Random rant: I understand the chance of something going wrong decreases after the first trimester but I'm getting pretty sick of feeling like just because I'm 5 weeks, I'm not really pregnant or it's not really a baby yet. I AM pregnant and I DO have a baby growing inside me, it's just really small right now. What else am I growing, a duck? We need to stop making pregnant women feel ashamed if they announce before 12 weeks or not "part of the club" early in their pregnancies. Just because you can't see it with the naked eye doesn't mean it's not true.
Isn't it funny how those who have the most opinions about pregnant women are those who are not, in fact, pregnant women?
@DuchessOfCambridge I completely agree. We started telling the people we see day to day right away. I got some side eyes, and I have experienced a loss before many years ago, but I told everyone that if the worst happened I wasn't going to hide it. I hit 8 weeks today and I know it's silly but I just started feeling like I'm "pregnant enough" now. It's ridiculous, the beginning is where you feel the worst and could use the support and yet you're expected to keep it under wraps to make everyone else more comfortable.
@BayCamp exactly. And it's not about everyone else, it's about you. Why are we shamed into hiding literally one of the most exciting things to ever happen to us? If it's the mom's comfort level to wait, I totally get that. No one else's comfort level needs to matter.
Random rant: I understand the chance of something going wrong decreases after the first trimester but I'm getting pretty sick of feeling like just because I'm 5 weeks, I'm not really pregnant or it's not really a baby yet. I AM pregnant and I DO have a baby growing inside me, it's just really small right now. What else am I growing, a duck? We need to stop making pregnant women feel ashamed if they announce before 12 weeks or not "part of the club" early in their pregnancies. Just because you can't see it with the naked eye doesn't mean it's not true.
Isn't it funny how those who have the most opinions about pregnant women are those who are not, in fact, pregnant women?
Absolutely agreed. I find myself trying to minimize "how pregnant" I am when talking because I know what judgments are there. But damn it! WE ARE CREATING HUMAN BEINGS. Every last bit of those super intricate little beings is made NOW. Not when I'm 36 weeks and huge.
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
*TW - loss* (I don't know how to spoiler, but will gladly add one)
I hate the implication that we're supposed to be quiet about our pregnancies in case something happens because we're then supposed to be even more silent about the loss of a baby. Women do not need to sit in silence when they're overjoyed nor should they have to sit in silence when given the worst news they've ever received. Stop telling women what to do.
@pawcall glad the feeding tube went well and sending continuing prayers for you guys!
Someone stole my small metal bucket holding my paperclips at work and I'm in such a rage about it. I don't care about the clips, but give me my damn bucket back.
*TW - loss* (I don't know how to spoiler, but will gladly add one)
I hate the implication that we're supposed to be quiet about our pregnancies in case something happens because we're then supposed to be even more silent about the loss of a baby. Women do not need to sit in silence when they're overjoyed nor should they have to sit in silence when given the worst news they've ever received. Stop telling women what to do.
AGREED. Some women choose to keep that private, which is fine, but I wish it weren't this societal imperative that a couple grieves a loss alone.
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
@ElizabethSchuyler I can't love your comment enough. I suffered my first loss quietly because, honestly it was not happy news that I was even pregnant. I was young and the guy was a friend that I had hooked up with on a drunken night. I was ashamed and he wanted me to terminate so he was not any kind of support when I was sad.
My thinking now is that I would need my village to be there as much to help us grieve as to help us celebrate. I totally understand that some people would rather deal with things privately, but I'm just not a private person. I wear both my joy and sorrow on my sleeve.
@BayCamp I'm so sorry you felt ashamed and suffered alone, especially since you needed the comfort more than anything. I totally understand those who do grieve privately, but how you grieve shouldn't be forced upon you by some out of date unwritten rule. It's your grief. No one can decide how you deal with it. You do you.
On the topic of telling early, I told my mom last week about being pregnant and she was such a B about it. She basically admonished me for telling her so early. *TW* And she knows about my losses, and wants to know about them, so it's even weirder! Like, am I supposed to wait until after a loss to tell you?? You want to be there for my pain and not my joy??*/TW*
She was also like, "well, I don't think I'll tell anyone else." Damn right, you won't! Lol, it's not up to her to decide when to tell people, and when I'm ready, *I* want to be the one to tell them. Then, she was trying to tell me not to tell the rest of the family when I'm in town late next week. Again, not your call. She's always been really narcissistic and controlling, and sometimes I just wish I had a more "normal" mom (supportive, kind, etc.). I felt stupid for even telling her until H reminded me that it was a crapshoot how she'd react based on her current mood and that I wanted to tell her, so that was it, and I did, and I don't have to avoid her or feel like I'm keeping a secret from her anymore. If she can't handle it, it's her problem. I'm pretty sure my whole family will have already been told when I see them next week, though.....
I don't even like my MIL that much, but I know when H calls to tell her that she'll be really excited, so I told him he has to do it when I'm there and have her on speaker because I didn't get that with my mom.
@SweetMelissa4 good for you. Sorry about your mom's reaction, but you did absolutely nothing wrong. Other women seem to be the biggest transgressors against pregnancy feminism for lack of a better phrase.
My bff that I do barre with showed up today at the gym looking totally green. Her 3 year old had been throwing up all night and she was feeling nauseous. Wtf stay home!! So now I'm waiting to get this stomach bug.
@heatherdubrow ew. I'm so extra protective now that I give intense side eye to people who even just have a cold around me. Thank goodness I have my own office at work!
My bff that I do barre with showed up today at the gym looking totally green. Her 3 year old had been throwing up all night and she was feeling nauseous. Wtf stay home!! So now I'm waiting to get this stomach bug.
Ugh that's one of my biggest pet peeves! DS got sick every single time he went to the gym daycare for 2 months. So then we'd have to stay home for a week, now that cold and flu season is over I'm finally considering going back. Whyyyyy can't people just stay home when they are sick (or their kids are sick)? It's the gym, it's not like work where you have to be there!
I feel as though I've been very fortunate. I've told a LOT of people, but I've also made it clear it's very early so we aren't officially announcing it to everyone just yet. All the ones who know have been quietly excited for us and no one other than my mom cautioned us about keeping it quiet for now, but she did have an early loss and that was Just How It Was Done
Me: 32 Husbando: 49 Married Since: 7/29/2012 omgosh
SweetMelissa4 hugs to you! I can't imagine how frustrating that must be but I think your SO's right. You did what you wanted when you wanted. Happy your MIL will be able to give you some of the excitement you deserve!
~Ziggy
Me:27 (diagnosed anovulatory May 2016) DH:29 (normal) Met 2008 | Dated 2010 | Married 2012 TTC#1 since June 2015 June 2016- 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 12), thin (2.45) lining | BFN July 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 10), thin (~4) lining | BFN August 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | BFN | Referred to specialist, visited once, was told we have less than a 3% chance even on medication, recommended to IUI for up to a 50% chance, decided not to pursue at this time | Stopped "trying" October 2016- We became licensed foster parents November 9, 2016- Arrival of DD#1, 4yo March 1, 2017- 1 day late, feel like crap (low fever & exhausted) | Mom suggested test before taking meds, I laughed but did it anyway | BFP! *shock*
@heatherdubrow ugh that is so annoying! I have a friend who I swear only wants to get together when she is sick. Wth? Why do people feel they must share their germs?
@heatherdubrow Ugggh. GROSS. I teach high school, and my students have the opportunity to be exempt from their final exams if they miss less than 3 days - so kids always show up sick and it drives me crazy! Pretty sure that's how I got the flu last month.
@lahansen - I'm going to go out on a limb and say I probably dress my children differently than most people do, lol. My daughter wore a ton of bubbles and bishop dresses - still does wear a lot of bishop dresses. And almost all include some sort of smocking. My son practically lived in Jon Jons for the first 2 years. The ones I bought usually had smocking and the ones I made I would do appliqué. Here is the pattern I used for that. I don't have a link for my bishop dress pattern off the top of my head at the moment. Most people don't dress their kids that way anymore, so I tend to be in the minority typically. https://www.childrenscornerstore.com/products/ccjohnny
*TW - loss* (I don't know how to spoiler, but will gladly add one)
I hate the implication that we're supposed to be quiet about our pregnancies in case something happens because we're then supposed to be even more silent about the loss of a baby. Women do not need to sit in silence when they're overjoyed nor should they have to sit in silence when given the worst news they've ever received. Stop telling women what to do.
I haven't stopped thinking about this all day, you put it so eloquently. Once we've announced our pregnancy I am for sure sharing this with the Facebook world. Pregnancy feminism needs to be recognized and unwanted opinions by non pregnant people need to stop.
I paint and have been working on a friend's baby shower. I did gifts for her with my silhouette (baby blanket and onesie) and painted her guestbook (24x36 canvas) and will be using my silhouette to announce to our family - onesies for the grandparents and for the niece and nephew. I love crafting and it's keeping me busy. I just wanna make the gifts for family now, but waiting til after my first appt which isn't for 2 more weeks
Does anyone else find it uncomfortable to twist their torso? I have a gross habit of twisting to crack my back but haven't been able to since getting KU because it feels uncomfortable. Sometimes I need to if I've been standing for a while because it hurts and is stiff, cracking is the only thing that provides relief. Should I not be twisting at all even though I'm only 5 weeks?
Random rant: I understand the chance of something going wrong decreases after the first trimester but I'm getting pretty sick of feeling like just because I'm 5 weeks, I'm not really pregnant or it's not really a baby yet. I AM pregnant and I DO have a baby growing inside me, it's just really small right now. What else am I growing, a duck? We need to stop making pregnant women feel ashamed if they announce before 12 weeks or not "part of the club" early in their pregnancies. Just because you can't see it with the naked eye doesn't mean it's not true.
Isn't it funny how those who have the most opinions about pregnant women are those who are not, in fact, pregnant women?
THIS. I could not agree more!!! My body my decisions. Pregnant is pregnant no matter how far along! Doesn't make you any less pregnant or your baby any less real.
@DuchessOfCambridge hmmm I twist all the time to crack my torso/chest area and haven't noticed any specific discomfort. Sometimes I notice discomfort if I "suck in"
@DuchessOfCambridge When I was 5 weeks my abs were really tight/sore. I couldn't lay on my stomach and stretch out without them bothering me. It wasn't horrible, but it was noticeable and kind of annoying... Not sure if that has anything to do with you not being able to twist.
Well since I don't feel like I'm dying today it's back to the gym for the first time in a month. My mind says Spin, but my body is telling me I should probably start with yoga. Here's hoping I don't pass out!
@BayCamp- which did you choose? I've been debating spin tomorrow, but feel like I might just be exhausted by it (since I can barely keep my eyes open even without a serious workout).
@kissthesky32 I did the spin class. I took it easy and learned a valuable lesson...next time I'm bringing a baggy of nuts or something with me to eat immediately after, because I got seriously nauseous on the way home. All in all I felt ok, just more easily winded.
@heatherdubrow I'm just becoming aware of all the gross stuff at work. I'm used to contact precaution rooms but today in ICU I got a call saying the patient had MRSA (nbd) but the pregnant speech therapist and I had been with him for the past several hours with no isolation gear. Ick. Could be worsr, could be the flu or I could be an ED nurse who gets no warning.
I definitely feel less mobile in general and a bit precious about my belly. Could discomfort twisting be from bloating?
On the topic of telling "too soon", we've told a few people. Two of my coworkers, one is pregnant and she is the one who told me to use the ovulation kit, and the other I sit next to and she sees me sick all the time and she can help cover for me. And my sister. It would be so weird not to have anyone to talk about this with.
My BF told his best friend and one of his coworkers.
It's weird that some people we're not super close with know before my parents and closest friends, but honestly I know my mom is going to be annoying (it's her nature). Just have to do some epic fake wine drinking at Passover on April 10th! Will be 9 weeks and 5 days then.
Re: Weekly Randoms 3/20
I understand the chance of something going wrong decreases after the first trimester but I'm getting pretty sick of feeling like just because I'm 5 weeks, I'm not really pregnant or it's not really a baby yet. I AM pregnant and I DO have a baby growing inside me, it's just really small right now. What else am I growing, a duck? We need to stop making pregnant women feel ashamed if they announce before 12 weeks or not "part of the club" early in their pregnancies. Just because you can't see it with the naked eye doesn't mean it's not true.
Isn't it funny how those who have the most opinions about pregnant women are those who are not, in fact, pregnant women?
My bra feels super uncomfortable today and I want to rip it off.
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
I hate the implication that we're supposed to be quiet about our pregnancies in case something happens because we're then supposed to be even more silent about the loss of a baby. Women do not need to sit in silence when they're overjoyed nor should they have to sit in silence when given the worst news they've ever received. Stop telling women what to do.
Someone stole my small metal bucket holding my paperclips at work and I'm in such a rage about it. I don't care about the clips, but give me my damn bucket back.
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
My thinking now is that I would need my village to be there as much to help us grieve as to help us celebrate. I totally understand that some people would rather deal with things privately, but I'm just not a private person. I wear both my joy and sorrow on my sleeve.
She was also like, "well, I don't think I'll tell anyone else." Damn right, you won't! Lol, it's not up to her to decide when to tell people, and when I'm ready, *I* want to be the one to tell them. Then, she was trying to tell me not to tell the rest of the family when I'm in town late next week. Again, not your call. She's always been really narcissistic and controlling, and sometimes I just wish I had a more "normal" mom (supportive, kind, etc.). I felt stupid for even telling her until H reminded me that it was a crapshoot how she'd react based on her current mood and that I wanted to tell her, so that was it, and I did, and I don't have to avoid her or feel like I'm keeping a secret from her anymore. If she can't handle it, it's her problem. I'm pretty sure my whole family will have already been told when I see them next week, though.....
I don't even like my MIL that much, but I know when H calls to tell her that she'll be really excited, so I told him he has to do it when I'm there and have her on speaker because I didn't get that with my mom.
Married Since: 7/29/2012
omgosh
Met 2008 | Dated 2010 | Married 2012
TTC#1 since June 2015
June 2016- 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 12), thin (2.45) lining | BFN
July 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 10), thin (~4) lining | BFN
August 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | BFN | Referred to specialist, visited once, was told we have less than a 3% chance even on medication, recommended to IUI for up to a 50% chance, decided not to pursue at this time | Stopped "trying"
October 2016- We became licensed foster parents
November 9, 2016- Arrival of DD#1, 4yo
March 1, 2017- 1 day late, feel like crap (low fever & exhausted) | Mom suggested test before taking meds, I laughed but did it anyway | BFP! *shock*
Married: 11/2013
"Q" DS1: 3/2011
"T" DS2: 10/2012
"A" DD: 1/2014
EDD #4: 11/26/2017
I definitely feel less mobile in general and a bit precious about my belly. Could discomfort twisting be from bloating?
On the topic of telling "too soon", we've told a few people. Two of my coworkers, one is pregnant and she is the one who told me to use the ovulation kit, and the other I sit next to and she sees me sick all the time and she can help cover for me. And my sister. It would be so weird not to have anyone to talk about this with.
My BF told his best friend and one of his coworkers.
It's weird that some people we're not super close with know before my parents and closest friends, but honestly I know my mom is going to be annoying (it's her nature). Just have to do some epic fake wine drinking at Passover on April 10th! Will be 9 weeks and 5 days then.