad to "hang out" there either because he tends have no filter and will ask why it's not going faster. The last thing I want is some huge fight between myself and my dad or myself and MIL. DH wavers between worshiping the ground his mom walks on and thinking she's crazycakes (mostly because she buys his affection). I am genuinely worried he'll get super offended when I want my mom and sister around but not his mom.

That's a lot of emotional word vomit...

ljd2010

@star_beagle It's not easy!! I completely understand why you want your mom and sister there and not your MIL and dad. I would think they should be mature enough to respect the wishes of the woman giving birth--and hopefully your husband will back you up. Is there by chance a limit on how many people can be in the delivery room? If not, and it comes down to it, the nurses usually are happy to run interference and not let people in if you tell them. Are you fine with your MIL and dad in the waiting room? It's so stressful trying to appease everyone! But ultimately you're the one giving birth, and you get the final say. 

ginger1228

@star_beagle - I get why you're nervous about that. I don't want either MIL or my mom near me when I'm in labor so I don't have quite the same issue. But I think it's completely understandable to want people you are close to and not MIL. You're going to be in a vulnerable position so why would you want MIL there to see everything?

I've asked my BFF to be in the room with me and H to help and take pics. My mom and MIL have no knowledge of this and I don't even know how to tell them without them getting their feelings hurt. But my friend is like a sister and she's the only other person in the world besides H that I'm comfortable with. Everyone else will just have to get over it. 

nononorman

@star_beagle - totally understand how you're feeling but I've expedited the process and told people in advance (read: I've pissed them off in advance). My mother is "so hurt" and she "can't believe I'm doing this to her"
because she won't be there for the birth and at this point we've decided not to tell people until the baby is out/safe. She lives over 1000 miles away so chances are she would not be able to make it here for the birth even if that WAS the plan but believe me it doesn't matter. In her head, I'm so cruel and the worst. But I would rather deal w her BS now than try handling it when I'm in labor - or literally at any time later than now. The logical arguments @ljd2010 and @ginger1228 made above MAY work for you but I know they didn't work for me -my mother gives zero shits about what I want and my feelings when those things don't agree with what she wants or thinks they should be. At some point you just have to stand your ground. Some people will never see your side of things but that doesn't matter right now because it's your baby and your life. For me, the most persuasive argument is "look how you're reacting to me telling you this - this is why I can't have you there". Generally the people who freak out at being told they can't come are the people you wouldn't want there anyways. They're high stress and ultimately selfish. I told my dad that my mom was being a psycho and he couldn't come because she was upset (divorced parents) and he said "whatever you want is fine, just let me know". And his calm reaction is WHY I WANT HIM THERE. 

So my advice is to be firm and do it ASAP. And if that fails and they don't come around, then don't tell them.

postywiththemosty

@star_beagle Totally understandable.  I think I take for granted that my biggest MIL complaint is she told me that back in the 50s babies eyes were fused shut at birth for a few weeks (think puppies).  She is giving us our space, as is FIL, and they plan to come a few weeks after the baby is born so we aren't crowded.  I think to truly get what you want and need from the scenario, you need a come to Jesus meeting.  I'm sure feelings will get hurt, but as someone said above, it's much better to do it now than when you're in labor.  Hope they can understand, but judging how my own mother is mad I don't want her there through absolutely everything - with as close as we are, I know the odds aren't good.  FX for you!

abmommy15

@star_beagle I firmly believe that when it comes to babies both mom and dad get an equal say and both sides of the family should be treated equally in terms of visits, privileges etc...BUT labour is the exception.  You and only you are going through an incredibly challenging yet very rewarding experience.  Your DH and anyone else you choose to have around are along for the ride but labour is yours and therefore you and only you get a say in who is present.  A mom in labour needs to be as calm, comfortable and relaxed as possible and your DH's primary job in this situation is to advocate for his wife.  If you felt that having Bozo the clown present would help then that's your decision and DH gets to make it happen.  In your situation I would offer a compromise and ask your mom and sister to leave right after the birth so you can have family bonding time and offer MIL the first visit once you are ready.  It's easy for an outsider to say but your DH really needs to understand that labour is all about you and he needs to step up and ensure that your wishes are respected.  

ginger1228

Anyone singing nursery rhymes for baby to hear? I read this thing about how if you sing while pregnant that it can comfort baby after birth, too. 

It made me realize I don't know nursery rhymes and I really hope Eminem is an okay choice.

My ever supportive mother asked the other day if H and I talk to baby and seemed bothered that we don't. I feel awkward doing that. Sometimes if baby hasn't moved lately I'll poke and say something like "please move," but I don't have conversations with my belly. Am I horrible?! 

postywiththemosty

@ginger1228 My baby will definitely know my voice by the songs I sing LOL!  But it's definitely not nursery rhymes....  I've been known to rap a little Eminem in my day.  I only talk to the baby when I'm alone because I feel weird otherwise, but even then I don't know what to say, so I normally just tell her what we are doing or where we're going and who we will see.  It's not easy though.  You're definitely not horrible.

ladybray

@nktrodden826 It is one of the few fast foos things I will chance lol

mamadcb

@ginger1228 I don't talk to my belly either! With my first I did get some funny looks narrating our trips through the grocery store to a sleeping newborn though... I'm not sure why that felt so different to me than when he was in utero. 

notachanski

@ginger1228 - I don't talk to the baby like that either. The baby will recognize your voice and your DH's voice just when he/she is born because you are always talking where he/she can hear. I kind of figured that was enough.

also @star_beagle - I feel for you.  That is a stressful situation.  But like previous posts said, the nurses will be your advocate during labor.  Also, when you are in labor, I would imagine you'll be less stressed about this situation. I know that doesn't help now, but it probably won't seem as stressful when you are actually in labor and you'll possibly be a much more vocal advocate for yourself when actually in the situation.

longhairdntcare

The extent of me talking to my belly/baby is: 'hey, stop that', 'get out of my ribs', 'get off my bladder', 'stop trying to escape'. lol

DH will talk to her but it's usually short and sweet: 'what are you doing in there, baby?', 'I love you', 'kick mommy really hard' lol

greenbean-2

I'm pretty sure the phrase our baby will recognize the most is "what are you doing in there???" We mostly talk to her when she's doing something crazy. 

BusyZee

I haven't talked to baby at all... I'm usually alone most of the day, talk to my parents on the phone and then at night talk to my husband when he comes back... I think I should start singing atleast lol. 

Wheres hdbd?

ginger1228

Haha thanks guys! I thought maybe it was just me who felt strange talking to my belly. 

I'm afraid my poor child will recognize bad words the most. Every time I yell (like not screaming at someone, but my dog will accidentally scratch me or something) I worry baby is going to think I'm always angry!

BusyZee

@ginger1228 omG ditto, the only time I've actually been talking recently has been a string of innapropriate things ... ugggh so many habits to change! 

manillabar

I talk to the belly occasionally, and I did play music for her the other day after reading about how she may recognize the music after birth. But I only did it once so far lol.  My husband reads to her occasionally though, which I think is cute.

@star_beagle I agree with PPs that you get to have whomever you want with you during delivery. It's not like you're saying MIL can't see the baby, but the delivery process is very personal and very much about you. You're the one pushing a human out of your body!  I plan to have my mom and my husband there with me when it's time.  I'm ok with people stopping in during labor if I'm comfortable (hoping for a nice epidural lol) and waiting in the waiting room while I deliver and recover, but I'm a huge baby and need my mom and my husband. H didn't give me much grief about it, thankfully, but I wouldn't have budged regardless.

hyperangel_8509

I can tell you all that this baby will probably not even flinch at me yelling since I do yell at DD. I was so much more calm while pregnant with DD....this kid will probably sleep through a parade. 

chiquita928

@star_beagle To echo a PP, find out your hospital's privacy.  At mine, there is literally a list of 3 (?) people you give them, and they won't let anyone else in the delivery room.  The doors are also locked.  No one's getting in unless they are approved.  Also, as suggested, I would have that conversation early, and you can do what my sister did, and schedule visitors.  She told everyone exactly what time they could visit, and if they gave her an attitude, she told them they wouldn't be welcome to visit in the hospital at all.  She basically said, if you want to meet my baby, you do it on my terms, or you don't meet her.  It seemed a bit over-the-top to me, but it wasn't our side of the family who needed that - it was her in-laws.

Also, the only person who talks to my belly is my son.  He's always talking to her.  I never really talked to him until he was born, either.  I mean, like others have said, I'll ask what she's doing in there or something like that, but that's pretty much it.  On the plus side, having DS talk to my belly is pretty much the most adorable thing in my world.  He sings to her, too.  My heart bursts.

lanie1000

I tend to sing the same song in the shower everyday so it will be interesting to see if she immediately recognizes it after birth. Problem is my voice definitely isn't the best on the block so she may just want me to shut up! 

As for talking to her, neither DH nor I do it very much. I know she'll know my voice from hearing it constantly (talking on the phone, hanging out with friends/family, work, etc.) but I wonder if she'll know my husband's voice...

AdaByron

I'm convinced my DS got desensitized to the sound of my dog barking in utero. In 3 years, the dog has never woken him up. She could be going crazy about the UPS truck, and DS could be sleeping 3 feet away and not stir at all. 

kghusker1003

Postpartum hormones are no joke. For real. 

DarkSerendipity

Venting: I've been in L&D since Memorial Day - contractions, back pain, and period-like cramps. Went hard and heavy that first day, no sleep whatsoever. Got up to 2cm, and have since stalled out. I'm 35 weeks, so we did turbutaline and mag and procardia to see if they would stop, nope - not happening. 
Yesterday was a bummer. I'm going for a VBAC, and I kept getting the whole "You realize that there's a 1 in 100 chance of uterine abruption, right?" from the on-call doctors. Gee, thanks. That's what you can offer for encouragement to someone who's been awake and in pain for over 24 hours? So that had me scared and thinking of just going for the c-section. 
Today, totally different. Different doc, different attitude. He tells me if two more shots of turbutaline don't slow things down, we're going for the gold. No medicinal intervention, of course, but there's the possibility of membrane stripping or breaking my water. 
Sorry this is so long, but I'm tired and sore. After this, I'm just ready for it to be over. 

lanie1000

@DarkSerendipity I'm sorry you've had to deal with such ups and downs this week, but I'm glad today's L&D team seems to have a better attitude. You'll be in my thoughts!!

If today's turbutaline shots don't do the trick, then here's to a safe delivery and meeting that happy, healthy baby!! 

greenbean-2

@kghusker1003 I have no words of wisdom, since I haven't experienced that yet, but I'm sending you creepy internet hugs. We're here if you need to vent. 

@DarkSerendipity you'll be in my thoughts! Fingers crossed that baby stays in there a little longer but if that's not in the cards then I wish you a safe delivery. 

notachanski

@kghusker1003 - Take things one day at time.  Feeling for you, I know that roller coaster ride can be rough.

@DarkSerendipity - FX that things work out in the best possible way for you and baby.  Its not fun being stuck in the hospital and uncertain of what will happen.  Good luck!

julybaby17-2

@DarkSerendipity I'm sorry to hear you're going through that. Thinking of you and your little one. 

mrsla0512

@DarkSerendipity thinking of you and baby. Glad the new doctor seems to be more hopeful about the turbutaline. 

ginger1228

Thinking of you @DarkSerendipity!! Good luck!

ljd2010

@kghusker1003 Postpartum hormones are legit intense. It can be hard to distinguish between "baby blues" (ugh I hate that phrase) and ppd. Please keep us posted. Do you have anyone to reach out to? Particularly someone who understands the shitstorm of those survival mode first few weeks. 

Thinking of you @DarkSerendipity!

crzyforbabies

That sounds tough @DarkSerendipity! I hope things work out for you one way or another soon. 

I talk to my baby occasionally, but agree that just speaking around her will be enough for her to know my voice. I listen to the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack so often, she might recognize that after she is born .

manillabar

@darkserendipity just want to echo everyone else, hoping the contractions stop so the baby can stay in a little longer but if not I'm glad you have a much more encouraging team today!

kghusker1003

Thinking of you @DarkSerendipity

I have been on Zoloft for about 2 weeks now, (they started me on it while still pregnant to help) but they told me it can take up to a month to start working. I do have lots of support people, both here and through the NICU.  This is my first experience having a preemie that I had to leave at the hospital and it's just all overwhelming on top of the regular feelings postpartum brings. 

ginger1228

I had an appointment today and talked to my dr about cord blood donation. She suggested a place and I looked it up. You have to be between 28-34 weeks to register and I'm 34+2. I'm really upset that I don't qualify bc of 2-3 days. I'm going to call tomorrow and see if there's any exception. 

So anyway - FYI for anyone who wants to donate. Register ASAP!

Otherwise appointment went well and dr said that at this point if I went into labor, they wouldn't stop it! She said it would mean a NICU stay but the risks of the medications they would use to stop labor wouldn't outweigh the benefits.