TTCAL Check-In Week 5/8/2017

tlq0726

1. Introduce yourself (if new).
2. Status?
3. R/R?
4. GTKY: What is your favorite guilty pleasure TV show?

silvergreen

1. Introduced myself in last week's check-in, so technically not new. 

2. Benched. 3 weeks post-D&C as of today. Still waiting for a negative HPT. This morning was very faint +. Fingers crossed for the return of AF. OB wants us to wait at least 3 cycles before TTC.

3. Rant: Kind of can't believe the level of snark on these boards to perfectly innocent questions, contributions or opinions! Sometimes I want to chime in to defend someone, but try to pick my battles.

4. KUWTK when nothing else of interest is on. Omg, I said it. Hope answer to #3 doesn't come back to bite me in the ass.

Edited for grammar, spacing, etc.

tlq0726

1. Not new.

2. STILL waiting on AF.  Calling my doc today to see if there's something we can medically do to bring her around again.

3. Rave - The college roommates did in deed come down this weekend, and we had a blast!  We were able to do so much fun stuff with DD, and hang out, and laugh.  You ladies were right.  It was awesome.

4. I have so many guilty pleasures!  Reality TV is my bestie.  All the housewives, Pump Rules, RuPaul's Drag Race, and Marraige Boot Camp are some that get DVR'd every week.

tlq0726

@silvergreen that's exactly why I picked this board and not one of the others to participate in.  I admit, sometimes the snark is justified, but who wants to go back through six years worth of posts just to see if your question has already been answered??? 

sprkls8506

1. Not new. Just haven't been around in awhile. Had a miscarriage back in a Nov. 

2. Trying. Saw an RE today since 35 is old and ancient after 5 months of trying. 

3. Where is spring? I need spring. 

4. I love The Middle. I feel like they are going to end it soon and it makes me sad! 

silvergreen

@tlq0726 Exactly! I agree, sometimes it can be warranted, but it can certainly be toned down so as not to totally eviscerate someone's character or intelligence. It just gets under my skin. I think regurgitation is sometimes a way to say involved and relevant with our current community on the board.

tlq0726

@sprkls8506 are you one of the lucky people who actually get seasons?  I'm in Houston, and we went straight from "winter" (I think we only got down to the upper 40s or so) to summer.  It was 90+ degrees this weekend 

@silvergreen if it's not in the first three pages, then by all means ask again.

sprkls8506

@tlq0726 yes we do!! I'm in MA. We have random hot days and then it's cold again. February vacation was warmer than it is today. Go figure!!! Please send me a hot summer day. I would love one. I'm sure it does get old tho!!

silvergreen

@sprkls8506 I'm in PA and the same thing is happening here! We had some nice toasty 80+ days a few weeks ago, and I don't think it even hit 60 some days last week.

tlq0726

We had a "cold front" last week, and only got up to about 75 degrees!

vlagrl29

1/2 - not new, 4th cycle TTCAL, WTO

3 - Only rant I can think of is my mom saying my belly looked bigger last night and if I had a bun in the oven.  NO mom!  So I skipped dessert last night and I'm going to have carrots with lunch.  I know I shouldn't let it get to me but while I'm not KU might as well try to tone down that pooch a little more right?  My rave is more for DH but he finally got someone to finish the dirt work at his building and grass will be sprayed on this week.  He is so close to the finish line.

4 - I like Modern Family.  I'm also getting more into that new show with the housewife but I can't think of the name lol.

tlq0726

@vlagrl29 moms can suck

sprkls8506

@silvergreen a 60* day would be amazing!! We had a really nice day last week. Then more rain 

@vlagrl29 gotta love random comments   

I love Modern Family Altho I don't watch every week. I catch up on Hulu 

MooFish2364

1. I'm so not new it's depressing. 

2. WTO. CD11. 

3. My niece's mother keeps sending me ultrasound pics and pregnant announcement pics even though she knows about my loss and IF struggles. I know I need to say something but I know that she will be really upset. She's not the most emotionally stable person. It took her a year and a half to get KU with baby #3 so I thought she would understand at least a bit. After I got the pics last night I cried cooking dinner and then had a large glass of wine. 

4. I love the Curse of Oak Island. I'm sure they aren't going to find and treasure but I just love a good adventure so I watch week after week, year after year. Lol

@tlq0726 I'm glad you had fun with your college roomies!

@sprkls8506 I love The Middle! I watch reruns every day. I also feel like it's coming to an end. With the older kids in college and Brick in high school. So sad. 

@vlagrl29 my grandma asked me that on my birthday a few years ago before we were TTC. Crazy thing is im really petite and don't even weigh 100lbs. Not sure what was up with that. People are just weird like that sometimes. 

Mack2342

@MooFish2364.  My DH watches oak island and thinks they are going to find something. I'm usually laughing at him. I don't think they will find any treasure 

AFM, not new been around since last August 

WTO, Went to RE this morning.  Had US and saw 3 follicles.  Shot Wednesday and insemination Friday! I was hoping for a couple more follicles but hey I'm 42 so I guess 3 isn't too bad 

dont really have a rant or rave

i love the voice.  Love all the singing but I also like chemistry between the judges.  Blake cracks me up 

tlq0726

Thanks @MooFish2364!  DH and I watched the first season of Oak Island, but that's it.  

How exciting @Mack2342!!!  Keep us posted on how things go Friday.

Mack2342

@tlq0726. Thanks. I'm excited. I'm so less stressed this month as I haven't temp'd or used OPKs. We have just BD and going by DRs.  So we can BD until Wednesday and then nothing until Friday morning. 

sprkls8506

@MooFish2364 I don't know how Brick is old enough for high school. 

I have a hard time will all baby announcements. My due date is coming up which makes it harder. 

@Mack2342 how exciting!

ladipale

@silvergreen - again, welcome. agree with the snarkiness - it can be INSANE on some of the boards. I've been around thenest and thebump for a looong time and the boards used to be super different - tons of different threads were created every day. And, KUWTK is amazing!

@tlq0726 - i can't remember, how long ago was MC? Waiting for first AF is torture! I'm so glad you had a good time with roomate this weekend! Sometimes planning for an event is harder than actually doing it.

@sprkls8506 - welcome back

@vlagrl29 - ugh on your mom does she know you are trying/had a loss?

@MooFish2364 - word on the so not new its depressing. YUCK on the ultrasound pics - that is so insenstive.

@Mack2342 - so excited for you this cycle!

AFM -

1 - not new, been around over a year ugh - but did have a 2nd pregnancy (and loss) during the time.

2- I'm on the bubble between WTO and 2ww - I'm only tracking CM and using history, but I'm pretty regular between cycles of 26 - 28 days. We did NOT have good timing this cycle so I'm not hopeful - which give me one more chance to get KU before my July due date...

3- I have an invite to a baby shower this saturday. For my husband's cousin - who has EXACT same due date as me. I can't decide if I should go or not. Or if not going is worth the ramifications from his sister.... but I'm finding the closer we get to July 10 - the more I don't want to see her/her social media. What would you all do? Go or not?

4 - Reality TV all the way! I love most Bravo shows  

tlq0726

@ladipale it's been one month today.  I can't remember if she told me to call after 4 weeks or 6 if I hadn't gotten AF back.  

As for the shower...  I would not go.  One of my former students, who I'm FB friends with, is due in November (which was my month) and I already can't stand to see her stuff.  She's not even obnoxious about it or anything, it just still sucks that bad.  I can't imagine going to a shower for someone who is due the same day I would be.  I know for certain, I am not that strong.

jchpg

1. Newish- just one cycle after my MC. 

2. WTO, should be the next few days so we're trying now. Im debating tracking more closely...

3. Rant- I have an upstairs neighbor in my apartment building that I think has a pet elephant. It's drivig me crazy. I have no idea how to deal with these types of situations... but i can't stand that I wake up in the middle of the night when she gets up to pee. I know it's partly my fault that I'm a light sleeper but I have no idea how to change that. Just annoyed. Raves- I have two long weekends this month. I'm looking forward to some me time. 

4. ANYTHING I can bindge watch. I'm not a huge tv watcher but sometimes I just love killing a whole weekend getting lost in a show. 

@silvergreen I totally agree about the level of snark on some boards- it really turned me off from the BMB I was on before my loss. 

@sprkls8506 I'm ready for spring too! We had snow at the end of April- it's just wrong! 

@vlagrl29 sorry about your moms comment. I guess she's probably just excited for you and trying to be optimistic. I'm struggling with my weight after my MC and trying to lose a bit,  but it's a battle because I'm completely an emotional eater. And I've had ALOT of emotions lately

vlagrl29

@Mack2342 - GL - I hear ya about being less stressed.  I don't keep track of my cycle anymore, don't temp, don't opk.  I really don't give a F about that anymore.  It's more work than it needs to be.

@ladipale - yes she knows we are trying and she knows about the loss.  We found out I was pregnant the week of Xmas so we waited until after my 2nd beta to tell everyone.  Numbers had doubled so it was an early xmas present for DD and we told the parents on the nights we spent with them for xmas.  Had no idea on 3rd beta it would drop and I'd have a CP.

I've recently told her about my new goals which is getting more students and playing more gigs - basically putting that energy spent on TTC into something more productive and something that makes me happy.  She said "well what if you get pregnant and you can't keep up with all that"  well I'll deal with it them but I can't spend my life wondering "what if I get pregnant"  F that.

dpjennifer

2. Status? Benched… WTO like CD 5 or something.

3. R/R? Some of the boards can be VERY snarky. However, I know that sometimes I can be full of snark.  It's generally who I am, and with 4 losses under my belt, my give-a-crap o'meter can be VERY low some days... and drive-by BFPs and insensitive comments on TTCAL board really get to me.  I get enough crap from insensitive people in my regular life, I don't need it in my 'safe zone' as well.  Especially since it seems a lot of people are here for a few months after their 1 MC and then they get their BFP and move on, and I'm still living here... it gets really rough on this end of the spectrum... I'm a depressed, anxious, psychological nutbag sometimes.  

Also... DH contacted his close 'friend' about her daughter bringing the new baby to the bridal shower this weekend.  Basically this 'good, close, long time friend' thinks that I need to get over myself, suck it up, and deal with it, because the daughter was invited and she wants to bring her baby and if I can't handle it that I just need to stay home by myself. So... I kinda hope she falls off of a cliff into a pit full of scorpions. But hey, I'm a snarky psychopath that needs to get over herself, so what do I know?  I know that I'm not going to that shower... 

4. GTKY: What is your favorite guilty pleasure TV show? Say Yes to the Dress!  Ugh... I don't know what it is, but I love it.

@tlq0726 Glad you had a good time with the college friends!

@silvergreen I’m also in PA and was excited to open the pool a week ago, and now… brrr…

@MooFish2364 I hear you on the not new.  I feel like TTCALer for Life.  *sigh* And sorry about your niece’s mom.

@ladipale Skip it… schedule something else that day that you ‘can’t’ get out of!

silvergreen

@jchpg Honestly, it's really weird because sometimes you see the same women being so supportive/nice on some threads and on others you really get to see an ugly side.

One more note on the snark: why do they often get the majority of "Love it" upvotes for being an asshole? Some threads feel like being in a scene from Mean Girls.

Ok, rant over.

silvergreen

@dpjennifer Totally understand where you're coming from with those people. I think some are just so oblivious, to be honest, and just need a gentle lesson or reminder as to why their post isn't tactful or considerate. But I do understand the feels.

ETA: Your DH's friend is just an asshole. Permission to snark.

dpjennifer

@silvergreen I get that.  But unfortunately my 'gentle' ability is pretty much shot at this point in the game.  So, all I've got is snark.  My personal belief (from what I can muster from the depressed, anxious shell of the person I used to be) is that if people can say insensitive things that make me really upset, that I'm going to cry about, get angry over, or generally upset my day... then I believe I have every right to say whatever I want to in response to that.  Unfortunately, most people don't tend to take the subtle hints offered either (I'd tried that approach before I became too much of a psychopath), and it seemed to get me nowhere most of the time.  I think sometimes a sharp, slap in the face realization of JUST how hurtful their words are is exactly what some people need.  However, unless you hit me on a bad day I try to be somewhat understanding...  
Thankfully, there's not as much need/call for that sort of thing on this board!!!!!

tlq0726

@dpjennifer I'm so sorry for all of your losses.  I'm only one in, and hope I never have to go through it again.  I can't imagine all the emotions and insensitive people you have to deal with.  And I've not seen one bit of snark from you in the past weeks that I've been lurking/participating.

I do know that even if I get a BFP again, I'd like to stick around this board for a while anyway.  I'll always be dealing with the loss after all.  

silvergreen

I have also only experienced one loss, so I apologize if I came across as insensitive to your feelings or losses @dpjennifer. That wasn't my intention.

I'm really happy to hear that this board is a good place.

dpjennifer

@silvergreen Oh no problem!  You're fine.    Trust me, like I said, my crap-o'meter is low and if you'd made me upset, you'd know it.  LOL.  especially today.  ::grumble grumble:: DH A$$hat friends.... grrr.... 

ladipale

@dpjennifer - yuck-o on the insensitive friend ;( That is unbelievable! People just do NOT get it.

@vlagrl29 - i feel you on filling life with other stuff. i've been doing the same - for better or worse!

Mack2342

@ladipale. I wouldn't go.  

@dpjennifer.  I loved your give a crap o meter comment.  I wish I had more of that!   DHs friend is insensitive. Also, im with you on loving say yes to the dress.  

sprkls8506

@ladipale I don't think I would go to the shower. 

@jchpg I love binge watching shows too! We just started the 2nd season of Fargo and sadly there are only 10 episodes. 

@dpjennifer so sorry for ur losses. And insensitive people are terrible. 

SCK2411

**TW loss mentioned**

1. So I've been lurking for a while and started commenting here and there for the past week. My husband and I have been TTC since November 2016. I have PCOS and was therefore very pleasantly surprised when I got pregnant on my first cycle TTC. I then had a MMC at 9 weeks in February - went in for a routine US and the baby had no heartbeat. I had a D&C that same day (my MIL is an OBGYN and works at a hospital). The whole thing happened so fast that I didn't really digest what was going on until it was over. Now in second cycle TTCAL.

2. AF came yesterday so CD2, WTO

3. Not sure if it's because of the MC but AF is ridiculously heavy right now (sorry for the TMI). I also cried all night last night because the loss still feels very fresh and AF is just a reminder of that for me. I also couldn't help but realize that she reared her ugly head on international bereaved mother's day. I know that TTC up to a year is considered normal and that I really haven't been trying for that long so I shouldn't be complaining about not already being pregnant again but my PCOS makes me very nervous about my chances of getting KU again without medical intervention and my ability to stay PG once I do get KU. 

4. What is your favorite guilty pleasure TV show?
Anything marvel. DH got me into the movies when we were dating and recently we started watching the TV shows that have come out. I don't know why but I love them. 

@vlagrl29 I know how you feel about the weight comments. I've gained a few pounds since my MC and my MIL (who knows about the loss) called DH three days in a row after seeing us last week to ask if there's any news he'd like to share with her. 

@ladipale if it were me then I'd definitely not go to the shower. I think that no matter who it is, they'd prefer that I not show up at all than have me be rude to people that just don't get why I'm struggling. And your husband's cousin and sister should both care about you enough to not want you to end up leaving early anyway because you're too upset to stay and just respect that you need your space.

@dpjennifer I am very sorry for your losses. I know it can't be easy and I hope that nothing I have (or will) said has felt insensitive to you. If I ever do then I will accept the snark as I am many times snarky myself to people that know about my loss and are insensitive anyway. 
Also, your husband's "close friend" doesn't sound like one. I'd probably also tell her to jump off a cliff. 

vlagrl29

Sorry you're here @SCK2411 I understand the freshness of the loss. For quite some time I would cry after sex with DH. It gets better

Mack2342

@SCK2411 sorry for your loss. I agree with @vlagrl29.  Also my AF after 1st miscarriage was very heavy. I was 10 weeks.  This second time around AF is very normal.  I was 8 weeks but only measured 5w4d.  So not sure if AF is due to length of Pregnancy or if it's just plain different after MC. 

amberruka

Loving how active this thread is today!!!
@MooFish2364 heeeeeeey there cycle buddy :-)
@ladipale @dpjennifer I wouldn't go either to second the others. I don't think you're insensitive at all. Love, love the give-a-crap meter, I'm gonna start using that one. 

1. Been here quite some time, these are my ladies. 7 or something cycle TTCAL after an eternity of bench. I'm AMA but not seeing RE as right now not looking to pursue IUI, IVF. Though that could change.
2. WTO CD 11. 
3. R/R, just got some Preseed applicators on Amazon, DH now hates the Conceive Plus, hahaha.
4. GTKY: not sure, maybe When Calls The Heart or Cedar Cove? I'm a girl, it's my job to like that stuff!! Ha!

silvergreen

@dpjennifer @ladipale To those who will be giving you grief about not going to the showers:



@vlagrl29 I just posted in another thread of mine about getting intimate last night for the first time since the loss. Initially I felt like crying, but managed to hold it together. I did get into it, but had to actively force the thoughts of loss out of my head. I'm surprised I managed to do that, but somehow I did. I am optimistic it will get emotionally easier the more we get back into a routine, if you know what I mean.

40momma

1. Introduce yourself - total newbie over here. First BFP in 04/17, followed by first m/c at 7w3d. Sucks. I've realized I'm currently in the anger stage of grief right now. Like why the heck did this happen to me?? But here I am. And finding these boards such a sanity saver. Well, the non-snarky ones at least
2. Status? - Benched, waiting for AF, finally stopped bleeding from m/c.
3. R/R? I'm pretty sure one of my closest friends is PG but she's not telling anyone yet, and by my own sleuthing she's about 2 weeks behind where I would have been. I'm happy for her but still..... (likely why I'm in the anger stage right now)
4. GTKY: What is your favorite guilty pleasure TV show - Riverdale.  @MooFish2364 I actually haven't watched any Oak Island but I'm originally from just down the road and my great great great great great great great grandfather was one of the boys that found the original map. So bring it on! Find my treasure boys!!  (I'm soooo not getting any piece of the pie)

hdaley

1. Introduce yourself (if new). Not new- measured 5 weeks at 8 week appointment on Dec 15, 2016.  Miscarried Jan 2, 2017.

2. Status? TWW - Today is either O day or 1DPO.  Didn't temp this cycle because it caused me more stress than necessary.

3. R/R? My DH is once again out of town on either O or +1.  I'm hoping the 5 days of BD will be good enough but they weren't the last 3 times so yea.  Just feeling all kinds of I hate the world today.  One of my good friends just had her second miscarriage.  She has one son who is 2.5.  She was my glimmer of hope and I feel so sad for her.

4. GTKY: What is your favorite guilty pleasure TV show?  If you want smut watch the Girlfriend Experience.  It was scratch your head weird.  Now i'm on the Handmaid's Tale and what a nightmare to live in that world!

I am sorry to hear about all the stress everyone is going through!  BUt OMG that Gif of the ummmm Bitch was Hilarious!

vlagrl29

@hdaley- you would think 5 days of BD would be enough - that's A LOT!  We had a TON of BD in Feb and I also had the most fertile CM I've ever had in my life - still nada.  I would like to do more BD this month during the first couple weeks of my cycle and see if that helps.  It's all a crap shoot though.

vlagrl29

@amberruka - I bought some of that pre seed last summer early in on TTC and it came with those applicators.  I've never used them.  What do you do - put the lube in the applicator and then insert?  I still have that bottle and it was not very big.  We don't use it every time.  It's my go to lube if I need it though.