April Mental Health Check In

SpongeWorthy

This is a place for people who are struggling with mental health issues.  Feel free to vent, share concerns, ask questions, share successes - whatever you need.

How are you feeling?

Are you currently seeking treatment?

What's something you are looking forward to this month?

GTKY: In honor of spring, what's your favorite flower?

tuxielove93

How are you feeling? Good. Still have SAD, which normally goes away by now. It got kind of messed up this year with 70 degrees in February followed by the biggest snowstorm we've ever seen and a cold March that followed. So it's still hanging around. Went away, came back. Oh well. It should fade at some point, and it's starting to at least be in the 60's. If I could just get into some shorts I might start doing better. And if it would be sunny as well. Other than that, the regular depression and anxiety are doing pretty well. Mini panic attack last night, but it wasn't really bad, and I caught it early, so some DH snuggles fixed it. The regular depression has been gone for the last week or so.

Are you currently seeking treatment? No, but I do a lot of self treatment. I've noticed that if I can keep myself busy, with plans with other people and things to do, I do 100 times better than just empty lonely days. I have high hopes that having kids will keep me very occupied as well. Anyways, I have a cleaning schedule going, and have a ton planned for the month to keep me occupied. Plus I'm looking to make my own Boppy (for tummy time and so people can hold him better), a quilt for the baby (toddler sized) and some Easter decorations. 

What's something you are looking forward to this month? Baby shower! Wish it was sooner, but it's at the end of the month. Also have another appointment, GD test that I'm both dreading and looking forward to. Don't want to take the test, want to make sure I don't have GD. Anemia test too, which I'm really hoping comes back good. I've paid a lot of attention to iron, and I'm hoping its working. Also two Easter parties, a lunch with an old friend the end of the week, a La Leche meeting, Mario Kart coming out at the end of the month, and my MILs birthday to get ready for. I'm making her a "grandma starter kit", so I finally get to do some baby shopping. I'm holding off on getting my own stuff until after the shower. The drive in theater near me is also opening next weekend, so DH and I will be having lots of date nights up there! Plus, finally entering the third trimester! EEK! 

GTKY: In honor of spring, what's your favorite flower? Tulips I guess. I really don't have much of a preference. 

MrsLa3

How are you feeling? Stressed and anxious 

Are you currently seeking treatment? No, I talked to my ob about being super anxious at my last appt 2 weeks ago and he blew it off. He was more concerned about my blood sugar. 

What's something you are looking forward to this month? My birthday! It's next Monday!

GTKY: In honor of spring, what's your favorite flower? My favorites are sunflowers and daisies.

clio

How are you feeling? It's been a weird week in terms of symptoms. I had moments where my heart was racing and I was physically anxious but not mentally/emotionally. I spoke to my OBGYN and we are monitoring it, but it feels similar to a panic attack. I'm hoping that's not the case.

Are you currently seeking treatment? Yes, same plan throughout my pregnancy.

What's something you are looking forward to this month? I will be taking a weekend trip to the beach this month with my daughter, sister, and nephew. Can't wait!

GTKY: In honor of spring, what's your favorite flower? Poppies, for sure.

Dovahkiin_99

@MrsLa3 that's horrible that your ob blew off your concerns about anxiety. He should be taking that seriously because it effects your well-being. Any chance there's another professional you can talk to? I'm starting group therapy for prenatal anxiety next week, maybe there's something like that where you live? 

@kerils The weather effects my mood as well. It's been raining more than usual this year and I'm dying for a sustained period of sunshine. That snow you guys got was brutal! Hope you feel better soon!

Dovahkiin_99

How are you feeling? 

Better since being back on my anti-depressants, I'm handling situations much better and not obsessing so much over minor stressors.

Are you currently seeking treatment?

Yes, I'm seeing a psychiatrist at the Reproductive Mental Health Centre who's going to monitor my progress through and after my pregnancy, and starting a prenatal anxiety cognitive therapy group next week. I'm so excited to learn new tools for dealing with anxiety!

What's something you are looking forward to this month?

Time off​ for Easter. I'm not religious, but I love spending time with my family and eating all the Easter candy! 

GTKY: In honor of spring, what's your favorite flower?

**Possible TW**

Daffodils because they remind me of my dad. He passed away from cancer 7 years ago and he wore a little daffodil in his hat because it represents the Canadian Cancer Society. The society raises money and supports individuals living with cancer, and is near and dear to my heart. 

MrsLa3

@Dovahkiin_99 I'll have to look into it. I'm also going to bring it up again at my appointment tomorrow, and I'm really going to push it. I have horrible anxiety anyway, and my previous OB was aware of it. I had PPD really bad and it makes me nervous I'm going to go back into that depression. 

SpongeWorthy

@kerils I hope the weather takes a turn for the better for you!  You'll have to share photos of your craft projects when they are done.  I've been meaning to look for crochet patterns for a baby blanket, but I haven't done it yet.

@MrsLa3 Oh I'm so sorry you are feeling stressed.  It is really not okay that your doctor is blowing off your concerns.  I hope your appointment tomorrow goes better.  And happy early birthday!

@Clio I'm sorry you are having panic attack symptoms.  I hope it resolves for you quickly.

@Dovahkiin_99 I'm glad to hear you are excited to start group therapy soon!  That is such a touching story about your dad.  The daffodils are starting to bloom around here, and I'll be thinking of you.

How are you feeling?  I'm feeling pretty good today.  The weather is getting warmer and this baby is dancing up a storm!

Are you currently seeking treatment?  I got a referral from my nurse coordinator for a therapist.  DH and I think it's a good idea to talk to someone before all the stress starts to build up.  We need to develop coping strategies.  The therapist she recommended is a former genetic counselor, so he has insight into what we are going through.

What's something you are looking forward to this month?  We leave for our babymoon next Friday!!!!

GTKY: In honor of spring, what's your favorite flower? I LOVE flowers.  I have a special affinity for lilacs, roses, and orchids.  I'm thinking of planting a lilac bush to honor this little baby

LarkSparkle

@MrsLa3 I'm sorry that you are feeling this way and that you aren't being heard by your docs at the moment. That's really crappy and must be frustrating. It sounds like you're taking a proactive approach though, and making sure you have the right support!

@dovahkiin_99 I'm glad the meds are helping

Feeling? Pretty good right now. Generally I've been in "doing" mode which has kept me distracted and feeling less anxious. I agree with you @kerils, sometimes keeping a certain kind of busy can be helpful. 

We're waiting to close on the apartment we just bought which is a super anxiety inducing, because we're kicked out of our rental at the end of the month. Trying to stay positive and chill about it... with mixed success.

Treatment? Same as usual, weekly therapy. Have been going to yoga which I also find therapeutic. Not doing much else at the moment, just trying to be kind to myself I guess.

Something to look forward to? Having a hard time seeing past this moving thing, so look forward to that progressing. Looking forward to sunnier days here, the wintertime darkness can be so harsh.

Flowers? Daffodils! They pop up everywhere in my neighbourhood this time of year and they're such a happy flower to look at! 

Dovahkiin_99

@SpongeWorthy That's great that you found a therapist that has a deeper understanding of what you and your husband are going through. Good call on learning coping strategies early rather than waiting for the stress to build. Where are you guys going for your babymoon?

@LarkSparkle Big purchases can be such a huge source of stress! I can't imagine what it's like to close a deal on real estate (we're not quite there yet), but we need to purchase a new car since both of us have 2 seaters. It'll be my car that we upgrade since I'll be on maternity leave with the baby, but honestly the thought of selling my stupid car and buying a different one has been the single biggest stressor of this pregnancy. I hope all goes well with closing the deal! It'll be fun to move into your new place 

satsumasandlemons

@Dovahkiin_99 that's a sweet and beautiful memory of your dad - sorry for your loss. 

@MrsLa3 - that's frustrating and i went through something similar at my 6 week pp check up - the ob gyn filling in for mine kind of just blew me off and said to take vitamin d supplements. i wish i had pursued it a bit more. thanks for reminding me though, i have a dr appt today and will bring it up as a concern

How are you feeling?
good overall - i'm hoping to see if i can get some physical therapy or something for my back and hips, but mentally, i'm just going through a lot of shit at work and trying to get my daughter some help as well - i had read horror stories about body image and mean girl crap starting in kindergarten but honestly didn't think it would happen to us  

Are you currently seeking treatment?
I just met with a new therapist this past sunday so all we did was intake but looking forward to working with her. 


What's something you are looking forward to this month?
um. hmm. i was looking forward to seeing radiohead at coachella and going to disneyland but kind of dreading it now. i feel so trapped at work right now with the pg and what's going on i can't seem to shake it off. 

GTKY: In honor of spring, what's your favorite flower?
i am not a cut flower person but i do love blooming trees i guess - my parents live in hawaii so the hibiscus flowers are always something we love to stop and collect and i absolutely love cherry blossom season in japan. 

MrsLa3

Just an update, my OB was in a rush today, he had someone training with him. First, she couldn't find a HB which really annoyed me and bc she was pushing down really hard and it didn't feel good. I did tell him that I was feeling a bit more anxious and called in a script which i have no idea what he told me it was and we can re-evaluate at my next appointment in 3 weeks at my 30 week check up. I also told him about my shaking and he said it sounded like a blood sugar related issue and advised me to start checking my blood sugar more frequently.

SpongeWorthy

@Dovahkiin_99 We are going to southern California!  We will spend a week doing our own thing and then meet up with friends in San Diego for a wedding.  Can't wait!

@MrsLa3 That is disappointing that your OB rushed you.  So the script he wrote is to help with your anxiety?  I would definitely call back before your next appointment if it's not getting better.  Maybe you can talk to a different on-call doctor who will be more receptive.  I hope you can get the help you need.  Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need to vent/bitch/ask advice in the meantime.  That's what this thread is for!

MrsLa3

@SpongeWorthy yes, I still haven't gone to pick it up, I'm sending DH when he gets out of class. I know Tuesdays are his surgery days, he's never really rushed before so maybe that had something to do with it.

SpongeWorthy

How are we feeling this week, ladies?  Calling @kerils @MrsLa3 @clio @Dovahkiin_99 @LarkSparkle @satsumasandlemons

I finally was brave enough to pick up the phone and schedule my first therapy session for early May.  I have such a hard time getting started with that stuff.

@MrsLa3 How was your birthday??

tuxielove93

Pretty good actually! Had a great weekend, and have kept up with being productive, and very few issues with depression or anxiety. I woke up to clouds and then stepped on a scale this morning. A little down after that, but I've kept myself busy, I've still been cleaning, and I'm going shopping for baby stuff this afternoon! Oh, and here are the Easter decorations I made last week

SpongeWorthy

@Kerils Glad you are feeling good!  Nicer weather certainly helps.  Your decorations are too cute.  I like the holiday mash-up with the snowmen string lights

tuxielove93

@SpongeWorthy lol I always forget they're there. I just leave the lights on the walls so I have them in case I want to turn them on for any parties. Now that you mention it I realize how weird it is to have snowmen and bunnies on the same door frame. 

LarkSparkle

Thanks for the tag @SpongeWorthy - I was just wondering how others here were feeling!

Loving your decoration @kerils - they're so cute! Glad you're feeling good this week.

@SpongeWorthy Great news about therapy, it's so hard to get started and sometimes to keep going - but it's worth it! It's great that you've taken that step

I've been feeling super anxious. Things aren't progressing with our new apartment, and we're definitely breaking our lease at the end of this month. If things don't resolve with the new place by the end of next week, we'll be moving into temporary accommodation (like an Air B&B).

Since we don't know where to order things to and we don't want to have to pay to move more stuff, we haven't bought anything for the baby yet. Crib, diapers, nada. Just a few clothing items. 

I'm at 29 weeks and the nesting instinct is strong. I'm telling myself babies don't  need much, and we can always Amazon Prime or borrow from friends. I will probably pack a hospital bag soon as a bare minimum, just to be ready. Otherwise, it's really hard to prepare for anything or keep my cool about all of this.

Thanks for the space to vent ladies. I feel like people IRL are not understanding how anxiety inducing this all is. 

clio

@SpongeWorthy Thanks for checking in! I really appreciate the thread. Good for you in scheduling an appointment! I always find that to be the hardest part for some reason.

@kerils Those decorations are awesome! I wish I could pull something like that off.

@LarkSparkle I'm so sorry your life is so chaotic right now. Your situation hit close to home- we moved two weeks after DD was born and I never felt like I got to "nest." FWIW, if I could do it over again, I would embrace the nesting instinct and get things prepped for baby, even if it meant moving more things down the road. You're absolutely correct that babies don't need much, but it might make YOU feel better. 

This week my work situation got to me. The budget of my institution is not doing great, and my position there is more precarious than I ever expected. I moved my family across the country to take this job and I dread the thought of doing that again, especially since DH and DD are so happy here. I hate living with the uncertainty.

LarkSparkle

@clio Thank you!! I'm sorry this happened to you, but I'm happy to hear it worked out OK for you in the end. It's good to hear that others have done this before. I may take your advice and start getting some things together. Maybe I can get deliveries at my office and start a nest there

I'm really sorry about your job situation. I have felt this as well before working in the charity sector. It's not a good feeling when you don't have visibility for your role, never mind adding maternity leave to the mix. I hope things change in your favor, or a new and even better solution presents itself soon.

SpongeWorthy

@LarkSparkle Sorry about the apartment situation.  When we were trying to buy our house, I remember sitting in my car and crying outside the bank because of how stressful it was.  I can't imagine doing that while pregnant - you are so strong!  I think you are right that babies really don't need very much, but I totally understand the drive to nest.  Storing the stuff at work temporarily sounds fine to me   FX things get sorted out soon!

@clio Oh that work situation sounds super stressful.  I hope things stabilize for you soon.  Does your DH work or does he stay home with your DD?  I want to get my resume up to date and apply to some jobs while I'm on maternity leave and I am already dreading it.

Dovahkiin_99

@SpongeWorthy Thanks for bumping the thread I'm glad to here you took the first step, that's often the hardest part. 

@kerils Cute bunnies, I like they're little fluff tails!

@LarkSparkle I hope the issues with your apartment get resolved soon. Thank goodness for Amazon Prime that can deliver within 24 hours. 

@clio My place of work is going through something similar, except its all hearsay and the higher-ups aren't telling us anything about the state of our finances. Some info trickles out of the finance department and it doesn't sound good. I hope everything works out for your job, it sounds like you put a lot of work into getting there. 

My week has been pretty good and my anxiety has been (so far) kept in check. I've been extremely busy, with prenatal classes on Monday, glucose test yesterday, getting the car fixed today, and a long meeting I'm presenting at tomorrow. The reproductive mental health group therapy sessions were supposed to start today but they got postponed. I'm kind of happy that they were cancelled tonight because this week is crazy enough. I'm looking forward to the long weekend, putting the finishing touches on my car, and getting it appraised for a trade-in next week. Baby steps. 

BabyBump2

How are you feeling? Stressed, anxious, sad

Are you currently seeking treatment? I would if I could get an OB to sit down long enough with me. So irritating, I haven't seen the same doctor more than twice this whole pregnancy. 

What's something you are looking forward to this month? Starting my transition of leaving the Army I start my leave on the 21st and will officially be out May 12th

GTKY: In honor of spring, what's your favorite flower? Lily's, for sure. 

stokesm21

I hope it's okay to deviate from the original questions...  
**TW***

I had a scare this morning. So I had this stupid dream last night (not the first) that I was going to the washroom and when I went to wipe myself it was all blood. When DH was getting ready for work this morning we cuddled for a minute and I said to him, "I keep dreaming that I lose her." Well I woke up with cramps this morning. Not here and there cramps, these were consistent, period-like cramps. I know that it's not necessarily abnormal but I was a bit creeped out. Went to the washroom and was SO scared to wipe myself but everything was okay. I knew I had a Dr's appointment and was just eager to get there and hear her heartbeat.  She used to move pretty much all day but the past 3 days I've barely felt her during the day and only a few kicks at night. 

So I go to the Dr, take my pee test, get weighed and head into the room. Secretary comes in and tells her there was traces of urine and something else in my blood and does my Dr want it sent to the lab, she says yes. Then I was freaked out and told her about the cramping. She gave me this look... Anyways so she checked my BP then laid me down and checked LO's heart rate too. Everything seemed normal. Asked me about my urinating habits, the cramping, the movement etc. Then she told me it was probably nothing to worry about but that she was going to call the OB on call at the hospital I'm delivering at, just to be sure. So I'm waiting and she comes back and sits down beside me, rubs my back and tells me it's going to be okay and that it could be anything. Bladder infection, kidney stones etc. but that they want me to go for a non-stress test just to make sure. After the dream I had it took everything in me to not burst out in tears in that moment. So off to the hospital I went. I had to cancel my chiro appointment which was not ideal because my hips have been particularly sore this week. Anyways they got me all hooked up and of COURSE she's starts moving like a freaking fish. In the end, everything was okay. They checked my cervix, said it's still hard/closed and she's still up high.  They also made me do a urine test and said they wouldn't get results back for 2 days but that they wanted to start me on antibiotics for a bladder infection just in case. 

So I'm back home with still pretty constant, but manageable cramping, just glad everything is okay. It seems stupid now but I was so freaking scared waiting to get to the hospital and get all hooked up. I too have an anxiety disorder so that was just through the roof. Anyways, I just needed to come on here and vent it all out. Ugh. 

tuxielove93

@stokesm21 I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. I'm glad your home, and FX for good lab results. 

@BabyBump2 It annoys me to no freaking end that every practice I went to (three total, including my current one) that I never had the same doctor. I thought it was going to happen with my midwife practice finally, but nope. I just happened to get her twice. At first I was really upset because she was amazing the first time, but now I'm happy because she was actually pretty terrible the second. I get the whole rotation thing, but I really want one doctor with one philosophy and who knows me and my issues and knows what I want to give birth with. I hate that it's random. Hate hate hate it, but there's nothing more I can do about it. 

@Dovahkiin_99 Thanks! They're cotton balls. 

@LarkSparkle I hope everything works out with the apartment! I'm not really nesting either because we're planning to move soon after LO, and it makes me so sad I'm starting to think about setting up a nursery just for my sanity. My pregnancy brain and my practical brain are duking it out at the moment. And @clio I hope everything works out with your job! Such big stressful things to be worrying about with a baby on the way. 

@SpongeWorthy Yay for setting up the appointment! I am absolutely horrific at calling people. I should have called my midwifes' office 2 weeks ago to fix my glucose test time. Now that I know I don't have to do it that way, I need to call back and arrange for me to test another way...... and it's been three days. And I still haven't called. 

BabyMama4Life

How are you feeling?j
Dealing with some depression and anxiety.  DH and I are both unemployed.  We're living off of savings and his unemployment $$.  Cried a bit on Saturday and again Wednesday.  Saw my therapist yesterday.

Are you currently seeking treatment?
Yes.  Saw my therapist yesterday.  She was really sweet and had me name my fears to get them out of my circular thoughts.  I'm also going to talk to my psychiatrist about upping my meds.  She mentioned that we may need to up them considering the extreme increase in blood volume could dilute the current Rx.

What's something you are looking forward to this month?
Possibly going to visit my bff in Arizona.  Some bff time and lounging by the pool sound amazing right now.

GTKY: In honor of spring, what's your favorite flower?
I love dahlias.  So many varieties:  colors, shapes, sizes.  

Poppyseed72017

@stokesm21 I'm sorry to hear about the scare. I've had that very same dream and have had cramping after waking which is really scary. Even more so when you suffer from anxiety. I hate that dream and sometimes I wake up thinking I feel wet between my legs. It paralyzes me in bed for some time and takes so much courage just to get to the restroom to check. I'm glad to hear that things are looking good for you and LO. 

@SpongeWorthy so glad you took the first step to seeing someone. 

@BabyBump2 I hate having a doctor tha doesn't get to know you personally. I see the same doctor each visit but she doesn't make me feel comfortable or at ease as of lately. I feel like she has too many patients and she has just started bringing in interns into every visit which feels weird. I have my OB and 2 students at each visit in the room. It's annoying and I am anxious about delivering now. 

BabyBump2

@Poppyseed72017 My last pregnancy I had the same doctor up until my delivery. I feel like that's not really how military OB clinics works. I also had a student doctor. He was pretty great actually, only because he wasn't set in his ways, and was willing to try whatever to help me! Everyone is always so scared of student doctors, but I had a great one, actually. I hope that everything works out for you!!