BabyMoon!

oriole2017

I saw in a few other threads that some mamas went on a babymoon recently! Anyone have any pictures or stories to share? Anyone planning on a babymoon? Where did you go/are you going??

I recently returned from our babymoon to Hawaii. Our friends joined us for their wedding anniversary and took pictures of me and the hubby on the beach, along with some bump pictures. I don't have them yet, but I'm excited to see them!

Nxy

... ok. I'm sincerely trying to ask this question without being snarky. We'll see how it goes.

You just said in your last thread that you don't bump often. So, aside from AWing what's the point here? We should all come tell you about our babymoons and showers just for you to not come back and interact until our due dates? We should all come here and invest our time here when you clearly don't plan on doing the same? 

Eta spelling and words 

oriole2017

Ok, not taken snarky and don't mean to sound snarky back. But let's all be positive here and assume everyone intends well. A thread/discussion is not just for the person creating it? You're not just telling me, but you're sharing with the other August 2017 moms. Just because I don't bump often, doesn't mean (1) I don't at all, or (2) I won't follow up on this thread to see how 'your'  babymoon went and look at your pictures. No one 'needs' to invest time here that they don't want to. If you feel it's a waste to spend your time here, then I understand. I also don't want any grief for asking regardless of how much bump time I choose to put in, or if someone finds babymoons pointless. If you went on one or are going on on and you'd like to share anything about it, tips, pictures, whatever, feel free! You also don't need to share just with me; when you reply you're not just replying to me, and it's a way to just start the conversation. It's not actually clear I don't plan on doing the same. I did contribute and say I went on a babymoon and took pictures on the beach... I just don't have the pictures. I did see that some others posted babymoons pics in other threads. Super sweet bump photos!

Nxy

That is my exact point though. Why do you care to "start the conversation" if you don't come back often enough to be a contributor? 

BlackNYellow

Drama aside, I am genuinely curious to hear about other posters babymoon adventures. We are not going on one so please let me live vicariously through all of you!

taylormarie923

I don't understand the point of a babymoon. Wouldn't you rather wait till the kid is out and dump him or her on a relative to go enjoy a kid free vacation where you can drink?  Just me? 

DeansGirl14

taylormarie923 said:

I don't understand the point of a babymoon. Wouldn't you rather wait till the kid is out and dump him or her on a relative to go enjoy a kid free vacation where you can drink?  Just me? 

We took a babymoon and we plan to "dump her on a relative" (lol) to enjoy a kid free vacation. 
DH and I love to travel and do so frequently; one of his mother's comments to passive-agressively implore us to reproduce was, "You can still travel! I'll babysit anytime!!"

To us, even though we do travel a lot, setting aside a longer trip as a true "babymoon" was the time to specifically relax and take time to enjoy each other before our lives change forever. We generally do tourist-activity-heavy, go-go-go trips but we did go to Hawaii and lay around a pool and whatnot. That's not our usual style of travel and it was a last hurrah of relaxation and indulgence.

And I got a lot of fruity mocktails. Virgin daiquiris are delish! 

aeholden-2

Unfortunately I'm unable to take a true babymoon bc I'm high risk and can't be far from my hospital if something were to happen but I thought about getting a hotel in the city, which is closer to the hospital than I live anyway, and doing something. I may even make it more of a fun family thing with my daughter since things will be changing with the new baby soon and my husband works a lot so it may be nice to get the extra family time. 

@oriole2017 Hawaii sounds amazing!

oriole2017

@nxy because like I said, you can start a conversation and get it going for others regardless of whether you yourself contribute or how much or how often you contribute. The posts are not just for the creator of the thread but for all. And I've already shared that I went on a babymoon, and where, and what I did. And I've already reiterated that I never said I wouldn't contribute- that was your assumption. I also don't need to comment on others's posts to have viewed or liked them. Why does it matter really? If you don't feel the need to waste your time in this thread, then don't. Let's not discuss my involvement as that's not the point of this thread, nor is how much I may or may not contribute, when at least some others are enjoying hearing about others' adventures.

oriole2017

@DeansGirl14 @taylormarie923 I don't drink, regardless of being pregnant. So for me, it didn't really matter whether I waited til after pregnancy so I can drink. But I hear ya! If you drink, taking a trip when you can drink AND get away from being a new mom sounds like a good thing too. @taylormarie923 If you took a vaca after baby, where would it be to?
And we'll probably take our parents up on that after baby comes too. But similarly to DeansGirl14, we travel a lot already, and pregnancy wasn't going to stop us from continuing to travel, and we specifically wanted a time to enjoy ourselves pre-baby. So call it babymoon or vacation, whatever. We wanted one more baby-less trip before the chaos of parenting ensued. We will have ample opportunities to burden our parents and in-laws for trips we want to take without the baby. And 'sides we already needed a house sitter for our 2 dogs. so this was anice romantic getaway without any responsibilities of needing to look after someone. And we are very go-go-go people as well. Hawaii was a nice laid-back lifestyle change for us, relaxing at the beach. Although we also hiked, snorkelled, surfed, etc, we made sure to take time to relax every day and take advantage of the 9-month contraceptive in a romantic setting! Plus I was able to enjoy indulging myself in all the food. I didn't over-indulge, but since I can have more calories per day now, I took advantage of it. There is so much good food in Hawaii!

oriole2017

@aeholden-2 Spending quality alone time with your daughter sounds like a perfect reason for a trip! Or the three of you!  Life changes after each birth, and sometimes you just want to savour the last moments of this part of your life before it does. There's nothing wrong in that! Stay-cations are always nice too if you can avoid the home responsibilities meanwhile. I'm glad you can find a way to enjoy this time despite your high-risk limitations. I'm sure the city has a lot to offer.

taylormarie923

I'm never taking a kid free vacation again. A preschooler and two newborns, I'd have to ding dong ditch them on my mom's front porch to get away. 

we take quarterly trips up to the Bay Area to visit the grandparents and that is about all the flying I have in me. Thank dog for strong mixed drinks from southwest. I honestly have no idea how I'm going to manage flying with the twins.  I might need to hire a stranger to be a lap for one of the babies. 

Nxy

I guess my biggest issue is when people come around looking to "start conversations" and get support when they give none in return or are extremely sporadic in doing so. I'm not saying you have to bump daily but this is just silly to me. It's ((for me)) twice as annoying as random drive by posters.
So your saying I can just scoot on over to September and start a babymoon thread becuase it'll start a conversation for them? It doesn't matter that I don't interact with them, it'll get them taking and that's all that matters.
It's my assumption becuase the last time you dropped by and started a bunch of threads was TWO months ago. You just started them and disappeared. It's awfully one sided as far as being a contributing member of a community goes. 

oriole2017

@nxy I'm over it. I'll bump as little or as much as I want to and people can decide whether they'd like to join in or ignore it. You can start a conversation in real life and leave the conversation if you need to leave, but others can continue talking about it even after you're gone. It works that way in real life and it works that way here. The conversation doesn't always die when you walk away. I'm not dumping anything on anyone. When I'm around, I will support others. I don't care if my contributions are sporadic. Life is sporadic. Sometimes just replying to one person and offering something encouraging is more than anyone else has done that day and maybe it meant a lot to that one person whether it meant nothing to you. I don't care if it annoys you or seems silly to you. You're not obligated to partake.

Nxy

In real life this is the equivalent of all of us sitting in a room and being engaged in multiple conversations and you jumping into the the middle of it and yelling "how about those babymoons!!!???"  And disregarding the fact the we are all engaging with each other regularly and being upset when the people who do engage regularly think it's weird that you just jumped in the middle yelling about babymoons..

littlebug2010

@oriole2017 but the thing is, you aren't coming here to offer support. These are one off threads, that might generate a bit of conversation, but they end and we all move on fairly quickly. It's annoying because you come here every other month, post some one off threads and offer zero support to other members and leave. Most of us have been here since early December, and we have supported each other through our entire pregnancies.  You posting these threads feels like all you wanted to do was come here and tell us about your awesome babymoon, and the fact that your getting a shower soon.  you are welcome to join in and be a part of this community, but it seems as though you just want to post and ghost every other month and to most of the regualr posters that's not cool. 

DeansGirl14

taylormarie923 said:

I'm never taking a kid free vacation again. A preschooler and two newborns, I'd have to ding dong ditch them on my mom's front porch to get away. 

@taylormarie923... I'm giggling over the ding dong ditch concept but you know what... one of my friends at work once a year will fly to another state to stay with his SIX nieces and nephews, including a set of identical triplets (who are around 8 or 9 years old I believe), so his brother and sister-in-law can take a week to Hawaii or Cancun or wherever. 

If you happen to want a childfree getaway, maybe for a milestone anniversary or something, I hope someone's willing to help give you that break! 

oriole2017

@nxy I disagree. I didn't jump in the middle about babymoons, I started another thread. If you didn't want to "change the topic of conversation" as you see it, then don't partake in that thread at that time. I think blogs and communities are for all types of contributors. Some just readers, some avid repliers, some sporadic contributors. I can have friends or aquaintances that I don't engage with on a daily basis in real life and call them up for a cup of coffee to catch up or ring them to see how they're doing, and I can do that even after months pass by. You don't need to be my best friend I talk to every day. If you have friends like that on here, that's awesome. Everyone gets some different out of the Bump. Your expectations need not be the same as mine, and if mine fall short of yours, they should not inhibit my experience. Let's not be upset at how others are posting or judging how others post. Or nitpicking others. Don't we have enough of that in our lives? The Bump/August 2017 moms is here, it's not going anywhere any time soon. And majority of people may leave after they give birth, some may stay, some may migrate to another board. Whatever people want!

oriole2017

@littlebug2010 actually I have supported others in other threads. You're going off one day's worth of posts and making an assumption. It does not matter when I come here! It can be every other month, that was the point I was making. It's to each their own. I didn't start the thread talking about "my awesome babymoon." I simply made a comment about it. I started the thread, I thought I would add a personal note instead of just saying, hey where did you go, without even staying if I had one or not. I feel like had I not stated I did, I'd be criticized for just the opposite. If I don't say anything, I am not contributing, but when I do contribute, I'm bragging. I wasn't "bragging" I was getting a shower soon. I was starting a thread about showers if people started having them. Just like the babymoon- I noticed people were already taking them. The 2nd tri is known to be a good time to take them, so I asked. I don't care what is cool with you or the "regular posters." I'll reiterate, if you do not like my post, do not want to contribute to it, if it offends you that I am not a daily poster or how often I post, how much you think I need to support being on here (did I miss the requirement??) and you don't want to reply to my posts/discussion- then DON'T. Stop judging me and let me talk to other members.

imwithbaby

@oriole2017 according to your rules, if you're allowed to do whatever you want here then @nxy is allowed to have whatever opinion about it soooooooo yeah you're kind of contradicting yourself. No one can stop you from doing what you want here, and we're also allowed to voice that we think it's out of place. 

imwithbaby

oriole2017 said:

@littlebug2010 actually I have supported others in other threads. You're going off one day's worth of posts and making an assumption. It does not matter when I come here! It can be every other month, that was the point I was making. It's to each their own. I didn't start the thread talking about "my awesome babymoon." I simply made a comment about it. I started the thread, I thought I would add a personal note instead of just saying, hey where did you go, without even staying if I had one or not. I feel like had I not stated I did, I'd be criticized for just the opposite. If I don't say anything, I am not contributing, but when I do contribute, I'm bragging. I wasn't "bragging" I was getting a shower soon. I was starting a thread about showers if people started having them. Just like the babymoon- I noticed people were already taking them. The 2nd tri is known to be a good time to take them, so I asked. I don't care what is cool with you or the "regular posters." I'll reiterate, if you do not like my post, do not want to contribute to it, if it offends you that I am not a daily poster or how often I post, how much you think I need to support being on here (did I miss the requirement??) and you don't want to reply to my posts/discussion- then DON'T. Stop judging me and let me talk to other members.

QFP, just in case

bumpybump

@oriole2017 no time to bump/support others for how many months and then you spend an entire day writing novels?

oriole2017

@mrsmatt1212 @nxy asked what the point was and why they should waste their time. I'm saying if they don't like what I'm doing, then DON'T waste your time. They can have whatever opinion on it, they just asked why should they. The answer is they don't have to. But enough is enough. I do not like getting nitpicked on every comment/post. It's harassment. Y'all need to stop being so negative, nitpicky, judgemental, harsh, on each other and just be positive. If you don't like something, fine say it and move on, stop judging me for it and continuing to press the issue. Clearly others are interested in this post- about babymoons. Not everyone is interested in this argument. If someone isn't then don't waste your time. But if you choose to waste your time, go head, but stop blaming me for that time being wasted. The fact of the matter is there are varying levels of contributors on this forum and it does not need to meet someone's predefined requirement to be here. I don't care if 'you' think it's out of place. There wasn't a babymoon topic and clearly others were interested. There, not out of place. You don't want to be here in this thread, then don't. Others do.

oriole2017

See Bump Guidelines. Maybe you don't like it, but people have varying degrees of contributions, get over it.

"We created The Bump Community so women (and guys - we have forums for dads too!) can connect with others who are going through what you’re going through -- or who’ve gone through it and have advice and perspectives to share. Think of it like your own big support group and community where you can share as much and as little as you want to, or need to -- but remember that all your posts are public.

What’s The Bump Community? 

The Bump’s Community is like a fantastic park with lots of interesting, exciting and informative sections -- many of them will catch your eye and you’ll want to spend some time there, although some of them won’t.

DO read current threads - and older threads too!

But please don’t feel like you have to comment in every forum, on every thread and to every post. It's okay to skip or ignore a thread if you have nothing constructive, relevant or supportive to contribute.

But please don’t complain about reposts or crossposts. Just because you have already seen it and/or answered it does not mean that other members have had the same opportunity - and sometimes conversations just fit into two different forums. A link to the previously answered question might be more productive than a complaint about it."

oriole2017

@bumpybump why does it matter? Life interjects. I have a free day and thought I'd come online. Why is there judgement for that? Why does there need to be? Damned if you do, damned if you don't???

bumpybump

oriole2017 said:

@bumpybump why does it matter? Life interjects. I have a free day and thought I'd come online. Why is there judgement for that? Why does there need to be? Damned if you do, damned if you don't???

You're being exhausting to everyone and your novels aren't helpful for ANYONE. 

oriole2017

@bumpybump they're replies to other people who keep pressing the issue. If they dropped the issue like I asked there wouldn't be replies. Don't read them if you don't want to.

Nxy

Really bump guidelines??? We aren't saying if you don't post every day you can't post here. We are saying it's weird that you don't really post in the threads then start a bunch of your own. It's. weird. I don't care if you can't see that it's weird but it is. You never even bothered to intro. 
So you're saying if you don't have the last word here you're not going to let it go? 

oriole2017

@nxy Yes. I am getting hammered for something that is clearly stated in the guidelines- I can post as little or as much as I would like. And although you only saw it in 2 threads, I have posted in many others. Sometimes I posted multiple times a week when I am active. I've had highly active threads on diapers, even told people about gDiapers that some people didn't know about. I refuse to list all the threads but some are not my own and some are like S--people say to pregnant women, the ones about unpopular opinions, fitness, tests, etc.  I contributed to many other threads. I can leave for 2 months and come back, IT DOESN'T MATTER. Who care there was a gap! Some people have a gap of a few days. I can post every other month. I can post just ONCE ever, or I can post in the beginning, or the end. Or I can select which topics to reply to, or which topics to start. It says I can in the guidelines. And people have found my thread topics helpful. But you guys are cluttering it up with judgement. We all have lives that we don't sit here on the computer posting. I was away- ok so what. I had - A LIFE outside the internet. Some people have kids to take care of, and while some manage it very well to do both, others do not. You should not judge someone just because you think it's weird they don't participate like you do. What if it's medical, what if I don't have a lot of internet access. No one should NOT BE judged for it. I didn't post in the intro but I have actually made several introductions when I posted. For the first say 5 posts I said I was a FTM, gave little information about myself. I don't need to state my name or where I'm From. If it was relative in the thread, I gave information. Or if I connected with someone on a personal level, I PM'ed them.

Nxy

You can post as little as you like. You can. 
I can in turn post as much as I'd like about how weird it is. 
And with DH gone, I've got alooooot of time on my hands at night. 

But I've got a couple topics for your next threads. Caster oil, braxton hicks, misc. cramping, oh early breast milk leakage, umm swollen feet, please if you lose your mucus plug make sure you post a picture.

oriole2017

@nxy Those are legitimate topics. If anyone including myself starts them, I think it would be helpful for people.

oriole2017

Despite the sidetrack, myself and it seems @BlackNYellow would like to know... about your babymoons!

britvahok

@oriole2017 See ya in 3ish months!!! You'll be back to "support" everyone with your newborn pics right?? 

taylormarie923

Seriously, every response is TLDR.  If you want it dropped, not responding is an option as well. This gives me a chance to use my favorite gif though, so thank you. 

imwithbaby

SouthernMama15

Nxy

DD likes to take her pants off and run around the house naked, does that count as a baby moon?? She likes to go "look mom my BUTT" if that solidifies the mooning part. 

oriole2017

I'm glad you are all able to post often. Sorry if someone has something going on and can't. God forbid you're active then have a break. Hope it's nothing too serious. Would hate to miss this support you'd get. 

morgy_bee

We didn't really do Babymoon, but we got a kid free three day get away in April. It wasn't much but it was enough. My in laws don't get to see the kids often so they regularly ask to keep them for a couple days. 

Nxy

oriole2017 said:

I'm glad you are all able to post often. Sorry if someone has something going on and can't. God forbid you're active then have a break. Hope it's nothing too serious. Would hate to miss this support you'd get. 

If something came up and I had to have a break I'd have posted to let the ladies here know that I'd be gone. I've formed friendships with people here and I wouldn't want them to worry about me and baby.

bumpybump

Nxy said:

DD likes to take her pants off and run around the house naked, does that count as a baby moon?? She likes to go "look mom my BUTT" if that solidifies the mooning part.