TTC Intro, Fertility Testing? (loss mentioned)

Knottie18126503

Hello,

I may have posted here at some point several months ago, but I don't really remember. I think it might help if I tell my story to others in the same boat? My husband is sympathetic and tries to get me not to worry, but it's very hard.

We started trying to conceive in July 2016. I ended up having a blighted ovum between September and December; we kind of estimated the miscarriage at 8 weeks. I bled for three straight weeks, they did an ultrasound, everything was gone, so I ended up not having to get a DNC.

This month my period was ten days late (I am a regular 30 day cycle, even for the first two months after the miscarriage). But today it arrived and it was just depressing.

I know we have not reached the one year mark (this would be month nine of trying), but I just feel defeated. People keep telling me that the miscarriage could be a good sign of fertility, so I have tried to stop worrying about it, but then to get "teased" with a late period is just frustrating.

My husband and I have already talked about getting fertility testing to see if there are any issues. I just dont know if it's too soon. I really dont want to wait until July, then have another month and a half of figuring out results. I guess if something is wrong I'd like to know before we suffer more heartache and  disappointment. Do you think we should wait and try a little longer?

limeburst

Hello, and welcome! I am sorry for your loss.

I have not hit the year mark either of trying (although it is quickly approaching). I made an appointment with my OBGYN after 7 months because I was having irregular cycles. I was a little afraid of how she would react to me coming in after only 7 months, but she took me seriously and initiated a lot of testing for MH and I. I am so glad that I didn't wait because it turns out that we are dealing with MFI, which we would have had no way to know if she hadn't started ordering tests.

That being said, if you are almost at a year of trying I think most doctors will consider your concerns. There are some factors to consider though. How old are you? Are you noticing anything unusual about your cycles? Are you tracking your cycles in anyway? (A lot of us use OPKs and BBT to detect and confirm ovulation). If you are already seeing a gynecologist that you know and are comfortable with then I think it's okay for you set up an appointment to discuss your concerns. I may be in the minority with that opinion though - my general perspective is why wait? There is already so much waiting when TTC. "Worst case" you make an appointment and get KU while you are doing testing or before your appointment and you have to cancel, which of course, is not a bad situation at all  

good luck! 

Knottie18126503

Thank you for sharing and your support! I track my cycles and they are always fairly regular - between day 28 and day 31 is always my period day (even right after the miscarriage). This month it arrived on day 40.

I am 28, but my husband is 38 and he did smoke for several years (quit 3 years ago). We know that might be a factor as well. But ace both had a lot of bloodworm recently and doctors say we're both healthy.

I also have A- blood and we don't know my husband's blood type. I hear conflicting things about having negative blood types when pregnant. I did get the Rhogam shot when I miscarried.

I may call the gynecologist today. I'll talk to my husband and see what he thinks. Thank you again

MooFish2364

Welcome. I also had a blighted ovum loss over a year ago. My DH and I did wait until about 10 months after our loss to start seeing an RE as we have been TTC for almost 2 years total now. I think if you are worried and feel that there might be a problem it can't hurt to at least call. Or as @Knottie18126503 said if you have an OB/GYN that you trust they can always order initial testing. My DH's primary doctor ordered his no problem. And my OB ordered my initial bloodwork and HSG. 

Knottie18126503

Thank you. My husband and I talked about it and we are going to wait and try just a little longer. He made a good point that this is just my third month since the miscarriage, so I might not be completely back to status quo for conceiving yet. We are still going to call the doctor and see what she recommends. If we go another two months with no success, we're going to order the testing.

funkykey

Hi @Knottie18126503 - welcome. I hope you find support on these boards. I'm sorry for your struggles and MC, but glad you did not need a D&C. I definitely understand how sh*tty it is to feel defeated.

PP have given good advice. I liked @Kim41313 's advice. I started my testing before the year mark, around the 8 month mark, actually - my husband does smoke, and I was convinced it was affecting his sperm, so I wanted him to have an SA done. (Sadly, that was not the issue. Grr. I still want him to quit smoking, but now I have one less piece of ammo than I wanted.) 

Anyway, sounds like you have a good plan going forward with: "We are still going to call the doctor and see what she recommends. If we go another two months with no success, we're going to order the testing."

Good luck to you!

Also, a note of housekeeping - a lot of users who sign up with the default user names (ie. Knottiexxxxxxxx) end up changing their handles to something easier to remember. I think you can do that on the Knot site. Not that I think you need to right now, though - sometimes it's easier to wait and see if you like the boards/want to participate.

SP128

Sorry you find yourself here.  Sounds like you have a great plan.  I went to the RE earlier this month.  It hasn't been a year yet (10 months) but I'm a little older and had a loss.  

Knottie18126503

Thanks funky key and SP128. I think the hardest part, really, is not knowing. I am trying not to stress too much.  My husband quit smoking of his own volition and I think its great, but he smoked for at least a decade beforehand. There are so many variables, though, and I know guys that smoke like chimneys since they were twelve, and have three or four kids. Its just the uncertainty of it all.