Obsessing thoughts won't stop, need comfort.

Drewsmum

Long story, but I can't stop obsessing about the problems we had feeding my newborn his first 4 days of life. Here it goes...
My lo didn't have tons of interest in latching. He would only latch when I had help from lactation. At home I could get him to latch only a few times. They said as long as I "attempted" he was fine. Is that true? How hungry are newborns in their first few days of life? He was never extremely fussy (except for when I was trying to nurse him, he would cry so hard because he didn't want to latch) but when I stopped trying, he was calm and would go straight to sleep. FYI I hadn't given a bottle yet. That's what I regret! Because I got so worried about him being hungry, I started pumping and feeding by syringe on night 3. I was still getting colostrum but very little of it. My milk wasn't in yet. Each time I pumped we fed him what I got which seemed like such a small amount maybe 9 to 12 ml's only. I started this on his 3rd day of life. We saw our pedi on his 4th day of life and was told to supplement with formula since he wasn't latching and it turned out what we were feeding him by syringe wasn't enough. He lost even more weight and was jaundice. What was I thinking? I was severely anemic and didn't have much energy. Of course we gave him the formula until my milk came in, but it's been such a weight over my shoulders thinking if he was in any pain or starving to death. Lactation at the hospital never mentioned to supplement if he continued to not latch, they always said don't do formula if you want to succeed in breastfeeding. I know now that that is totally false because we introduced formula, bottles and pacis and that actually helped him to nurse and 2 weeks later he was a pro and we're still nursing. Did I do wrong by not starting formula sooner since I wasn't pumping much? Do you think he was fine with what I was feeding him? I'm worried about any long term damage I did to his health unintentionally. 

deevalicious

You did nothing wrong since you tried and did what your instincts told you. Luckily on the 4th day at the appointment you were instructed /helped . As first time mom we panic over these things and its normal.
Hope you and baby are doing fine at this point 

WeddingNotes13

You did great! You kept offering, started the syringe when you felt it was needed, and added formula when advised. It is tough, especially in the beginning. Going off of feedback from medical professionals is the best that most of us can do! How is your baby doing now? 

gollygeeitsamy

You did great! The beginning before you’re milk comes in is so hard.  I had a very similar situation to yours with my DD. She was jaundice, lost 5 lbs the first 5 days. We supplemented formula on day 4/5 till my milk came on day 6. It is normal for babies to lose weight, the doctor would have told you if there was a problem. My DD quickly put on weight and we nursed/pumped for 1 year and pacis helped her too. She is almost 3 now and is 75% percentile height/weight and extremely smart. Don’t beat yourself up about it or give yourself mom guilt.