Prayers & Faith April Check-In

TravelingCouple

I figured monthly check-ins are probably good enough!


Welcome! This is a thread where you are free to come and express your anger, frustration, venting, questioning, praise, prayers and anything else in a safe space. We are all in different places in our TTC journey and in our faith as well. This is where you can come and find others who may be feeling similar to how you are in your walk of faith, and hopefully find some inspiration and peace. 

You do not have to be a Christian or believer to post/comment in this thread. All are welcome (obviously, it's a public forum. But I felt the need to state this anyway).

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Do you have a verse that speaks to you or encourages you that you'd like to share?

How are you feeling in general (can be regarding your faith, or not)?

Do you have any praise or encouragement to share with others?

Any prayer requests?

GTKY: If you celebrate, do you have an Easter traditions? Plans for Easter this year?

ali_gator11

Do you have a verse that speaks to you or encourages you that you'd like to share?
Genesis 16- The Story of Sarai and Hagar
It's quite long but my favorite line is: 

And Sarai said to Abram, “Behold now, the LORD has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it may be that I shall obtain children1 by her.”

How are you feeling in general (can be regarding your faith, or not)?
I'm feeling kinda lost lately. I'm having a really good day followed by a severely depressed day. All week that's been the cycle. Tried very hard to tell myself I could turn today around and not be down, but it's not working. 

Do you have any praise or encouragement to share with others?
The journey should not be gone on alone. Learn to lean on your SO, and if you find you can't lean on them, toss 'em to the curb I'm half joking about that. 

Any prayer requests?
No, I'm alright. 

GTKY: If you celebrate, do you have an Easter traditions? Plans for Easter this year?

My DW's side of the family does a big egg hunt and dinner. This will be our first year with a child old enough to participate and everyone is very excited. 

(Sorry about formatting, I'm on the app on my phone and it's not letting me out of a quote.)

TravelingCouple

@ali_gator11 I'm sorry you've been feeling so down and depressed. I know how that feels. And I agree about leaning on SO/DH. This is already an isolating process as it is, my DH has helped me through some tough time. When I felt like I needed more, I went to a therapist. I'm still seeing her..although I'm not all too thrilled or connected her, but it does still help to vent.

Do you have a verse that speaks to you or encourages you that you'd like to share?
Came across this Psalm the other day..


How are you feeling in general (can be regarding your faith, or not)?
Pretty peaceful. I'm in the middle of my TWW and not going crazy yet. Really hoping it stays this way and that I can continue praying and trusting like I have been, even when my period comes. That'll be the real test I think.

Do you have any praise or encouragement to share with others?
At church on Sunday, I sat next to the woman who shared her IF story a few weeks ago and how God had brought her through that. We spoke for a bit after service and she continues to be a source of comfort for me, just in how she speaks about trusting God. She was sharing she and her DH also went to Hawaii while they were going through their IF journey. She shared how good it was for her soul to go to just let go and breathe for a while. It really got me even more excited for our trip in May. DH and I need some quality time to just be again. I miss us before IF.

Any prayer requests? Since I'm in my last week or so of my TWW, prayer for continued peace would be appreciated.

GTKY: If you celebrate, do you have an Easter traditions? Plans for Easter this year?
We usually have dinner with family. This year we'll probably have it with my sister who lives local.

KristoKekerooni

@ali_gator11 - I find myself going up and down throughout my cycle too. It just adds to the exhaustion. Sorry you are experiencing it too. I wish I had advice to keep yourself even-keeled, but I don't, really. The only thing that helps me is to make sure I am super consistent on things that "fill me up" and even then it dulls it, but the rollercoaster is still there. 

@TravelingCouple - As always, praying this is it for you. I'm so glad you are excited and looking forward to being with your boo again. It's so hard. Sometimes I have moments of fear where I'm like, I don't even know who we are outside of TTC. It's scary.

Do you have a verse that speaks to you or encourages you that you'd like to share?
I shared this last time I think, but still so accurate. It's not a verse, more of an idea and it helps
"Maybe God gives you mountains to show others it can be moved"

How are you feeling in general (can be regarding your faith, or not)?
To be honest, I am struggling.I'm so fearful. I don't have a doctor now since I dumped mine. So this IUI really needs to have worked, because finding a new one and getting back to treatment will be forever. And honestly... I don't think H's SA will come back good. I flip flop between "the lab screwed up the sample" and "there really is something wrong again." I am leaning toward there actually being something wrong because we were treating on borrowed time anyway. It's really down to IVF and we just can't at the moment. H graduates next month and we wanted to buy a house, etc. And we just can't get a loan to do it. I am so so against loans and I can't make an exception no matter how much my hearts wants to. Especially since I don't know if it would work anyway.


Do you have any praise or encouragement to share with others?
super long thing about various encounters this week that are encouraging:

One of my very close friends has had three losses. She reached out to me this week (as we do periodically to check on each other) and asked how the IUI went. I told her the horrible story and we chatted a bit. She and her H moved a different direction and are foster a little boy. Well two weeks after he moved in, she found out she was expecting again. She told me she's now 10 weeks and basically said "God is the God of the impossible" she went on to say how often she prayers for us. It was such a sweet conversation. She repeatedly turned the conversation back to me, trying not to make it about her and I appreciated her effort so much, even though it wasn't necessary. I have never been more thrilled. 
Then Friday I had small group. We had a nice dinner and then after nine (the time small group officially ends, so we can be a little less uptight, I guess?) we moved over from the restaurant to a brewery next door and most had drinks. Things got really deep as we discussed how the group has impacted us so much and how God is moving through the group. We've had people get promotions, raises, bonuses, miraculous recoveries, etc. Even one couple who was IF getting pregnant. The whole time I selfishly kept praying "me next, please, me next." As we were talking about the couple who is pregnant one of the men started giving advice to the dad-to-be about how he needs to enjoy it. He went on to talk about how he loved talking to his wife's belly and touching her and how the pregnancy was the sweetest time, etc. I started crying, thinking how bad I wanted my H to experience that too. He just looked at me (way to go, Kristo, stealing the spotlight here.) and he starting spouting off the most encouraging words. He talked about how strong we are and how genuine we are about our journey (I have been known to vent and curse and cry about it...). he talked about how unfair it is that other's have children when he thinks we deserve them so much. But then he went on to say that even though it's been rough, he's thankful, in a way, because he was able to appreciate his wife and children in a new way. He said that we have taught everyone there to be thankful for things they didn't realize were gifts. Even beyond that, there is another couple in the group who is IF and we've been the push they needed to go out and get testing and treatment because they've been paralyzed in fear. I wish I could have recorded the words he said, they were so sweet, and so encouraging. It's also somehow added this whole new level of pressure, of sorts. Like, I NEED to go back to this group and say "LOOK" Like, I want to be a testimony. I am all about God using you and putting you through things to be a testament to Him (Job, anyone?), and I have no doubt that that could be the case here, because I am not silent... I just wish I could fast forward to that point already. I want to be on the other side. 

Any prayer requests?
Definitely prayers for my dear friend to make it through the rest of this pregnancy with a healthy baby. 
Also, Guys I need to be okay with failing all this. If this cycle is a bust, we are out completely till probably September at the earliest- that means not even TTC, no timing, no OPKS, maybe not even using condoms for sanity. I need to be okay with this. 
GTKY: If you celebrate, do you have an Easter traditions? Plans for Easter this year?
Probably just church. Maybe dinner. We have traditions we will involve kids in, but nothing for big people like us.

TravelingCouple

Oh @KristoKekerooni I am crying reading your post. You are an amazing, amazing woman and I wish I could hug you so hard right now. This journey is unbelievably hard, I'm sure we'd all say the hardest things we've ever experienced. Yet you share how God is using you to touch others lives through it all as a testimony. I mean, wow, does it seriously get any more touching than that? Of course it's still going to be hard and the tears will still come, but if God can reach into the deepest most painful parts of our lives and make something beautiful out of it...I think that just about sums up why we're here. From the bottom of my heart, I pray and hope and wish for you to have your beautiful take home baby. I really canNOT wait to see your grad post and throw confetti all over your face. You are such a blessing to me. I really hope this is it for you, but I will definitely be praying for peace in your heart if it's not so you can find a way to move through until September. I just love you so much, sending you all my hugs right now.

KristoKekerooni

Oh gosh, now I'm all teary. i'm not that great, but I sound great on paper!  Kidding. I so appreciate your words. and you know I can't wait for your grad post either. We can throw a party!