Funeral for family member

ericandmaria · April 2017

I'm almost 26w, FTM, my husband's grandmother died today

my Mom said it might not be a good idea for me to go to funeral, some superstition, I never heard anything like that. I'm going to go to funeral just wanted to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks!

OperaSingerMommy · April 2017

I'm sorry for you loss. I wouldn't let a superstition stop me from supporting a family member, personally. If your doctor supports your trip (assuming out of town) and you are comfortable going, I think you should go.

crzyforbabies · April 2017

My mom went to a funeral when she was pregnant with my sister. A cousin told her not to go because she would mark the baby. Coincidentally my sister was born with a big red birthmark on her forehead! My little brother always said it was the mark of the devil haha.

kswiger06 · April 2017

***lurking from F17***

I never heard of that, but anyway, I went to a funeral at 18 weeks pregnant. I'm not sure what bad luck is supposed to come, but I had a normal pregnancy, labor, and delivery. My baby is 7 weeks and doing great. (And he doesn't have any birthmark on him that I can find lol)

lanie1000 · April 2017

Well, I went to a funeral about 3 weeks ago to support one of my very best friends who lost a loved one. I'm not one to believe in superstition and I think supporting the ones we care about is important.

That being said I guess I'll see if this little one has any birthmarks in July.

SaphireSweetie88 · April 2017

ericandmaria said:

I'm almost 26w, FTM, my husband's grandmother died today my Mom said it might not be a good idea for me to go to funeral, some superstition, I never heard anything like that. I'm going to go to funeral just wanted to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks!

I went to my grandma's funeral a month ago. Being there to support your husband is more important than any superstition just like being there to support my grandpa and other family members was more important to me than the so called superstition

Dovahkiin_99 · April 2017

I attended a traditional Coast Salish funeral a couple months back and had to wear a blanket wrapped around my belly to 'protect' the baby. I respectfully observed the tradition and there was no way I would miss it because I cared about the person who passed (some folks mentioned I shouldn't go). Maybe something similar could be done to ease their minds?

Mrs.EmmaLouise · April 2017

I went to a funeral today, I guess I can let you know later how it pans out. And I'm going to another one next week.

I'm sure it's a an old superstition, but if you think it will upset the family of the lost one you could opt out. If it's not a superstition from that side of the family and you are comfortable, I would go. I'm sorry for your loss.

Twinkiedoll · April 2017

I went through this a few months ago. My MIL wanted me to ask my mother for permission to attend the funeral of the mother of DH's godmother. I refused to ask for permission. I wanted to be there for DH. I don't regret it one bit.

nellin-2 · April 2017

There is a lot of superstition around death and pregnancy, some of them are vaguely sensible (or were before modern medicine and sanitation) and some are just plain crazy.
Funerals are an important part of our grieving process and as long as it's safe for you to travel I would definitely attend the funeral.
I'm sure your mom just wants you to look after yourself but if you explain its important to be there for your husband and say goodbye she would surely understand.

tuxielove93 · April 2017

I went to a funeral around 14 weeks with this LO before I even knew that there was a superstition. It wasn't even anyone super close, but my neighbor/very removed cousin's brother had died, and I always feel like it's better to go and be supportive than to not. I actually made her really happy and smile when I got there, because she saw the bump (very small, but bump none the less). I brightened a few people's faces just because I was pregnant and there was something happy to focus on. I felt awkward about it then, as if I was unintentionally stealing the sadness spotlight, but in retrospect, it was probably comforting to those grieving to have something happy to focus on if only for a minute. If your comfortable and you want to go, go. You will probably make more people smile a little than you will annoy/offend anyone by being there.

**This is pertaining to the culture in the US, if you happen to live in a culture where this superstition is the norm, or your DH is from a culture like that, it's definitely something to consider**

bostonlady-2 · April 2017

I had no idea these superstitions existed! I've been to 3 funerals this pregnancy, and have been around many more deaths. I had the same experience as @kerils, people said they were glad to have something happy to celebrate. Death is a part of life- if you're comfortable, I would support your husband and family. Of course, given that I've never heard of this before and am not superstitious (or able to avoid death if I wanted to), I clearly have a biased view.