May 2017 Moms
kns1988
member
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SO rants & raves
kns1988
member
Mobile issues might make HDBD a bust today, and I need a distraction. Anyone have any SO rants and raves?
Me: 29, DH: 31
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Re: SO rants & raves
My raves always seem to be about cleaning. Has anyone ever read the 5 love languages? I'm acts of service, all the way.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
We love 5 love languages! It helps a lot and if you sign up on their website they send (maybe 1-2) emails to you every couple months with suggestions, win trips, etc. I am physical touch, he is words of affirmation!!
Three day hunting trip this week? Thanks, dear, I totally want to wrangle a confused and upset toddler while my pelvis threatens to explode. Oh, and you have to go out of town Fri-Sunday too? I get it that we need a house but you have done ZERO planning for this and left it all on me to find houses and make you a schedule of tours while I am working. Dude.
He is acting like his world is about to end so he has to get all this fun in before d-day and I get nothing except all the workload of a newborn.
May '17 labor memes
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
I found a tick on my neck this morning and freaked out, and woke my husband up to get it off. I then immediately stripped down and made him check me over head to toe, including *TMI* my vagina and everything down there because I cannot see it myself lol
I was very appreciative.
DH thinks he needs to get in another round of golf before this baby arrives. Oh when would you like to do that dear? The one weekend your home from your out of town training after I've been wrangling two kids and extremely pregnant by myself? Or Mothers Day weekend? Yea, not going to happen.
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
I'm super relieved he's not going on a long bachelor party trip this weekend. A few months ago when our friends were planning it and he said he wouldn't go, Past Young Naive Me was like "why? The baby isn't even due until like MANY DAYS after that." 37-Week-Pregnant Current Me would be VERY concerned if he were off in a remote cabin in the woods several states away far away from an airport. Way to develop parental instincts earlier than I did, husband!
Someone help me find the Lucy and Clara thread! Am I just challenged???
ETA: Found it - maybe it was brand new.
ETA: I see it now!
My rave is that my husband secretly got tons of family and friends to send me cards for my 30th birthday and they just came in all at once yesterday (at the end of a particularly tough day). Now I get to open them gradually and see messages from all the people I love! He said he encouraged everyone to share tips/fun stories about parenthood, so they should be lots of fun for both of us to read
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
He has his moments, but he's really been such a great support lately.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
@L1C4gal: that is such a sweet gesture! It'll be awesome to go through the cards and read everyone's well wishes and parental sentiments. Happy B-day!
Roxy: even mama whales deserve all the love and care in the world! I'm so happy to hear he's been supportive and awesome. It's so sweet!
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
@WombThereItIs That sounds pretty miserable. Hopefully he'll turn it around this week and pamper you the last few weeks.
@0408Bear Yay for DH being so awesome during your birth and hospital stay!
@Jens_Hoes So scary about the tick! Glad he strip searched you.
DH has been super awesome through this whole pregnancy. I just dropped my hours a little at work and he was completely supportive. We normally argue over cleaning, and while I still clean I've definitely slowed down, and he hasn't said a word. He's taking me for what I am these days and it makes a huge difference. He offers massages and is just generally very sweet.
@L1C4gal I adore that! Happy birthday!! Getting mail from loved ones always makes a day brighter. My mom did something similar while I was in college and handed out my address to a crap ton of people and ask for them to send a note during finals week. I had more cards than would fit in my dorm mailbox.
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
ETA: mobile bumping + auto correct
The kids have been on break a LOT recently (but different breaks; different schools) and DH ended up having to do more of the work for this given our schedules and the schedules of other people who stepped into help (BIL and MIL). So he has pulled more than one all-nighter to deal with this. We are way too old for that! He has also accommodated my schedule for the few "fun" things I've had without hesitation (fun is in quotes because each thing has been sort of fun and sort of business.) He is always totally on top of house stuff, but has kicked it up even further due to my end-of-pregnancy issues. He'll be thoughtful/mindful enough to give me tasks I can do seated or with super low energy, too, which is good, because I don't want him to be totally screwed and it's good to feel like you're doing SOMETHING. And he won't nag about this, either; I can always refuse or say I'm tired.
DS was having a hard time recently due to his mood disorder and it was hard because we had family around, and parenting is always difficult when you're being watched. Not only was he his usual amazing self but he also helped me when I cried about it one night (I'm usually extremely stoic when it comes to this stuff.) Relatedly, a hurtful thing happened with regard to our parenting and a family member and DH handled it really well and proved his love so strongly. I don't want to talk about it because it will make the family member sound like a horrible person when she's a saint 99% of the time but basically DH defended my honor 6+ mo ago and never even told me about it until something related came up the other night so he told me the earlier story. I never doubt his love for me but this story proved it stronger than pretty much anything could!
First; He is job hopping at the moment, fine, whatever, he took leave from his original job in order to hop around in other industries/businesses, the bills are still being paid, even if I don't know exactly when his pay checks will come in. Whatever.
BUT, he started the job he is at now last Monday, he worked 3 days, leaving at 5am getting home at 9:30pm, he wasn't paid for travel so there was 6hrs a day he wasn't paid for, despite being legally entitled to 4hrs/day of that travel. He won't fight for this. He is leaving this job at the end of this week. He starts another one on May 1st. The week between he was just going to take off, come with me to some Doctors appointments, spend some quality time with DS and I before LO arrives in the next few weeks. Now he has been offered a weeks contract landscaping. Again, fine, if thats what he wants. BUT he has now told me, despite my nagging that he ask and make sure the job he starts on the 1st know that he WILL be taking 2 weeks off when LO arrives. that never happened and he "might" get the rest of the week off, depending on what day he arrives -.- great.
Second; I can't count how many times I have asked him not to leave bowls of milk in the sink after he eats cereal, and still I have to deal with what essentially turns into yoghurt by the time I get to packing the dishwasher. Also how hard is it to just put things in the bloody dishwasher!?!?
I also cannot count how many times I've asked for a load of washing to be put on, or moved to the dryer, because quite frankly bending down to the front loader hurts... 3hrs later, I load the washing -.-
Third; How hard is it that when I ask him to take DS to bed they go into bed and play rather than lay quietly. Then I will finally come in (after doing the afore mentioned washing, feeding the dogs, showering etc) and have to deal with a toddler who just wants to play, while H rolls over and goes to sleep. WHY?!?!
/sigh that got long. I swear I married him for a reason, I just can't for the life of me remember what that reason was at the moment...
DS - January 2014
TTCAL | April 2016
CP | June 2016
CP | July 2016
I think you've mentioned the DH's job hopping before, and I remember thinking to myself, "changing jobs so close to a May due date? I couldn't handle all that change at once!" and I still think you're awesome for going along with him as he attempts to follow his bliss/try out new jobs at what might not be the best time!
Hopefully he can nail down the work schedule soon. That'll help your peace of mind. And I PROMISE you'll remember all those reasons you married this man & grew your family together. If this "rants and raves" board proves anything, it's that sometimes our SO's can be suprisingly sweet and sensitive to our needs, just when we need it the most. (And if not, the direct, specific approach usually works!) Hang in there, mama! You're doing great!
I'm going to force myself to be nice, though and also type a rave....he does regularly tell me how gorgeous I look, even though I feel like a beached whale.
Married:09/14/13
Baby 2 - Due: 5/4/17
Even though that does happen, H has been really great recently. He was excited to do the registry completions and put things together. The nursery is now a mess again because of all of the stuff we've gotten, but hopefully we can work on it this weekend. I've had my lovely "episodes" if you will with my hernia/back thing I've talked about and he's been awesome with me. He truly is my rock. I couldn't do anything last night once it started, so he had to take Stella out, feed her, and make dinner. I felt bad, but not much I could do. He kept checking on me and even drew me a bath when I thought that would help (it seemed to relax my muscles a bit, which was nice). Then after he was done with his game and I had taken a shower (I actually don't like baths and feel like I'm sitting in my own dirt from the day) he gave me a back rub.
So, even though there are times where I know he truly is tired (he does drive an hour to work and an hour home like I used to and does manual labor all day in a hot garage, so I can't really blame him for being tired) or gets annoyed when I ask him to do something, he really is a great guy and will do anything for me.
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
Last spring one of our favorite shows (Mystery Science Theater 3000) had a Kickstarter to fund their Netflix reboot. H donated way too much money. This was back when our finances were better and there was no baby in sight. I yelled at him constantly that he was going overboard. Well, one of the Kickstarter prizes was a personal message from the show's creator. I got an email last night with a video. In it, the show's creator addressed me and told me how lucky my H was to have me. How H enjoyed watching the show with me and how incredible our bond was. He said that H truly loved me and here's to 10 more years of our love. I couldn't help but cry. I think I might cry right now just thinking about it.
@Jens_Hoes That is so sweet that DH looked for ticks! I'm glad you were thorough, I grew up in rural Indiana and once had one INSIDE my belly button, and my mom got one downstairs.
I just have raves today. DH has been sticking to touch therapy at least 4 nights a week. Turning lights low, putting on relaxing music (same music every time) and running hands all over the skin gently. They taught it in our childbirth class as a way to train your body to relax when touched to certain music. STM's and TTM's might laugh at the hilarity but as a FTM I'll try it?!
He also decided on his own no drinking from now until labor. He said he doesn't want to be two whiskeys in after work and risk not feeling safe enough to drive me to the hospital. I so appreciate that! He's just been great and very understanding pretty much this whole time!
That said, I think he's in for a rude awakening when the baby comes. Our In-laws are going to watch our dogs for 2 weeks and when he found this out he said "TWO WEEKS?!" and confessed to me he thought they were only taking them for the 2-3 days we were in the hospital. I don't think he realizes how all-consuming a newborn will be. We live in an apartment and they need to be walked 4-5 x a day. Chihuahua is also very intensely needy and climbs all over us constantly (we're working with a trainer but it's not fixed yet). I think in his brain he's like, I'll just take the dogs down honey! He's not thinking about how god-awful tired we'll be and how much he'll be responsible for around the house with me needing to recover, and how it'll be hard to even shower sometimes in the beginning. I think he thinks I've over-prepared by having EVERYTHING over-stocked in the garage (pet food, TP, coffee, paper towels, etc). He'll see the truth real quickly...he's in for it!
@ChristinaWild It'd be so hard for me to bite my tongue! How frustrating.
I have a silly rant. DH got it in his head (by reading my Ina May Gaskin book, oops), that I need to be doing daily squats to get my pelvis/body ready for pushing baby out easier. Okay, fine. But then he proceeds to try training me on how to squat properly. Now, listen, squatting with a giant basketball in your belly is different. My balance is off, my body doesn't move the way it used to, etc. Suffice to say I held my tongue last night, but I'm not having him coach me on squats every night. No sir. I do just fine on my own.
Married:09/14/13
Baby 2 - Due: 5/4/17
Granted I work at a desk all day, but life is exhausting. When I lay down on the couch after a long day of work, and he asks me to get him something or do something I get such an eye roll when I tell him I'm exhausted. I know he is constantly moving at his job, but he isn't creating life! I'm sure he'll tell me Labor "isn't that bad" or some dumb stuff like that
@jens_hoes...I'm right there with ya! H and I's jobs are very different with regard to how demanding, or in what way they are demanding. His is very physical and he's outside, so of course he is exhausted. I sit at a desk most of the day, but it can be very mentally exhausting. Plus I'm growing a tiny human!! Just keep telling your H that and maybe he'll understand
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
Reminds of my husband... I think he forgets that I'm like 35 weeks pregnant. Also, after my DS was born he said.. well that didn't seem "that bad", you kept it together pretty well. Listen man, just because I kept it together doesn't mean it "wasn't that bad"! this time around I may have to hoot and holler a little bit more so he understands the pain I'm in.
@sweaterboots: I totally agree that having a sitter for the dogs for 2 weeks is a prudent decision. You are spot on with your outlook about the potential stresses of those first weeks with a newborn!
And I too might have gone overboard (but have no regrets!) with stocking up on the essentials: tp, paper towels, clorox wipes, dog food, crackers, frozen apps... because if someone nicely offered to go to the store for me, and came home with an item that wasn't my favorite (no dumb store brand Q-tips for this chick, I need the real thing! So I now have like 600 on the shelf!), I'd be kicking myself big time for not having had stocked up sooner. My future self already is in love with current me. I can feel all the hugs from her already!
Sometimes the men really don't get the exhaustion. I sometimes tell him, imagine walking around all day with one of your 10lb weights strapped right to your core and add in some ankle weights too oh and pretend your lungs only work at half capacity.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin