@CandyApple2012 Without making this a drawn out story, I wish I had declined having my water broken during my induction. It was way too early and I wasn't progressing at all. Once your water breaks, you are on a 24 hour time limit. I barely made it by the time frame and my DD and I both got an infection.
At my Dr office we have ultasounds at 8, 12, 16, anatomy at 20, 24, and sometimes 28. So I would expect an ultrasound. I wish I would've know just how big I was going to get (I have people thinking I was over due at the very beginning of my 3rd trimester) and how bad my edema was going to be. I had to wear flip flops in the winter because my feet wouldn't fit in any of my shoes. Also (I did however read about this) when you push you really do push like your pooping and don't be worried if you do, your doctor and nurses or midwife or souls have seen it all. And to always always always trust your instincts. I thought something was wrong but no one would listen until finally one nurse realized DS was pulling hard for air and turns out he was sick and we ended up staying for 7 days.
At my Dr office we have ultasounds at 8, 12, 16, anatomy at 20, 24, and sometimes 28. So I would expect an ultrasound. I wish I would've know just how big I was going to get (I have people thinking I was over due at the very beginning of my 3rd trimester) and how bad my edema was going to be. I had to wear flip flops in the winter because my feet wouldn't fit in any of my shoes. Also (I did however read about this) when you push you really do push like your pooping and don't be worried if you do, your doctor and nurses or midwife or souls have seen it all. And to always always always trust your instincts. I thought something was wrong but no one would listen until finally one nurse realized DS was pulling hard for air and turns out he was sick and we ended up staying for 7 days.
That's so many ultrasounds!
I wouldnt expect that at most practices. We do one at 8ish weeks, then anatomy scan at 18 - 20 weeks, then I always pay extra for the 3D US at around 32 weeks. That's pretty much it.
my doc might also do 12ish weeks, but I'm pretty sure that's just to get people a pretty picture for their announcements ;-) The 8 week baby is still a bit of a smudge.
We told immediate family and very close friend right away as we did with our first. We will tell others when we see them in person after the first trimester passes. I didn't do a formal announcement with the last and won't again with this one.
I have a comment about the uterine massage, it wasn't that painful for me. I certainly didn't enjoy it but it was more of an uncomfortable quick moment.
@cutright1 I definitely agree with listen to your instincts! When I went in for decreased movement with my son everyone was telling me I was crazy because you feel less movement near the end of pregnancy. Well I was right and saved his life by going to the doctor. Trust your mama instincts everyone!
Another one: Was there any part of your pregnancy or birth experience you were totally naive about that you wished you knew the first time? Any regrets or something you'll do differently this time around?
For me, I wish I knew what a uterine massage was. I was caught by surprise and experienced it pretty traumatically. Still nervous about it for the second time around. Hopefully I have a different nurse who isn't so violent.
You want a violent nurse lol. I was s l&d nurse and I have caught a ton of postpartum hemorrhages from massing the uterus aggressively. It really sucks but must be done. But I do think women should be warned about it prior to birth.
Also most l&d nurses are more aggressive with c/s becAuse risk of hemorrhage is higher than vaginal and most women are still really numb following the spinal. If they aren't it is painful but very necessary.
Also (I did however read about this) when you push you really do push like your pooping and don't be worried if you do, your doctor and nurses or midwife or souls have seen it all.
This! In my birthing class, the public health nurse stressed SO often to NOT push like your pooping. But when I was pushing with DD, I wasn't getting anywhere until the nurse finally said "honey, you need to push like you're having a big poop!" And I'm so glad she told me that because as soon as I started pushing that way, my daughter was born in no time! Wish I would've known sooner because I wasted a lot of time trying to figure out another way to push. My nurse also did something really helpful, by resting her fingers on the outer rim of my vagina and telling me to "push her fingers away" every time I pushed. It really helped me figure out which muscles to use!
Another one: Was there any part of your pregnancy or birth experience you were totally naive about that you wished you knew the first time? Any regrets or something you'll do differently this time around?
For me, I wish I knew what a uterine massage was. I was caught by surprise and experienced it pretty traumatically. Still nervous about it for the second time around. Hopefully I have a different nurse who isn't so violent.
You want a violent nurse lol. I was s l&d nurse and I have caught a ton of postpartum hemorrhages from massing the uterus aggressively. It really sucks but must be done. But I do think women should be warned about it prior to birth.
Yes! I had a very gentle nurse do my uterine massage right after DD was born, and the next morning I was still losing SO much blood and passing huge blood clots. Another, more aggressive, nurse came in and massaged me again and realized there were still some huge clogs in my uterus that had been missed after birth and had to manually go in and remove them (which honestly felt like I was giving birth all over again!) and I had to be closely monitored for two more days to make sure my blood loss was stabilizing. Definitely don't mean to scare you by this! But it's definitely something I wish I would've known more about before giving birth.
I wish I knew that touching the babies head as I was pushing would help me connect and push easier. I am creeped out by birth so much and kept refusing to feel my DS's head but I had been pushing for over an hour and finally my husband just grabbed my hand and made me do it. After I felt him down there I pushed him out in 2 pushes like it was nothing. Touching him helped me connect to what my body was trying to do and I was able to relax. I also wish someone would have told me about the uterine massage! I had to have it twice with my second son because I was bleeding so much and it was very painful. Just as painful as the transition period for me (I did vaginal births without pain meds for both boys).
I wish I knew that touching the babies head as I was pushing would help me connect and push easier. I am creeped out by birth so much and kept refusing to feel my DS's head but I had been pushing for over an hour and finally my husband just grabbed my hand and made me do it. After I felt him down there I pushed him out in 2 pushes like it was nothing. Touching him helped me connect to what my body was trying to do and I was able to relax.
@missbmama that is an excellent tip! I wish I had done this with DS, and definitely will be more "hands on" so to speak, this time around!
@CandyApple2012 I had a c-section following a failed induction. It wasn't bad. I had already had an epidural put in after hours of pitocin contractions. (Once the contractions started stacking with virtually no rest in between, I went for the epidural), so they just added more meds to that. I could feel the pressure of them pushing on her to pop her out (she would not descend, which is why we had to do the c-section, so she was still chilling under my rib cage) but no pain. The worst parts were: 1. some people have a reaction to the meds that results in uncontrollable shaking/shivering, which isn't much fun. 2. I got to see her and kiss her, but not hold her right after, but not all hospitals have that policy 3. The pain meds made me nauseous after, and the nurse was not quick about getting me anti-nausea meds, so I threw up, which is not fun after they cut you open. The recovery really wasn't too bad, but @tmk0325 is right that getting up after laying down is hard--I'd roll over and try to get up really quick to get to the baby or try to pick her up the wrong way and get a swift reminder that I had just had surgery. I don't think the recovery is probably that much worse than certain vaginal deliveries, though. And the numbness at the incision is weird. My abdomen is still slightly numb (8.5 months out)
Married May 2014 DD born August 2016 Baby #2 due December 2017
@flowerpower5838 I'm on the side of waiting for the anatomy scan. If it's not necessary, I don't really see a point. I charted, so I don't need a dating scan.
SN used to be soemthingclever Me: 28 DH: 35 Dx PCOS May 2015 Baby #1 due 12/7/17
@TigerCakes I'm so glad everything turned out okay! It's so scary when you just know somethings wrong but no one will listen.
Another thought for FTMs I went into early labor at 34 weeks until DS was born, so I constantly thought I might be inn actual labor because of having contractions and I was 4 cm dilated by 36 weeks. But trust me you WILL know when the real contractions start. I went into real labor at about 4 am the day before his due date and by 830 am on his due date I couldn't take the pain any more and we went to the hospital and sure enough I got to stay and he was born at 310. (Yes 36 hours of labor)
Also don't ever feel like a failure or ashamed if your birthplan doesn't happen exactly like you want it to. Babies and our bodies do their own thing during this time and you have to let go of your birthplan sometimes and do what's best in that moment and long run for baby and your body because your recovery is just as important.
@mrsorigami uterine massage is a lifesaving measure that must be done aggressively in order to be effective, so it wasn't just that particular nurse. If they don't do it strongly enough you could bleed out.
This I know. Beforehand I did not know but I wish someone had told me. The nurse who did mine was pretty violent about it. It was the most painful thing for me, worse than labor and delivery. She had her knee shoved down onto my chest so I couldn't even move. The pounding she did on my stomach was awful. Definitely not how others I know have experienced.
@mrsorigami uterine massage is a lifesaving measure that must be done aggressively in order to be effective, so it wasn't just that particular nurse. If they don't do it strongly enough you could bleed out.
This I know. Beforehand I did not know but I wish someone had told me. The nurse who did mine was pretty violent about it. It was the most painful thing for me, worse than labor and delivery. She had her knee shoved down onto my chest so I couldn't even move. The pounding she did on my stomach was awful. Definitely not how others I know have experienced.
And yes, they do it with c-sections too.
Uhhhh...I'm an RN and I have LITERALLY NEVER had to place my knee on someone's chest. That doesn't even sound like a real nurse to me
@moonlady-2 my due date was November 30th, and my son came 3 days late on December 3rd. My midwife uses a different method to determine due dates. Since my cycle is shorter than normal, she took that into account. She said first time moms usually go about 10 days late and it's normal.
@moonlady-2 I was 10 days early with my first after experiencing preterm labor at 34weeks that they were able to stall. My second came on his due date lol so I'm expecting this one to be late I really believe it depends on each woman's body, pregnancy and circumstances.
@moonlady-2 My due date was 1/6 and I was induced on 1/12. I didn't even dilate all the way by the end of my 30 hour labor. I'm pretty sure she would've stayed in there quite a while longer. The problem with that was I wasn't sure about my LMP and I never had a dating scan. I had a ton of issues with insurance and my first OB, so my second OB (switched at 23 weeks) stuck with my EDD. The reason she induced is because I had GD and she didn't want to risk anything.
@moonlady-2 I had an emergency csection 10 days early after going to the doctor because I wasn't feeling much movement from my son. I'm hoping to make it to my due date this time.
@moonlady-2 I was due 12/26 and they induced me 1/2. DD was born after 32 hours of labor - vacuum and forceps were used as a last measure before c-section as there was meconium. Luckily those worked and I didn't need the c-section but it was pretty scary as the NICU team was in the room with their cart in case she had an respiratory issues. I was born this exact same way and then my mom was also induced with my brother. So I really think it just varies so much person to person.
39+6. My husband has it in his mind this one will come early but I'm not so sure. My friend hopes it comes on its due date (Christmas Day) as a big old F-U to my crazy MIL who demands we get together for all 11 birthdays, Easter, Mother's Day, thanksgiving, Christmas, and at least one more time in there.
I am wondering....when did you all give birth in relation to your due date? I have heard first time moms are usually late.
My water broke at 39 weeks exactly and DS was born 39+1! My midwife was surprised because I 'seem like such an on-time person'! She expected him to come ON his due date haha
water broke at 37.5 weeks, then was induced as contractions didn't start on their own. A surprise but DD was already a healthy 6.5 lbs at that point!
when my water broke it wasn't a gush, more like little squirts (tmi: thought I was peeing myself) - telling FTMs so you don't think it is always like the movies!
My original due date was May 19, but it was later changed to May 12.
we conceived DD in a fertility clinic, so I knew the original due date would be more accurate.. but I was induced at 41 weeks (the exact day of my original due date) and had DD two days later.
So according to my new due date, I was 41w2d when DD was born. According to my original due date, I was 40w2d.
I was induced at 38w due to gestational hypertension and had DS at 38w1d. If that wasn't the case I am certain I would have gone over. I wasn't dilated or effaced and I was still carrying baby really high.
Another one: Was there any part of your pregnancy or birth experience you were totally naive about that you wished you knew the first time? Any regrets or something you'll do differently this time around?
Know when to trust yourself and your instincts, but also know when to trust & listen to the professional opinion of a doctor/nurse. I experienced 36 hours of back labor with DD. I was so determined to go drug-free but after 30 hours, my body stopped progressing. At that point my contractions were overlapping, and I was hyperventilating. I was being monitored for high blood pressure constantly, and the nurses kept recommending an epidural to help relax my body and lower my blood pressure. I kept refusing, but finally gave in at 33 hours. And I am SO thankful I finally did. My blood pressure went back down to normal, and I was able to relax and take a long nap, even through the strongest contractions. Before I knew it, I was fully dilated and ready to push. I am pretty convinced that my daughters birth would've ended in an emergency csection had I not taken the epidural. So I've already decided that with this next birth, if I experience the same kind of labor, to opt for the epidural a lot sooner. A safe birth is worth way more to me than my pride. I am in no way saying having an epidural is the only way to go, I believe if my body had continued to progress properly, I could've handled the pain and had the natural birth I was aiming for. But I do think it is important to stay open-minded when it comes to your birth plan, ask questions, and take advice when needed.
I have a question, but I'm not sure anyone would know... I have a fibroid that is not an issue (except that now that I know it's there, it bothers me). It's about the size of a golf ball and hangs off the front of my uterus. Has anyone had fibroids removed at the same time as a c-section?
I think, like many people, I'd prefer to delivery vaginally, but if I *can* have a myomectomy at the same time, I want to know and notify my doctor in case things don't progress as planned. "While you're in there..." kinda thing.
TCC since Feb 2013 No, I'm not an early bird, but that doesn't mean I'm a night owl.... I guess I'm an afternoon duck? Type A personality, Type B body First BFP with donor sperm 04/11/2017
With my first my water spontaneously broke at 36w4d without any dilation so I wash induced to start contractions. With my second I had PIO shots. My last shot was at 35 weeks and she didn't come until 39+5. I'm going to avoid the progesterone this time around.
Re: FTM Questions for STM+ 4/13
I wouldnt expect that at most practices. We do one at 8ish weeks, then anatomy scan at 18 - 20 weeks, then I always pay extra for the 3D US at around 32 weeks. That's pretty much it.
my doc might also do 12ish weeks, but I'm pretty sure that's just to get people a pretty picture for their announcements ;-) The 8 week baby is still a bit of a smudge.
I also wish someone would have told me about the uterine massage! I had to have it twice with my second son because I was bleeding so much and it was very painful. Just as painful as the transition period for me (I did vaginal births without pain meds for both boys).
@missbmama that is an excellent tip! I wish I had done this with DS, and definitely will be more "hands on" so to speak, this time around!
Married May 2014
DD born August 2016
Baby #2 due December 2017
Me: 28 DH: 35
Dx PCOS May 2015
Baby #1 due 12/7/17
Another thought for FTMs I went into early labor at 34 weeks until DS was born, so I constantly thought I might be inn actual labor because of having contractions and I was 4 cm dilated by 36 weeks. But trust me you WILL know when the real contractions start. I went into real labor at about 4 am the day before his due date and by 830 am on his due date I couldn't take the pain any more and we went to the hospital and sure enough I got to stay and he was born at 310. (Yes 36 hours of labor)
Also don't ever feel like a failure or ashamed if your birthplan doesn't happen exactly like you want it to. Babies and our bodies do their own thing during this time and you have to let go of your birthplan sometimes and do what's best in that moment and long run for baby and your body because your recovery is just as important.
And yes, they do it with c-sections too.
Together since May 19, 2001
Baby #1 was born in May 2013.
from Seattle(ish)
5 years married
FTM and PGAL
EDD is 12/23/17
-- It's a BOY! ---
I was 10 days early with my first after experiencing preterm labor at 34weeks that they were able to stall. My second came on his due date lol so I'm expecting this one to be late
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
Together since May 19, 2001
Baby #1 was born in May 2013.
when my water broke it wasn't a gush, more like little squirts (tmi: thought I was peeing myself) - telling FTMs so you don't think it is always like the movies!
Edited for clarification
we conceived DD in a fertility clinic, so I knew the original due date would be more accurate.. but I was induced at 41 weeks (the exact day of my original due date) and had DD two days later.
So according to my new due date, I was 41w2d when DD was born. According to my original due date, I was 40w2d.
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
I experienced 36 hours of back labor with DD. I was so determined to go drug-free but after 30 hours, my body stopped progressing. At that point my contractions were overlapping, and I was hyperventilating. I was being monitored for high blood pressure constantly, and the nurses kept recommending an epidural to help relax my body and lower my blood pressure. I kept refusing, but finally gave in at 33 hours. And I am SO thankful I finally did. My blood pressure went back down to normal, and I was able to relax and take a long nap, even through the strongest contractions. Before I knew it, I was fully dilated and ready to push. I am pretty convinced that my daughters birth would've ended in an emergency csection had I not taken the epidural. So I've already decided that with this next birth, if I experience the same kind of labor, to opt for the epidural a lot sooner. A safe birth is worth way more to me than my pride.
I am in no way saying having an epidural is the only way to go, I believe if my body had continued to progress properly, I could've handled the pain and had the natural birth I was aiming for. But I do think it is important to stay open-minded when it comes to your birth plan, ask questions, and take advice when needed.
I think, like many people, I'd prefer to delivery vaginally, but if I *can* have a myomectomy at the same time, I want to know and notify my doctor in case things don't progress as planned. "While you're in there..." kinda thing.
No, I'm not an early bird, but that doesn't mean I'm a night owl.... I guess I'm an afternoon duck?
Type A personality, Type B body
First BFP with donor sperm 04/11/2017