Exploring Child Care

missyrosek

Any other first-time moms feeling completely overwhelmed looking at child care options? There's just so much to figure out. Any tips on how to navigate this from those of you who have done it before?

ColoradoHiker

Do your research, visit lots of daycares, get recommendations from friends, and if your gut says something isn't right about a place, listen to it.  Make sure they are licensed, and up to date on the license.  Also, start now.  Lots of daycares will already have a waiting list for when we need to go back to work.

HollyGolightly09

To be honest, that's something I keep pushing out of my mind.  I will ultimately only need someone to keep her 2 days a week, and I don't know of any daycares that will let you pay by the day and not the week. Ideally, I would find some sweet retired lady to keep her those two days. I suppose I need to put feelers out so I at least know what I need to do.

Dmurphy10

Daycare was one of the harder choices because I had to be 100% comfortable with my choice. Getting opinions from others that have used the particular day care you are considering proved to be the most beneficial to my DH and I. We went the learning center route because they have lesson plans, I know they are licenses, and provide two evaluations on your child each year so you get an idea where they are developmentally. With my first child I found this really helpful because I can read all I want and my doctor can tell me but these are professionals that are around my child all day and are around other kids her age all day as well. I completely agree that you have to go with your gut on this and feel very comfortable with your choice.

baileylove22

My girls started out with a nanny who we found on care.com. It was really a tough process as we interviewed about 30 people and I think 1 lady showed up high. The daycares in the area that I lived (DC) all had waiting lists that you would have to get on before you knew you were pregnant so they were out. They started daycare when we moved at about 18 mos. I really love the daycare they are in now. It has been working out really well. I am not sure what route we will take with childcare this time around. I need to get on that I guess. 

missyrosek

baileylove22 said:

My girls started out with a nanny who we found on care.com. It was really a tough process as we interviewed about 30 people and I think 1 lady showed up high. The daycares in the area that I lived (DC) all had waiting lists that you would have to get on before you knew you were pregnant so they were out. They started daycare when we moved at about 18 mos. I really love the daycare they are in now. It has been working out really well. I am not sure what route we will take with childcare this time around. I need to get on that I guess. 

I live in the D.C. area (Northern Va.) and can't get over how many more options there are in the suburbs vs. in the city.

mrs_tacos

Starting around 6 months old, we'll need something two to three mornings a week. I'm hoping to do the nanny route instead of a daycare, since I work from home and having someone come in would be much less time consuming. But I haven't even begun to look yet. That's an issue for future-Tacos to worry about.

dogdisnylovr

I've visited one daycare so far. It is at a church and most of the staff are older ladies. I like the idea of little old church ladies watching my baby. But when I walked into one of the infant rooms I was completely overwhelmed. I honestly didn't know what to expect and I am waiting until I visit a couple others before I pass judgement. It wasn't dirty, smelly, or anything like that, it just completely threw me off.

I have visiting day cares on my list of things to do ASAP, but I have to take time off to do that and we are swamped. It is so hard fitting everything in. 

jessieR358

baileylove22 said:

My girls started out with a nanny who we found on care.com. It was really a tough process as we interviewed about 30 people and I think 1 lady showed up high. The daycares in the area that I lived (DC) all had waiting lists that you would have to get on before you knew you were pregnant so they were out. They started daycare when we moved at about 18 mos. I really love the daycare they are in now. It has been working out really well. I am not sure what route we will take with childcare this time around. I need to get on that I guess. 

30 people! That sounds so overwhelming. My mom watches my son on the days I work (2-3 days a week) and he goes to preschool two days a week at church. I get stressed out when i have to find a backup for my mom. I interviewed one lady and I was pretty sure she probably lived on opiates. I had to sit there an hour knowing the whole time I was never ever going to use her. She came highly recommended too! 

JNR6510

HollyGolightly09 said:

To be honest, that's something I keep pushing out of my mind.  I will ultimately only need someone to keep her 2 days a week, and I don't know of any daycares that will let you pay by the day and not the week. Ideally, I would find some sweet retired lady to keep her those two days. I suppose I need to put feelers out so I at least know what I need to do.

I am in the same boat. With DH's 24/48 shift schedule, I will only need someone to keep Laurel for 1-2 days a week. The rest of the time one of us will be able to take her with us.

Swazzle

I am really struggling with this. We've visited two daycares so far and after the first one, I cried 3x that night lol. I just couldn't see bringing my kid to that place. The prices for 5 days were both around $1400 a month. 

DH and I both work full time, Monday-Friday, it takes about an hour each way to get to/from work for both of us and our jobs aren't really flexible. Right now he leaves at 4am and gets home around 3pm and I leave at 6am and get home around 4pm. So we need childcare for pretty long hours and most daycares don't even open that early. I will have the option to change my hours which means I wouldn't have to leave in the morning until 8 but then I won't get home until closer to 6:30 which would stink. 

My dad has offered to come up every Sunday night and stay until Friday afternoon to babysit for us and while that's absolutely our number 1 option right now, I would like to maybe find something for a few days a week to give him a break because I think it might be too much for him. 

I'm going to continue to hold out hope that I'll win the lottery in the next 11 months so I can quit my job and be a SAHM

Doggiedoc2016

Thinking about daycare is so stressful!!! Everything is so up in the air for us that we just can't commit to searching for a place we are moving in june and I'm not sure what my hours will be. DH works from home and I have the potential to work maybe 3-4 days per week with some
of this potentially be weekends or nights. So then the whole daycare vs. in home care is still up and the air. And not knowing where we will live also makes it hard to narrow down the search. DH's company gets preference at a few daycares which will be nice, but who knows how close or far those places will be once we move!! It's so stressful!! I'll just keep avoiding it for now. 

BecauseLove

Gosh I wish we had options (or the luxury to decide between  care provider philosophies etc) where I am...we will just be lucky if we get a spot (and if we get lucky it might only be 2 days a week) at one of the home or center day cares...there is roughly a 40 child waiting list for day care in our area. And it's worse for infants. 

wineren

I started calling daycares as soon as I found out I was pregnant. One of them didn't have any expected openings until July 2018. I work for the state in a job that gets me pretty familiar with the daycares in the area and there are very few I'm comfortable with. I'm basically hoping something works out before I have to go back to work. My husband may end up having to cut his hours back if we can't get a full-time slot right away. Infant care is ridiculously hard to find and expensive! 

iheartichi

I second everybody who said start now! Get on all the waiting lists you can, even if you feel like you wouldn't want to go there. That may be your only choice. At least that's what happened to me. I had to put DS in one for 2 months at first that I hated, it was sooooo hard. But then a spot came open where he is now and he loves it and I do, too! We were on about 8 waiting lists and a spot JUST opened on one, and he's almost 2 1/2!
Also, DSS has a childcare website in my state where you can check all the daycares, even licensed in-home ones, and see their violations for the past 2 years. 
ETA: I forgot to say to keep calling and visiting and checking your name if you're on a list. I'm sure they're not supposed to, but they may take you more seriously if they think you are serious! 

BostonBaby1

Definitely compare costs for daycare/ in home daycare vs nanny for your area. For us, a nanny is actually less expensive. I'm about to begin looking myself for a part-time. I work from home but need help to actually do that now that DS is getting mobile.

LynnBrown4

Like everyone else said... do your research, get on waiting lists now. But also make calls, even if you are on the list. This was how I found the perfect place for my first. Visit. If it feels wrong, listen to your instinct, no one knows your child like you do. Personally, I would make sure they are licensed, and all staff have had appropriate screening/background checks/education. Ask for things like the menu (for larger centers, it's often it's on a monthly rotation), how often the kids go outside and especially how discipline is handled. 

Good luck!

Sprite2012

HollyGolightly09 said:

To be honest, that's something I keep pushing out of my mind.  I will ultimately only need someone to keep her 2 days a week, and I don't know of any daycares that will let you pay by the day and not the week. Ideally, I would find some sweet retired lady to keep her those two days. I suppose I need to put feelers out so I at least know what I need to do.

This is exactly what I did with DS.  I found a retired lady who was waiting for her kids to have grandchildren, who was willing to nanny my son and another little boy.  She did it until we moved abroad, when DS was about 2.  It was the best decision we made on childcare.  I'm planning to do almost the same thing with this LO.  I found a retired school teacher who watches 3-4 kids to "keep her young".

ETA: @HollyGolightly09 , meant to tag in my response. 

Sprite2012

My recommendation - start looking now.  Waitlists are a real thing for infants in most cities, and I can only imagine trying to find infant care in more rural areas.

Also, visit/explore every option you have.  In-home daycares, daycare centers, nanny shares, au pairs, live-out nannies, etc.  Check local universities (ours has a great daycare center for students and alumni), ask neighbors and local mamas about what they know.  Look on your state website (if there is one) where a list of licensed providers can be found, and call all of them.  If you don't much care about the licensed part, check your local mom boards/classifieds for possibly a SAHM looking to watch another LO.  Get your LO on a waitlist somewhere you approve of (or a spot reserved) as soon as possible, and continue your search until you are comfortable.

Side note, this isn't easy.  It's the most unnatural feeling in the world to drive away from your baby and go to work.  I'm a proud working mama with no intention to ever be a SAHM, so I knew I'd be leaving my baby in the care of someone else eventually.  It's not easy.  It's actually horrible.  You have no idea until you're actually doing it.  So the more comfortable you are with your choice, the little (very little) bit easier that first day/week/month will be.  Find someone and someplace you LOVE.  Not just like or think is good enough.

missyrosek

Sprite2012 said:

HollyGolightly09 said:

To be honest, that's something I keep pushing out of my mind.  I will ultimately only need someone to keep her 2 days a week, and I don't know of any daycares that will let you pay by the day and not the week. Ideally, I would find some sweet retired lady to keep her those two days. I suppose I need to put feelers out so I at least know what I need to do.

This is exactly what I did with DS.  I found a retired lady who was waiting for her kids to have grandchildren, who was willing to nanny my son and another little boy.  She did it until we moved abroad, when DS was about 2.  It was the best decision we made on childcare.  I'm planning to do almost the same thing with this LO.  I found a retired school teacher who watches 3-4 kids to "keep her young".

ETA: @HollyGolightly09 , meant to tag in my response. 

@Sprite2012 how did you find them?

MyNamesTaken

Also make sure that whatever you choose fits your life. There are a lot of home daycares here that seem wonderful but they close for March break and other school holidays so the providers can be with their own kids. We didn't want to have our holidays dictated to us so a centre seemed like a more stable choice (also no fears of the provider having sick days or anything).

On the other hand, a centre is less flexible with hours. They are open when they're open which doesn't work for those who don't work a steady day job. 

ETA: posted too soon. DS is at a centre which we love. He'll go down to part-time while I'm on leave and then this LO will go full-time and DS will start kindergarten when my year is up.

coastalmomma2

I want to reiterate how important it is to visit each center and to go with your gut. DS was put into daycare at 6 months and while it was a hard decision it was the right one for that time. I also want to echo posters comments that waiting lists are already beginning to fill up. This baby is already on a waiting list for when I return to work in January.

iheartichi

Sprite2012 said:

My recommendation - start looking now.  Waitlists are a real thing for infants in most cities, and I can only imagine trying to find infant care in more rural areas.

Also, visit/explore every option you have.  In-home daycares, daycare centers, nanny shares, au pairs, live-out nannies, etc.  Check local universities (ours has a great daycare center for students and alumni), ask neighbors and local mamas about what they know.  Look on your state website (if there is one) where a list of licensed providers can be found, and call all of them.  If you don't much care about the licensed part, check your local mom boards/classifieds for possibly a SAHM looking to watch another LO.  Get your LO on a waitlist somewhere you approve of (or a spot reserved) as soon as possible, and continue your search until you are comfortable.

Side note, this isn't easy.  It's the most unnatural feeling in the world to drive away from your baby and go to work.  I'm a proud working mama with no intention to ever be a SAHM, so I knew I'd be leaving my baby in the care of someone else eventually.  It's not easy.  It's actually horrible.  You have no idea until you're actually doing it.  So the more comfortable you are with your choice, the little (very little) bit easier that first day/week/month will be.  Find someone and someplace you LOVE.  Not just like or think is good enough.

Yes yes yes yes yes!! To all of that!! Ooooh I cried all day that first day I dropped him off. But I work full-time, too and when I drop him off now, at a place we all love, he runs away from me to hug his teachers. He runs to his infant teachers for hugs every morning. It's hard at first if it's something you have/want to do, BUT there is a light!! 

Sprite2012

missykhamvongsa said:

Sprite2012 said:

HollyGolightly09 said:

To be honest, that's something I keep pushing out of my mind.  I will ultimately only need someone to keep her 2 days a week, and I don't know of any daycares that will let you pay by the day and not the week. Ideally, I would find some sweet retired lady to keep her those two days. I suppose I need to put feelers out so I at least know what I need to do.

This is exactly what I did with DS.  I found a retired lady who was waiting for her kids to have grandchildren, who was willing to nanny my son and another little boy.  She did it until we moved abroad, when DS was about 2.  It was the best decision we made on childcare.  I'm planning to do almost the same thing with this LO.  I found a retired school teacher who watches 3-4 kids to "keep her young".

ETA: @HollyGolightly09 , meant to tag in my response. 

@Sprite2012 how did you find them?

@missykhamvongsa  I found her via word of mouth.  I inquired with the moms in my neighborhood, and her name came up a couple times, along with another lady who has more of an in-home daycare.  If you dig, you'll find whatever it is you're looking for

ETA:  I found my son's nanny the same way, chatting with neighborhood moms at the rec center pool.  She was a neighbor of one of them, and thought she'd be interested.  She was and it worked out perfect.

DaphneMoon1

Know the laws for your state. Visit lots of centers and ask lots of questions. Good luck! It's really hard!

HollyGolightly09

missykhamvongsa said:

Sprite2012 said:

HollyGolightly09 said:

To be honest, that's something I keep pushing out of my mind.  I will ultimately only need someone to keep her 2 days a week, and I don't know of any daycares that will let you pay by the day and not the week. Ideally, I would find some sweet retired lady to keep her those two days. I suppose I need to put feelers out so I at least know what I need to do.

This is exactly what I did with DS.  I found a retired lady who was waiting for her kids to have grandchildren, who was willing to nanny my son and another little boy.  She did it until we moved abroad, when DS was about 2.  It was the best decision we made on childcare.  I'm planning to do almost the same thing with this LO.  I found a retired school teacher who watches 3-4 kids to "keep her young".

ETA: @HollyGolightly09 , meant to tag in my response. 

@Sprite2012 how did you find them?

Obviously, I'm just figuring this out as I go... but, I posted on Facebook asking if any of my friends know of anyone who might be interested in keeping her. I figured that was the best way to ask as many people as possible. 

GracefulStar

My two just started daycare and I agree with what everyone has said. I will also add to just have a back up plan for if they get sick, especially if they are around other kids. Sometimes they will need to be out for several days, so just take that into consideration. If you can take the time, leave with a family member or friend that's great but especially at the beginning they may get sick often. 

jessieR358

GracefulStar said:

My two just started daycare and I agree with what everyone has said. I will also add to just have a back up plan for if they get sick, especially if they are around other kids. Sometimes they will need to be out for several days, so just take that into consideration. If you can take the time, leave with a family member or friend that's great but especially at the beginning they may get sick often. 

This is a really good point. Luckily my mom watches my son on the days I work or I probably would have been fired from my job. DS is 21 months and literally had a fever for 3 out of 5-6 weeks that just ended about 2 weeks ago. I was at my wits end with the pediatrician and the never ending sicknesses. We contemplated pulling him out of Mother's Day out until the fall because the illnesses were just one after another with high fevers. I missed a couple days when he was really bad, but I was burning through PTO. I guess I would have had to file FMLA honestly if I didn't have any help.