@ginger1228 I will admit that I have always--and still--prefer my superheroes in cartoon form. There's just something nostalgic about it that makes me happy. The movies are good, but I don't get particularly excited about them.
That said, I'm pretty excited to see Logan based on the reviews.
My FFC: I am secretly very upset that my very carefully planned out pregnancy has completely derailed off the course for which I imagined it would take. I waited 5 years to get pregnant with my last. I lost 50lbs, ate so well and tried to reduce stress as much as possible. I had pregnancy hypertension with DS2, and my doctor told me that reducing stress was important for my future blood pressure during pregnancy. I took all the doctor advice to heart and really tried to become as healthy and stress free as possible before getting pregnant again so hopefully I wouldn't be put on bedrest again (I had 3 months of bedrest last pregnancy due to blood pressure issues). I didn't get pregnant until DS2 went to kindergarten so that I could focus on reducing stress and try to have as easy a last pregnancy as possible. Cue my mom and all her health problems, cue my siblings throwing all responsibility on me to take care of her. I am mad. I am just so mad that the timing for all this is so bad. I wish this would have all happened before I was pregnant so I could have delayed getting pregnant and wouldn't be so worried about bedrest and stress and blood pressure. This is one of the most stressful situations I have ever been in, and of course it's in the midst of a pregnancy that I was already worried about. I haven't brought this up to anybody irl, and will probably never bring it up. It seems selfish of me to have these feelings. But I am so upset about all this stress, and worry about how it's effecting my baby and my pregnancy.
I hate ultrasound pictures. The doctor wasn't able to get any "good ones" of the baby's face at the A/S and insisted on trying to print out blurry pictures of the feet. DH and I were like, "No, really. Please stop. It's ok." I have stacks of them and don't know what to do with them. I feel like a monster for throwing them away, but...I kind of want to.
Another confession: I have cried at least 5x today. Every few weeks I have a hormonal meltdown like this, in pregnancy. It feels like an alien invasion of my brain. Today I sobbed to DH, "I'm not even upset, I just can't stop crying and all I want to do is cry." UGH!
Same! I'm not even sure what I did with the stack of ultrasound photos from my first. They're probably in a folder somewhere, where this baby's u/s pics are undoubtedly destined to go as well.
ETA Should have been a gif of Buster from Arrested Development screaming, I'm a monster!" but I can't get the gif to stick.
@supermom83 I don't think you're being selfish. You've been doing a lot! And I think it's so admirable that you've been taking care of your mom.
I'm really sorry that so much has been thrown on your plate. I think it would be overwhelming for anyone, and it's not selfish of you to wish that your siblings would help out. Hang in there. >hugs<
@oheliza44@ktewart@mj8215 Yes. He is lovely to look at isn't he? lol. Unfortunately for his sake, that's all he's good for IMO. Other Canadians on here might disagree, but him and his sidekick (Wynne) are running my province into the ground. I live in a Liberal province though so I'll never really get away from it *sigh*
Totally agree he is pretty but totally useless. I don't have to deal with Wynne but at this point I would take her in trade for the nut bar Notley that I have.
FFFC I have been eating terrible this pregnancy, partly because it's my last and partly because it's been all I crave. With that I notice I always eat super healthy the day before a doctor's appointment, like it will magically make a difference.
I am also incredibly anxious about my AS tomorrow and this stupid snow day is killing me. I hate snow days, always have, I don't like feeling like I'm forced to stay home.
@abmommy15 I don't think there's a single good Premier/provincial government in all of Canada. They're all terrible. I hope we get rid of Christy Clark this year, but I'm not optimistic about the alternative either.
@supermom83 Hang in there. You're doing a wonderful thing for your mom. I'm sorry that there are so many stressors in your life during this pregnancy and I hope that venting here helps even just a tiny bit.
We've been hardcore adulting this week (new life insurance policy, updating will, cleaning out closets of old things, filing taxes, etc.) so my FFFC is that I just ate half of an apple pie for lunch. You know, to balance out all of that adulting...
@PurplePumpernickel - same! I don't understand getting in a tizzy over things and am so glad when it can be a civil discussion.
DH and I have dinnertime conversation for tonight now! I'm interested to see what characters were originally different races, but portrayed by white actors. I definitely can see where this sparks backlash. I guess I've been naive in my superhero knowledge and assumed the white characters were originally white. YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THE MEDIA LIED TO ME?! I feel so betrayed.
What actually really sparked this FFFC was Wolverine being a girl (it's supposed to be his daughter - but my understanding is that the daughter is taking over and the male Wolverine will be no longer. I could be wrong.) I just really like Hugh Jackman as Wolverine so that's what bugs me. My thought process went downhill from there! Can't male Wolverine stick around and just team up with his daughter? Why does he have to go away?? (And again, maybe he doesn't?)
Confession 2: I don't think Justin Trudeau is lovely to look at. Zero attraction for me. But I like him in general he's sweet but looks wise he's too "brotherly" lol.
I guess I was thinking more along the lines of characters that are white bc of the culture they're representing (like Merida is white bc she's Scottish) and people getting upset about that. They didn't make her black, Native American, etc bc they want to portray a "typical" Scottish person.
I hadn't given thought about the superhero having racist elements bc of the time they were created, so that's a very good point and makes me look kind of like an asshole. So I am sorry that it came off that way.
I remember DH talking about a superhero that was changing race and there was something in the history that the character was white for a reason. And now, I wonder if that reason came after the character was chosen to be white, so there could be some kind of racist element on why he was chosen to be white in the first place.
I'm actually glad I posted this FFFC bc you made me think about it in a different way. So thanks!
If I think about it, I'll ask DH if he remembers which character he was talking about and maybe do some light research and report back. Riveting, right?
edited for typo
I'm wondering if it was one of the Fantastic Four? I remember my husband talking about that when the new one came out. He said he wasn't sure he wanted to see the movie because of it. Im not too much into the movies but know quite a bit because of my geeky husband.
My FFFC is that I've been sneaking Mcflurry's for the last 2 weeks whenever I go into town to run errands(2-3x a week). Its been my one craving so far and even buying ice cream at the store for home hasnt helped. Now my husband wouldn't have a problem with this but I sneak so my kids can't see what I'm eating and try to get bites of it. I get very possessive of my McFlurry lol.
@michelle04us Lol don't be sorry! I haven't had one in idk how long, so now that makes my pregnant self more excited. Luckily my husband is out of work in less than an hour and I know there's a McDonald's right on the way
@ginger1228 have you not seen the new Logan? It is excellent. Super violent. This may be more of a UO/WTF but I saw a few families with young kids (ages 5-8) and I judged the hell out of taking them to such a violent movie.
@PurplePumpernickel - We're going this weekend! I'm glad to hear it's good bc I don't get excited about it. I TOTALLY judge people who bring young kids. What was the one where the actor even said DO NOT LET YOUR KIDS - Deadpool! That was it. And people still did and it was so inappropriate.
I agree with PP that I don't have a problem with characters in movies being recast with nonwhite actors. A fictional character's race shouldn't change the story all that much. I think that movie creators have a responsibility to show diversity in their movies to reflect the world we live in. I am a person of color, and I find myself evaluating the diversity of commercials, TV shows, and movies all the time. My degree is in sociology, and that sort of thing fascinates me. I am a paying moviegoer and if I am going to support a film, I would like to see myself represented in it in some capacity. I stopped watching Girls because Lena Dunham had such a cop out response to the lack of diversity on her show.
Movies with all women recasts like the new Ghostbusters come across as gimmicky to me and do rub me the wrong way. I'm not a fan of movie reboots changing an all male cast to an all female cast. Why not just mix some women in? I do love that Brave features a badass female character, and would love to see more movies with female protagonists that are not damsels in distress.
In regards to James Bond: Trevor Noah had a hilarious bit in his new comedy show about Idris Elba being cast as James Bond. He said that in countries with very little diversity, Idris Elba wouldn't be very inconspicuous. He would get spotted right away when evading bad guys in Scotland, and wouldn't make a good spy. I didn't think about that haha.
Ok so I looked up the character I thought might be the one that changed race. It was the Human Torch from the Fantastic Four. In the comics(and 2004 movie) he was Invisible Woman's biological brother so he was white. In the remake of the Fantastic Four in 2015 they changed him to being black. In the new movie he still has the same parents but Invisible Woman is now his adopted sister. I can see why my husband wasn't thrilled with the change. It changed the whole storyline behind 2 of the main characters.
@michelle04us I don't know enough about the backstory to know why the Human Torch being black would change the storyline. They're still siblings, right? I never saw the movie so I assume there is something more than that. I used to watch the cartoons and there wasn't a lot made of their childhood/upbringing such that whether they're biological or adopted siblings would have mattered.
This segues nicely into my FFFC: I don't really like being pregnant. But I want two kids. I'm not having twins so.... that means adoption. DH is not really on board. He wants to have biological kid #2, if we have one at all. I told him that's easy for him to say. He's not the one that has to be pregnant or breastfeed/pump.
It makes me sad that DH is not on board, and I don't think he ever will be. And I don't want to force it on him, obviously. That wouldn't be good for anyone, least of all the hypothetical adopted kid.
@PurplePumpernickel I have been hearing a lot of "whitewashing" cases lately where white actors were cast to play originally nonwhite characters or portray real people of color. Hollywood has a long history of doing this, and it used to be highly offensive in some instances like Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's. It is more subtle now, but still offensive IMO. Actors of color have a hard enough time getting cast in movies without white actors taking roles where they're passed off as a different race.
My FFFC: I am acutely aware of the general population of this birth month board, and it makes me a little uncomfortable to post about certain topics. I am very liberal and also a person of color, but I swear I do not harbor any racist against white people feelings. So please do not take it that way.
After doing some more reading I can see the reasoning behind changing the cast. They did it to make it more relatable to kids now who are part of mixed race families or have friends who are. These characters were created in the early 60's so Im sure that has something to do with why they were all white characters to begin with. My research has led me to believe it was a good thing what the director did.
The only thing it changes from what I can see is that the 2 aren't biological siblings but compete more for attention from the father (mother passed I think) and actually causes a battle between the two in the film that's not in the comics.
My FFFC for today is I've been so busy moving and evening nausea is back in full force- I'm pretty sure DS has survived off of chocolate chip poptarts, string cheese, and drinkable yogurts for the last week.
ETA: this post made me feel like a terrible mom so I just gave him a banana... that counts for something right?
@crzyforbabies I am a WOC too and I am pretty much with you re: importance of diversity in media. I'm also in the entertainment industry so it drives me MAD when I have to read these scripts and all of them are written by white men who can't seem to grasp how to write a female character. or a POC character. etc. I'm Asian, so the whitewashing in Hollywood (which is a big problem for Asian roles) is really aggravating. It's subtle because it's not overt racism like Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's, but it's a microaggression that basically reinforces sentiments like Asian Americans aren't REALLY American or Asian Americans don't exist or Asian Americans aren't important enough to exist. etc.
@supermom83 I am so sorry you are so stressed right now. You are dealing with so much. I hope you can relax here and there, sneak in super naps, and get some much needed support soon.
Please feel free to vent anytime on here. What you are experiencing is real, and non of us will mind. Since I'm a 'fixer', I want to suggest you to tell your siblings about your emotional needs while you provide all the needs for your mother? I don't know your family history, obviously, but it's so crappy of them to leave all this on their pregnant sister. I'm famous for using the line "put yourself in my shoes, please! How would you feel if you were on the receiving end of this?" I'm a non confrontational person, but what they are doing is wrong. Again, I'm so sorry.
Eta bump ate half my post!!! Do you have anyway to get a vomunteer(church/friend/mothers friend) to come in one day for a few hours, just so you can relax?? Or, if you belong to a church maybe a weekly visitor for a few hours one day a week just so you can put your feet up? You are a great daughter. And mom!
@supermom83 that sounds really tough. Why did your siblings pin all the responsibility on you? When my mom had knee replacement surgery, my sister volunteered to take care of her instead of having my mom get a nurse through her insurance. Then she got her first nursing job, and the responsibility shifted to me. I hated seeing my mother in pain and helping her with nursing tasks did not come easy to me! I couldn't imagine doing it while also pregnant. Can you get someone to come in through your mom's insurance?
There's a lot more people in this convo now so I'm giving up on tagging bc I'm mobile and I have to scroll through so much.
I completely agree there needs to be more diversity in the media. I'm glad POC have chimed in to get another POV. I try to check myself and see things from everyone's perspective. @crzyforbabies - I also have a degree in sociology so the way people think intrigues me (including how I think). For example, recently I was reading a book and the character's race wasn't mentioned until a good way through the book. The character ended up being black, but the entire time I pictured the person as white. It made me think about assumptions. Do POC think this way? Like would a POC assume the person was their race or would they assume the person was white bc the media uses more white actors? And why did I make the assumption the person white?
I think it's important for there to be more positive role models for POC to look up to in the media - and even to help open the minds of whites people. It still baffles me that some of my family is weird about black people. The city I live in is fairly large and one side of town (where I grew up) is probably 60% white/40% POC. The side of town my little cousin grew up on is predominately white - like I would guess her high school was 98% white (she's much younger than me - she just graduated high school last year). One time I was pulling into my driveway and she was with me. A black man was walking down the street and she said "what do we do?" I was caught off guard and was like "we get out of the car?" DH is going to be teaching at that school next year and I made it clear that I am not moving to that side of town bc I don't want my kid to grow up not knowing diversity.
So this topic completely changed from my initial FFFC about changing storylines. Thanks everyone for all the different POVs and for keeping the conversation respectful. I hope I didn't come across as "I don't want black people to be superheroes." (But I'm with you on Ghostbusters and things like that @crzyforbabies - the all woman cast was cheesy!!!!)
@Twinkiedoll - DH doesn't want to adopt either. Does your husband have any experience with adoption? My DH was adopted by a stepdad and it was a horrible experience for him, so it's jaded the way he thinks about adoption. I've worked in child welfare for almost 10 years and would love to at least foster someday so I'm hoping he'll be open to that when our kids are older.
This isn't a FFFC but is relevant. Have you all seen the amazing video of the guy giving a BBC interview, and his kids come wandering in? It's awesome and totally made my day.
But. The kids are obviously biracial, and yet the internet is also exploding with weird comments about the "nanny." The Asian woman who drags the kids out is his wife, not the nanny. It's really interesting to see people's assumptions - and also their reactions when it's pointed out that they're wrong.
(It's been posted to several Groups I'm in, so I am not even talking about the bottom feeders that populate the general comments section of most internet posts. Local mom groups, etc. are the audience I am meaning.)
@virginiaunicorn11 I adored that video, his daughter was absolutely adorable walking in and that baby scooting in was so comedic I can't believe it wasn't a sitcom. Poor mom probably took two seconds to pee - I hope they find the humor in this and laugh about it for the rest of their lives.
@virginiaunicorn11 I was crying, I was laughing so hard. TBH I didn't know either way if it was the mom or nanny because I figured they were in a South Korea but it didn't make any difference to me in my viewing or take home?
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
@virginiaunicorn11 I adored that video, his daughter was absolutely adorable walking in and that baby scooting in was so comedic I can't believe it wasn't a sitcom. Poor mom probably took two seconds to pee - I hope they find the humor in this and laugh about it for the rest of their lives.
Right?! This is the stuff family legends are made of! My family would tell this story at every family gathering if it happened to us. And then we'd all debate the facts of how it actually went down, in a few years, once people forget what Mom was actually doing.
When that little one rolls in on the walker...sooooo good!!
My FFFC: I am acutely aware of the general population of this birth month board, and it makes me a little uncomfortable to post about certain topics. I am very liberal and also a person of color, but I swear I do not harbor any racist against white people feelings. So please do not take it that way.
It makes me sad that we live in a world where you would be uncomfortable to post about certain topics. I wish everyone could just respect others viewpoints and opinions, listen and share with respect and an open mind..we would probably be in a better place globally and everyone might learn a thing or two. I am definitely a conservative politically (although I'm Canadian so conservative up here would be closer to a right leaning democrat in the US) but socially liberal. I have close friends from several races and cultures and will stand on the rooftop screaming for their rights and freedoms, for the rights of a woman to choose, and for a gay person to marry when and whom they choose. I would probably disagree with half of your viewpoints and you would probably disagree with half of mine but talking about these issues is the only way we can ever see change. With opposing viewpoints coming together and realizing that they might not be all right and maybe not all wrong. Unfortunately too many people come at debates and conversations on issues with an all or nothing attitude. We as society get nowhere because nobody is willing to bend a bit, accept some things they might not like to get some things they do like.
@abmommy15 - preach! I like a good discussion about differences and opening up people to other viewpoints. I consider myself open minded to other beliefs/cultures/lifestyles and I still came out of this conversation having gained a new perspective about some things.
My main view is if you're not hurting anyone with how you live, then that's good enough for me. Even if it's something I don't agree with or would never do, I can accept that it's not my life and it's not hurting anyone, so why is it even my business?
@ginger1228 I've joked to DH on occasion that if we had all the money in the world, I would run a foster home / pitbull sanctuary. My first preference was always to adopt. But we had a heartfelt conversation before we got married, and we agreed that we would try to have the first child biologically. And we'll see how we feel about child #2.
DH wants the kid to be his biologically. He is really enjoying the excitement of the pregnancy. He loves this whole process. I think he feels that evolutionary desire to pass on his genes. I respect that. But it does make me sad. I still hope he changes his mind, but I don't think he's really trying to warm up to the idea either.
@Twinkiedoll - In my experience with my job, that's pretty typical. I think men have a fear they won't be able to love another child the way they would a bio child - or have that connection. DH has talked about a bio connection being important to him too. Maybe it's the maternal instinct thing that makes women more open to being able to readily accept a non-bio child. I've also never cared about passing on my genes - which I think is also more important to men (which might even be socially engrained).
I hope he opens up to the idea bc adoption is such an amazing thing. But I don't blame people who can't do it - it's not for everyone and you're completely right about it not being healthy for the child if it's not something he really wants.
Re: FFFC: "Flame Free" Friday Confessions
That said, I'm pretty excited to see Logan based on the reviews.
ETA Should have been a gif of Buster from Arrested Development screaming, I'm a monster!" but I can't get the gif to stick.
I'm really sorry that so much has been thrown on your plate. I think it would be overwhelming for anyone, and it's not selfish of you to wish that your siblings would help out. Hang in there. >hugs<
I am also incredibly anxious about my AS tomorrow and this stupid snow day is killing me. I hate snow days, always have, I don't like feeling like I'm forced to stay home.
Snow day means Hot chocolate and marshmallows
We've been hardcore adulting this week (new life insurance policy, updating will, cleaning out closets of old things, filing taxes, etc.) so my FFFC is that I just ate half of an apple pie for lunch. You know, to balance out all of that adulting...
DH and I have dinnertime conversation for tonight now! I'm interested to see what characters were originally different races, but portrayed by white actors. I definitely can see where this sparks backlash. I guess I've been naive in my superhero knowledge and assumed the white characters were originally white. YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THE MEDIA LIED TO ME?! I feel so betrayed.
What actually really sparked this FFFC was Wolverine being a girl (it's supposed to be his daughter - but my understanding is that the daughter is taking over and the male Wolverine will be no longer. I could be wrong.) I just really like Hugh Jackman as Wolverine so that's what bugs me. My thought process went downhill from there!
My FFFC is that I've been sneaking Mcflurry's for the last 2 weeks whenever I go into town to run errands(2-3x a week). Its been my one craving so far and even buying ice cream at the store for home hasnt helped. Now my husband wouldn't have a problem with this but I sneak so my kids can't see what I'm eating and try to get bites of it. I get very possessive of my McFlurry lol.
@ginger1228 have you not seen the new Logan? It is excellent. Super violent. This may be more of a UO/WTF but I saw a few families with young kids (ages 5-8) and I judged the hell out of taking them to such a violent movie.
I TOTALLY judge people who bring young kids. What was the one where the actor even said DO NOT LET YOUR KIDS - Deadpool! That was it. And people still did and it was so inappropriate.
Movies with all women recasts like the new Ghostbusters come across as gimmicky to me and do rub me the wrong way. I'm not a fan of movie reboots changing an all male cast to an all female cast. Why not just mix some women in? I do love that Brave features a badass female character, and would love to see more movies with female protagonists that are not damsels in distress.
In regards to James Bond: Trevor Noah had a hilarious bit in his new comedy show about Idris Elba being cast as James Bond. He said that in countries with very little diversity, Idris Elba wouldn't be very inconspicuous. He would get spotted right away when evading bad guys in Scotland, and wouldn't make a good spy.
This segues nicely into my FFFC: I don't really like being pregnant. But I want two kids. I'm not having twins so.... that means adoption. DH is not really on board. He wants to have biological kid #2, if we have one at all. I told him that's easy for him to say. He's not the one that has to be pregnant or breastfeed/pump.
It makes me sad that DH is not on board, and I don't think he ever will be. And I don't want to force it on him, obviously. That wouldn't be good for anyone, least of all the hypothetical adopted kid.
My FFFC: I am acutely aware of the general population of this birth month board, and it makes me a little uncomfortable to post about certain topics. I am very liberal and also a person of color, but I swear I do not harbor any racist against white people feelings. So please do not take it that way.
The only thing it changes from what I can see is that the 2 aren't biological siblings but compete more for attention from the father (mother passed I think) and actually causes a battle between the two in the film that's not in the comics.
ETA: this post made me feel like a terrible mom so I just gave him a banana... that counts for something right?
I'm Asian, so the whitewashing in Hollywood (which is a big problem for Asian roles) is really aggravating. It's subtle because it's not overt racism like Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's, but it's a microaggression that basically reinforces sentiments like Asian Americans aren't REALLY American or Asian Americans don't exist or Asian Americans aren't important enough to exist. etc.
...I share your FFFC, too
Please feel free to vent anytime on here. What you are experiencing is real, and non of us will mind. Since I'm a 'fixer', I want to suggest you to tell your siblings about your emotional needs while you provide all the needs for your mother? I don't know your family history, obviously, but it's so crappy of them to leave all this on their pregnant sister. I'm famous for using the line "put yourself in my shoes, please! How would you feel if you were on the receiving end of this?" I'm a non confrontational person, but what they are doing is wrong. Again, I'm so sorry.
Eta bump ate half my post!!! Do you have anyway to get a vomunteer(church/friend/mothers friend) to come in one day for a few hours, just so you can relax?? Or, if you belong to a church maybe a weekly visitor for a few hours one day a week just so you can put your feet up? You are a great daughter. And mom!
I completely agree there needs to be more diversity in the media. I'm glad POC have chimed in to get another POV. I try to check myself and see things from everyone's perspective. @crzyforbabies - I also have a degree in sociology so the way people think intrigues me (including how I think). For example, recently I was reading a book and the character's race wasn't mentioned until a good way through the book. The character ended up being black, but the entire time I pictured the person as white. It made me think about assumptions. Do POC think this way? Like would a POC assume the person was their race or would they assume the person was white bc the media uses more white actors? And why did I make the assumption the person white?
I think it's important for there to be more positive role models for POC to look up to in the media - and even to help open the minds of whites people. It still baffles me that some of my family is weird about black people. The city I live in is fairly large and one side of town (where I grew up) is probably 60% white/40% POC. The side of town my little cousin grew up on is predominately white - like I would guess her high school was 98% white (she's much younger than me - she just graduated high school last year). One time I was pulling into my driveway and she was with me. A black man was walking down the street and she said "what do we do?" I was caught off guard and was like "we get out of the car?" DH is going to be teaching at that school next year and I made it clear that I am not moving to that side of town bc I don't want my kid to grow up not knowing diversity.
So this topic completely changed from my initial FFFC about changing storylines. Thanks everyone for all the different POVs and for keeping the conversation respectful. I hope I didn't come across as "I don't want black people to be superheroes." (But I'm with you on Ghostbusters and things like that @crzyforbabies - the all woman cast was cheesy!!!!)
But. The kids are obviously biracial, and yet the internet is also exploding with weird comments about the "nanny." The Asian woman who drags the kids out is his wife, not the nanny. It's really interesting to see people's assumptions - and also their reactions when it's pointed out that they're wrong.
(It's been posted to several Groups I'm in, so I am not even talking about the bottom feeders that populate the general comments section of most internet posts. Local mom groups, etc. are the audience I am meaning.)
When that little one rolls in on the walker...sooooo good!!
@dancegurl1118 agreed. Just sayin.
I am definitely a conservative politically (although I'm Canadian so conservative up here would be closer to a right leaning democrat in the US) but socially liberal. I have close friends from several races and cultures and will stand on the rooftop screaming for their rights and freedoms, for the rights of a woman to choose, and for a gay person to marry when and whom they choose. I would probably disagree with half of your viewpoints and you would probably disagree with half of mine but talking about these issues is the only way we can ever see change. With opposing viewpoints coming together and realizing that they might not be all right and maybe not all wrong. Unfortunately too many people come at debates and conversations on issues with an all or nothing attitude. We as society get nowhere because nobody is willing to bend a bit, accept some things they might not like to get some things they do like.
My main view is if you're not hurting anyone with how you live, then that's good enough for me. Even if it's something I don't agree with or would never do, I can accept that it's not my life and it's not hurting anyone, so why is it even my business?
DH wants the kid to be his biologically. He is really enjoying the excitement of the pregnancy. He loves this whole process. I think he feels that evolutionary desire to pass on his genes. I respect that. But it does make me sad. I still hope he changes his mind, but I don't think he's really trying to warm up to the idea either.
I hope he opens up to the idea bc adoption is such an amazing thing. But I don't blame people who can't do it - it's not for everyone and you're completely right about it not being healthy for the child if it's not something he really wants.