Baby Shower

juliannacarter97

Hey all was wondering at how many weeks you plan on having your baby shower? This is my 2 (4tech) baby and I for the life of me can't remember how many weeks I was when I had my shower. I know it's early to be planning but people have already been asking since we announced gender and all. Let me hear your thoughts. 

dragonfly87-2

This is my first, but most of my friends have their showers anytime after 28-30 weeks. I don't want a shower, but my mom is insistent on doing one when she visits in September. I will be 28 weeks at that point. 

DuchessOfCambridge

I'm hoping to have one at 27 weeks because that timing works well for me and doesn't infringe on any weddings we have in the fall, particularly my bffs who would be throwing my shower. It's not technically "etiquette" but life doesn't always revolve nicely around some arbitrary rule of when you're supposed to have a shower (I think 32-36 weeks is what etiquette says). 

pawcall

My SIL is throwing one in September. I'll be like 30-34 weeks depending on when it's scheduled 

destinyd8

My family and friends plan on throwing mine at 26/27 weeks. All of my family lives in another state, as do a lot of my friends so this works best for most of them. I agree with @DuchessOfCambridge..Some people like to talk about etiquette but if it works for you & those hosting & attending the shower then live your life 

slaven

Mine is the end of August when I'm about 28 weeks I think because I have to fly from GA to MA for it. I know you can fly later but I don't want to risk it. 

lancomechica2

We haven't announced we are pregnant yet. We already have a little boy. If this is a girl I think my friends will throw a sprinkle sometime in the late summer. We've got so much going on this summer that isn't ideal but once school starts it's hard for many friends because they have kiddos in activities. My DC friends will likely do a ladies brunch when we are in town next and it's like a mini sprinkle. 

TeacherMama7

We won't be having another shower since we already had several before our first. But, this showers were all held when I was 7-8 months pregnant.

emucoleman

This is my 2nd. With my first I think my shower was pretty late in my pregnancy...probably 36 weeks or so? Maybe even later. It wasn't really my choice when it was done, my MIL did most of the planning so it was just done when she was in town. If you have strong feelings about when your shower is you should just do it when you want. If people want to judge you for that, they need to get a life. 

MKMandeville

With my first my sister and mom threw it and it just worked out for my sister's spring break at 28 weeks but it ended up working out for the best because I went on strict bedrest at 30.

av2323

I had my shower at 30 weeks (baby showed early at 36W6D).  I was much calmer after my shower.  Up to that point I was in major freak out mode.

KLink15

My mom's throwing one and then my bff is and I think they are planning towards the end of tri 2 when I am still semi comfortable.

QTAMum3

I had mine with my first on march 6th and he was born march 23rd but I was due the 29th. I can't wrap my head around how many weeks I was but I thought it was cutting it a bit close but it worked out in the end. 

2nd DS didn't get a shower and our DD didn't either but a few people gave us gifts. The first 3 kiddos were so close in age that I wasn't really comfortable having more than one big shower. 

I'm sure we won't have a shower this time around either, we still have so much left from DD (and I'm feeling were having another girl) that we only really need a few big things that we'll purchase ourselves(crib, car seat, new car lol)

kaitlinliz

Our anniversary is right around 31w. So I don't think I want to do it in Sept like I originally thought - thatd be too much for me. My mom and 2 SILs are teachers so I'll see if we can do it in August and that way no ones wasting their only freetime running around hosting. I'll probably be 26-27w. I threw my friends for her at the beginning of Sept - she was 28-29w and I definitely wouldn't want it later than that. Just watching her made me realize anything past that isn't fun for the mom to be

KLink15

Hey ladies,
So I know it's kinda becoming a thing for guys to do like a party where they have their friends bring diapers and either do like a poker night or beer bust or whatever, my only thing is DH and I are planning on cloth diapers and I feel like that would be kinda hard to do that way. He had said canned food to make baby food with but everything I am reading says canned food should be a last resort. Any ideas? I am at a loss, we don't really want to do a co-ed shower but he still wants to do something to celebrate becoming a daddy. 

kissthesky32

@KLink15 What about just a hang out with the guys? A "bachelor party" type thing for becoming a dad? It won't get you gifts, but it sounds like the typical guy gifts don't work for you anyway.

am+mommy

My first baby shower was the same month I was due and I thought that was cutting it too close. I got a second shower because my first two are 9 years apart and that was when I was 6 months because we were moving out of state. Not planning on having one for this baby. We still have everything from my toddler, all we would need is boy clothes if baby is a boy. 

KLink15

@kissthesky32 I suppose you have a point, he could definitely do that!

ideamainline

For any of you who don't live near family or don't have a large friend network where you live - what's your plan for baby shower? My parents live several states away, and hubby and I have moved quite over the years with his work (so our friends are scattered all across the country), and we're not active in a religious community.

I've considered some sort of 'virtual shower', but honestly that feels pretty lame (both for me and the guests). Has anyone seen a creative solution to this?

TeacherMama7

@ideamainline i have moved and have family in different states too. So I had a shower in Minnesota for my family and friends , a shower in IL for my extended family, and a shower in Ohio for my Ohio family and friends. If I had to fly back, they either did small gifts or shipped them to ohio, le gift cards. 

DuchessOfCambridge

@KLink15 you could also substitute baby food for diapers? Or no gifts like kissthesky said

TeacherMama7

@KLink15 if they don't bring gifts, he could still ale it feel festive by doing beer drinking competitions out of baby bottles, etc

sojoba

@ideamainline I'm in a similar situation, we just moved out of state last year and we have a very  limited circle of family and friends here. I was considering skipping a shower but my mom really wants me to fly out to NY for one in July. My close friends also want to all fly here (from CA/NY) in August to throw me one. It kind of overwhelms me to be honest and no one is really listening when I try to decline. I mean, I see all the fun in having a shower and appreciate their efforts but all the traveling is making me feel like it will be more stressful than it needs to be. 

TeacherMama7

@sojoba ultimately, they should listen to his you're feeling about it... from personal experience, I flew to two showers and it was just fun to be celebrated. Anything you feel that would be twin if to fly with, you can return and put the money on a gift card and rebuy where you live. It's fun to celebrate you and baby, and get some much needed baby items! What about it makes you feel anxious?

kaitieb14

My brother is enlisting military and goes to basic July 11th so we're debating when to have the shower. We thought about doing it in September but that will be when he's graduating and shipping to his first assignment. I want just one and I want my mom to throw it so we're debating how odd it would be to have it early, like late June, so it's not happening at the same time as all of his stuff and so it's not in October when I'm uncomfortable. Also all the women in my family tend to go into labor early, some very early and get put on bedrest for some of the third trimester, so we don't want to do it at a time where that's a big possibility with my hereditary background. 

emucoleman

@kaitieb14 If September is a busy month why not August...or July? (I'm sure you have reasons I'm just wondering) Also, do you know the gender already or will you by late June? It's not necessary to know for a baby shower but if you're finding out, it might be nice for you and your guests if people know. (Then again, you might prefer gender neutral items!) Another thing to consider is that especially if you're a FTM (I think you are? Correct me if I'm wrong) you may not be showing by then. That doesn't mean you can't have a shower but I think for me it might make me feel a little uncomfortable to have a baby shower if I don't even look pregnant. 

All that said... I think you should have it whenever is most comfortable for you!

ideamainline

@sojoba I totally get that. I think my mom wants me to fly to Houston (where she lives) to do a shower in the church I grew up in (even though I don't attend church anymore). In the end, I likely will take the attitude of @TeacherMama7 and push through some initial awkwardness to build these memories with my mother, and then try to also find a location to have a small shower with a few friends. 

Looking back, I don't want to regret giving up on these experiences and memories primarily due to inconvenience that I'll forget with time. 

sojoba

@TeacherMama7 thanks for the advice. I know that ultimately I'll enjoy it, I guess I'm nervous about making my mom go through all of the trouble of a shower. I'm more apprehensive about having my friends visit bc they'd all want to stay with me, and I really don't think I'll be able to handle 7 house guests. I am being a little irrational but I think first tri also has me in a bit of hermit mode and I'll feel differently in another month or so. 

kaitieb14

@emucoleman so I am a FTM and was fully prepared to not show for a while...but then I popped this week. Which my husband and doctor were not surprised by because I have a tilted uterus that has been visible my whole life anyways so they were like yeah of course you're showing now. July we won't do because we will be focused on getting brother to basic and I live on the coast in SC so August is literally the most miserable month ever. So. Much. Sweat. We will know by late June though!

TeacherMama7

@sojoba people really love and feel honored to throw showers for their daughters or family members. I'm sure it will mean a lot for your mom to be able to do it for you. I understand your apprehension of hosting 7 people, that's a lot! Maybe if you go out for a few meals it would make it easier on you? And let people crash on couches with blankets too!

TeacherMama7

@ideamainline i think you're right! You will enjoy the showers, and look back on them with good memories. And when you are invited to wedding and baby showers for the rest of your life, you'll feel so grateful to help others as they helped and honored you. ♥️