Second guessing breastfeeding

melissa11015

As I lay here, in the middle of the night with my 5 day old DD cluster feeding for the last 3 hours, coming off the breast crying cuz there's nothing left, remind me again why "the breast is best".

mamatowildones

Has your milk come in yet? With my first it took 5 or 6 days. Sometimes even now I feel like my baby is fussing and crying and wanting more when it turns out to be an upset tummy. Breast is best for some and not for others. It's a case by case issue. Don't best yourself up! The best thing you can do for your baby is feed them and care for them and there are other ways of doing that. Don't give up. I know it's hard. But in the end it comes down to maintaining your sanity and doing the best thing for you and your baby. 
My first only BF for 2 months and then I had to start formula. I was very upset but it made for a much happier baby and mama. 
Hang in there if you can. Try to get together with a lactation consultant and work with them to see what some possible resolutions are also. They are a wealth of knowledge. 

SKZW

It's a tough road to walk along, this breastfeeding thing. No doubt! My LO went through a period today of every 80-90 minutes for like 5 hours. I seriously felt like I couldn't do anything else (especially play with the toddler, and I really wanted to because he made an obstacle course with his building blocks and cars!).

You're at 5 days right now, and over this first month your supply will stabilize & you'll have fewer instances of feeling like there's "nothing left." (Might happen again during a growth spurt...) And even though it's super difficult to deal with a cluster feeding and the feeling of running out, just remember that today's challenges mean you're "putting in an order" for tomorrow's supply, and hopefully it'll be smoother for everyone. 

Hang in there, all your efforts are worth it!

That said, don't drive yourself nuts. Fed is best. If BFing ends up not working for you guys, it's not a failure, it's just another method to feed your baby. And fed (no matter how) is the point.

Stick with it, though, since you're still nascent to it. Good luck!

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

Who are you!?!

Yiggle09

Never quit on a bad day. Wait till your minds clear so you can make the best decision. From what I've read your never empty to your baby. Your body will continue to supply despite the baby seeming like they are displeased at the breast. For clusters just keep switching breasts when they pop off. Read that today. Like pp said your baby is building a supply for themselves putting in an order. Here's some links that help my sanity. https://kellymom.com/hot-topics/growth-spurts/
https://www.thealphaparent.com/2011/12/timeline-of-breastfed-baby.html?m=1

ChristinaWild

Don't focus on "breast is best"....it will drive you insane. A fed, happy, rested and loved baby is best! I will second what @Yiggle09 said though, don't throw in the towel on a bad day. Emotions are all over the place right now, so wait until you feel a little better to make the decision. 

Something to consider trying, only cuz my little monster has done this to me - are you sure baby is really clusterfeeding? Is it possible she just wants to be close? Can you try some skin to skin without offering breast to see if she just wants the contact? Also if you're SO is around, ask them to pitch in with skin to skin as well so that you can rest for a little while and get your bearings. Good luck! 

MollyandD

My milk hadn't fully come in by 5 days. I'm 22 days past delivery now, and I've exclusively breastfed my baby boy. He's gaining weight well, but I was worried at first, like you are. A wonderful lactation consultant showed me how to do hand compressions on my breasts as he fed. She said that would give him 30% more at each feeding. You could hear his loud gulps when I did this. Maybe look up some videos or read about compressions and give that a try. 

melissa11015

Sorry, I post on so many boards, I thought that I had intro'd myself on this forum. I'm 38 and I just had my second LO, first was a DS, with whom I breastfed for 5 months until we found out he had a dairy and egg allergy. I've done this before, but DS started at the "normal" 5:00 and went on from there, this time around DD isn't starting until 10:30 or so and I'm just beat. She has been going until 3/4am.  Hope that helps.

melissa11015

Yes, my milk has come in...cane in on day 3. I believed she had been clustering but tonight after a Cooke attempts to nurse, I attempted to offfer skin to skin time...it worked and I was able to get some sleep. However, after a little more than a hour later and she was back to yelling and crying. I tried to offer it again but ate wanted no part of it and when I finality amped to make contact with me, it was DD banging her head against my chest like a chicken finding feed on the ground.

SKZW

@melissa11015: That's tough! Hang in there, mama!

chailife34

Shoot... I missed my MOTN pump session, which is stupid since I was awake feeding DS a bottle. I was just so tired I slept through the alarm I set. Hopefully I can make up for it today

melissa11015

I'm also finding it really challenging that I am missing things...especially things with my 2 1/2 year old because I'm stuck in a chair and nursing. It's just such a change from when I had my first-DS was the only thing that mattered and now I'm working through the adjustment that I want to give him the same attention but I'm also wanting to give my new DD the same attention that DS got in the beginning of his life. It's just such an adjustment!

lnds32

@melissa11015 I also find it difficult to miss out on things with my 20 month old son because the baby is always wanting to nurse! It's really hard in the evenings when the baby is cluster feeding for what seems like hours and my older son is eating dinner, having a bath, storytime etc. I just keep telling myself this is a phase and it will not last forever! Eventually they will both be eating dinner, getting baths and reading books. For now, I nurse but in the future it won't be like this!

edit because spelling is hard!

mrsrep123

Same here, ladies. I've been missing my time with my 22 month old. MH is great and reminds me of what you have already stated- just a phase, this boy deserves the same attention too, etc. But still... 

chailife34

Today is the first day of us introducing formula supplementation since DS isn't gaining enough due to my low supply. I keep reminding myself that a "well fed baby is best" and "some breastmilk is better than none." It's hard, but necessary. Luckily it's allowing me to stress less and my supply seems to be on the upswing now that I don't have to worry as much. Wins all around. 

Here's a good one:
https://www.bestforbabes.org/its-not-just-about-breastfeeding/

MollyandD

@chailife34 I'd be sad too, if I had to supplement. I almost had to in the hospital. At least we have the option of formula. It's much better than a hungry baby or a failure to thrive baby. 

Both my sisters breastfed one child and formula fed the other. I don't see any noticeable difference in the health of the kids now that they are older.

chailife34

Thanks @mollyandd

melissa11015

We supplemented with my first...same problem. My supply was low and came in late and DS lost too much weight. It actually was a good thing because it made switching to a bottle, when BF-ing  was done, so much easier. Hope that helps make it easier.

jlonie614

For me it was hard to wrap my brain around exclusively pumping versus breast feeding. It was really hard for me to accept and I was super emotional about it. To be honest, when I stepped back and thought about it I remember as long as the baby is fed we are good. We have had to supplement a few times with formula, which also hit me hard for some reason. I cried at the pediatricians office and she totally made me feel better. I am so glad we have a good pediatricians.