Cautious Hello w/Spontaneous Update

zantster

Hello,

I'd like to join you ladies if that's ok.  You can see the long journey me and DH have been on thus far in my signature.  I've popped on and off of here with hopes up and then heart broken from two losses.  Now, I am popping back on here after taking two tests that confirmed a spontaneous BFP.  I am in utter shock that after 3 1/2 years of charting, scheduling, OPKing, FETs, IUIs, PGS, Clomid, Femara, and more meds than I can shake a stick at we get a BFP during the one month where we DTD no more than twice and I couldn't tell you what dates those were if I tried.  

I'd finally made peace with whatever was going to happen and bam!  I'm not going to say it was all stress and all I needed was to relax, which I find effing offensive when implied.  Because I just had a robotic myomectomy a few months ago and it could very well have been that the fibroids were blocking our progress all along.

So right now here we are.  All we can do is take one day at a time.  Since I know that tomorrow is not promised.  And after years of emotional and mental strain I don't want to obsess too much.  I'm taking prenatals but probably won't go see a doctor for a few weeks unless necessary.  I trust that the positive sticks and no AF are right.  And I just want to chill and see how things go.

DH is visibly happy but feels the same about not getting too hyped up before some time passes.  Thankfully, family who we usually have to travel abroad to see will be coming to see us this year coincidentally.  So, assuming all goes well we would be able to tell our loved ones in person when they get here.
Thanks for letting me join and a H & H 9 mos. to all.

byrneme

Welcome and congratulations on the BFP! Wishing you nothing but the best. Will your doctor do betas for you?

zantster

@byrneme Thank you so much for the well wishes.  That's a good question!  I don't think my RE would do betas since it hasn't been a part of a monitored process.  I believe I would just go to whatever obstetrician we end up choosing.  But I'm in no rush.  What will be will be.  For the first time in years I'm just enjoying the moment and not focusing on the what ifs or what's next.  I have faith that all will be well.  But over the next couple weeks, I'll do some research and eventually make an appointment.  How are you feeling with your LO?

carterh33

Congrats and welcome! Taking it one day at a time is all we can do! 

2legbaby

Congrats and hoping that you have a happy and healthy 9 months! 

byrneme

Amazing outlook @zantster! Getting that first OB appointment, at least in my experience, is harder since they take more time so call and make it soon. Then you have a date to look forward too cheers to feeling great, emotionally and physically!!


AFM- I'm feeling great here at 24.5 weeks. Insanely lucky. I have a friend who said that anyone who goes through all the struggles of IF deserves an easy pregnancy and I'm on board with that. I wish you the same!

ARB425

@zantster Congratulations! You have an amazing outlook on things..I love it!

 It never hurts to ask your RE if they will do betas on you or monitor you until you can see an OB. I know mine told us if we became pregnant during our testing period she would still follow me because she would want me on progesterone and would want to monitor the pregnancy for at least 10 weeks til I could see the OB. 

kdanjou

congrats and good luck!  Hope this will be your take home baby!

zantster

Thanks @carterh33, @kdanjou, @ARB425, @2legbaby, @byrneme.  God knows I wasn't always this chill about things.  I was an obsessive, emotional mess a lot of the time.  And eventually it just go to be plain ol' exhausting.  

I will take your advice @byrneme and @ARB425.  I'll email the RE nurse about betas and progesterone.  And I'll see about making an OB appointment ahead of time.  Because like you said it could be a while to get in to see one when I'm ready.  

If anyone else has more advice let me know.  I sure as heck have a lot to learn.  Have a good weekend and enjoy the weather!

tvh1982

Congratulations! What a wonderful news!
I love spontaneous BFP! 
Agree with the above, see if your RE wants to do an early check, if of course you want this. 
Mine to would be open for that, and as my OB knew I was trying I was on the 'priority list' for a beta (they normally don't do the latter, BFP on a POAS is enough, but they make exceptions.

I do hope, and I'm sorry if I cross a line here, that you being 'chill' is you being chill and not the 'I don't want to do the checkups as it's gone wrong before'. 
As if it's the latter, and again, I'm sorry if a cross a line, do talk about that. As it would be a shame if you deny yourself some of the experience and check ups that you would have loved to do.

wifeinraleigh28

Welcome and congratulations! I love your relaxed outlook at this point. You're absolutely right that what will be, will be. Trust and have faith, since your body is in charge now. I hope that all ends up working well for you and that this is your little miracle!

zantster

@tvh1982 I'm not the easily offended type so no worries.  You didn't cross a line.  And I appreciate the concern. We're definitely looking forward to the checkups.  But based on our previous experience and lessons learned we don't think there's much to be done for at least a few weeks.  I've had a loss both while on progesterone, which only delayed the completion of the MC process as well as without progesterone.  So, we feel like nothing can stop whatever the future may bring.  

I'm taking my prenatals and I took the advice of you and other ladies here and made an appt. with an OB for May 8.  That's actually a few weeks sooner than I requested because they did want me to come in a bit sooner than someone with no losses.  But they didn't think I needed to come in right away. They just said call them if I need them.  So, that's what we'll do.  If there are any issues we'll give them a call. Otherwise, we are embracing it the way people did back in the day like my MIL says and just living life without overthinking everything.

@wifeinraleigh28 Thanks!  You hit the nail on the head.  I'm definitely listening to my body and feeling very positive about this time around.  Third time's the charm!  I feel healthy.  I'm not having major cramping or bleeding.  And I want to minimize any potential stress.  Since, I think stress can have negative effects.  I think it helps that me and DH had already decided before this BFP that while we would love children we would be happy no matter what.  That has helped us not be super anxious about things now.

babylonghorn16

@zantster I remember you from the infertility board - CONGRATS! So happy to hear of your success! I think you have a great attitude. You're in my thoughts!

tvh1982

Im very happy to read that. 
You have an amazing strong attitude! 
Keep that baby cooking. Still very happy to read about a spontaneous little blessing! This post just makes me happy

peregrinefalconx

Congrats! The whole spontaneous pregnancy after so much is crazy.... enjoy, rest, and oh yeah, glow!

Good luck to you and thanks for inspiring me to actually stop the progesterone tomorrow (at 10w) instead of neurotically taking it longer. My butt can't take it anymore. 

zantster

Hiiiiiii!!! I remember you as well @babylonghorn16  Congrats on the upcoming arrival of your LO.  I'm super happy for you.  It has special meaning to me when people who experience IF finally get their THB.  

zantster

@peregrinefalconx Congrats to you too!  That's awesome that you're preggers again.  I laughed out loud when I read what you said about the progesterone.  That whole process was definitely my least favorite part!  It was definitely a shocker when I POAS and saw the positive result.  DH thought AF's absence was probably due to stress.  I thought it could go either way but refused to test before CD31 just to be sure.  I was hopeful though since I knew I hadn't been that late since we thought we had an oops BFP while dating like 5 years ago, which we didn't.  I'm glad that I could be one to report a spontaneous pregnancy.  Since I always found them inspiring when I browsed these boards.  Particularly, since I'll be 39 in September and used to practically hyperventilate over age stats after I passed 35.  So, I hope some will see this and though we've got a long way to go before the finish line at least maybe it'll help give reassurance that it can happen when least expected.