You know you are so pregnant when...

pshaortao

Since pregnancy can get so uncomfortable as most of us in the home stretch, lets have some fun with this! 

MiaQuiche84

You drop something on the floor and say to your SO, "There is no way I am going to be able to pick that up" (happened at Costco last night when I was enjoying a rather large slice of pizza - the fork fell, not the pizza, thank goodness!)

BabyMC517

When you walk up a flight of stairs to your apartment and are winded or when you are just having a conversation with someone and you get winded.

p.s. Making H take the dog out when he gets home since I take her out in the morning. 

WombThereItIs

...It isn't that big a deal when your flight is cancelled because thanks to being a sweaty discharge machine you already packed extra tops and undies.

...you lost track of your weight because you can't stand on the scale and still see the numbers under your belly anymore

...you also give no f-cks about the above anymore because pregnant. 

CherryBananas

... you take off your pants the second you get home at the end of the day.

... you have no qualms about eating ice cream for breakfast.

WombThereItIs

...we are all apparently too tired for a weekly UO thread.

Louise_Belcher

...you say to your husband "maybe tonight I will make it through the night without eating" and you still totally get up at 2:30 and eat a hand full of sour gummy worms in the dark

achays11

...it is apparently very cold in the office, yet you still have a fan on because you are hotter than the sun. 

nda_roxybabe

...your feet have decided you weigh entirely too much and just hurt all the time.
...you question every little stomach pain and wonder if "this is it"
...walking and talking means you run out of breath
...sleep is becoming a distant memory

BabyMC517

achays11 said:

...it is apparently very cold in the office, yet you still have a fan on because you are hotter than the sun. 

ugh I keep forgetting to bring my little fan to my office! I'm always on fire and everyone else is cold! 

nda_roxybabe

Louise_Belcher said:

...you say to your husband "maybe tonight I will make it through the night without eating" and you still totally get up at 2:30 and eat a hand full of sour gummy worms in the dark

This made me giggle! I'm thinking I need to add sour gummy worms to my nightstand stash. Sounds better than the nutrigrain bars I've been having.

pshaortao

When your DH asks you to get something from downstair/upstair and you can only respond with a glare until he gets it himself.

nda_roxybabe

pshaortao said:

When your DH asks you to get something from downstair/upstair and you can only respond with a glare until he gets it himself.

H has been a SAINT about going up/downstairs for me, but I think it's because I fell down the stairs a couple months ago so now he's paranoid.

jayandaplus

Love this! Second @WombThereItIs and @nda_roxybabe.

...when you forget what you're talking about mid-sentence.
...when you wake up several times in the middle of the night to pee and someone asks you how you slept and you don't know how to answer, because at least you slept at all.
...when seeing babies or baby things make your boobs sore/tingle/etc. (TMI?)

hp_momma

...when it's is a 5-10 minute ordeal to roll over in bed and get comfortable again. Let's not even discuss the amount of times it takes to get up out of the bed. 

luckywife10

... when you normally eat lunch at 11:30, but you look at the clock and it's 10:45 and you say "eh, close enough" and start eating your lunch.

PghMom412

... when any shoe that ties, buckles, or requires extra effort to put on is dead to you. 

bubsalicious

luckywife10 said:

... when you normally eat lunch at 11:30, but you look at the clock and it's 10:45 and you say "eh, close enough" and start eating your lunch.

...and then have your first snack at the normal lunch time.

inomniaparatus2

When rolling over requires grunts, moans and other noises and then leaves you out of breath.

when instead of picking up dog toys you kick them into a pile and leave them for DH to pick up. 

When you leave piles of laundry to be taken upstairs and you wait a week for DH to do it so you don't have to walk up or down stairs

when you breathe heavily without realizing and DH asks if anything is wrong. Nope just out of breath from opening the fridge and sitting back down. 

cclaineDC

@luckywife10 that was totally me this morning!

... when all your laundry is pajamas because you're a sweaty mess every night. 

... when you feel like crying on the metro because everyone's nose is in their cellphone and nobody offers you a seat.

nda_roxybabe

...when your husband rolls over in the night and sees you awake and says "go to sleep" and all you can do is glare and say "I wish I could!"

WombThereItIs

cclaineDC said:

... when you feel like crying on the metro because everyone's nose is in their cellphone and nobody offers you a seat.

Metro while pregnant is the worst! The only people who have ever offered me a seat are older women I would normally give mine up for. DC is a blast...

BeachMommy2B

... when you say f*ck it and eat burger king for lunch! (seriously someone should have stopped this one)

... when you become obsessed about the decrease/increase in the amount of discharge every time you pee. 

... when you buy your kids Easter candy a week early and feel accomplished but then have to replenish it three days before Easter because you ate it all throughout the week

vrj0522

...when a temperature that would have you freezing before is still too warm.

...when something that would take you 10 minutes to do before now takes 30.

...when you are always checking your panties or toilet paper for signs of imminent labor.

BabyMC517

all of the above! Forget shoes, I've been wearing flip flops to work and I don't care anymore! Totally eat lunch early and getting to the point that I don't care if I do have ice cream and another sweet in the same day!

0408Bear

...you drop the soap mid shower and use shampoo /conditioner to clean the rest of you!

nda_roxybabe

SWE2 said:

When rolling over requires grunts, moans and other noises and then leaves you out of breath.

when instead of picking up dog toys you kick them into a pile and leave them for DH to pick up. 

When you leave piles of laundry to be taken upstairs and you wait a week for DH to do it so you don't have to walk up or down stairs

when you breathe heavily without realizing and DH asks if anything is wrong. Nope just out of breath from opening the fridge and sitting back down. 

Yup! It's H's job every weekend to bring the fully dirty basket down. Then I leave the full clean basket for him to bring up, but it sits down there allllll week. Which means putting on a dress in the morning and remember to stop at the basket downstairs for the underwear I want.

L1C4gal

...when almost every story you tell ends with "and then I ate it all." (It's like the pregnancy equivalent of "and then I found five dollars.")

+1 on pain while rolling over, sweating through sleepless nights, constantly getting winded, and never ever picking anything up off the floor again

@cclaineDC and @WombThereItIs I spent the last two weeks in DC, and while I mostly rode the Metro during off-peak hours, the one time I rode at rush hour I didn't have a seat and nobody offered me one. I felt like yelling, "YOU PEOPLE ARE TERRIBLE!"

Jkp7749

I love all of these. I cant remeber who said it but the "breathing hard so your husband asks whats wrong" keeps happening over here..he keeps thinking I'm mad about something 

kat81

...you stub your toes ALL of the time because you can't see them and you're shuffling around to walk, not really picking up your feet.

I was also going to say many of these others but you all said them! The other day in class I dropped my dry erase marker and I said, "I'm not picking that up. I'm getting a new one. I have to pick my battles now" to my students. (It was capped so I wasn't being that irresponsible.)

And yes yes yes to all of the bedtime/rolling over ones. The worst!
I also feel for the public transit folks. When I was pregnant with #1 I used to use public transit to commute. It was late fall/early winter so I was wearing a big coat but I'd make a point of unzipping it right before I boarded so people could see the bump. I almost always was offered a seat but sometimes I had to walk way into the bus before someone offered. Incidentally, it was almost always a woman. Men almost never offered.

Hansolosparka

You say "Here we go..." every time you need to roll over, stand up, bend down, or walk more than 10 consecutive steps. 

jayandaplus

This thread is making my day!

m3ganmc

...when sweeping and vacuuming feels like an Olympic event

im dying reading all of these!!

SKZW

... when you walk into the living room, eliminate in your mind all the possible places to sit, because you know you can't easily get out of them, and narrow it down to the last remaining seat on the couch, only to see that the dog's laying there, so you don't hesitate to wake her up and get her to move over ... and you don't feel bad about it. at. all.

CherryBananas

nda_roxybabe said:

Snip!

This made me giggle! I'm thinking I need to add sour gummy worms to my nightstand stash. Sounds better than the nutrigrain bars I've been having.

A nightstand stash honestly never occurred to me. This is a dangerous concept...

BabyMC517

...when you just went to use the restroom that is in the next building over but forgot to take your tervis cup to get more ice and water and have no desire to go back, but you really want some! Maybe a student assistant will get it for me...

SKZW

... when you realize you're standing like two feet away from the kitchen counter doing food prep and your arms are stretched as far as they'll go and the counter's still touching your belly...

Louise_Belcher

@nda_roxybabe I would be in trouble with a night stand stash! I was fumbling around the dark kitchen looking for gummy worms I was certain I saw a few days before. Most nights this semester DH is still up doing course prep in the living room and will send me a text guessing what yummy treasure I had found. He has gotten good at guessing just by sound 

starphish18

...when you drop something on the floor and kick it towards your husband so he can pick it up.

jayandaplus

@SKZW Dishes are one of my main chores, and it's killing me. I literally can't get over the sink enough!

...when you ask DH if he wants a smoothie because you want one and hope he'll offer to make it because, let's be honest, doing anything is work these days. (He didn't and I ended up making a mess.)

...when you accidentally bump into things with your belly and find yourself mystified that there was something that close to your body that you didn't register until too late (a door, a counter, etc.)

onebadmotha

...when you have to "take a breather" halfway through your son's night time song or else you'll pass out.