So, I go to an "all women" group of doctors which I specifically chose because they are all women. I know it's not a big deal for everyone, but I really prefer a woman doctor. Today, the OB I saw told me that there is a male doctor who is covering on Wednesdays now because one OB "is not going to be in for a while". I feel really angry that I chose them based on the fact that they advertise themselves as all women and now I'm possibly going to have a man deliver my baby.
I get your frustration. I also go to an all female practice and definitely prefer a female OBGYN. Keep in mind though, even if they didn't add the male, you could've gone into labor and not had one of your practices OB's make it there in time and had a hospital Dr. deliver you, who could very well be male. I imagine in the moment, it wont bother you.
@chocolatelemons: I'd be annoyed too. Especially since that's why you chose that practice. Are you able to schedule your remaining appts on non-Wednesdays? @nda_roxybabe is right: maybe in the moment (aka delivery room) it won't be quite as huge a deal as it is now.
@chocolatelemons - I'm sorry they threw a curve ball at you! That would be frustrating!
With DS, I delivered with an all female group and was pretty happy with my delivery but there were things about the practice I didn't like so when I got pregnant with DD, I tried another all-women group but had a bad experience right off the bat so started looking for a different provider. I wanted a good sized group of providers to ensure that any one of them would be at the hospital when I delivered and I was recommended a practice of 4 females and 1 male doctor. I wasn't thrilled about the possibility of a male doctor delivering but after meeting him I honestly liked him as much as any of the female doctors and I quickly got over my shyness of having a male doctor looking at my lady parts (maybe the fact that I had already given birth once helped too).
This time around I actually scheduled my last appointment with that male doctor on purpose so that we would schedule an induction based on when he's at the hospital because I would love for him to be the one to deliver. I was a bit disappointed when he told me that he won't be at the hospital over the weekend so if I go earlier than Monday someone else will deliver our baby.
Just sharing this with you in hopes that you have a similar experience and when you meet the new doctor you are a little smitten over how good/caring he is so that you don't have to worry about the possibility of him being the one to deliver! Sorry you have to deal with that now, especially so late in pregnancy!
Me: 38 DH: 36 Married 8/27/2011 BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012 BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014 BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017 BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
When I was being induced with DD, they had a "young" (i.e. intern, fellow, baby doctor?? I can't remember) female doctor check my cervix and perform a quick US to make sure she was still head down. A few hours later, a male doctor of the same level (again, what is the term??) came in to our room. He was very attractive and I was so worried he was going to want to take a gander at my lady bits. I wasn't "in labor" so I wasn't at that place yet where anyone looking was ok. Had he waltzed in at go time, I would have been fine with it. Anyway, turns out he only came in because he was having a slow day and the nurses had told him that my DH and I were watching The League.
When I was being induced with DD, they had a "young" (i.e. intern, fellow, baby doctor?? I can't remember) female doctor check my cervix and perform a quick US to make sure she was still head down. A few hours later, a male doctor of the same level (again, what is the term??) came in to our room. He was very attractive and I was so worried he was going to want to take a gander at my lady bits. I wasn't "in labor" so I wasn't at that place yet where anyone looking was ok. Had he waltzed in at go time, I would have been fine with it. Anyway, turns out he only came in because he was having a slow day and the nurses had told him that my DH and I were watching The League.
I believe the term you're looking for is "resident". Interns are also residents but they are in their first year out of medical school. Fellows are people who have completed residency but are further specializing. For instance maternal fetal medicine or reproductive endocrinology are further specializations of OBGYN so a fellow would be someone with full training in OB who wants to do RE or MFM. As a side note, All are supervised and lots of data out there shows that teaching hospitals are very safe and there are tons of extra eyes on you at all times there. Also off topic but FWIW we are having our babies at the end of the residency "year" which goes from july1 to June 30 so even an intern would be much more experienced than one will be in a few months.
And I can't remember who was talking about the all women practice (@chocolatelemons maybe?) that is frustrating. Maybe the person who has to be out had their own baby and is on Mat. Leave, had a death in the family, or worse maybe they are having a professional issue and you would rather them take a break anyway because you don't want them working on you impaired. It doesn't negate your frustration but maybe helps you feel a little more at ease that no one is pulling one over or anything by bringing in a man but they needed coverage for those days of the week. Sorry it has worked out that way and hopefully you can get your provider of choice when it's time.
I just got back from an ultrasound to check on my low-lying placenta. It finally moved up, woohoo! (Which is great because I was getting conflicting information from the high-risk doctors and my regular OB--and I sort of lost some faith in my regular OB, especially his people skills--but it seems to be a moot point now.)
But of course, if it's not one thing it's another. I'm now measuring high on amniotic fluid (polyhydramnios) at 29 cm (normal range is 5-25 cm). I go back next week to see if it was just a fluke measurement or if it's a persistent issue. If it persists, it most likely means nothing (except that my placenta is doing a good/productive job, apparently?), but in rare scenarios it could be due to an infection, genetic abnormality, or birth defect related to swallowing, kidneys, etc. But nothing out of the ordinary has come up in our ultrasounds and our NT scan came back very low risk, so I'm trying to stay optimistic. The extra fluid does carry some risks before and during labor (and maybe after too?) so I have to keep good track of movements and they may want to induce me at 39 weeks so my water breaks in a controlled setting--unless of course I go into even earlier labor, which apparently is another risk. Fingers crossed that next week's scan is normal, but if not, we have a plan and I'm hoping it will all be fine!
@rkstro2 Just out of pure curiosity, what do you call a MFM doctor who has completed their fellowship? Just MFM? My MFM is in his last year of his fellowship so I was just curious!
@chocolatelemons So sorry that they threw this curveball at you! Hopefully you'll go into labor on one of the days it's a female doctor and you won't have to worry about it. But I can assure you as someone who was super paranoid about all the people in the delivery room before I had DD1, when it was go time I could care less! You are just ready to meet and hold that baby!
UO Wednesday? I'd rather see a male doctor than a female!
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
@chocolatelemons sorry to be thrown a curve ball like that. Prior to my pregnancy with DS I had never had a male doctor and I didn't like the idea. However, when I got pregnant I ended up choosing a practice where 2 out of 3 doctors were male because they delivered at the hospital I wanted and they had SUCH good reviews (yep, I picked my doctors based on Yelp). I LOVED the practice and the doctor I primarily saw who was male. He ended up being on call when I delivered and he was awesome. It was a little awkward having a guy poking around down there during regular exams but in the moment of labor I DGAF who was down there as long as they knew what they were doing. I definitely get your frustration and I know its different because you specifically chose a practice that was all-female to avoid that, but it sounds like odds are good you'll have one of the female doctors and my guess is when you're in labor you're not going to care who it is either way. Just my $0.02 - you definitely have a right to be annoyed and frustrated by that.
@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot that is really funny. DH and I were watching Super Troopers when I was in labor with DS and my doctor (who was a super nerdy middle-aged guy) came in right at the point where one of the characters is naked and covered in powdered sugar getting hosed off. I'm pretty sure the doc judged us just a bit.
@L1C4gal oh man. I'm glad your placenta has moved up but I'm sorry about the excess fluid! FX it was just a fluke!
@L1C4gal so glad the placenta moved but ugh that you've got polyhydramnios now. Sorry you can't catch a break!
@hp_momma one is an "attending" physician after completion of either residency (if that was the end game) or fellowship. But generally people just go by their specialty if they are specialists and the attending moniker is used more frequently in academic/teaching practice. So I would refer to a neonatologist (acheived via fellowship after pediatrics residency) as just a neonatologist or an MFM as just MFM as you suggested. Another name for MFM is perinatologist. I work in private practice and there are no residents so every physician is an attending physician.
@nda_roxybabe I was so confused for a minute. Totally thinking of different roids and was like why is she seeing a orthopedist for roids??? And how are they on her wrists???? Oooo yeah....steroids...
FFWC: if I complained about my male OB being replaced by a female people would lose their shit. I absolutely can not comprehend how the sex of the doctor matters at all.
@nda_roxybabe I was so confused for a minute. Totally thinking of different roids and was like why is she seeing a orthopedist for roids??? And how are they on her wrists???? Oooo yeah....steroids...
I thought different roids too at first...like ok @nda_roxybabe you need to see a general surgeon for those hemorrhoids! I don't think an orthopod has seen a non-recreational butt area like maybe ever...haha. Glad your steroids were injected in your wrists and hoping it helps.
Thanks @rkstro2 and @RainyDays86! Things have gone smoothly up until these things at the end, so I'm definitely thankful. I also think they're being overly cautious, which I appreciate as a FTM who doesn't have a clue and is already prone to anxiety
@L1C4gal: I'm sorry to hear about this change in your status. It's not easy to hear this type of news, when there's really no solid info, where you have to wait and see, etc. But it sounds like you'll stay on top of the movements, they'll monitor you more closely (maybe also have more frequent office visits?), and induce if needed. That sounds like a good plan. Here's hoping for no issues moving forward!
FFWC: if I complained about my male OB being replaced by a female people would lose their shit. I absolutely can not comprehend how the sex of the doctor matters at all.
Totally branching off of this... and not to be snarky at all but a serious question, do those of you who prefer a female doctor prefer that your husband ONLY sees a male doctor for his prostate exams? I mean my husband has to see a female doctor for his exams AND works with her on a daily basis and is technically in charge of her. I don't see what could be much more awkward than that...
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
FFWC: if I complained about my male OB being replaced by a female people would lose their shit. I absolutely can not comprehend how the sex of the doctor matters at all.
Totally branching off of this... and not to be snarky at all but a serious question, do those of you who prefer a female doctor prefer that your husband ONLY sees a male doctor for his prostate exams? I mean my husband has to see a female doctor for his exams AND works with her on a daily basis and is technically in charge of her. I don't see what could be much more awkward than that...
I'll just give my two cents on this topic. I have absolutely no preference on my H's doctors. I do prefer female doctors for myself when it comes to gynocological issues. That's something I let go of for this pregnancy/birth, because I do recognize that the care I receive has nothing to do with the doctor's gender, and I honestly don't care who delivers my baby. My OBGYN office has a pretty even split of male and female doctors, and I have no clue which of the 10 or so I'll get. However, I'll likely go back to seeing only a female gyno for my routine checks. I feel uncomfortable being in that state of undress in front of anyone, but it's a lot less anxiety inducing with a female doctor.
@hp_momma I fall into the camp of preferring a female ob/gyn. I don't care at all who H sees for his health issues as long as he is comfortable being honest with them. For delivery I don't think I would care who is there as long as they are qualified and know what's up. For exams or if I need to talk about an issue I do better with women. While I fall on the modest side it's more of a social anxiety issue when it comes to male doctors (it's even worse with tall men for some reason) then feeling awkward about them seeing my southern business. Your H is a trooper because that level of awkward would be way too much for me!
@nda_roxybabe Glad you got some shots. Hope they work!! @L1C4gal Sorry about the change! At least it sounds like you have a good team looking out for you and baby. Hang in there!
I guess I fall in the camp of a doctor is a doctor and just doing their job so I am not worried about what they see/think as long as they are professional. But you definitely have to be comfortable with YOUR doctor no matter what, so no judgement either way!
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
I don't care if my H (or anyone else for that matter) sees a male or female Dr. I prefer a female gyno, just as I typically prefer a female masseuse (though I've used male as well) because of my personal comfort level. I noticed recently at the Chiropractor that I kind of tense up when being touched by a stranger so I think when it comes to my nakedness I just prefer they be female.
If a male needs to see me for OB or to deliver the baby though, I do not care.
I have a male OB and at first I was a little worried as I've only had females for my gyno stuff but I really like having a male or maybe it's just him. He's very easy going and doesn't make me worry about small stuff. He tells me how it is and answers any questions as matter of fact which I love. As far as doctors for spouses goes, my DH is one And we both don't care who each other sees as long as they getting the care they need from the right person. It is more based upon how good the doctor is vs sex. DH has also worked with my OB and is confident in his abilities so I'm happy and ok with having a male. Also DH works with lots of women specifically breast cancer patients and he is very different at work than he is at home. So to my OB I'm another patient and he's seen it all numerous times and as someone already said, as long as your clean they have seen a lot worse.
FFWC: if I complained about my male OB being replaced by a female people would lose their shit. I absolutely can not comprehend how the sex of the doctor matters at all.
I feel more awkward with a female doctor to be perfectly honest, I prefer males and would be upset if my male doctor were replaced by a female.
Me - 22 | DH - 32 | Married - 24 May 2014 DS - January 2014
TTC#2 - December 2015
BFP - 6 March 2016 | MC Confirmed - 21 March 2016 TTCAL | April 2016 CP | June 2016 CP | July 2016
re: male vs female - the only difference I have heard from other mothers is that males tend to instruct vigorous pushing/ females tend to instruct gentler pushing.
W/my 1st the nurse is the one who was there while pushing and instructing & dr. just came in the last few minutes (male) and did not have me overdo it.
I have chosen male doctors both times now because they're views on pregnancy/labor line up with mine.
I dont even remember how many people kept checking during labor and if they were male/female.... mind was on other things! and they see so many everyday I don't personally have a problem with gender of nurse/dr.
Had 38 week appointment yesterday and dr said everything looks good on tests and heart rate. He was ok with not doing internal check for progress but when i told the nurse before he came in that i didn't want one she was shocked. Internal checks are unnecessary and don't give an accurate prediction until labor is underway! dr. said we wouldn't talk induction until 40 weeks and I said if course lets keep an eye on baby but "NOBODY stays pregnant forever"
hopefully little mister decides this next week is a good week to come! I'm over all the aches and pains!
I have a male OB and at first I was a little worried as I've only had females for my gyno stuff but I really like having a male or maybe it's just him. He's very easy going and doesn't make me worry about small stuff. He tells me how it is and answers any questions as matter of fact which I love. As far as doctors for spouses goes, my DH is one And we both don't care who each other sees as long as they getting the care they need from the right person. It is more based upon how good the doctor is vs sex. DH has also worked with my OB and is confident in his abilities so I'm happy and ok with having a male. Also DH works with lots of women specifically breast cancer patients and he is very different at work than he is at home. So to my OB I'm another patient and he's seen it all numerous times and as someone already said, as long as your clean they have seen a lot worse.
This is mostly me. My husband works with and respects my doc and that is the most important thing to me. I hear enough of his work stories at home that I know vaginas aren't special, especially not mine, and work is work. As long as you don't have BV that is so bad it makes a room unusuable after you leave its all good!
@l1c4gal - sorry to hear about the extra complications! Hopefully everything goes smoothly from here on out!
@chocolatelemons - that sounds super frustrating! There's nothing worse than your carefully laid out plans being blown up, and leaving you with no control.
@RainyDays86 - if the doctor didn't find that scene hilarious, then I'd judge him!!!
As far as the male/female conversations, I personally don't care one way or the other. My OBGYN is a male, but he's also straight to the point and occasionally lets a really dry sense of humor sneak out, which I appreciate (expect when he tells me that it's great that I had a really strong contraction during my NST, but that I need about 50 more before he gets interested). I think bedside manner goes a lot further for me than gender.
I also really don't care who DH sees for exams/massages/etc. In fact, any doctor who wants to touch him is welcome to if they can find a cure for the dreaded man cold!!
I had an US this morning to check my fluid levels, and everything looks normal (phew). Baby is still measuring on track, and the doctor said she's "head down and engaged". I didn't ask, but I assume that means she has dropped down into my pelvis? If so, I definitely had a feeling that was the case with all the pressure I've been feeling. I need to get my hospital bag completed!
I'm fine with either sex for my OB. I switch every week between my male OB and female NP. I like and am comfortable with both.
I had my 37 week appointment today and am 1cm dilated with a soft cervix and baby is low. I know it could stay like this for a long time, but after being high and tight last week, it's exciting!
May Siggy Challenge: Labor Memes
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10 DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI) BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
@nda_roxybabe@SKZW After sleeping on it, I feel a lot better and it is true that there's a chance I could end up with a male doc regardless since I have no idea how fast my labor will be. I'm sure when the time comes , I'm not going to give an f whose poking down there.
@vrj0522 Thanks for sharing. It definitely helps to hear positive stories.
@WombThereItIs Like I said, I know it doesn't matter to everyone but some people, including myself, are more comfortable with women doctors. I understand that not everyone feels this way but I do take issue with a practice who hired a male that specifically advertises themselves as "all female practitioners".
Sorry if I didn't tag everyone who responded. I'm feeling better and I appreciate the comments.
I don't care if my OB is male or female (so long as it isn't a hot male resident. ). I do, however, prefer female janitors to male. As a pregnant lady, I appreciate that the female janitors don't shut down the woman's restroom for cleaning.
I have only seen females for all my appointments for my first and current. I do prefer a female because I find it easier to be more open which I think is important. But I know I don't care who delivers my baby as long they know what they're doing.
I just had my 37wk checkup today. Complained about pain in the pubic area increasing lately. The midwife checked by feel and she was like ooh the baby is very very low. No surprise there I guess, although it's making me a little bit panicky that he will come before my mom gets here on the 3rd since we don't have a plan B on who will watch DD, aka I would end up going alone. Not the end of the world but still...
Welp I'm feeling a little sad following my 37 week appt this am. Of course I'm happy all of mine and baby's stats were good but I brought in my written birth plan and I've been on the verge of tears since my Dr. went through it with me. Most disappointing was that she won't let me go more than 41 weeks and I know I ovulated late so I was really hoping to be allowed to go to 42 on my own if needed! She also won't budge on the constant monitoring which was so incredibly uncomfortable to have those two belts strapped on the entire time with DD1 esp since I went med free. Another thing is she said I could possibly have to have a catheter again ugh! And then the last one is not her deal but she said the hospital doesn't allow photos/video of the birth until after the baby is assessed which is pretty sad because we have one of DD1 being born. I know anything can happen in the moment but I didn't feel like my requests were so unreasonable that they'd have to be denied before labor even started!
@erinh2005 That stinks. Are you with a new OB? Any reason why all of those things were a hard no?
For me with the male vs female doctor, it isn't about sex for me, its about bedside manner. There is one male OB at my office that I hate because he is a twat. The other male OB and the female OB are cool with me. Funny story, my husband's PCP is a female, and I was actually with him in the office when he had his physical so I watched her check his testicles, which was an interesting experience lol
@erinh2005: That is so frustrating, especially when your points were not outlandish or unheard of! I hear you on the going to 42 weeks. I personally feel, too, all the emotions about "what's best for baby vs if he's still in there then he's not ready to make his debut." That's a tough one to swallow, and I'm really sorry you had to hear it from her today. Maybe it'll be a total non-issue though, depending on when baby comes!
Re the photos: even if that's the policy (to not take pics), who do you have in mind to take them? Would it be your SO, and does that change how you'd be supported at that moment? Or is it a third party... in which case, would they be comfy taking the pics, knowing they could be yelled at, confiscated, removed from the room for taking pics?
Re the constant monitoring: maybe that's something you could bring up with your nurse when you're in labor. Say you have 2 hours of no problems, then maybe you could ask for a break (say, to walk around unencumbered) and see if maybe the nurses would be more amenable to your request?
Hang in there, mama. It'll all sort itself out soon! <hugs>
@erinh2005 that is very frustrating and seems like you didn't get much of an explanation from them! That kind of stuff just makes me want to rebel against the doctor. I've been thinking about bringing some of this stuff up with my doctor but so far every nurses we've talked to says completely different things on the important to us policies that I've determined I'll just fight for what I want in the moment.
Thanks for listening guys! Even that helps some. @Jens_Hoes Yeah it's a different Dr/hospital than with my last pregnancy but I've been with her the full pg and have had no health issues or concerns so I don't know why she wouldn't budge! @SKZW Yes! Hopefully this LO doesn't hang around to find out what happens at 41w lol. But as far as the pics/video it's just DH on his cellphone which is what he did last time and its a nice video to have for her to see if she wants some someday and I feel bad this LO won't have the same opportunity. And as far as it changing how I'm supported at that time all I cared about at that point last time was for him to be quiet and have the alert volume off on his phone lol. And I was really hoping for that monitoring one darn it! So hopefully they can give me a break if I ask! @absbubbs I know! Now I'm expecting to take my Dr. annotated document in and have whoever the labor nurse is crush the other half of my dreams! But I'll just have to advocate as much as possible when the time comes!
Re: Appointments week of 4/23
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
With DS, I delivered with an all female group and was pretty happy with my delivery but there were things about the practice I didn't like so when I got pregnant with DD, I tried another all-women group but had a bad experience right off the bat so started looking for a different provider. I wanted a good sized group of providers to ensure that any one of them would be at the hospital when I delivered and I was recommended a practice of 4 females and 1 male doctor. I wasn't thrilled about the possibility of a male doctor delivering but after meeting him I honestly liked him as much as any of the female doctors and I quickly got over my shyness of having a male doctor looking at my lady parts (maybe the fact that I had already given birth once helped too).
This time around I actually scheduled my last appointment with that male doctor on purpose so that we would schedule an induction based on when he's at the hospital because I would love for him to be the one to deliver. I was a bit disappointed when he told me that he won't be at the hospital over the weekend so if I go earlier than Monday someone else will deliver our baby.
Just sharing this with you in hopes that you have a similar experience and when you meet the new doctor you are a little smitten over how good/caring he is so that you don't have to worry about the possibility of him being the one to deliver! Sorry you have to deal with that now, especially so late in pregnancy!
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
off topic but FWIW we are having our babies at the end of the residency "year" which goes from july1 to June 30 so even an intern would be much more experienced than one will be in a few months.
And I can't remember who was talking about the all women practice (@chocolatelemons maybe?) that is frustrating. Maybe the person who has to be out had their own baby and is on Mat. Leave, had a death in the family, or worse maybe they are having a professional issue and you would rather them take a break anyway because you don't want them working on you impaired. It doesn't negate your frustration but maybe helps you feel a little more at ease that no one is pulling one over or anything by bringing in a man but they needed coverage for those days of the week. Sorry it has worked out that way and hopefully you can get your provider of choice when it's time.
@chocolatelemons I hope you end up liking the male provider. Sorry this is all happening at the last minute!
@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot Hahaha that story made me chuckle!
I just got back from an ultrasound to check on my low-lying placenta. It finally moved up, woohoo! (Which is great because I was getting conflicting information from the high-risk doctors and my regular OB--and I sort of lost some faith in my regular OB, especially his people skills--but it seems to be a moot point now.)
But of course, if it's not one thing it's another. I'm now measuring high on amniotic fluid (polyhydramnios) at 29 cm (normal range is 5-25 cm). I go back next week to see if it was just a fluke measurement or if it's a persistent issue. If it persists, it most likely means nothing (except that my placenta is doing a good/productive job, apparently?), but in rare scenarios it could be due to an infection, genetic abnormality, or birth defect related to swallowing, kidneys, etc. But nothing out of the ordinary has come up in our ultrasounds and our NT scan came back very low risk, so I'm trying to stay optimistic. The extra fluid does carry some risks before and during labor (and maybe after too?) so I have to keep good track of movements and they may want to induce me at 39 weeks so my water breaks in a controlled setting--unless of course I go into even earlier labor, which apparently is another risk. Fingers crossed that next week's scan is normal, but if not, we have a plan and I'm hoping it will all be fine!
@chocolatelemons So sorry that they threw this curveball at you! Hopefully you'll go into labor on one of the days it's a female doctor and you won't have to worry about it. But I can assure you as someone who was super paranoid about all the people in the delivery room before I had DD1, when it was go time I could care less! You are just ready to meet and hold that baby!
UO Wednesday? I'd rather see a male doctor than a female!
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
@chocolatelemons sorry to be thrown a curve ball like that. Prior to my pregnancy with DS I had never had a male doctor and I didn't like the idea. However, when I got pregnant I ended up choosing a practice where 2 out of 3 doctors were male because they delivered at the hospital I wanted and they had SUCH good reviews (yep, I picked my doctors based on Yelp). I LOVED the practice and the doctor I primarily saw who was male. He ended up being on call when I delivered and he was awesome. It was a little awkward having a guy poking around down there during regular exams but in the moment of labor I DGAF who was down there as long as they knew what they were doing. I definitely get your frustration and I know its different because you specifically chose a practice that was all-female to avoid that, but it sounds like odds are good you'll have one of the female doctors and my guess is when you're in labor you're not going to care who it is either way. Just my $0.02 - you definitely have a right to be annoyed and frustrated by that.
@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot that is really funny. DH and I were watching Super Troopers when I was in labor with DS and my doctor (who was a super nerdy middle-aged guy) came in right at the point where one of the characters is naked and covered in powdered sugar getting hosed off. I'm pretty sure the doc judged us just a bit.
@L1C4gal oh man. I'm glad your placenta has moved up but I'm sorry about the excess fluid! FX it was just a fluke!
@hp_momma one is an "attending" physician after completion of either residency (if that was the end game) or fellowship. But generally people just go by their specialty if they are specialists and the attending moniker is used more frequently in academic/teaching practice. So I would refer to a neonatologist (acheived via fellowship after pediatrics residency) as just a neonatologist or an MFM as just MFM as you suggested. Another name for MFM is perinatologist. I work in private practice and there are no residents so every physician is an attending physician.
May '17 labor memes
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
I'll just give my two cents on this topic. I have absolutely no preference on my H's doctors. I do prefer female doctors for myself when it comes to gynocological issues. That's something I let go of for this pregnancy/birth, because I do recognize that the care I receive has nothing to do with the doctor's gender, and I honestly don't care who delivers my baby. My OBGYN office has a pretty even split of male and female doctors, and I have no clue which of the 10 or so I'll get. However, I'll likely go back to seeing only a female gyno for my routine checks. I feel uncomfortable being in that state of undress in front of anyone, but it's a lot less anxiety inducing with a female doctor.
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
@L1C4gal Sorry about the change! At least it sounds like you have a good team looking out for you and baby. Hang in there!
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
DS - January 2014
TTCAL | April 2016
CP | June 2016
CP | July 2016
W/my 1st the nurse is the one who was there while pushing and instructing & dr. just came in the last few minutes (male) and did not have me overdo it.
I have chosen male doctors both times now because they're views on pregnancy/labor line up with mine.
I dont even remember how many people kept checking during labor and if they were male/female.... mind was on other things! and they see so many everyday I don't personally have a problem with gender of nurse/dr.
Had 38 week appointment yesterday and dr said everything looks good on tests and heart rate. He was ok with not doing internal check for progress but when i told the nurse before he came in that i didn't want one she was shocked.
Internal checks are unnecessary and don't give an accurate prediction until labor is underway!
dr. said we wouldn't talk induction until 40 weeks and I said if course lets keep an eye on baby but
"NOBODY stays pregnant forever"
hopefully little mister decides this next week is a good week to come! I'm over all the aches and pains!
May '17 labor memes
@chocolatelemons - that sounds super frustrating! There's nothing worse than your carefully laid out plans being blown up, and leaving you with no control.
@RainyDays86 - if the doctor didn't find that scene hilarious, then I'd judge him!!!
As far as the male/female conversations, I personally don't care one way or the other. My OBGYN is a male, but he's also straight to the point and occasionally lets a really dry sense of humor sneak out, which I appreciate (expect when he tells me that it's great that I had a really strong contraction during my NST, but that I need about 50 more before he gets interested). I think bedside manner goes a lot further for me than gender.
I also really don't care who DH sees for exams/massages/etc. In fact, any doctor who wants to touch him is welcome to if they can find a cure for the dreaded man cold!!
Married:09/14/13
Baby 2 - Due: 5/4/17
I had my 37 week appointment today and am 1cm dilated with a soft cervix and baby is low. I know it could stay like this for a long time, but after being high and tight last week, it's exciting!
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10
DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI)
BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
...which turns birth into one interesting slingshot...
@vrj0522 Thanks for sharing. It definitely helps to hear positive stories.
@WombThereItIs Like I said, I know it doesn't matter to everyone but some people, including myself, are more comfortable with women doctors. I understand that not everyone feels this way but I do take issue with a practice who hired a male that specifically advertises themselves as "all female practitioners".
Sorry if I didn't tag everyone who responded. I'm feeling better and I appreciate the comments.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
I just had my 37wk checkup today. Complained about pain in the pubic area increasing lately. The midwife checked by feel and she was like ooh the baby is very very low. No surprise there I guess, although it's making me a little bit panicky that he will come before my mom gets here on the 3rd since we don't have a plan B on who will watch DD, aka I would end up going alone. Not the end of the world but still...
For me with the male vs female doctor, it isn't about sex for me, its about bedside manner. There is one male OB at my office that I hate because he is a twat. The other male OB and the female OB are cool with me. Funny story, my husband's PCP is a female, and I was actually with him in the office when he had his physical so I watched her check his testicles, which was an interesting experience lol
Re the photos: even if that's the policy (to not take pics), who do you have in mind to take them? Would it be your SO, and does that change how you'd be supported at that moment? Or is it a third party... in which case, would they be comfy taking the pics, knowing they could be yelled at, confiscated, removed from the room for taking pics?
Re the constant monitoring: maybe that's something you could bring up with your nurse when you're in labor. Say you have 2 hours of no problems, then maybe you could ask for a break (say, to walk around unencumbered) and see if maybe the nurses would be more amenable to your request?
Hang in there, mama. It'll all sort itself out soon! <hugs>
@Jens_Hoes Yeah it's a different Dr/hospital than with my last pregnancy but I've been with her the full pg and have had no health issues or concerns so I don't know why she wouldn't budge!
@SKZW Yes! Hopefully this LO doesn't hang around to find out what happens at 41w lol. But as far as the pics/video it's just DH on his cellphone which is what he did last time and its a nice video to have for her to see if she wants some someday and I feel bad this LO won't have the same opportunity. And as far as it changing how I'm supported at that time all I cared about at that point last time was for him to be quiet and have the alert volume off on his phone lol. And I was really hoping for that monitoring one darn it! So hopefully they can give me a break if I ask!
@absbubbs I know! Now I'm expecting to take my Dr. annotated document in and have whoever the labor nurse is crush the other half of my dreams! But I'll just have to advocate as much as possible when the time comes!