Things you wish you knew

m6agua

I saw this on another board and thought it looked fun!

What's one thing no one told you but you wish you knew about:

1. TTGP

2. Pregnancy

3. Labor/Delivery

4. Postpartum body/symptoms

5. Life with a newborn

6. Life with a baby

7. Life with more than 1 kid (for those that apply)

m6agua

1. TTGP How difficult it is to be a great partner. I tracked my cycle/ovulation and sex started to become a chore. Next time I will do better.

2. Pregnancy How hard it is to stay positive throughout after loss. My first pregnancy was and ignorance is bliss sort of thing, then I had a loss. I was crazy worried in the beginning with this one and wish I would've just chilled out more.

3. Labor/Delivery That it can go fast! Since this would be my first actual delivery (I had a natural MC at 6 weeks) I figured it would last a while. My moms was almost 30 hours. Mine was about 8 hours from the first painful contraction. I honestly think having the MC prepped my body even though it was so early. I definitely had contractions during it, but nothing like full term labor.

4. Postpartum body/symptoms My doctor warned me about the hair loss but I never imagined it would be this much!

5. Life with a newborn It is HARD! Also when everyone is saying everyone can breastfeed, when that isn't true. I wish I would've known, my first week with LO wouldn't have been so rough. I'm sad about it in two ways. I didn't get to BF like I wanted and I didn't get to enjoy those first couple of weeks.

6. Life with a baby I wish I would've know how hard it is to have a relationship with my husband. We work different shifts which makes it even harder. It is something we are just starting to work better at.

7. Life with more than 1 kid (for those that apply)

kvruns

What's one thing no one told you but you wish you knew about:

1. TTGP it can be stressful and definitely feel like work if you're really trying

2. Pregnancy that not everyone feels the baby move a ton but that is ok, it doesn't mean there is a problem

3. Labor/Delivery don't pack a bunch of stuff in your bag - tablet, books, etc HA 

4. Postpartum body/symptoms you can bleed for a long, long time after. 

5. Life with a newborn it is hard, and it is ok to feel this way and feel like it isn't always rainbows and unicorns

6. Life with a baby same as above

7. Life with more than 1 kid (for those that apply) N/A  one and done!

jsmai

1. TTGP

How emotional I'd feel at the end of every cycle whether the test was positive or negative.

2. Pregnancy

Feeling the baby kick and how it mitigated all of the other sucky pregnancy symptoms.

3. Labor/Delivery

I wish I had known how few breaks I would have in between contractions. Over the course of 10 hours of active labor neither of my support people got so much as a bathroom break.

4. Postpartum body/symptoms

Trying to appreciate my new body with slightly less hair, slightly longer feet, and slightly saggy skin.

5. Life with a newborn

Learning how to function on fumes and baby smiles

6. Life with a baby

Adjusting my daily expectations of myself, and appreciating the little wins.

kristah2

1. TTGP
It may happen faster then you anticipate so make sure your ducks are in a row and you're ready for it 

2. Pregnancy
trust your instincts and don't let people dismiss you, including your doctor/spouse. 

3. Labor/Delivery
It doesn't akways go the way you plan so keep your mind open. 

4. Postpartum body/symptoms
The recovery from a csection isn't horrible (and it's so worth it) and the body issues post pregnancy are real  

5. Life with a newborn
Will be so overwhelming but you will figure it out, enjoy figuring it out with your spouse and laughing a lot. 

6. Life with a baby
Amazing. Enjoy every single moment it goes by too fast. 

Ladybug2821

1. TTGP

How hard it would be and the effects it can have on your marriage

2. Pregnancy

The crazy symptoms that you don't hear about like carpal tunnel, I'm still dealing with the after math of that.

3. Labor/Delivery

Not to let the doctors talk you into going early.  I had GD and everything was under control with diet alone.  My DR said "by law" I couldn't go past 39 weeks so I went along with it and I really don't think S was ready.  So I ended up in labor for almost 2 days and having to have a C section.  Definitely need to check into that "law".

4. Postpartum body/symptoms

How different my body looks.  Its not necessarily bad, but I didn't realize my entire shape would change.

5. Life with a newborn

That not all babies sleep as much as they say and that BFing is hard! 

6. Life with a baby

Same as above, and that once you think you have BFing  down, something else happens to make it difficult again.

rspalding001

1. TTGP
it can be harder than you thought and sex can become "not fun" ha ha. But if you have a supportive partner you will get through it and be stronger. 

2. Pregnancy
embrace it! All of it! Enjoy the maternity jeans while you can!

3. Labor/Delivery
dont have your heart set on a plan, go with the flow and know your options.

4. Postpartum body/symptoms
Give yourself time to get back to "normal" and don't pay attention to anyone that thinks it should only take a month or two.

5. Life with a newborn
enjoy the cuddles and follow your gut. Mama knows best.

6. Life with a baby
you really just need to embrace your new normal. A baby changes everything so try not to have a vision of what things should be like, just let it evolve naturally whatever it ends up being.

7. Life with more than 1 kid (for those that apply)
its mainly about keeping the awake kid quite while the baby sleeps ha ha. But seriously the baby will adjust and so will you. Make sure you tell them all how much you love them!

MrsBigTime

1. TTGP

  Remember that nurturing an intimate bond with your husband is as important than having sex, even though the main goal is to get pregnant. I wish I would have embraced this more!

2. Pregnancy 

  Pregnant ladies stink and swamp crotch is real! Lots of showers, deodorant in new places and isopropyl alcohol spray are sanity savers!

3. Labor/Delivery 

  Find a care team that supports your desired birth plan but also has the end game in mind (a healthy, safe baby!), if you trust them, you'll know that they have your best interest in mind when you're so out of it. Also, when the words "I just can't do this anymore!" Come out of your mouth, know that you're almost done!

4. Postpartum body/symptoms 

  Be ready for so much body fluid. Milk, discharge, pee, spit up, more milk! Those too-small receiving blankets make excellent burp rags! Oh, and Hemorrhoids are from the pit of hell! 

5. Life with a newborn 

  Your main job for this hard and exhausting season is to park your butt and hold your baby. It really is the best gift you can give yourself and your new child. Your house can wait, your well wishers can wait, everything else can wait. Right now, you are learning to trust yourself as a care provide and your baby is learning with every moment that they have the most incredible mama who is looking to care for their every need! Oh, and you WILL sleep again, it just may not be for a while!

6. Life with a baby 

  Get out of the house! Pack a bag and go! Go for a drive, or make laps around Target, whatever! Treat yourself to a nice coffee and leave your house!

7. Life with more than 1 kid 

  There IS enough of you to go around! It will feel like there so totally is not, but you are the best mama for these babies and even when you fail, you are showing them how to selflessly love another person. They are learning patience and kindness, and again learning how to trust that mama will indeed meet their needs, they may just need to wait. Also, when all else fails, and the day has been a disaster, 10 minutes of time dedicated to your older child (even with baby in your lap!) can turn the entire day around. So, play a board game, read a book, or play with her Frozen characters in the bath while you juggle the slippery baby - whatever you do, do it together and your kids will learn that they are a part of the best team, with the best mom at the lead. The days may be so chaotic and crazy, but they add up to a beautiful childhood, one your children will cherish because they will remember how well you loved them, not all the ways you feel you are failing. 

MrsMaryK2016

m6agua said:

I saw this on another board and thought it looked fun!

What's one thing no one told you but you wish you knew about:

1. TTGP - Sometimes getting pregnant is super easy and you better go into "trying to get pregnant" prepared for a positive pregnancy test the next month. 

2. Pregnancy - Just because you have no morning sickness does not mean anything is wrong with you or baby. Sleeping will be basically impossible from month 7 on. People love helping a pregnant woman and complete strangers will want to share your joy. Maternity clothes are comfortable but as a rule unfashionable. You will live for ultrasounds. 

3. Labor/Delivery - C-sections are a little scary and recovery is a challenge. You can go your whole pregnancy and not have any real contractions. 

4. Postpartum body/symptoms - The leaking, looooorddd the leaking! Breastfeeding is probably the least sexy thing you'll ever do. Breastfeeding destroys your boobs. You may have stretch marks that show up after baby is born that you didn't know were there. 

5. Life with a newborn - You will cry. A lot. Like a lot a lot. You will have a moment where you have no idea what to do atleast once a day for the first two weeks. There are not adequate words to describe how tired you will be. You will unfairly take out all your frustration and anxiety on your spouse. 

6. Life with a baby - Breastfeeding is so, so hard. Without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever done. I have laughed and smiled more the these four months than I have in the past four years. Being a SAHM can be boring and lonely. 

7. Life with more than 1 kid (for those that apply)

leighry

What's one thing no one told you but you wish you knew about:

1. TTGP
It takes everyone a different amount of time, and just because it took you a while to get pregnant the first or second time doesn't mean it will always be that way.. this coming from a girl whose 3rd and 4th pregnancies were "happy surprises." (We has known we wanted 4, but the pregnancies themselves were surprises.)

2. Pregnancy
Morning sickness. Nausea. Exhaustion. Heartburn. Leg cramps. Pelvic pain. And despite any or all of the unpleasant things you experience pregnant (sneeze pee being one of them) it's an experience you'll never forget.. in a good way.

3. Labor/Delivery
Everyone has a different plan. Do your best to ignore the women who "know it all" And do what's best for you and your baby, whatever that delivery looks like... also, your husband enjoying food while you labor may evoke all sorts of rage and he'll get over you telling him to STOP CHEWING SO GOD DAMN LOUD OR GET THE F OUT.

4. Postpartum body/symptoms
Ugh. Blah. Okay. You may GAIN weight. If you do, try not to get too down about it. It's okay to secretly hate the girl who is back in her skinny jeans 3 days post partum. The exhaustion struggle bus is real. Nipple pain is common.

5. Life with a newborn
It's a crazy ride. If you need help (and you will), ask. Never feel bad for asking. Putting baby in a crib or bassinet and walking away for a mental break won't hurt them. They can cry for a minute while you pee, eat, get a drink, or just take a minute to breathe. You eventually end up no longer caring who sees your boobs if you're breast feeding.

6. Life with a baby
Strap in. Grab caffeine.

7. Life with more than 1 kid (for those that apply).
See above. X2. Also, I have found 4 is no different than 3. Once you're outnumbered it doesn't change much. 

Ariylle

1. TTGP. It takes time. Months and months of time. 

2. Pregnancy. Heartburn to hell and back. Water hurt to drink. I see why it's left out. Also so many doctor appointments! I had ultrasounds twice a week every week near the middle end. Ish?

3. Labor/Delivery. You will never know. Plans can change even when you aren't prepared. Well, you will know however , prepare for the unexpected if the doctors decide you are going via csection earlier then intended. Also you may be thirsty while awaiting to have your children and you may just gotta stay thirsty cause you can't have water. 

4. Postpartum body/symptoms. Your maternity clothes will still be pretty comfy weeks after. Who needs to first into jeans anyway?

5. Life with a newborn. They won't smile at first but dead face you. They will learn to scream though. They will take your sleep.

6. Life with a baby. I agree with caffeine. And just get used to weird sleeping hours. They adjust and then unadjust and get really good with crying. 

7. Life with more than 1 kid. I had twins does that count? You will try to get them on the same schedule however they won't necessary play along to your plans. 

SandNStarsNJ

1. TTGP
Not every POS has the same results and you should be prepared for that. My first was a quick surprise, my second was a loss, and my third was a quick surprise again. I wasn't prepared for that loss because everything had previously gone so smoothly.

2. Pregnancy
Continue eating healthy and within reason - I have now gained a considerable amount for the second pregnancy in a row. Take advantage of the shortcuts people give you when you're showing because they aren't going to do the same when you have a screaming newborn in your hands.

3. Labor/Delivery
It feels like a big poop. And the second can come so quick that you might actually think it is a poop!

4. Postpartum body/symptoms
Wear Depends for as long as you need, do the Sitz bath, and remember that the saggy skin will go away it's just going to take a much longer time, especially for as long as you have pregnancy and BF hormones running through your body.

5. Life with a newborn
The first 6 weeks you are not a person - you do not shower, sleep or eat like you used to and that's OK. Things will return to what they once were just not for a while.

6. Life with a baby
Snuggle a lot and find new ways to make your life and fun apart of their's. It might seem challenging at first, but once you do, almost everything is more fun with your ENTIRE family. And carriers are so much more convenient than strollers.

7. Life with more than 1 kid (for those that apply)
When you're BF it's hard to split your time or do everything you want with your older child, but curling up and reading a good book together is a decent start. Pregnancy is WAY more exhausting and sleep is a whole lot less than when you just had one. Oh, and if you can get the first one potty trained before the second one comes, it's super helpful!

lajoliedreamer

1. TTGP - it's normal to dread and hope for a pregnancy - one feeling doesn't necessarily negate the other. 

2. Pregnancy - *TW* There is more than one way to have a MC. My first pregnancy was a missed MC, which I didn't even realize was an option. I thought a MC was obvious and bloody and in your face. I didn't know a body could hold on to a non-viable fetus for weeks/months and I'd need medical intervention to encourage it to let go.
Also, that body image issues carry over into pregnancy - I thought it would be easy to embrace the bump and "glow" but it was a real struggle for me.

3. Labor/Delivery - Labor can feel like bad back pain and the urge to poop with no major cramping in the front at all! [In fact, I totally thought I'd pooped my pants when I got in the car to go the hospital, but it was actually E crowning!]

4. Postpartum body/symptoms - trying to stay fit throughout pregnancy does not make me exempt from anything. My tummy is still flabby, my grip is weak, and I pee a little while exercising. 

5. Life with a newborn - it's lonely. People decided to give me space to adjust to the "new norm" and it felt very much like sinking without any support. Only one who continually reached out was MIL who wasn't who I necessarily wanted to hear from all the time.

6. Life with a baby - every little thing she does is magic.