Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Anyone have a traumatic miscarriage?

I want to share my experience because everyone who I know who has miscarried never went through what I went through.

I had a missed miscarrige. I was measuring 6 weeks when I was supposed to be 8. I went in to get another viability scan and it showed no growth. I opt to take cytotec because I wasn't too keen on carrying my baby after he/she already passed. So I take the pills, pass some tissue and since this was my first pregnancy I think I'm all done.

I was so wrong. 

I was at home and all of a sudden I begin hemorrhaging! (Im not kidding it was like the scene in Carrie when they poured the blood on her) I have my husband take me to the ER. I ended up passing out in the ER,,I wake up to about 12 people around me and I'm,wheeled into a trauma room, where i sat for 9 hours. At 8am I'm finally admited into the hospital. I end up passing out a second time while trying to use the bathroom and fall on the floor. Then they decide to take me to surgery. And that's where it got scary.

Im in a pre-op type room, with about 5 nurses and a doctor all saying "why did they wait this long to bring her here." I almost passed out again, they were able to tilt me bed to keep blood flow to my head. According to my husband they nurses were shocked I didn't crash, cause I apparently was about to. After my D&C I ended up needing 3 blood transfusions due to the massive blood loss.

I wish I knew the gender, I had names picked out too. I just hate feeling like I cant honor my baby properly without a name.

All because I wanted to have a baby.

Re: Anyone have a traumatic miscarriage?

  • I'm so sorry for your loss and that you went through.  I hope you are doing better and have a smooth recovery.  As far as honoring your baby, there are ways to do that without knowing gender.  I've had two now and bought a memorial stone that I put in garden and then planted a perennial at each stone.  That way I have a place to go. Some women have jewelry made or get tattoos. 
  • I had a hemorrhage at 9w2d and needed an emergency D&C. It was like I was peeing blood but couldn't stop. That one took the longest to recover from emotionally. It was terrifying. I needed 4 months of therapy and Ativan for the panic attacks. I was terrified when I went in for surgery that they'd just be like "eff it, let's just do a hysterectomy" while I was out. I could've had a term baby and been feeling back to myself after 4 days, but 3 weeks after I was still passing out if I was standing up for longer than 5-8 minutes. Since then I've had two uneventful chemicals (5w5d, 4w6d) and a cornual ectopic (7w5d, retained another 9 weeks) requiring two surgeries and 4 months of recovery. But the hemorrhage was still the worst.

    I'm sorry for your loss.

    ***TW: I handle things differently than maybe others would***
    I don't do real names for my losses. I find it helps me to keep it light and impersonal. The hemorrhage was Rexxie because I felt like it slashed it's way out of me like an angry velociraptor. The chemicals were Ping and Blip, because they barely popped up on my radar. The cornual ectopic was Womb Goblin because it just wedged itself in and wouldn't leave; I'd imagine like Smeagol in Lord of the Rings. My surgeon laughed so hard when I told her I named my retained products Womb Goblin. She's all, "Well, we'll be sure to take care of Womb Goblin for you!" Later I found out it was a difficult procedure since everything was so wedged in the corner. It was a fitting name.
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