Late Term and Child Loss

Intro and grieving

This is so hard to write, but so much harder to feel. I had a miscarriage last year and got pregnant again through a frozen transfer October 31. I went into labour 2 days ago and my beautiful Ivy May was born at 22 weeks, 4 days. We had a few precious hours with her before she passed.
I don't know where to go from here. I'm exhausted, physically sore and emotionally devastated. I can't stop crying and sleeping is nearly impossible. My heart has broken into pieces and one of them is missing. My gorgeous girl was so perfect in every way. How do I even begin to get through this?

Re: Intro and grieving

  • @SoloCanary I'm so sorry for your's so traumatizing on so many levels and really leaves you feeling lost and alone. But know that you're NOT alone!!
    I had a miscarriage last year as well and just went through a D&E last Tuesday at 13.5wks as my daughter had severe Hydrops Fetalis along with a T21 diagnosis. She had so much fluid surrounding organs, doctors didn't think I'd make it even a few more weeks. I started bleeding last Monday and then decided Tuesday to go ahead with the procedure. I've never been so heartbroken in my entire life and having to go through 24hrs of contractions (they out in dilators the day prior to surgery) leading up to the procedure made it that much worse. 
    I cant even imagine going through it at 22weeks...and that factored into my decision as I couldn't take a loss even further along.

    Again, im deeply sorry for your loss...lean on friends if you can...ive found that to be helpful. I go up and down from day to day right now. You WILL get through this...just not over it. Hugs mama. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

     #1: 8wks MMC 4/16
    #2: 13+4 T21 + Hydrops 3/17
  • I'm so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Ivy May. It's the worst thing to have to go through and so very unfair.  
    Take some time to work through your feelings. Go to therapy if you can, it helped me a lot (stilbirth at 28 weeks). After it happened to me, I spent a few weeks just staring out the window. Then I threw myself into trying to figure life out. Some things that helped me: Coloring - very calming, watching "safe" movies- ones I had seen a million times and were not triggering, forums and fb groups - talking about it with people who get it and helping others going through the same thing, I did an online child loss grief workshop, pretty much any idea on the internet that was healthy, I tried it. Eventually, I started to feel better. Not back to who I was, but better. 
    So many hugs to you, be gentle with yourself.

    I'm adding a quote image that I saved on my phone's lock screen, it helped me to put one foot in front of the other.

    🌈  Preemie 2016  🌈
    ♥ Stillborn 2015 
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  • So very sorry for your loss. Be patient and kind to yourself. Take it one moment at a time. It's so hard in the beginning, but you do find a new normal and the pain does become less acute with time. I lost my son at 39 weeks day of delivery almost 3 years ago. Hugs to you.
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