POTD - # of kids you want

carries2018

In a perfect world how many kids do you want?

carries2018

98% sure 3. that has always been my number (both H and i are 1 of 3). but the idea of being done at 31, feels so young. i don't think i will know for sure until #3 is here.

ac1259

I picked 3 because I am done after this pregnancy and it actually feels good to me to know that. Like I'm cool with this plan now, no regrets, I'm good with knowing that this one is the last. Very freeing to at least feel confident in that. 

ksf13

We are stopping at two. We have a daughter already. I'd love for her to have a sister and I'd also love to have a little boy. I have no preference one way or the other this time. If it's a girl, I definitely dread the "oh, so are you going to try for a boy?!" comments. 

aprilsarahjune

Among many other actual and not AW reasons, I am going to look awesome out and about town with my 4 kids.

purplestarz

Two, definitely. I used to say 1, then something obviously changed my mind. DH used to always say 2, and now for some reason he keeps bringing up a third. I want to smack him sometimes.

mylittleversailles

We don't know, so I guess I really am a special snowflake for the potd today! Maybe one and done, open to two. I was an only child, but of a (crazy!!!!) single mother so it's a different situation than now. Toronto is wicked expensive and we're set on staying (nowhere can provide better multicultural exposure which is #1 priority for us as parents) so it may only be one. It was also freaking hell getting here and although we're not guaranteed to go through it again, I don't think we're able to put ourselves through that ringer again.  We may adopt through foster care for #2 but nothing is outside the realm of possibility right now. Having no experience beyond loss and tttc, we're just waiting it out to see how it goes for us with a real live baby.

natleilynn

Two - finally, a poll I'm a normal kid in!!

Twins run in both our families so we had said 3 was our max. If we had twins the first round, we would have been done. We had a singleton the first round so if this one had been twins, we would have been done after these.

The doctor has checked 4 times now and swears to me there is only one in there. So 2 and then we are done. 

jessafishy

I want 3 but DH took convincing to agree to 2 so this is our last.

ksf13

@jessafishy It took a lot of convincing to talk DH into 2 as well! I'm happy with two, but he definitely would have stopped at one. He's excited now, but it took me a while to talk him into a second! 

jessafishy

@keriflores he's just such a worry wart and always concerned about finances. He would have been fine stopping at 1 too. 

He will be good once all of the "unknowns" are crossed off.

I will say that he will definitely be the one getting "fixed" after this. I told him since he is the one who is done, he will be the one getting the permanent fix.

feeislove

I've always thought siblings are important but DH only wants one and honestly I might change my mind after having one. 

carries2018

jessafishy said:

I will say that he will definitely be the one getting "fixed" after this. I told him since he is the one who is done, he will be the one getting the permanent fix.

i am struggling with this. since i will have a csection i feel like i should just get my tubes tied. but it feels so final. like every part of me is like 3 is good. but want to know the reason i keep thinking about 4? is like the 1 trip to disney we go on and how we will be an odd number and someone as to sit alone. like really carries2018...THAT is your concern? haha

curlyq423

I voted 3 bc that's what we will have even though our original plan was probably 2. I will not get pregnant again after this one! 1 child the first pregnancy, 2 the second, so we won't try for 3 the third! Just hoping one of these little nuggets is a girl!

mrs_fogue

I'm going to be a special snowflake today!  I really don't know!!  I am from a large family and love the idea of a large family so I'm just going to say 3+.  Although we will probably just stick to 3.  I wanted to be special today. 

deadasthatsquirrel

We've always said two, but now that's it's actually happening, we think it'll be one and done.

Vancouver is so expensive and I think we'd rather be able to splurge on one kid, rather than having to consider two lots of extra-curricular activities etc. 

aprilsarahjune

@carries2018 Have you brought up getting your tubes tied with your doctor yet?  I picked a new OB, so my first OB appointment was lots of medical history stuff, and I just didn't bring it up.  I am having a repeat c/s as well and I am the most likely candidate in my relationship for sterilization because of that as well.  Thoughts on what and how to ask?

riverrainez

Two and through. We've always been in total agreement about it.

carries2018

aprilsarahjune said:

@carries2018 Have you brought up getting your tubes tied with your doctor yet?  I picked a new OB, so my first OB appointment was lots of medical history stuff, and I just didn't bring it up.  I am having a repeat c/s as well and I am the most likely candidate in my relationship for sterilization because of that as well.  Thoughts on what and how to ask?

i just talked about it briefly at my follow up with #2 with her. we have a friendship type vibe so i just spilled my guts about my feelings. her advice was if you are not sure, don't do it.  i am going to talk to her about it again now that #3 is really on the table.

our secondary plan if i am still unsure by go time - we are going to wait a year, and if we feel like we are done H is going to get snipped. but i feel like if we are really sure, close both shops bc i read too many things.

beezeee

@jessafishy I'm in the same boat. I think I'd love 3, but DH is set on 2. He's thinking financially - he wants to be able to take a lot of family vacations, contribute to the kids' college tuition, more space in the house, etc. We will see, because I have a feeling baby fever will hit hard in a few years and I may be able to convince him on a 3rd.

ksf13

@jessafishy That's exactly what was going on with DH. He was sooo worried we would have twins. He's concerned about finances too. The thing is, we are pretty good at managing out money, so I don't know where his worrry comes from lol. He has volunteered himself to get "fixed" too, because he's super serious about being done! 

beezeee

For all the ladies talking about DH getting fixed (this is our plan eventually too), beware! My step dad had to undergo the procedure 3 times before it worked. He explained all the details to me once (don't ask me why, I think there was alcohol involved), but I think I blocked them from my memory.

aprilsarahjune

beezeemarie said:

For all the ladies talking about DH getting fixed (this is our plan eventually too), beware! My step dad had to undergo the procedure 3 times before it worked. He explained all the details to me once (don't ask me why, I think there was alcohol involved), but I think I blocked them from my memory.

@beezeemarie That sounds like an awkward conversation for sure!
I started googling tubal ligation for the first time ... and that isn't sounding very safe or effective either.  And birth control, especially my IUD, has been awful for me.  I want all of the benefits of womanhood without a 5th child and 4th c/s, but that is sounding less and less probable.  

jessafishy

@keriflores Same! We are doing MUCH better than a lot of people financially. We aren't rich or rolling the dough but we are comfortable.

@beezeemarie Oh I assumed that we would be using barrier methods until he got 100% confirmation from his doctor that he was shooting blanks. I didn't get back on hormonal BC after I had DS (I didn't like how it made me feel and didn't realize it had affected me so much until I got off it) so we relied on charting and condoms. 

grkgdss00

I'd love 3, but advanced maternal age will only give us 2.

ksf13

@beezeemarie DH says he is, but I honestly plan to get another IUD, because I liked not having a period lol. Since I had no issues with it the last time, I'm hoping I wont this time around. 

riverrainez

DH is planning on getting a vasectomy but I really liked not having periods on the IUD too. Maybe we'll do both for added security, ha.

gograce

I picked four. This baby's is number two for us, and it will come right around DS's second birthday. DH is pretty sure more babies will Ben off the table, at least for a while, but we agreed that's if we go for a third, there needs to be a fourth since the first and second will be so close in age and the possibility of number 3 will be so far down the road.

PizzaMonster3

I've always wanted 4. I was the middle child of three and always loved large families. DH is a bit more worried about college and extra-curricular costs than I am and thinks we should stop at 2. At 26 with our first - I've gotten a late start on my plan so I'm not sure what we'll end up with. 

mommac2017

I said 2, but we haven't decided for sure yet if we will go for #3 or not. Guess I'll see how the rest of this pregnancy goes and decide after I see how I do with 2! Haha!

sjohns908

This is baby #4 and we are definitely done with 4! We were convinced we were done at 3, actually, but we didn't do anything permanent just because I needed to *know* we were done and I never felt it. Lo and behold, we decided we werent done, so here we are. But this IS it and permanent measures will be taken lol

canonmom413

We're a million percent done at 3!!!

editing to elaborate: 
After my first, I knew she needed a sibling. I was an only child in my household. I had two older half brothers who didn't live with me. I missed out on the fighting and making up siblings do. We had our second DD and I was content for while. Then baby fever hit and it hit hard. Here we are ( after a longer then expected road ). But DH and I are completely and irrevocably sure this is it. 

twinning2017

I use to say I wanted 4 total. But my boyfriend has two already, I have one and well with twins on the way I don't want any more. I'm good with my biological 3. I feel like I'm definitely going to have my hands full!! 

emwj10187

when i was younger I always wanted 3 ...i used to say 2 boys and a girl would be ideal. Now I'm voting one and done for now. Not carving that into stone just yet, but its definitely how I'm feeling these days.

jessafishy

@emwj10187 I went through several weeks of "I don't know if I want to do this again" when DS was a newborn. The newborn stage is VERY challenging for me. 

It took well over a year for me to feel ready to have another, even though pregnancy and L&D were relatively easy on me.

Now I'm back up to 3 haha, but will be content with 2. 

ezavasky

One and done. Hubs and I agreed the max we would ever want was two, and it took us forever to decide if we even wanted a child. Also, I never wanted to have children past 35 (my mom had me at 37 and my brother at 40). I will be turning 35 eight days before my due date...talk about timing haha.

soprano19

We definitely want at least two, though I think H would like three. I'm one of two and he is one of three, and we both loved growing up with our siblings. I might be able to be talked into three (but let's start with this one, our first).

canonmom413

I want to know who you Dugger wannabe's are  

NervousNelly825

I voted two because that's the way I'm leaning right now. My husband wants 3. He has 2 brothers. But I hate odd numbers so if I do three I feel like there will be a fourth and that seems like too many. I have the siblings myself though so who knows. 

tyannej

I chose 3, I wanted 2 forever, and DH wants four (I still don't know why) but I think we have met a truce in the middle of 3. But this is our first so we will see how it all goes! The women in my family have a very strong history of uterine issues; as in I'm the only female on both sides of my family, several generations back that have my working parts. They were all able to reproduce but every woman in my family has had a hysterectomy. So hopefully we can have 3, and all be healthy. 

folamij

We used to say 3. This could still be the fatigue talking but I don't know if I want to go past 2 atm. Chasing after LO is exhausting, so I guess I'm a special snowflake now since it's undecided.