There are some newer recommendations out that baby should sleep in the same room as the parents for at least the first 6 months, but ideally up to a year. This is stressing me out. Our bedroom is not very big , so a crib in our room is a no go, unless we put a dresser of ours in baby's room. I know nothing about bassinets/what kind of thing I would use that's smaller than a crib that might be able to squeeze in the narrow space between the bed and the closet. I usually watch TV to fall asleep-so that would have to go away. I don't want to co-sleep in the same bed. I just can't wrap my head around how this works logistically. Anyone that's done it that can provide some guidance? Anyone want to agree with this article and tell me I don't need to stress so much about it and try it for a couple of months and if it's not working, baby can go to the nursery room right next door? I don't know why it's stressing me out so much....
@SweetMelissa4 My first was in the room with me for 6 months. It was awful. I woke at every sound, she woke multiple times a night the whole time, and I had no "me" space. My second went straight to his room and it worked out better for all of us. This one will be going in his or her own room (likely the master walk in closet, but whatever - there's a door). You have to balance why is safest with what works for you. We have baby sleep on it's back with nothing else in the crib and wearing a Snuza. Our compromise is that it sleeps in its own space and not next to us.
SweetMelissa4 - Do not stress! Things will work out and being able to figure out what will work best for you and baby right now is not possible. I have two DS's and both were very different. DS1 would wake every 3 hours like clockwork to be breastfeed and then go right back to sleep. I kept him in a bassinet right beside my bed. Around 4 months he started sleeping through the night so I moved him to his nursery and brought him into bed with me to nurse if I had to. DS2 was different!!! He wanted to be held while he slept and every time we tried to put him in a bassinet or crib he would wake up and we were back to square one. I ended up having him in my room and co-sleeping a lot! Something I didn't really want to do but it was out of exhaustion and necessity. He didn't sleep through the night until 10 months and was always hard to get back to sleep. Point is - you will get cues on what works from your baby - a bassinet and bassinet stand aren't that big and work for the first few months - so that is an option. Also babies will sleep through t.v. noise so no need to change everything. Don't stress!
@SweetMelissa4 I am not against someone keeping the baby in his/her room. I did not. We were too light of sleepers to compromise our precious little sleep.
DD is healthy, and likes sleeping in her crib. She always slept in her crib at night since she came home except when she wasn't feeling well - I'd often keep her snuggled with me, propped up in the recliner in her room.
My main point is keep the baby sleeping in a safe location (ex: crib, bassinet, pack and play, co-sleeping device, etc.) and do what works for YOUR family!
@zigzag8412 I signed up beginning of 2nd trimester. Classes at my hospital fill quickly. I liked all of the classes, but tend to read and research to alleviate stress about new situations
@SweetMelissa4 We used the RNP in our bedroom for a bit. Our bedroom is long and narrow so there's not a lot of room next to the bed but this fit next to it okay. Anything else would have to be at the foot of the bed, like a pack n play or an actual bassinet. We've been bed sharing since roughly 6 months which works for us and might not work for you. Just do what works for everyone.
@DuchessOfCambridge, mine has a list online, (and may give me a hard copy closer to time) but online, it doesn't recommend a specific time to take them except "after preregistration" which I imagine is end of 2nd, beginning of 3rd tri. When did your hospital recommend you take the classes?
My hospital says (for all classes): "We recommend that you register early in your pregnancy (as space is
limited) for a class that begins about eight weeks before your due date." Hope that helps!
My first baby slept in our room for the first 3-4 nights. It was horrible for me. I had so much adrenaline at night; I hardly slept. After that he went into his room, and our other babies did the same from night one. It felt really far away, but it was the only way I got to sleep.
@zigzag8412@lck101 I actually ended up registering online today for the dates we want this fall. Figured I might as well since everything is open and then we don't have to be stressed later. I'm doing childbirth mid-September, newborn care and breastfeeding early November (we had conflicts with the Aug/Sep/Oct dates). Still need to find a more conveniently located CPR class, for some reason that's the only one not at my hospital but we'll do that September or October, I kind of want it pretty fresh in my mind when baby is born.
About co-sleeping or sharing a room etc.....i am very much of the opinion to have an open mind. One of mine was only ever in his own cot in his own room. The next was in a bassinet beside me for the first month then in his iwn room but any feed after 4am was in bed with me while we slept cause that way i got a bit more sleep.....so he got used to sneaking into my bed when he woke. DD was only ever fed in her room in a special feeding chair and then back to her bed. But at the age of 15 months i found myself living in a women's refuge. She had to share my room and also my bed. She only just got her own bed 6 months ago. And her own room 2 months ago. And needles to say, most nights or early mornings she sneaks back into my bed caise she is afraid or had dreams or is cold or "loves mama" or any other reason she has made up.
I suppose what i am trying to say is that sometimes sleep is more important than rules. Go with the flow. Find what works for your family.
Me:27 (diagnosed anovulatory May 2016) DH:29 (normal) Met 2008 | Dated 2010 | Married 2012 TTC#1 since June 2015 June 2016- 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 12), thin (2.45) lining | BFN July 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 10), thin (~4) lining | BFN August 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | BFN | Referred to specialist, visited once, was told we have less than a 3% chance even on medication, recommended to IUI for up to a 50% chance, decided not to pursue at this time | Stopped "trying" October 2016- We became licensed foster parents November 9, 2016- Arrival of DD#1, 4yo March 1, 2017- 1 day late, feel like crap (low fever & exhausted) | Mom suggested test before taking meds, I laughed but did it anyway | BFP! *shock*
This is maybe a really odd question, but it has to do with having the baby sleep in our room. I want the baby in a bassinet or crib beside our bed for the first several months. Our cat comes in our room at night, and I'm worried he will try to jump in the crib and snuggle with the baby. He is old and set in his ways, so locking him out at night would cause him a ton of stress. Any suggestions?
@liz4382 we are having the sam2w dilemma. My only thought is to try to start getting the csts used to being locked out now. But then I worry about the one time we are tired and forget to shut the door.
some say a good trick is to set up all the baby gear early and just train your cats to stay out of them. Lining with foil is what we did. It mostly worked lol (I never caught them with the baby, but the car seat was sometimes too tempting a nap place to pass up. It also moved around so maybe long term remembering is harder with that.)
We most likely won't have the baby in our room. With DH's job he gets random calls at night and even had to go in during the middle of the night and he always gets up early. The townhouse we'll be in has a small bedroom directly across the hall so that will be the nursery and we'll still be close by. With a monitor and potentially leaving doors open, it shouldn't be a problem. I could see it in larger houses where the Master is on a different floor than the other bedrooms though. That being said, I am planning on getting a PNP and RNP just in case LO sleep better (and therefore I sleep better) in our room.
Echoing what others have said, it's important to be flexible and open to trying different things if things aren't working out as hoped. I never ever thought I would consider cosleeping. We had a bassinet set up next to our bed that our little slept in maybe 5 nights. We even tried the swing a few nights because she was very colicky and the incline seemed to help. But it turns out we all slept better when she slept with me. I barely even had to move to nurse her during the night. It was fantastic. But when she was about 3-4 months old our movements in the night started causing too much of a disturbance for her so we transitioned to the crib at that point. Find what works for you and go with the flow.
@DuchessOfCambridge I'm quite tall, so it might be different for you, but I actually loved my boba (similar to a moby). I stopped using it with DS3 around 6 months. I also have an infantino pouch and i have used it for all 3 kids and have had no issues with it. I am planning on splurging and buying a Tula this time. I think it's great to have both a wrap or ring sling and a structured pouch.
@zigzag8412 I would definitely recommend signing up for classes early. I will tell you that my hospital had you take your birthing class based on your due date and it was great. I met so many other moms due around the same time as me (with DS1-10 years ago) and we are all still friends now. I would also recommend taking infant cpr and first aid, any breastfeeding classes, and an infant care class.
@SweetMelissa4 I agree with others to be willing to be flexible. DS1 only slept in my room for about 6-8 weeks. We both kept waking each other up with every little move, and he was sleeping through the night if I didn't wake him up, so it made more sense for him to be in his own room. DS2 slept in a bassinet in my room till about 4 months. And with DS3 I bought a co-sleeper bassinet that attached to the side of the bed, but because he wanted to nurse basically all night long, I ended up with him cosleeping in bed with me (which is something I swore I would never do) until about 6 months. I think the main thing is to do what works for you and your baby. Every mama and every baby are very different. You'll figure it out though!
@c+mpeachey My first will be 4 when this baby is born and it feels like forever ago! From working in the daycare last year I learned that swaddling is no longer considered good because it causes hip dysplasia if you wrap them too tight which is why most people are using the wearable blanket potato sack looking things.
@SweetMelissa4 Couldn't stand having DD in our room and we moved her when she was about 2 weeks old. She was fine. If you're really concerned about safety, there are baby monitors you can buy that monitor vital signs and stuff like that.
Nov 17 BMB May Siggy Challenge: Mother's Day Fails
I've heard of these mythical babies that sleep better in their own room. My child was and is so far from that. I have loved bed sharing, but we will start out assuming the baby will be best in their own space (crib/pnp/whatever we go with). I've heard enough to know that every baby, within their own families even, can have drastically different preferences.
So basically, exactly what the others said about keeping an open mind.
@ArtificialRed same here. DS would pretty much only sleep if he was touching me. We had some super unusual family circumstances his first few months (death in the family, lots of traveling, living in the ICU waiting room for days on end) so I think we developed some bad habits from the beginning. At 2 he's just starting to like his own sleep space, so I'm going in to this expecting another Velcro baby and will be pleasantly surprised if I get an independent unicorn.
It's a great reminder to hear all of the different experiences. Maybe it's possible that I'll have a baby I can keep close by my bed for a few weeks or months;)
I'm really into the swaddles that are a sack that zips up and then have wings to tuck in baby's arms. Any recommendations for a good brand or are they all pretty much the same?
We used the SwaddleMes, which were velcro. I became so good at the transfer to the SwaddleMe because he wouldn't fall asleep IN it. Awards should be handed out for successful sleeping baby transfers.
@ElizabethSchuyler@kissthesky32 thank you both! I love all the advice. Our newborn class teaches us to swaddle but I've also read (maybe on here somewhere? Information runs together sometimes) that people accidentally swaddle too tight and can cause hip dysplasia so now I'm scared haha.
I don't have experience with the swaddle sacks with the arm flaps, but I'd definitely look into them if I had a kiddo who was breaking out of the swaddle early but seemed to benefit from it sleep-wise! I feel like my kids have all gotten to a stage where they still need the swaddle to sleep well, but can't physically tolerate well at the same time if that makes sense? For the last two, it was around 6 months. That was when each of them rolled over *in the swaddle* for the first time so I had to ditch it. At that point I tried the magic sleep suit, zipadeezip and a woombie, and none of them really helped. Such a bummer. I know they have worked great for lots and lots of babies, though, so I'll pull them out again for this one!
My DS1 liked being swaddled at first - and at the time they were telling you to swaddle. By the time I had DS2 you weren't supposed to swaddle and he hated it anyways. He was a very large baby (11 pounds at birth) and could roll very early so it always made me nervous. I had bought this cute Velcro swaddle thing but it was never used. I feel like the swaddle (or arms down) is useful when they have a startle reaction which wakes them up and makes them angry - keeping them from doing that helps keep them asleep - but that is for when they are very little.
@ElizabethSchuyler@kissthesky32 thank you both! I love all the advice. Our newborn class teaches us to swaddle but I've also read (maybe on here somewhere? Information runs together sometimes) that people accidentally swaddle too tight and can cause hip dysplasia so now I'm scared haha.
I read that on here recently too. I showed and article about it to DH, who is an orthopedic surgeon. He rolled his eyes. He said that he would be shocked, after swaddling two of his own kids, if anyone can swaddle tightly enough to cause any harm. Swaddling is about the arms being held down to help the startle reflex and about the feeling of snuggly security. Swaddling isn't wrapping the hips and knees to keep a baby in a completely flat and extended position. So yea - pinning baby in an unnatural position, bad. Normal swaddling, fine. At least, that's DH's medical opinion. We will 100% be swaddling this baby.
I had no idea swaddling wasn't recommended anymore! I would think the majority of newborn parents would be really cautious when swaddling and not get even close to too tight.
@baby3forme I found an inexpensive rocking recliner at a furniture outlet. It is a bit narrower than a standard lazyboy which was perfect for nursing. I've also used it many nights snuggling my daughter when she's been sick.
Find something comfy since you'll log a lot of hours in it! I'm happy to have a rocking recliner rather than a glider.
Not just for STMs but I know very little about delayed cord clamping. What exactly are the benefits vs not? I definitely want to do skin to skin but delayed clamping is new to me.
Not just for STMs but I know very little about delayed cord clamping. What exactly are the benefits vs not? I definitely want to do skin to skin but delayed clamping is new to me.
The way it was explained to me is that at any given point a large portion (1/3?) of the baby's blood volume is being cycled though the cord in to the placenta and back. By delaying clamping you allow that blood to all go back in to the baby, increasing blood volume and overall iron stores.
Not a FTM but figured I could get some answers here! If you had gestational diabetes last pregnancy when did they say they would test you during this one?
I had GD last pregnancy but have lost 160 pounds since then and also cannot eat sugar without throwing up (gastric bypass). Super stressing about the glucose tolerance test and hoping they will just let me take my sugars for s couple weeks or something instead...:-/
Re: FTM Questions for STM+ -- April 17
DD is healthy, and likes sleeping in her crib. She always slept in her crib at night since she came home except when she wasn't feeling well - I'd often keep her snuggled with me, propped up in the recliner in her room.
My main point is keep the baby sleeping in a safe location (ex: crib, bassinet, pack and play, co-sleeping device, etc.) and do what works for YOUR family!
I suppose what i am trying to say is that sometimes sleep is more important than rules. Go with the flow. Find what works for your family.
Met 2008 | Dated 2010 | Married 2012
TTC#1 since June 2015
June 2016- 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 12), thin (2.45) lining | BFN
July 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 10), thin (~4) lining | BFN
August 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | BFN | Referred to specialist, visited once, was told we have less than a 3% chance even on medication, recommended to IUI for up to a 50% chance, decided not to pursue at this time | Stopped "trying"
October 2016- We became licensed foster parents
November 9, 2016- Arrival of DD#1, 4yo
March 1, 2017- 1 day late, feel like crap (low fever & exhausted) | Mom suggested test before taking meds, I laughed but did it anyway | BFP! *shock*
some say a good trick is to set up all the baby gear early and just train your cats to stay out of them. Lining with foil is what we did. It mostly worked lol (I never caught them with the baby, but the car seat was sometimes too tempting a nap place to pass up. It also moved around so maybe long term remembering is harder with that.)
TTC since August 2018
@DuchessOfCambridge I'm quite tall, so it might be different for you, but I actually loved my boba (similar to a moby). I stopped using it with DS3 around 6 months. I also have an infantino pouch and i have used it for all 3 kids and have had no issues with it. I am planning on splurging and buying a Tula this time. I think it's great to have both a wrap or ring sling and a structured pouch.
@zigzag8412 I would definitely recommend signing up for classes early. I will tell you that my hospital had you take your birthing class based on your due date and it was great. I met so many other moms due around the same time as me (with DS1-10 years ago) and we are all still friends now. I would also recommend taking infant cpr and first aid, any breastfeeding classes, and an infant care class.
@SweetMelissa4 I agree with others to be willing to be flexible. DS1 only slept in my room for about 6-8 weeks. We both kept waking each other up with every little move, and he was sleeping through the night if I didn't wake him up, so it made more sense for him to be in his own room. DS2 slept in a bassinet in my room till about 4 months. And with DS3 I bought a co-sleeper bassinet that attached to the side of the bed, but because he wanted to nurse basically all night long, I ended up with him cosleeping in bed with me (which is something I swore I would never do) until about 6 months. I think the main thing is to do what works for you and your baby. Every mama and every baby are very different. You'll figure it out though!
So basically, exactly what the others said about keeping an open mind.
Find something comfy since you'll log a lot of hours in it! I'm happy to have a rocking recliner rather than a glider.
I had GD last pregnancy but have lost 160 pounds since then and also cannot eat sugar without throwing up (gastric bypass). Super stressing about the glucose tolerance test and hoping they will just let me take my sugars for s couple weeks or something instead...:-/