May Randoms - Page 2 — The Bump
October 2016 Moms

May Randoms


Re: May Randoms

  • I'm not the "stranger danger" type by any means (maybe to a fault?), I'm more bummed out that there are potentially several women, some that I may have grown close and attached to, lurking but not participating. What gives?
  • Is FB really that much better?  I don't have FB so maybe I'm missing something.
  • I imagine the allure of the FB group is privacy when you're sharing about your LOs.  I can totally see the appeal of that
  • The group is exclusive, so I loved the privacy aspect, and I loved getting a small glimpse of the girls as people outside of their avatars on the bump and pictures of our bellies and babies (not that those aren't great, but we ARE still individuals, not just moms), so it was definitely more intimate. 
    I didn't like how it was less organized than TB and more of a free-for-all, but I get stressed out by stuff like that easily.
    I consider logging back into FB sometimes, but then never do.
  • CopperBoom86CopperBoom86
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2017
    I'm a dirty lurker these days because I've been checking in on little Abigail. I think a lot of us have been lurking for that reason lately. 

    And honestly, FB rocks. I mean, TB definitely has its advantages... gifs and whatnot... but FB is so much more personal. I feel like I really know everyone now. Most of us are friends on FB, so we get a much larger glimpse into each other's lives. Also, like you mentioned, it's a private group, so you don't have to worry about randos reading your personal information and creeping on pics of your baby. 

    Anyway, I just wanted to add my two cents in so you can account for at least some of the lurking. :)

    Adding- I do sometimes want to post over here, but it isn't the same O16 board. Y'all have made it your own, which is awesome, but now the OG's are the ones who don't belong lol. 
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  • I think we are a pretty welcoming bunch  :).  I was welcomed with open arms but the group has even changed since I started posting regularly. I think it would be nice if the OG's joined back in especially since there are still some original ladies here. The only issue I ever had was someone coming in with a vendetta trying to throw shade and then going in on someone new to the group. 
  • I am certain @kmolleltz would really appreciate knowing that you are checking in. Good to see you darlin', don't be a stranger now :) @CopperBoom86
  • S'a bedtime is 7:00. She nor ally gets 3-4 hrs worth of naps but by 5/5:30 she's acting tired. Sometimes we put her down for a nap if it's close enough to 5 but honestly I don't even like doing that. Is it normal that she's getting so tired that close but still so far from bedtime?  I get home around 5:30 so I'm able to distract her for the most part until the bedtime routine starts at 6:20 but while I'm getting her ready she throws such a fit. 
  • I would say if that is her consistent behavior, then that is HER 'normal'. What are her nap times? If she just wings it at nap time, I would suggest maybe scheduling them for a few days and see if that helps :)
  • Oh!
    So, I'm a year smoke free :)
  • Oh!
    So, I'm a year smoke free :)

    Yay!  That's awesome!
  • Thank you :)
  • @AllyTheKid That's great!!!

    So I totally called in sick today so I could spend time with the baby. I just needed a mental health day haha
  • fitlady21 said:
    @AllyTheKid That's great!!!

    So I totally called in sick today so I could spend time with the baby. I just needed a mental health day haha
    I feel you on that. But I already took the day off after Memorial Day and I'm trying to save my days in case of emergency. I've already had to call out twice since I've been back for stupid stuff  :s.  I need more vacation days wahhhh. 
  • That definitely warrants a sick day in my opinion!

    I'm priming myself to be one of the future policy makers of America. I'll be pushing parental leave, so if you ever see my name on a ballot in the future vote for me ;)
  • brzvicebrzvice
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    @CopperBoom86 join in anytime girl, this board is missing it's Southern Belle!
    Calling all bumpies- It's safe to come out now!
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  • brzvicebrzvice
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    @Ladybug2821 If it is getting close to bedtime and V is wanting to nap I let her take a quick catnap. No longer then 20 minutes. When it comes time for bedtime it does take a bit longer to get her down but nothing major is disrupted.

    @fitlady21 I contemplate either calling in or completely quitting my job  Usually right before I have to leave. You are not alone, we have to just keep grindin' along and maybe one of these days our situations will change.

    @AllyTheKid Congrats on your 1 year, Keep it up!

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  • What kinds of finger foods are you guys feeding your LOs?  The pedi suggested we give more finger foods and less puree.  We do bread crusts, scrambled eggs, strawberries, bananas, crackers, chicken, pork.  I have seen it suggested that I roll slippery foods like avocado in oatmeal first to give it a grip, but instead it just seems to clump on LO's fingers and the avocado goes slip slidin' away.  He is super lazy apparently and prefers to be fed (he'll stick his arms behind him and lean forward with his mouth wide's kinda cute and hard to resist, I'll admit) rather than feed himself. 

    I'm hoping for a little inspiration here.  Pedi suggested frozen, thawed blueberries.  What else ya got?

  • @AllyTheKid that's amazing re your one year mark.  Keep it up.  I am so proud of you - what an incredible accomplishment in the face of such a difficult task!
  • Ladybug2821Ladybug2821
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2017
    @Kgridley27 We hit a bump in the road with S's diarrhea issue so the only things we've been giving are rice cereal and those teething wafers. She can handle the teething wafers herself but when we gave her puffs, she struggled to get them in her mouth. I'm hoping to start back with purées tomorrow. I really want to give her eggs but I'm scared since she has a dairy allergy. I know it's not the same but now I'm more weary of giving her highly allergic things. She actually does want to feed herself though especially with the spoon. She just doesn't have the coordination yet. 
  • Thanks girl :)

    Finger Foods: Pfft. I'm not a professional in the field of pediatric development but- I wouldn't worry about finger foods until some teeth show up and LO starts exhibiting an advancement in fine motor skills personally.
    Your little man may be on a different level than mine in that respect, but I just don't envision meal time being very successful if I let Johnny lead the way!
  • Hypothetical Scenario:

    The father of an SO's ex-partner passes away. The SO wants to attend the memorial service.

    How would you, assuming you were the other SO, feel about the situation?
  • @Kgridley27 We do any fruit (watermelon, strawberries, raspberries, banana, blueberries, etc.), avocado, eggs, and any meat like steak, chicken, pork, and we have also done crab and salmon. She's also had homemade spaghetti sauce over spaghetti squash. We haven't tried any grains yet. I'm guessing once they have done a lot, you could probably give them anything you eat. 

    @AllyTheKid Honestly, it depends on the relationship between the SO and the ex as well as the SO and the exs father. I personally never kept in contact with any of my exs or their families so I would never attend. If your SO kept in contact and you knew, then I would think it's appropriate and would attend with them.
  • @AllyTheKid I would think it's really weird if a SO wanted to attend and never kept in contact with the ex or their father.
  • The ex's father (and ex) had been lifetime family friends.
  • Oh I would definitely expect them to go then. But like I said, I would go with him as well.
  • @AllyTheKid personally I would have no issue with it.  In my opinion, anyone is allowed to grieve in any way that helps them get through it, no matter the source of the grief.  Piggybacking on the comment by @fitlady21 that I would attend as well, I would leave that up to the SO.  "Happy to go if you'd like me to, but understand completely if you want to go alone."  I'm assuming that is what was meant anyway, but just throwing that out there.
  • That's what I would do too @kgridley27.

    I am the SO with the ex though. His father is my father's best friend, so he was in my life my whole life, long before my ex and I ever dated. 
    Just trying to get as many POVs as I can. I'm not going, given recent relationship turmoil I think it would come back around to bite me with my SO, but I also feel like a shitty human being for not going. He said he understands me wanting to go and wouldn't be upset- then turned around and said he is "uncomfortable watching our children so you can go to your ex's dad's whatever. Maybe you can find a babysitter." So I said I just won't go. He then said "I don't care if you go. I just want some compromise." I reiterated that I'm not going. He said "Fine." and he "hopes I don't resent him for it."

    I can't help but feel like it is some kind of trap. If he truly understood or was okay with it, I don't think it would make him too uncomfortable to watch his own kids for an hour or so or feel the need to 'compromise' on anything... so I'm just not going, and I am angry at myself because I feel like I'm giving into a bully, I am angry at him (internally, not expressing it or discussing it because I don't think it would end well) because I feel like he is being very immature and selfish. I already told him I'm going to put his feelings first- so I am sticking to that- but I'm disappointed that he can't put his jealousy aside long enough to feel secure and comfortable enough with us or himself to let me attend a memorial without turning it in to something it shouldn't be turned into.
    SHOULD I talk to him about this? I really don't know the right way to approach it, but I DO feel resentful and like I was "unforceably forced" into making a decision based on fear of how it could haunt me later :( I'm trying to salvage my relationship. I didn't plan on this happening so I could run back to the arms of my grieving ex, but I know my SO, and I know that is exactly how he would try to contort the whole situation. Especially right now while he's feeling insecure and vulnerable. 
    I feel like I'm always complaining about something! Is it even worth it? Why does everything have to be so god damn technical and difficult?
  • H just said that S pulled herself up in her crib to a standing position. Too soon, too soon  :s.  I've seen her somewhat do this in the pack n play but wasn't able to get all the way up. I think she's going to completely by pass crawling. And I'm sure this doesn't bode well for sleep. 
  • @AllyThekid I do not envy your situation.  I don't know all of the ins and outs of your relationship status so I'm a little wary of giving you the "wrong" advice.  I understand somewhat how you're feeling although I've never been in this exact situation.  Since you say you have already made your decision and want to stick to it, I suppose I would recommend maybe penning a heartfelt letter or some other regarding your ex's father to whomever would be the best person to receive it.  That's something to do for you so you can work through your grief and show support for people who have had meaning in your life regardless of the current status of that relationship.

    I'm warily suggesting that you just "let it go" re discussing this with him.  It sounds like an issue that is connected to lots of other little sore spots and you may want to avoid pressing those spots too hard if your ultimate goal is to heal.  That being said, if you think you will harbor any resentment toward him for passive-aggressively preventing you from going, then definitely get it out.  If you don't think you can totally let it go and handle the grief aspect without physically going to the memorial, then YES, tell him exactly how you feel.  He can put on his big boy pants and deal with it.

  • I'm a dirty dirty lurker :) 

    Well, only recently. BUT, second to what @CopperBoom86 said. Also, sometimes I want to post, but I forgot my login. My desktop has me automatically logged in, so here I am. 
  • Thank you. I actually did write a letter to send with my sister this morning, I couldn't think of any other option. If it is still bothering me as bad come Friday, I'll have a talk. If not, I'll let it go.
  • I'm pretty squeamish by nature and can't handle watching surgeries or listening to people talk about icky medical stuff.  For some reason I had this vision that giving birth was going to change me and I would come out the other side with a strong stomach and laugh in the face of guck.  H and I were on the topic of LO's birth for some reason in the shower last night and yup. nope.  Not fixed!  Almost passed out.
  • AllyTheKidAllyTheKid
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited May 2017
    @Kgridley27 You know... I HAD a strong stomach and was never squeamish- until I had DD. I can hardly handle tending to "boo boos" if they're bloody now. 
    Oddly, I am only squeamish when it comes to my kids, myself, or my partner. For some reason seeing THEM bleed or hurt makes me feel physically ill. Hyper Empathy maybe?
  • If you have a video monitor, which one do you have?  And do you recommend it?
  • We have the Infant Optix DXR-8 I believe it is called. We love it. It has great picture & sound and you can control the lens in the baby's room from the monitor. We have used that feature a few times and imagine it will come in handy when LO is more mobile and getting into trouble in his room. You can also speak through the monitor to the lens in baby's room. We have used that sometimes to communicate if we need help or a bottle refill, etc. again, I see that coming in handy a bit more as LO grows ("go back to bed! Don't climb that!" Haha). The one con is that the battery is not good enough to last an entire night unplugged. It hasn't been a problem for us because we just leave it plugged in unless we bring it to another room. Another con is that it is decently pricey but we had registered for it so it wasn't as much of a factor for us. Good luck!
  • @Ladybug2821 I had the summer infant one and hated it! It wouldn't pick up in my room (we have a lot of interior brick) so I got the Motorola one. I have an app for it and the monitor which is nice. I never use the monitor unless I'm in the main living area (it won't pick up in my room due to brick and distance) but it does work on my phone. I really like this one. It can play music, take pictures of your LO sleeping, you can talk to them, contorl
    brivhtness, and move the lens.
  • As I was leaving town today I saw a broke down car with a totally messed up tire, and I felt awful for whoever that person was since we have big storms headed our way.
    When I came back into town, the doors to the car were qide ipen but there was nobody around it or in it, and I got irrationally upset thinking somebody broke into that poor persons car and pitentially burglarized them :( 
    So I called the police to check it out. I'd want somebody to that for me if it were MY car.
  • Good on you, girl
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