GTKY : Your Most Embarrassing Story

mrs_fogue

Inspired by the one and only @carries2018!  Let's get to know each other by sharing one embarrassing story about yourself.

carries2018

i feel like i have given enough material. i judge all of you for keeping your poops in a group...literally.

but for the sake of GTKY here is another one.

when i was younger i was in baton class, i was super shy and i was scared to ask if i could go to the bathroom. i was doing a trick and peed my pants. not a little...like puddle on the floor. i ran to the bathroom in embarrassment and when i finally came out my instructor was cleaning MY pee off the floor. i never went back. i was like 8 or 9 so it isnt even like i had a semi excuse of being young.

mrs_fogue

I don't have any pee or poop stories, but when I was in elementary school it was fairly common for me to work myself up in an anxiety frenzy over anything new.  It would regularly make me sick.  I remember one time in third grade I was feeling very ill.  I got up to tell my teacher I needed to go to the bathroom when it hit.  I remember her giving me this "ew get away from me" look while I'm panicking searching for a trash can or something.  That's when it hit and I puked all over myself and the desk I was at.  So embarrassing!

monstera13

Oops, I posted my embarrassing story in Weekly Randoms before I saw this GTKY was created.

Here's one that still embarrasses me from childhood: In the 4th grade, we were playing Around the World with math flashcards. Remember that game? Two students stand up, whoever answers the question correctly first stays standing, and a new challenger stands up. I was super nerdy and got way too excited about the competition, making me fart as I yelled out my answer. Sure, I won Around the World, but the other kids made fart noises at me for the next few months.

Boobopgirl

Well, I just shared my...getting stung in the ass followed by public removal of pantsness story in the other thread....

Probably the next one...I was in high school and I was cold, so I pulled my arms inside my hoodie.  So then...I was still cold, so I pulled my head in too...and I was sitting there inside my little shell and I hear the teacher go.          "[boobopgirl]  What the hell are you doing?"  at literally the exact same time I was like "wait, what the hell am I doing?" So apparently I popped my head out and said "I havery no F--cking clue Mrs. S." So the next day I walk into detention and the monitor asks what I'm in for and I'm like..."I was cold and then I swore at a teacher."  And literally every person in the room pulled their head in their shirt (small high school).  and for weeks every time I walked into a room, SOMEONE would pull their head in their shirt.

bluejeanbabi05

Oh man I have one I still cringe at so hard when I think of it. I was probably like 18 or 19 and went to a friend's house who's older sister was having a baby shower. There were babies everywhere, and somehow one ended up in my arms. I had no idea what to do with it, and it was just staring at me like "entertain me, bitch" so I panicked and like bared my teeth and clicked them together. I didn't mean it to be threatening or anything, in my panicked state I thought maybe it would be funny, but the baby started to cry. Probably because it thought I was about to bite it. I don't know if anyone saw me, but I handed that baby off to the first person I saw and got tf outta there. 

eta: my daughter is a lucky lady.

ChocolateIsLife

Well, pretty much any story from Jr. High qualifies for embarrassing. My first day of school in 6th grade was horribly epic. I went through a huge growth spurt the summer before, so had to wear my moms tapered "mom" jeans and my brothers flannel top. The day before school started I slept with gum and it ended up all over my hair, so I had to get this awful lopsided boy haircut. I had braces with 2 layers of rubber bands, cystic acne, and glasses. It's true, they couldn't keep the boys off of me.  Orchestra was my first class, and I was so nervous to introduce myself in our class circle, that I threw up right before saying my name. That pretty much set the tone for the rest of my Jr. High days...and the rest has been blocked out.   

Most embarrassing as an adult would be walking through a screen door and ripping it off the frame at my bosses Christmas party. I wasn't even drunk!

carries2018

bluejeanbabi05 said:

Oh man I have one I still cringe at so hard when I think of it. I was probably like 18 or 19 and went to a friend's house who's older sister was having a baby shower. There were babies everywhere, and somehow one ended up in my arms. I had no idea what to do with it, and it was just staring at me like "entertain me, bitch" so I panicked and like bared my teeth and clicked them together. I didn't mean it to be threatening or anything, in my panicked state I thought maybe it would be funny, but the baby started to cry. Probably because it thought I was about to bite it. I don't know if anyone saw me, but I handed that baby off to the first person I saw and got tf outta there. 

eta: my daughter is a lucky lady.

ChocolateIsLife

Seriously can't stop laughing at your story @bluejeanbabi05

bluejeanbabi05

Even back then, I was prime mom material. 

PizzaMonster3

I wish I could remember some of my early childhood embarrassing stories. Most of the ones I remember are from college drunken nights - ironically. 
One night, I dolled up my make up to the nines and tried bright red lipstick for the first time. I kept reapplying throughout the night because I got so many complements. Well apparently I reapplied right before I crossed The Point Of No Return so that the last thing I remember was wiping off my makeup at the end of the night and seeing bright red smears and thinking I was bleeding to death. I had a full blown meltdown on the living room floor and it took 20 minutes for my friends to get me to understand it was my lipstick!

jessafishy

@bluejeanbabi05 I feel you on being super awkward with babies. I had never even changed a diaper before DS. 

I was playing with my niece when she was around 7 months old and she liked to hold herself up (i.e. Me to hold her up so she was standing) and bounce up and down. My arms got tired so I stood her up at the coffee table. She was holding on, I was supporting her a bit, and then she decided she wanted to bounce again and SMACK, hit her face right on the table. Hard enough to push one of the teeth that was coming in through the skin.

I felt SO AWFUL. 

shan24

My ex-husband is in the military and was getting ready to go on tour to Afghanistan. His buddy's girlfriend was new to town (they had been longer distance) and he really wanted me to befriend her so she'd have someone to hang out with while he was away. We went over one night to play board games and hang out and somehow the topic turned to children. XH and I had been trying, but stopped when he got notice for tour because I didn't want to be pregnant alone. Well, in my buzzed state, I went on and on and on about how horrible it would be to be pregnant and alone while your husband was on tour. Suddenly, the poor girl burst into tears and ran into their bedroom.  I guess the reason she moved was because she was pregnant. I could have DIED, I was so mortified. Needless to say, a friendship never developed. 

I learned very quickly to keep my trap shut where others people's reproductive choices are concerned. 

Also, I have nothing but the greatest respect and admiration for women who are pregnant and give birth alone and single moms. Those women are badass rock stars. 

ChocolateIsLife

@bluejeanbabi05 I feel like that story is so funny because it is so relatable. I have always been nervous holding babies out of fear that I will make them cry, and then look like a broken human to everyone. 

crazypuglady

@carries2018- I was a baton twirler for 6 years Did you stick with it or were you done after your incident?

@bluejeanbabi05 -I literally laughed out loud picturing that whole scenario 

I was in the 6th grade (first year of middle school for us) and the buses were doing evacuation drills before school. In elementary school, we would file out the back of the bus, sitting down on the edge and hopping off. But nobody on this bus was sitting, they were all jumping down from a standing position. I was really shy and intimidated by the older students too, so I didn't grab the kid's hands who were helping the others get off the bus. I was torn as what to do... do I jump like everyone else, or do I sit like I was always taught to do?? So I assumed a sort of squatting position and jumped- only my feet didn't jump very high and I ended up belly flopping out of the bus onto the ground. In front of everyone. yep. To make matters worse, there was a bus behind ours getting ready to do their evacuation drill and all the kids saw what happened. Yup.. I was THAT girl.

mrs_fogue

@crazypuglady this one is the best LOL story yet!  At least the story I pictured was. 

purplestarz

I'm sure I have worse stories than what I'm about to say, but I must have blocked them from memory.

This was probably 4th or 5th grade in PE glass. We were doing sit-ups where someone else holds your feet on the ground. I was paired with a boy in my class and I totally farted in his face in the middle of my sit ups. I think I died a little that day. 

Boobopgirl

@crazypuglady.  i once fell getting off the school bus (out the regular door) and literally landed AT THE FEET of the school nurse was walking in from her car.  The people who didn't see it happening thought they had to call the nurse because I fell and couldn't get up...

on_the_move

I was so awkward that I'm sure there are many more, but the one that springs to mind was at my wedding. 

We were getting ready for the garter toss and a chair was brought to the dance floor. I had on a big puffy dress and as I was sitting down the chair slid from under me and I fell on my butt in front of all our family and friends!!!

PizzaMonster3

lol wedding awkward - during the bouquet toss, people kept joking that I would hit the chandelier. Well I was a little giddy from the night and totally took out the chandelier on the first toss - broke a few of the arms and they were dangling pitifully from the ceiling. On the next toss I was so mortified that I threw it directly into the ground behind me.

There was no third toss!

VLillyV

Gosh, reading all of these makes me embarrassed that I don't have any cool stories!

Let's seeeeeeeee. 

When I was really young, talking elementary school age I had a big fat crush on a teenage boy who worked at Chuck E. Cheese. He was so sweet and used to give me a handful of tokens every time he saw me. Well, one day I somehow banded with a bunch of strange girls and sent them to find out if he liked me back (he didn't) but all the while, I hid in my castle of the slides and tubes above the games. I was too embarrassed to come down for hours it seemed! I also used to pretend to chew gum in front of him cuz I thought that was "hot". I must have looked so silly!

Then there was a pretty mean story. This one involved kissing a pole. I used to try pretty hard to fit in with the older girls in my community and they were REALLY mean. I didn't realize that they would play really cruel tricks on me at my expense. One of these was to tell me I had to make out with a pole, which I did. The pole was on the playground. I don't remember why this happened, all I remember is that I did it and this made me realize they were big jerks and I was a big dummy. It was so gross though, and so embarrassing!!!

sjohns908

I have a very long list of embarrassing stories, so I'll probably end up flooding this thread by the time I'm done thinking of them lol

Two of my gfs and I went out for dinner and "a few drinks" one night. We ended up at the bars and all of us were plastered. My dh and one of the other girl's dh's were watching our 5 combined kids at her house. It was around 1am and we called our husbands and told them they had to come get us. So they get there (with all 5 kids in tow, like responsible adults at a bar at 1am lol), and we're walking out. Suddenly, dh sees this girl he was friends with in hs. He had a crush on her, but she never had the same feelings, supposedly. Anyways, the week of our wedding, she had texted him telling him not to do it, blah blah blah. She also had a habit of running her mouth about me and saying that I was a bitch wife who never let's him do anything (completely false, he prefers to be at home with me and the kids then going out). So he starts talking to her and I see a drink on their table and go "oh, this looks good" and I take her drink and drink half of it. Then I start pretending to be all buddy buddy with her and hanging all over dh in the meantime. I'm sure I made a complete ass out of myself.

So we're all walking out to the cars and I'm laughing so hard over all of it that I piss my pants. Like full on soaked. Right in front of dh, my gfs and my one gf's husband, who still doesn't let me live it down to this day. Good thing I had leather seats in my car because I had nothing to sit on to protect cloth if I had them 

Boobopgirl

This thread totally puts me in mind of another on we should do.  Closer to when we're all starting to give birth, we should have a thread for STM+ to share "I'm a terrible parent/embarrassing mom blunders" make the FTMS feel better when they start having them.

edited because it deleted a word and didn't make sense

Maksim's Mom

@sjohns08 whew I thought I was the only one who's gonna share an embarrassing drunk story. 

So there i was, 25 yo, newly single after a long and horrible breakup from a super controlling xh. I was out w my gf and drinking a ton. Then we walk outside and we see a really cute guy looking our way. I had really high wedges on and tried to sit on a guard rail...aaand I fell over backwards into the road. Thank GOD I wasn't run over. My gf helped me up and I had scratches all over my arms. Yeah. Low point. Not a good look. I'm soo much more mature now

carries2018

Zomg @crazypuglady I am crying I'm laughing so hard. 

Also yea after a few years after I was certain no one would remember me I went back. But I was terrible haha. But it was fun! 

carries2018

@VLillyV I need to go find those girls and beat them up on the playground. By that I mean glare really hard in their direction. 

nbcarlson

I literally had the smallest bladder as a child and had to pee all the time. It typically wasn't an issue aside from having to bathroom ALL the time. Well in 2nd grade I was at a friend's birthday party at her house. Her parent's also had friends over and one of them was in the bathroom for what felt like forever. All of my friends were going out to jump on the trampoline and I stupidly went even though I had to pee so bad. Naturally we were all jumping and having a good time and something funny happened and the laughing with the jumping caused me to piss my pants on the trampoline with tons of my friends. It was horrific! 

canonmom413

My most embarrasing story isn't even a funny or good one. It was legit awful!

My dad was an extreme alcholic (thanking God everyday hes 12 years sober), and we lived in a small town. I mean small. Like everybody really knew everyone. We also lived on the main downtown road. So to get the to bars, my dad would walk  wobble and stumble down the road. This means those who knew me, knew this was my father because on the rare occasion he was sober, he would come to school functions etc. Very rare. Anywho, when DH and I were dating he was teaching my how to drive. I had a written permit, but because of NJ laws, he wasnt allowed to be in the car with me while driving. He took me to a church parking lot where of course police were called for "suspicious activity". The cop who showed up, asked for my ID. He saw my address and said, "You're (Dad's name) 's daughter" . I told him yes sir, and never have been caught doing anything wrong, was terrified. He explained to me how hard it must be at home and blah blah blah. All in front of DH (then BF). I mean DH knew kind of what it was like, but it was mortifying to have this cop slam sympathy on me in front of him. Anyway, he let us go with no reprecussions. The next day at school was awful. Word gets around FAST! But it was more so getting made fun of for "being let go" by the cops because my dad was a drunk.

crazypuglady

@carries2018 - Oh I was not really good either. I started late (I was 11) and all the other girls started at like 4 or 5. So I really didn't have enough years to get very good. That and I have pretty poor hand-eye coordination and less than stellar dance skills. But I had a blast and made some great friends.

Mommaswizz

Ohhhh these stories are making me laugh and also giving me faith in the human condition. There's no one above a horrendously embarrassing story lol. 

My worst story from my younger years was probably at 13 on vacation with my family. I didnt realize i was going to have my period (or ididnt realize how heavy it would be?). Either way, i didnt mention to my mother that i didnt have proper supplies to deal with a period. We spent one day walking around a quaint town and i had MASSIVE blood stains on my super cool shorts all day. Like the size of 2 giant hand prints on my butt. I wanted to die. I'm not sure why i didnt reach out for help. It was horrible.

All of my adult stories involve getting drunk and peeing the bed. It's shamefully happened more than once. 

shan24

I actually have another. My very first year teaching, I taught at a very large high school in Manitoba. We lived close enough to XH's work that he usually walked and I drove our car. This particular day, he needed to drive me. It had snowed the night before. I get out of the car and as I'm closing the door, I slip on some ice and fall, landing face-first in a snow bank. I sit up, snow dripping down my face to see three full bus loads of student staring at me open-mouthed. I look left and see all the teachers in the lounge staring at me through the floor to ceiling windows, also open-mouthed. I sat in shock for a minute or two before XH realized what happened and came around to see if I was ok. I shamefully climbed back in the car and made him drive me around d until I could compose myself (and fix my makeup)!

KSweet

You guys are hysterical. I wish my story was funny but it's just embarrassing and gross. One of my labors was a planned homebirth with a doctor. But my labor was so short (one hour from the first contraction to the birth) that I ended up pooping on our bed because my body didn't have time to "clean out" beforehand. I don't mean the little bit they say that you do in the hospital that the nurse quickly wraps up in the chuck pad. Unfortunately, the doctor didn't make it in time for birth, so it was just my husband and he ended up grabbing a towel and wiping me off. It would have been such a lovely birth too, except I can't get over that part of it. I guess he recovered, since this is the fourth child after that one  

bluejeanbabi05

So this just happened, and I thought I'd share, because what's better than sharing your most embarrassing moments with 300 of your closest friends/lurkers.

If you're sick of hearing about The Adventures of Bluejeanbabi05 and Her Rental Durango, *cough* @carries2018 *cough* just skip on past this one. 

I'm not especially talented at parking in general. My car is in the shop right now for a f*cked up bumper resulting from pulling up too far in parking spots and running over the cement thing. As well as multiple instances of misjudging turns and turning too soon/running over a median. Don't judge me. 

Anyway, I have this huge ass truck right now. Which I love, don't get me wrong, but it's a lot different than my little Sonata. I'm struggling with parking it, I pray for angled parking lots. Today I pulled up to a CVS, and completely panicked when I saw that there were no spots that were possible for my skills- AND I WAS AT A DEAD END. Well, not quite a dead end but if I kept going straight it would be into the one-way pharmacy lane (going the wrong way.) Because I make smart decision, I decided to just go with it. I got a ways down the pharmacy lane when I realized that the line of cars waiting for their rxes was not something I could go around. So, in front of all those cars, I had to back my huge ass truck all the way back to the parking lot and my previous situation. I finally managed to position myself to drive into a spot when an oooollllld lady with a cane walked out of the store and started loading bags sloooooowwwwly into the drivers side of the car next to the spot I intended to park in. So here I am, blocking the entire parking lot row, looking like an ass waiting for this lady to finish. Not my finest hour.

sjohns908

@Mommaswizz omg you just reminded me of a horrifying experience with my first period

So I woke up the morning that my family was going on a 13 hour drive to my parents home town. I had started my period, said something to my mom and all she gave me was some panty liners. Like the super thin carefree ones. We're driving and we get detoured off the interstate and it takes us an extra hour than normal to get there. We get to the hotel, late at night and unbeknownst to me, I had been walking around and sitting in blood stained shorts. Neither my parents nor my brother had bothered to mention it to me. And I was only 11, so there's that

carries2018

I really want @bluejeanbabi05 to buy a Durango. And then I want her to set it up with a GoPro. 

dajocl

She would be an instant YouTube hit! 

winterecho

My horrible moment was the first time I had queefed during sex. I was with my first bf and up until that point I had only heard about the mysterious queef but never experienced it. After some pretty quick action, I move away to lay down in the bed and suddenly all this air comes out sounding like those pre diarrhea farts. I was so mortified! And I'm here trying to shift my body to make it stop but it only gets worse and even more air from who knows where is escaping. It didn't help that the guy was super immature and was laughing at me the whole time, and I seriously wanted to disappear into the ground and never see him again (tough luck, we went to the same high school).

kkerner87

Lol these are all hilarious! I'm sure there are some I'm blocking out, but the one that comes to mind is when i was pregnant with DD. I got up around 3am to go pee. Went back to bed and a gush of clear fluid comes out. I was only 21 weeks and was freaking out that my water broke. I called DH (who was on a business trip) in tears saying he has to come home like right now. He gets all upset. Leaves his hotel room and texts his boss hos wife is having a medical emergency. I call my mom up crying for her to take me to L&D. They check me in, do all kinds of tests and turns out, i just peed the bed. I had never been so relieved and embarrased. Of course DH's coworkers were concerned and he just told them "eh false alarm..." Ugh it was humiliating lol

mrs_fogue

@KSweet I think at one point we need to hear all of your birth stories please! 

jasmuin

During my first labor I was at the hospital and hooked up to some kind of iv pain meds. They made me so so loopy. I realized I had to pee and so we buzzed for a nurse. She came in and showed my hubby how to unhook all of the monitors so I could go whenever I needed without her help. Well she took too long and with the combo of crazy drugs I just stood on the floor and peed all over while laughing harder than I've ever laughed in my life. my mom and hubby and the nurse just stood there shocked. I remember thinking it was so funny.  My poor mom started cleaning it up and they called the cleaning lady (I can't think of a better word for her... prego brain) up to clean the floor. Once the drugs wore off after labor I was really embarrassed. 

jasmuin

My other one... my sister in law and mother and father in law were at our house visiting. My sister in laws new boyfriend came over so we could meet him. I was up helping my kiddos with something and when I went back out to the front room I spanked who I thought was my hubby on the butt as I walked by... only to realize hubby was standing over by his mama.  Everyone saw what had happened and laughed uncontrollably.  Turns out I had spanked my sister in laws boyfriend. My face went so so red. She ended up marrying him and they remind me frequently about the "welcome to the family"