1st Trimester

No modesty during delivery?

I am delivering soon, and I find some of the stories from moms who have already been through this, very hard to believe, especially from baby boomer aged women , in regards to the lack of privacy and modesty. 

First of all, what are male custodians and food deliverers doing going in and out of the room without knocking while you are undressed? I am surprised so many of you claim you were okay with that. 

Second of all, as far as medical staff goes, they should be getting your permission before letting students come in and watch. And in regards to the actual medical people who are already staff, why do extra people need to hang out in there if they aren't doing anything? Like the anesthesiologist for instance?

I am just alarmed by how so many of you claim that modesty isn't respected and that you don't care one bit during or after. What do you mean you don't care one bit? Are you ready to walk naked into Wal-Mart now that you have experienced birth? 

A couple other people have said they were completely naked from the waste down during the entire c section operation? Really? Why is that necessary? Your private area doesn't need to be exposed during that operation. Other people have said they were rolled through hallways without being completely covered by their gowns.

I am very anxious about everything as a first time mom to be, and I am a little tired of the insensitive comments from older women about how anybody has a right to come in while I am delivering and that I won't care anyways. Seriously?

 Most of the women who I know who have given birth don't come across to me as the types who are free spirited about their nudity all of a sudden,  other than in women's locker rooms, so I find these stories hard to believe. If these stories are true, then the medical field is full of insensitive perverts and we should be speaking out about it more. Is there any sort of procedure men go through where their privacy is ignored? When did giving birth become a public spectacle? It wasn't for most of history.
hr1116

Re: No modesty during delivery?

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  • Well to clarify again, I was only basing my above assumptions on what I have seen over and over again on these types of forums. I have seen a bunch of bizarre claims made...hence my angry and confused tone. The tone in your response reiterated my whole point about insensitive comments I have received from women who are already moms. A lot of women are extremely modest before giving birth, not knowing what to expect when it is our first time. What is wrong with us asking about it? Sorry I ever did.

    You answered all my questions (thank you) but you also assumed I was complaining about more than I really was. If custodians and food people knock before coming in after delivery then that is wonderful and I have no issue. I was obviously concerned about them NOT knocking during inappropriate times based on other accounts I have read. Maybe some of these moms exaggerate their experiences.

    In regards to the students, I didn't say I was upset if the doctor asked you first about them being there. But I have heard stories from older women where they woke up to find 12 students lined up watching while they are laying there spread eagle and they were completely unaware of it and weren't asked permission. I found that alarming and absurd.

    As for the medical staff in there, I have read accounts about how "20 different people filed in and out of the room while I was giving birth" and unless it was an extreme emergency, I found that number a bit over the top, especially if the mom wasn't warned in advance going into it, since the doctor usually knows if it is going to be a serious procedure. I was by no means complaining about a few nurses and the doctor being in there, and I also have no issue with a nurse helping a mom use the bathroom.

    I said "if the stories I hear are true" then medical staff are uncaring perverts. I didn't say they were for sure. I wanted to get some answers first on the matter. 




    hr1116
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  • this surely has to be mud
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  • AMCsquaredAMCsquared member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    edited April 15
    **Removed for TOU violation**

    I get that you're basically saying you're scared for that part of the labor. And I get that. It's a lot of unknowns and a major medical procedure.
    Most of my friends said they were topless and that part bothers me so I plan to wear a sports bra or some type of light top. 
    Me: 31  DH: 32      <3 DH since 12.2009       Married 08.2013       EDD 12.2017
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  • I can understand from a certain point where you're coming from. Although I wouldn't consider the staff in charge of helping with deliveries a bunch of perverts (although is not impossible for some individuals).  I think as another person posted, they became desensitized to what is considered a private area as they are so accustomed to seeing it for medical purposes. I also doubt many people would find that area attractive while is bloody,  possibly pooping, and pushing a screaming baby out. 

     That being said, I did have a male nurse or something enter on my during labor which did upset me. He only came in to have me sign a paper and I can't think of why they couldn't send in a woman. In their defense I don't think I was particularly stern on the no males in the rim although I'm pretty sure it was mentioned at least once for religious reasons.  I normally cover head to toe in front of men who aren't immediate family members so I had to choose between covering my hair or my lady parts which were spread eagle. I chose the later. I wasn't getting any procedures or medicine so I didn't see any waiver as urgent since I was already a pre-registered patient.  He knocked and immediately entered without permission to enter. To me that's not much different than entering with no warning or permission whatsoever.  

    I was asked if I minded having students in the room and I believe I only allowed the one female student to stay who was there already. For some reason I can't  remember if she actually stayed.  I knew it was an important experience for students and I was already embarrassed by being exposed to my MIL, the nurses and the midwife. One more female student didn't make much of a difference.  If there was more than one student i wouldn't have consented.  Other than the one male that entered I had no other men see me while I was in labor or delivery. 

    I really only had lots of people coming in and out of my room after I delivered and was transferred to my own room.  Once there they all knocked before entering (although still often without waiting for permission), but males would wait for permission.  You would need to request this of this hospital though if you want male staff to request to enter. 
    AMCsquared
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  • I understand your concern, I like my privacy. I was able to okay all the people allowed in my room. No one entered without knocking and I had a curtain in front of my door. The nudity during delivery is kinda something you can't get around. Sorry. But calm down, and just talk with your doc about your concerns
    AMCsquaredPrimRoseMama
  • KLake42KLake42 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    If I have a c-section, I'll be more concerned about exposures of my internal organs.

    I don't share your anxiety, but I've had my own issues with anxiety. I hope you find that things aren't as rough as you fear.
    Me- 39 (turning 40 in April), TTC for the first time ever (since Jan 2015), low ovarian reserve
    Married 3/14/14 to my wonderful wife, but her sperm count is rather low
    TTC with frozen donor sperm and science

    7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
    2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
    Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
    Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!  
    fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP! 
    Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)

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  • edited July 26
    Somehow I am simultaneously put off by both this post and the responding comments. Lol

    Your tone just really set people off, and I can see why, but some of the responses are heavy on the snark.

    I feel like you're scared to death of delivery and you're choosing to make this what you obsess over. I did the same thing before Marine Corps bootcamp: I was so freaked out about shared showers. Guess what? I isn't give a crap about that in the end,  and I wager neither will you.

    Edited to make my comment actually make sense. Haha 


  • I'm sure you've given birth by now, hopefully easily and smoothly. 

    In regards to the c section commen: the vagina cannot be covered because the incision is so low and the surrounding skin needs to remain sterile. Medical professionals are not doing this job to be perverted, nor do they ogle your goods or care what you look like. 

    When I was being induced it was only DH, my nurse and my OB until my son's cord became compressed, then it seemed like there were 100 people in the room. Did I mention I delivered in hospital where I worked? I knew literally every person in the room, my OB had her entire hand in my vagina up to her wrist and I was wheeled (ran) to the OR with my OB riding on the bed with her hand in my business to keep my son off his cord. In the moment I didn't give a flying eff. 
    kiki75ChaoticWolfBusinessWife
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  • Oh, ffs. The medicalization of birth IS impersonal and intrusive, and many women have described the trauma they suffered from callous doctors or nurses who scoffed at their concerns or outright refused to honor their instructions and wishes about even small things during a normal delivery. There have even been studied that indicate the constant intrusion of strangers and obsessing over every reading - and epidurals - can stall the progression of labor requiring further painful interventions. If anyone is reading this and wants a more private, intimate birth experience where they feel more in-control, consider a birth center and midwife for a low-risk delivery.
    ivyvines6
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  • Thanks for continuing to resurrect it while being sarcastic and aggressive so you can get on your high horse instead of addressing the initial question posed. Educate yourself about birth in other developed countries, their lower maternal mortality and C-section rates, better health outcomes and less-intrusive practices (including midwife delivery for all but high-risk pregnancies) before lionizing the American system, which like you claims to do everything "for the sake of their health" but has the worst health outcomes for mother and baby in the developed world.
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