PGAL check-in May 4

aprilsarahjune

Check-in for those who are pregnant after a loss. If you're new, introduce yourself and tell us your story.

1) How far along are you?

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?

3) When is your next appointment?

4) Rants/Raves/Questions

5) GTKY: Share a moment in which you felt exceptionally confident and capable.

Hope you don't mind @laeberge3 but I am ready to chat!

migdala

1) How far along are you?  16w5d

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?  I'm drinking an iced coffee for the second time this week so things are looking up all around.  I feel like it's been FOREVER since we've seen baby though, and I don't like that.

3) When is your next appointment?  May 17 for a quickie and May 22 for the AS.  They've started just listening to the HB with the Doppler instead of bringing in the imaging machine at my midwife appointments.  I know there's only like 5 days between my next midwife appointment and the AS but I'm tempted to ask them to bring in that imaging machine on the 17th so we can see her again sooner.

4) Rants/Raves/Questions  This is probably a question for the general thread, but when are you ladies thinking about taking birthing classes?  DH found a Bradley class he wants to do because it's supposed to be very husband-friendly, but I'm not sure when it's appropriate to sign up.  This is a hangup for me because last time around I started researching all the things as soon as I got my BFP and I felt like an idiot for doing all that when the MC happened.  I felt like I had jumped the gun and that made me feel foolish.  I feel like I'm compensating this time around by putting things off instead.

5) GTKY: Share a moment in which you felt exceptionally confident and capable.  I like this one!  The time that comes immediately to mind is actually a break-up, which is weird.  I'd been seeing a guy seriously for three or four months and we spent almost every night together, and I was definitely falling for him.  He kept saying things like "I'm crazy about you" or "I love being around you" but eventually I cottoned on to the fact that he was saying all these things to avoid saying "I love you".  So one morning I just asked him flat-out whether or not he was falling in love with me, because I was falling in love with him.  He said no.  For the first time in my life I didn't take it personally -- I just picked up my things and left his apartment.  He asked if we could stay friends and I said no, I wasn't interested in more friends.  I walked out and we never spoke again.  It was sad but at the same time it felt great because I was 100% sure that I had become the person I wanted to be, and there was nothing about myself that I wanted to change so if he didn't love me then that was that and there wasn't anything to be done about it.  This turned into an essay - I haven't thought about that morning in awhile!  But it was such a special realization to know that I had gotten to the place I wanted to be and that I was content with that regardless of what anyone else thought.

sjohns908

1) How far along are you? 18+4

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally? doing better emotionally than physically. Being my 4th baby, it's like my body is telling me "really? This again?". Things hurt sooner than they have before. Emotionally I'm getting better since I can feel movements several times a day now 

3) When is your next appointment? a/s on the 16th and ob appointment on 23rd

4) Rants/Raves/Questions

5) GTKY: Share a moment in which you felt exceptionally confident and capable. no idea

laeberge3

I don't mind at all @aprilsarahjune!  It's been hectic today at work, so I'm glad you got the conversation going

1) How far along are you? 17w6d

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?  Physically, sore. My hips are hurting quite a bit and my back does as well after sitting for periods of time.  I traveled yesterday for work and sat through a deposition and my goodness I was feeling it this morning.  Emotionally, I'm getting nervous for the AS and while I've found the baby's HB easily with the doppler, I'd sure like to see him/her!

3) When is your next appointment? 5/15 for the AS and OB appointment.

4) Rants/Raves/Questions  Honestly, I could rant here everyday about client issues, but I better not, ha! Rave: my sister's bachelorette party is this weekend and we're doing one of those wine and canvas events.  Admittedly, I'm sad to miss the wine but looking forward to painting!

5) GTKY: Share a moment in which you felt exceptionally confident and capable.  Lately, nothing comes to mind.  But, finalizing my first settlement for a client years ago let me know I could handle my practice and made me feel confident that I'm not just making it all up (though some days I totally still am!)

@sjohns908 How exciting that you're feeling movement a lot now! I've felt flutters but they aren't regular yet.

@migdala Good question on the classes; my OB recommends the general classes be taken in the 3rd trimester about 8-10 weeks out. I haven't even thought about that yet, and feel the same as you about researching things - I'm shuffling all the feet. 

aprilsarahjune

@migdala Thanks for sharing!  It takes a lot of confidence and self-discipline to know what you want and need and have the hard conversations that get you there.  I took a very immature way out of a long-term relationship and regret it deeply - not the fact that I broke up with him, but the fact that I did it in a way that did not respect him or the sacrifices we had both previously made to be together.  You were a strong person in that moment and I hope you carry a similar strength with you in other areas of your life!

1) How far along are you? 17 weeks, 2 days

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?  Doing very well this week!  Most of my business counterparts and my family and closest friends have known about this pregnancy for quite some time, but we are just now starting to share the news with others.  Even so, we are telling people on more of an "as needed" basis.  For example, I just told the volunteer coordinator at church and some other officers of a professional organization of which I am soon to be president, so that we can start to plan around my absence.  It is not the fear of loss holding me back from sharing the news, but more of the idea that I am half happy and half sad and want to keep both of the emotions to myself.

3) When is your next appointment? Today!  DH might be able to join me today and he has yet to meet my new ob so I am excited about that .

4) Rants/Raves/Questions

5) GTKY: Share a moment in which you felt exceptionally confident and capable.  I asked this question because as women and mothers we are often hard on ours.  I rocked the bar exam.  For whatever reason, I had endless self-discipline while I was preparing and stayed perfectly calm and determined throughout.  I have been unable to muster that personal discipline in recent years and have been reflecting on what I had within me in those moments so that I might get it back!

laeberge3

@aprilsarahjune It's awesome that you rocked the bar exam! I hated those two days so much and was so not dedicated to studying.  Our testing site had a rule that no one was allowed to leave if they finished within the 15-min mark before the end time (and staying meant collecting all the exams, etc..probably another 30 minutes of sitting there).  Day 2 was MBE days and there were about 20 minutes left and I probably had about 5-6 questions still to finalize.  I could not stand the idea of sitting there for 15 more minutes and penciled in the answers and turned it in right before they restricted us from leaving.  Thankfully it all worked out, but gosh, dedication I did not have! GL with your appointment today

migdala

@aprilsarahjune Omg the bar exam, I've taken it twice now (2 different states - I promise I didn't fail the first time) and I think I'm doing pretty well at repressing those memories   Good for you for rocking it!!!

sqfibemom

1) How far along are you? 15w3d

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally? Today has been ok. I'm always headachy which sucks but my aversions are getting less intense which is nice and the sun is helping my energy and depression. I'm annoyed that my belly is still just looking like blubber, I'm ready for my bump. I know others who are due around the same time and they have the cutest bumps, mine just looks like I enjoy hot dogs too much. I know this being my fourth isn't helping since I have leftover bump from the last three but my gosh I'm ready for an obvious baby bump haha! It's also making this pregnancy still not seem as real. I swear I'm not going to feel legitimately pregnant until the day I deliver at this rate.

3) When is your next appointment? Tuesday

4) Rants/Raves/Questions Haha I basically did my ranting above. The headache and the flub tum are not awesome.

5) GTKY: Share a moment in which you felt exceptionally confident and capable. Most of the time as a parent TBH. I'm struggling with DD1 simply because she's so much like me and I don't know how to make her life easier/more manageable than mine (anxiety wise). She's started with therapy though and that seems to really be helping which is nice, just hard to admit that I don't know what I'm doing when typically I'm pretty confident in my parenting abilities.

sqfibemom

@migdala I'd say anytime now, when we signed up (my first pregnancy) they didn't have you participate until you were a certain gestation. And I totally get putting things off. SO keeps telling me to buy something for this baby but I haven't, I just can't, feels like I'm tempting fate. I also haven't made any big announcements yet.

@sjohns908 I feel ya on the pain. My body feels like it's mocking me daily for thinking I could do this again haha!

@laeberge3 I've wanted to try one of those paint nights forever now but just never get around to it. Have fun!

Maksim's Mom

1) How far along are you? 
17w3d hooray! 

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?
I'm feeling good both physically and emotionally. It's starting to feel real and I'm allowing myself the joy of talking about names and a life with this baby. I'm still using my HB monitor really often but it helps me stay positive and not think of the worse. 
3) When is your next appointment?
It's next week! A/S!!! We will learn the gender 
4) Rants/Raves/Questions
My mother wants to come to the a/s and I initially agreed but now she's mad at me for some stupid thing and I'm not having her come with us. I don't need the drama. Bye 
5) GTKY: Share a moment in which you felt exceptionally confident and capable.
haha that would be labor & delivery with DS! Jeez that was some accomplishment!

nbcarlson

1) How far along are you?
14 weeks today

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?
Physically I am still really tired and also have headaches constantly. Emotionally I am doing better, I have started feeling more excited that this is really going to happen.

3) When is your next appointment?
May 11th

4) Rants/Raves/Questions
My computer is being so slow today! It can even keep up with my typing!

5) GTKY: Share a moment in which you felt exceptionally confident and capable.
I feel this way most days at my job. I love my job and am really good at it. I love talking about it and teaching other people how to do things. I am getting really close to a promotion and I am excited about it but I also hate thinking that it will be awhile before I am really good at it like I currently am.

Uhlease13

1) How far along are you? 
17weeks! 

2) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?
I'm feeling good both physically and emotionally. It's starting to feel real and I'm allowing myself the joy of talking about names and a life with this baby. I'm still using my HB monitor really often but it helps me stay positive and not think of the worse. <<---basically taking @Maksim's Mom  word for word!! Lol sorry!

3) When is your next appointment?
It's Monday for just normal quick check up, then May 26 for A/s!!

4) Rants/Raves/Questions
I still don't know how people can tell the difference between "flutters" and "all the other little things I am feeling down there" haha! Hopefully I'll have some distinct movement soon!

5) GTKY: Share a moment in which you felt exceptionally confident and capable.
Oh gosh, that's a tough one. One of me and dh's first dates was indoor soccer, and I played like my best game ever. Haha. I felt pretty accomplished

Maksim's Mom

@Uhlease13 just goes to show we're not alone in our journey and so many others feel this way take care and wishing the happiest for all of us PGALs...and of course everyone else too!