@angeladowns1 I also do not get paid maternity leave and do not have short term disability insurance. I will get paid whatever I have in vacation and sick leave. (Which is about 3 weeks) but I plan on taking off closer to 11 weeks. I've saved $200 per paycheck for the past few months and so far have about $1500 saved. (It's rough, but I make myself put that amount into savings as soon as I get my paycheck and make do with whatever is left.) I should have about $3500 saved by the time baby gets here but it is going to be extremely tight while I am off work.
Thankfully SO's mother is very adamant about buying a lot of stuff for baby boy, and we will most definitely let her as it will give us the opportunity to budget and save.
@jessieR358 he does struggle on and off again with alcoholism. He went to a wacko counselor here in NC who told him what he wanted to hear (I.e. That it's not a problem). And it's slowly become more and more of a problem again. Luckily he only does it at night time, but I had had enough after the ultrasounds were ruined last night. We had a coming to Jesus earlier this evening that ended in an ultimatum. We'll see if he has the good sense the Lord gave him! I had to vent about it to you all because sometimes he has me honestly convinced that I'm the crazy mean wife expecting him to be sober, on occasion, and clean up when you make a mess like that. Thank you for the support!
@bridge-and-wall thank you I hope he also agrees to get some help. I'd hate for my boys to grow up without a father, but I will make sure to do what is best for them. His behavior is unacceptable. I'm sorry to hear you were married to one. I can imagine it was difficult. I'm hoping your marriage now is well!
@ColoradoHiker it's not usual behavior for him to pee in inappropriate places. He's don't it about 4 times however in the past year. I've not made as big a deal about them in the past because it did not affect something so important to me. He does drink every night and I know that is a problem. The problem is getting him to see it as a problem. I hate to give ultimatums but at this point there are two little guys whose lives could be drastically affected by this. My own father is a drunk and I refuse to raise my kids around it. I'm curious to see what he chooses. He didn't say a word while I was talking/yelling at him. Then again, I think anyone would be scared to. I'm not the type to be so assertive and get so mad. And right now I probably appear as a fire-breathing dragon!
@wyomama0427 this morning he didn't understand why I was so angry. He barely remembered anything which means he was blackout drunk. He said he only remembered me accusing him of peeing when he did nothing wrong. Since it's the 4 th time he's done I knew to take pictures so he would be able to see the evidence if his artwork. He has said he's sorry a couple times but at this point those two words do nothing for me. I have decided to speak with a lawyer about my options as I want to prepare for my children. Thank you for your support! It's great to know I'm not the evil B I got called in this situation.
My husband told me he was bringing ice cream home. (Like he told me he was leaving the parking lot of the grocery store and he had ice cream for me) comes home. NO ICE CREAM. Wtaf? He says it was a "joke" I was like jokes are funny. You're just a dick
@DPandMB, @JNR6510, and @DaphneMoon1 thanks we had a talk earlier and will continue to talk in a few hours when he's done with class. I'm still going to look at other options because I've unfortunately been down this road before. I worry he's too old now to care to break the habit. Hopefully his family will mean more than getting trashed, but honestly his life is great and he has no reason to get trashed other than he likes how it feels. If that's the function of the behavior then it will be extremely difficult to break. I'm a behavior analyst and we have the hardest time breaking behaviors serving this type of function.
@iheartichi that sounds like a great idea. I hope he doesn't do it again but if he does I'll try to video it. For now I just have pictures of everything soaked.
@mbates87 omfg. I would be absolutely livid. I think you are 100% making the right decision by speaking to a lawyer and figuring out what your options are. Even though he may have said he is sorry, sorry is not enough to make up for his absolutely horrendous behavior. He should think about the man he is coming and if he would be proud for his sons to behave in the same way when they are grown. It is his responsibility to set a proper example for them. I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of that. I hope that he gets help for his problems before it is too late.
@divinemsm620 I'm in the same boat except no sore throat. I've been coughing and dealing with plegm nonstop for almost 3 weeks now. Someone said it may be allergies, but I'm going to ask my doctor about it Friday during my appointment.
I don't think mine are allergies. I have those... but I started my allergy medicine on 4/10. (I am so relieved it is pregnancy-safe!) I guess I could be wrong, but I think this is still from the virus I got, which started with the sore throat.
@mbates87 Wow I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. It sounds like you're definitely making the right call by figuring out what options you have and by doing what's best for you and your boys because that's the most important thing here. He might say his sorry, but if this is repeated behavior, he's clearly not THAT sorry. Actions speak louder than words, ya know? Again, I'm really sorry you even have to deal with this. Hopefully he comes to his senses before he loses his family. Big hugs.
Me & DH: 31 | Married: 5.4.13 | TTC: April 2016 | BFP: 1.8.17 | EDD: 9.13.17
@mbates87 I think you are making the right decision speaking to a lawyer. If he doesn't get help, the drinking could have a huge effect on your kids. You don't want them growing up around that. Hopefully, his family means more to him than the booze, but I know that's not the case for some alcoholics. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I can't imagine how hard that is while you're pregnant.
Thanks everyone! He has decided to that drinking is not worth losing his family. Let's see if he sticks with it this time. One mess up and he's gone. I'm sick of having the same talk every few months. He is a great father to my son, but no child should grow up around a drunk.
And other than a pathetic "I'm sorry," I am still awaiting a genuine apology.
@mbates87 I'm so glad you stuck up for yourself (and your kids) hopefully he really gets it and will do what he needs to do to be better for his family!
@mbates87 I hope he is able to stop drinking and get to the root of his problems. Alcoholism runs in my family on both sides and is why my husband doesn't have a father(he didn't decide to quit). It is such a difficult disease. Have you looked into family of al-anon support for yourself?
Eta: I'm sorry I realise my post comes across sort of strange. I was trying to relate and support, but I'm not sure it reads that way. Your H putting his family above all, is a very good start.
Re: Bitchfest 4/17
Thankfully SO's mother is very adamant about buying a lot of stuff for baby boy, and we will most definitely let her as it will give us the opportunity to budget and save.
@ColoradoHiker it's not usual behavior for him to pee in inappropriate places. He's don't it about 4 times however in the past year. I've not made as big a deal about them in the past because it did not affect something so important to me. He does drink every night and I know that is a problem. The problem is getting him to see it as a problem. I hate to give ultimatums but at this point there are two little guys whose lives could be drastically affected by this. My own father is a drunk and I refuse to raise my kids around it. I'm curious to see what he chooses. He didn't say a word while I was talking/yelling at him. Then again, I think anyone would be scared to. I'm not the type to be so assertive and get so mad. And right now I probably appear as a fire-breathing dragon!
@iheartichi that sounds like a great idea. I hope he doesn't do it again but if he does I'll try to video it. For now I just have pictures of everything soaked.
Me & DH: 31 | Married: 5.4.13 | TTC: April 2016 | BFP: 1.8.17 | EDD: 9.13.17
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Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
And other than a pathetic "I'm sorry," I am still awaiting a genuine apology.
Eta: I'm sorry I realise my post comes across sort of strange. I was trying to relate and support, but I'm not sure it reads that way. Your H putting his family above all, is a very good start.